“Wait a minute—you severed your bond?” The Earth girl frowned at us. “I’ve never heard of that before. I mean, I don’t know much about your people but don’t you guys bond for life?”
“A bond between Denarin males is…complicated,” I said in a low voice. “Normally you can’t break it. But we found a way.”
“Oh you did, did you?” Grav’s eyes narrowed even more. “And what way was that? Did you sacrifice this little female’s health so the two of you could get free of each other?”
“Of course not!” Lucian exclaimed. “We would never hurt Rylee—we love her!”
“You mean I love her,” I snapped. “You’re already bonded to another male and having the time of your life with the female your mother picked out for you!”
“What?” He shook his head, looking genuinely confused. “What are you talking about? I’m not bonded to anyone!”
“You deny it?” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “You’re telling me you’re not already psy-bonded to Hylorn and looking to get life-bonded to a female you both care for?”
“Of course I deny it!” he snarled. “I haven’t seen Hylorn or anyone else in the past week. I’ve been holed up alone in my apartment feeling like shit because you severed our bond!”
“Stop lying!” I shouted. My hands balled into fists and I longed to punch him in his stupid, lying face. “Your own mother called to tell me all about how fucking happy you are now that Rylee and I are out of your life!”
“My…my mother?” His voice faltered and he put a hand to his head. “She said all that?”
“Guess she just couldn’t resist rubbing it in,” I said bitterly. “She went on and fucking on about how happy you are now.”
“She lied.” His voice was cold and flat. “She lied to you.”
“Oh, so being with Hylorn and having the ‘perfect female’ isn’t making you happy?” I demanded sarcastically. “I’m so sorry for you, Lucian. What a fucking disappointment.”
“No, I mean she lied about everything.” Lucian sounded stunned, as though he was discovering some great treachery he still couldn’t quite believe. “She lied about Hylorn and the female and about me being mated to them. And she lied back at my apartment when she said she wanted to throw a party for me to introduce you and Rylee as my bond-mates. It was a set-up all along—an excuse to bring Hylorn back into my life and let you see us together.”
“Well that part of it worked, anyway,” I said sharply. “Seeing the two of you heart-pledging—”
“He pledged to me!” Lucian snapped. “And I did not return his pledge. Because it wouldn’t be right—not when I was already pledged to you and Rylee.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Nothing is right anymore without the two of you.”
I stared at him, wanting to believe but not sure if I could.
“So that scene with Hylorn in the food prep area was—?
“A trap planned by my mother,” he said dully. “And you and I both fell directly into it.”
“But she came to me afterwards,” I protested. “She said you truly cared for Hylorn. And told me—”
“That if you cared about me you’d let me go because you’d only drag me down and ruin my life, right?” he finished for me.
“How—?” I began.
“How do I know what she said? Because it’s the same exact thing she said to Hylorn when she separated the two of us so many years ago.” His voice was little more than a whisper. “How could I not see this? How could I let her ruin my chances for happiness and drive away the people I loved again?”
I didn’t know what to say. The pain on his face was real—as real as the pain in my heart now that I understood what had happened.
“It’s not your fault,” I said in a low voice. “I should have listened to your explanation about you and Hylorn instead of losing my temper. I should have given myself time to cool down before using the Claw to sever our bond and demanding you do the same.”
“The Claw?” Grav, the big Braxian demanded. He and his mate Leah had been standing back, watching quietly as Lucian and I argued and shouted and finally came to the truth. But now he stepped forward, a frown on his face. “What the fuck is this ‘Claw’ you two are talking about?”
“It is an instrument we found in a sacred place on our own planet,” Lucian explained icily. “We were led there by a prophesy of one of the Wave-Dwellers.”
“Wave-Dwellers?” Leah shook her head. “Who are they?”
“One of the Twelve Peoples,” Grav told her. “They live in the seas of Denaris and have the lower half of a sea creature when they’re in the water. But when they come up on land, they’re able to change their appearance and look completely, uh, normal. Or at least, like the rest of us—with legs and everything.”
Her face brightened. “Mermaids? You’re saying there are real, actual mermaids on Denaris?”
“Dunno what mermaids are but sure,” her mate growled. “But listen, I’m more interested in the ‘Claw’ these two used to sever their bond.” He nodded at Lucian and me. “If it’s what I think it is…” He shook his head. “It could be bad fuckin’ news.”
“I have it with me,” I said.
“You brought it with you?” Lucian gave me an incredulous look.
“Thought we might need it. I don’t know.” I shrugged defensively.
“Get it,” Grav demanded. “I need to see it.”
I went back to Lucian’s ship and rummaged in my pack. The golden Claw was wrapped in a shirt and I unrolled it carefully, not wanting to be stuck by it again. It’s four, wickedly sharp tips were stained maroon from my blood and Lucian’s and I was struck again by how evil the thing felt in my hand.
Carrying it away from my body, I brought it back to the AMI.
“Here.” I held it out to Grav.
“What is that? It looks like some kind of weird golden backscratcher!” Leah put out a hand but Grav quickly pushed it away.
“Don’t touch, baby—that thing is fuckin’ dangerous,” he growled. He glared at me. “Do you know what you have there? It’s a Goddess-damned Braxian soul-devourer.”
“The Claw is Braxian?” I frowned at the dried blood on its tips. “You’re sure?”
“Sure I’m fuckin’ sure,” he growled. “They’ve been outlawed on my home planet for over a thousand years but you still see them pop up from time to time—usually after they fucked some poor bastard to the Frozen Hells and back.”
“What…” Lucian cleared his throat. “What are the side effects of a ‘soul-devourer then? We only used it to sever our bond.”
“Yeah, it’ll sever a bond all right—by taking a bite out of your fuckin’ soul,” Grav said, frowning. “And leaving you in crippling pain afterwards.”
“I haven’t experienced any pain,” Lucian protested.
“Me either,” I said.
“It looks like Rylee is, though.” Leah’s voice was soft and worried.
I looked over her head at the AMI lightscreen where Rylee was still curled in a ball and bit back a curse. Could it be that the pain which should rightfully have come to Lucian and me after severing our bond had landed on her instead? A wave of guilt and horror so deep it threatened to drown me washed over me. What had we done to the female we both loved?
One look at Lucian’s face let me know he was feeling the same.
“But…how could this happen?” he demanded. “We followed the instructions—Drace and I both marked ourselves, over our hearts.”
“Yeah? And what about Rylee—did you use the soul-devourer on her too?” Grav demanded.
“Well…no,” I said. “We didn’t think it was necessary. It was just Lucian and I wanting to sever our bond. So Rylee—”
“Is the one who wound up getting the pain all three of you should have shared,” Grav finished. “Goddess-damn it! Do you realize what you’ve done? Rylee still has a part of her bond to both of you because she wasn’t marked by the soul-devourer. And because she’s the o
ne who still has a little bit of the bond, she’s also the one who got the pain!”
“Fuck!” I threw the evil Claw on the metal flooring of the Commercians’ station. It clattered and landed points up, giving me a bloody grin with its stained talons.
“What can we do?” Lucian asked in a low, urgent voice. “Both of us love Rylee to distraction and this has all been a horrible mistake! We should never have severed our bond. How can we ease her pain and get back our bond?”
“You can’t,’ Grave growled. “Can’t get your bond back, I mean. Once a bond is broken—eaten, really—by a soul-destroyer, there’s no restoring it. But since Rylee still has her part of the bond, it might be possible to at least ease her pain.”
“How?” Lucian asked. “How can we do it? If our bond is lost, at least we can take away her suffering.”
“Skin-to-skin contact—as much as possible,” Grave said. “It helps dissipate the pain.”
“But don’t you see—we can’t hold Rylee between us and touch her! Not now!” Lucian exclaimed. “We did a memory-wipe on her—she doesn’t even know us anymore!”
“Damn it!” I snapped. “We can’t just leave her in pain, Lucian!”
“Again, she doesn’t know us,” he spat. “We’ll scare her to death if we bring her up here and demand the three of us get naked together.”
“Then don’t bring her up to the AMI.” Leah spoke up, looking thoughtful. “You guys go down to her instead.”
“Wonderful plan,” Lucian said acidly. “So two huge, naked aliens she doesn’t know suddenly show up in her sleeping chamber? That won’t be frightening at all.”
Leah pursed her lips in a frown. “You’re right—that would be terrifying. Tell you what—let me go first and talk to her.”
“You’re sure?” Grav frowned at his mate. “I thought you didn’t like traveling through the AMI system.”
“It’s not very comfortable,” Leah admitted. “But it’s my fault Rylee’s in this mess in the first place. I gave her the, uh, La-ti-zal virus or whatever you call it, so I should be the one to help her. And I am a Healer—that’s my La-ti-zal power,” she explained to us. “So maybe I can help.”
“I wish you could, baby, but I kinda doubt it,” Grav growled softly, stroking her long brown hair. “Usually this kind of psychic pain can only be helped by whoever caused it in the first place.”
She got a stubborn look on her face. “Well, at least I’m going to try.”
“All right, try then. I know better than to argue with you.” Grav turned to Char’noth, the head Commercian who had been standing by, waiting for orders. “You guys get your transporter or whatever the hell it is ready to go. My female is going down first and then you’re going to bring her back up and send these two down.” He nodded at me and Lucian.
“At once, my lord Grav.” Char’noth bowed obsequiously, his blue, worm-like body writhing with the gesture. “Only…who will pay the costs of all these transferences? Travel between our station and the Earth takes immense amounts of energy, you know and energy is not cheap.”
“I’ll fuckin’ pay,” Grav growled. “I’ve got an unlimited expense account from the Empress to keep tabs on you little bastards. So get going!”
Char’noth scurried away, his multiple legs clacking on the metal floor.
“All right.” Leah took a deep breath. “I’ll try my best to help her remember you. Or if that won’t work, at least to let her know you guys just want to help ease her pain.”
“We do,” Lucian said fervently. “I’ll never forgive myself for letting her be hurt like this.”
“I won’t forgive myself either,” I growled. “To think she’s been in pain all this time—we’re fucking idiots, bond-m—” I stopped myself just in time but Lucian shook his head, looking sad.
“Bond-mate,” he finished for me quietly. “My fondest wish is that you could call me that again, Drace—and I could call you the same. When we were joined with Rylee between us, I never felt such a sense of peace and rightness.”
“And I’ve never felt more alone or fucked-up since we parted,” I said in a low voice.
“You can’t get the bond back,” Grav growled. “Right now you need to concentrate on easing that little female’s pain.” He nodded to Rylee’s image on the lightscreen again.
“Before I go, tell me a little about how you and Rylee met and the things you did together,” Leah said urgently. “Any little details that might jog her memory would help.”
“Okay,” I said. “Well it started because Lucian and I were looking to break our bond…”
We talked quickly, trying to give her the important points and details—the highlights of our adventures together—while the Commercians prepared their transport. Leah nodded rapidly and I hoped she could keep all the strange things the three of us had been through together straight.
“My lord Gravex—we are ready.” Char’noth’s high, piping voice informed us. “Please have your female disrobe if she does not wish to lose her clothing in the transfer.”
“That’s for my eyes only.” The Braxian’s face darkened. “You two go back to your ship. I’ll let you know when it’s time for you to transport.”
“Go back to the ship?” I protested. “What the fuck are we supposed to do there?”
“Pray,” Grav growled. “Now get the fuck out of here.”
Lucian and I looked at each other. What else could we do? We left and went to wait in his ship, hoping against hope that Leah could convince Rylee to let two alien males she no longer remembered come into her room and comfort and touch her.
“Please Goddess,” I prayed as we stepped back through the airlock. “Please let Rylee be okay. Let us be able to ease her suffering and take away her pain. Even if we’re never able to be together again, let us at least do that much.”
I didn’t hear any answers or feel any warm glow but I did get the sense that someone was watching. Watching and waiting to see what Lucian and I did and how we cared for the female we both loved.
Chapter Thirty-three
Rylee
A week later, the headache still hadn’t gone away. In fact, if anything, it had gotten worse. I’d gotten in contact with my Aunt Celia who had come to take me to the ER. Nobody said the words out loud but I think we were both worried about some kind of brain tumor or aneurism. But first a Cat Scan, then an MRI showed nothing. I was having headaches for no reason and no medication the doctors could give me would make them stop.
I was in constant pain—feeling so bad I couldn’t bear to even get out of bed. My Aunt or one of my cousins came once a day to check on me, make me some soup, and get me in and out of the shower, which was really sweet of them. I hadn’t realized what a close knit family I had until I was feeling so bad. When I mentioned how grateful I was to my Aunt, she stroked my hair out of my eyes and gave me a worried smile.
“Of course I’ll take care of you, child! You’re like one of my own. Just wish we could find out what’s going wrong with you. Are you sure you won’t let me take you to the hospital again?”
“So they can hook me up to all kinds of tubes and wires and run more tests that don’t show a damn thing?” I said. “No, Auntie—I’m better off in my own place.”
Brave words and I’d meant them when I said them. But now, a few days later and feeling much, much worse than I would have dreamed possible, I was beginning to reconsider. I hurt so much I was beginning to feel like I was going crazy…which was probably why I wasn’t that surprised when I turned over in bed and saw Leah, the friend of Zoe’s I’d helped with her divorce papers, walking out of my bathroom.
“Hi, Rylee.” She gave me a little wave. “I hope you don’t mind me showing up unexpectedly like this.”
“Uh…no.” I struggled to make my brain and mouth work together. “But…what are you doing here? If you’re looking to get any legal paperwork done, I’m sorry but I’m really not up to it right now. I have a massive headache that won’t go away.”
“I know you do.” She came over to my bed and sat on the side of it, a concerned look on her pretty face. “And I’m not here for any paperwork.”
“Uh…okay.” I closed my eyes again, the pain overwhelming me. “Sorry. I just…just feel so bad.”
“I know, honey.” There was compassion in her voice and I felt her cool hand stroking over my forehead. To my surprise, the headache eased up, just the tiniest bit. It still throbbed dully just behind my eyes but at least I didn’t feel like I was going to pass out from the pain.
“Hey, how did you do that?” I muttered. Looking up at her, I noticed something else. “And why are you wearing my bathrobe?”
“It was the only thing I could find in your bathroom when I got here. It was either this or a towel or go naked.” She nodded down at the pink, terrycloth robe which had been a present from one of my cousins the Christmas before. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“It’s fine,” I said, frowning. “But…did you just come over here to borrow my bathrobe?” Even with my head singing The Hallelujah Chorus that seemed like a strange idea. “And how did you get in, anyway?” I asked. “Did my aunt leave the door unlocked the last time she left?”
“No…” Leah took a deep breath. “Look, the way I got here, and your headache, and even the reason I’m wearing your bathrobe are all kind of…interconnected.”
“What?” I shook my head and winced as the sudden motion set off new flares of pain behind my eyes. Okay, should not have done that. “I don’t understand,” I groaned, putting a hand to my throbbing temples.
“Do you remember two big guys named Drace and Lucian?” she asked me softly. “One of them had kind of olive green skin and the other was dark blue?”
“Blue and green skin? What?” I squinted at her, feeling my head throb even harder. “I don’t know any—”
Suddenly an image flashed before my mind’s eye—there and gone so quickly I wasn’t even sure I’d seen it. Me, sandwiched between two huge, muscular, male bodies, both of them touching me…both of them…what? What were they doing?
The moment I asked myself the question, I felt the familiar gray fog begin to roll over my mind. I tried to fight it but that only made my head throb. At last, I had to give up.
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