From Smoke To Flames— Amazon: A West Brothers Novel

by A. M. Hargrove

  “How’s it going over there?” Grey asked.

  “So far so good, but it’s only been one night.” I laughed at them.

  “True.”

  “I went to my second meeting today and it was good. I like the group.”

  “That’s encouraging,” Dad said.

  “I agree. I’m happy with things so far. Rose has been great too.”

  “What about the daughter?”

  “She’s a little spitfire. She told me today she likes me. I guess I passed her test, whatever that was.”

  “That’s a good sign,” Hudson said.

  I shrugged. “I’m a loveable guy. What can I say?”

  Hudson play punched me in the gut. “Your lack of humility hasn’t changed much.”

  “Ha ha.”

  We talked a bit more and then Mom called us in to eat. The dining room table was set and she’d set up a smaller table in there for the four kids. She made her Sunday special chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, mixed vegetables, salad, and homemade rolls. I patted my stomach in anticipation.

  “This looks really great, Mom,” I said as my mouth watered.

  “Yes, it does. Pearson has bragged about your Sunday dinners,” Rose said.

  “Gosh, I hope I live up to the expectation,” Mom said.

  We started eating after the kids were settled and it was delicious. Everyone raved about it and Rose asked for the chicken recipe.

  “I don’t really have one, but I can give you my best guesstimate.”

  “That would be awesome. It’s addicting.”

  Everyone stopped eating and looked at me.

  “Hey, I don’t want to be that gray elephant in the room. You can say the words addict, addicted, addicting or anything to do the drugs. I’m not that sensitive about it. In fact, if you have any questions, I’d prefer you ask them instead of keeping them sealed up inside.”

  The tension flowed out of the room. “Dang, I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  Rose piped in. “Oftentimes, people are afraid to offend the recovering addict. But it’s really best to keep things in the open. That way no one feels like they’re stepping on eggshells and it’s a much healthier environment all around, but especially for the one recovering. Don’t be afraid to ask him about it either. When he goes to his meetings daily, that’s what they discuss.”

  I sent her a grateful smile. “Rose is right. This should be an open forum. I don’t want to hide anything. Oh, and Hudson, thanks for cleaning up my place. We went there this morning and it was immaculate.”

  “That was Milly’s idea, actually. And thank our cleaning lady. She spent a day there. I, uh, took the liberty of destroying all of your drugs and paraphernalia before she got there.”

  “I appreciate that. I actually wondered where all that stuff was because that was the first thing I intended to do when I got there. Thanks for saving me from having to deal with that.”

  Grey asked, “Do you think it would’ve been a temptation?”

  “I’m not sure, to be honest. I had Rose there as reinforcement. And if I’d felt the slightest weakness, I would’ve called to her. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments, too many of them. But they seem to hit at night. That’s the main reason I wasn’t ready to live on my own.”

  Mom asked, “What’s it like? The heroin I mean?”

  I quickly glanced at the kids because I didn’t want them to overhear this conversation, but they were immersed in their own conversation with Kinsley leading the group. They weren’t paying us the least bit of attention.

  “At first, it’s like floating on the best cloud you can possibly think of. You’re totally aware, but all your worries vanish. And you think, now I get it. This is why people love this so much. When you come down, you immediately want to do it again, but it’s not an overriding need. It’s just because you felt so awesome. So you wait and then the next time, the feeling isn’t quite as great, but it’s still pretty damn good. You keep doing it, but you find that every time you do, you need a little more, and that initial high you got has diminished. Soon, you hit a point where you’re doing it because you have to, not because you want to. The first time I did it was because I couldn’t get my hands on any Oxy or Lortabs. It was only supposed to be a substitute. But it’s so easy to get and cheap. I could find it anywhere and have it at my disposal so much easier, so that’s why I switched. Each time I bought it, I’d tell myself that would be the last time. You all know how that went. Then I told myself I’d stop. I started drinking heavily to replace it, to replace the withdrawal symptoms, but they’d get so bad, I’d hit the streets to get some anyway.”

  “When we saw you at the fundraiser, you were high?” Hudson asked.

  “As a kite. And Milly, I should apologize for hitting on you. That was unacceptable.”

  She shrugged and chuckled. “Hudson warned me about you, so don’t worry about it.”

  “My reputation was pretty bad back then and the drugs were partly to blame.”

  “Partly?” Hudson asked.

  “Well, I can’t help that I’m attracted to beautiful women.” I set my eyes on Rose and her cheeks flushed that pink again. I adored that about her. Mom’s brows rose, along with most everyone else’s at the table. I grasped her knee under the table and said, “By the way, I’d like to tell you that Rose and I are … well, dating.” Rose gaped at me. I guess I should’ve discussed this with her first, but things felt so right with her.

  “Dating?” Mom asked curiously.

  “Yeah, but we’re being very discreet because of,” and I aimed my thumb over my shoulder in the direction of Montana.

  Milly and Marin shared a conspiratorial glance.

  “What?” I asked them.

  “We figured something was going on between you two,” Marin answered.

  “How so?

  “Call it women’s intuition,” she said as Milly nodded.

  “Okay.”

  I noticed how quiet Grey and Hudson were. It was normal for Dad to be, but not them.

  I asked them, “What’s up with you two?”

  “Nothing,” Grey said, just a little too quick for my liking.

  “Um no. Something is up. I’m an attorney and can read people. Spill it.”

  “Fine. We’re worried you’re moving too fast. We don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

  Rose and I both spoke at the same time, then chuckled. “You go first,” I said.

  “First, thank you for caring about that. I am a little shocked that Pearson told you. But I went through a devastating marriage and am probably the most cautious person you’ll meet.” Hudson and Grey shared a look and then laughed. “Did I say something funny?” Rose asked.

  “We’re sorry, but we were exactly like you with the devastating marriages, so we understand,” Hudson said. “Sorry to interrupt. Please go on.”

  “What I was saying is I won’t be careless because there’s someone else to consider in this too.” She flicked her head toward Montana.

  Grey said, “Oh, we totally get that part as well.”

  “Right, then you know how it feels then to be guarded. I can assure you I am overly protective of us both.”

  I jumped in there. “You both know me. I’ve never been involved with anyone before so for me to take this step, you should know how important this is. And to take this even further, recovering addicts have scrambled brains for a while. It’s hard to explain, but we are encouraged not to make any life changing decisions for months out of rehab until things normalize. In other words, Rose and I will be taking things slowly. One step at a time as they say.”

  Smiles finally appeared on both of their faces. “Our brother has finally grown up it appears,” Grey said.

  “It may have taken a while, but I think you’re right.”

  Then Mom said, “I wish you all would eat before I have to reheat the food.”

  Kinsley called out, “Gammie, can we have dessert?”

  “See? They’re already done, and
you have barely touched your food.”

  “Mom, we had important things to go over,” I said.

  “I’ll get them dessert,” Marin said. She left the room before Mom could protest.

  We finished our dinner and were treated to one of Mom’s famous chocolate pound cakes.

  “This is so good,” Rose said. “You should sell these.”

  I laughed. “She’d never do that. She’s too busy having fun with all her grandkids.”

  Dad patted Mom on the shoulder. “That she is. We’re running all over the place now because if Paige doesn’t get her ‘baby fix’ I’m in big trouble. She pouts like a four-year-old. You know what they say? Happy wife, happy life.”

  That was a new one for me, but I acted like I’d heard it before. Hmm. Happy wife, happy life. What about happy husband? Didn’t they count for something too? I’d have to ask my brothers about that.

  Each of us helped clear the table and the women shooed us out of the kitchen while they cleaned up. I tried to help, but they told me to go hang with the guys. We traipsed out to the back yard where Hudson threw the ball for the dogs to fetch. That’s where I decided to ask my question.

  “Hey guys, what’s this happy wife happy life stuff? What about the husband? Doesn’t he deserve to be happy too?”

  “Seriously. You did not just ask that, did you?” Grey asked.

  “Yeah. It doesn’t seem fair to me.”

  Both my brothers actually guffawed. They laughed their asses off at me. Even Dad was cracking up too.

  “What? I don’t get it.”

  “Exactly,” Hudson said.

  “Huh?”

  “Happy wife, happy life. Make her happy and she’ll make you happy. Think about it, dude.”

  I did and it suddenly nailed me in the brain. “Oh, shit.” I pointed a finger at them. “See, I told you my brain was scrambled.”

  “No shit,” Hudson said. “I’m assuming you two haven’t done the deed yet then?”

  “What kind of a question is that?”

  “A normal one. Why?”

  “It’s none of your business, that’s why.”

  “Man, you have changed. You would’ve dumped all kinds of info on us before,” Grey said.

  Dad put his arm around me and said, “I for one am more than happy you’re a new man. As your father, I was never fond of those conversations, which was why I always walked away. Parents never want to hear about their children’s sex lives.”

  I cringed. “Yeah, and I’m truly sorry about that. I was usually high or drunk when I said those things. While we’re on this subject, I might as well do step number eight with you and that’s make amends for all my wrongdoings. I know I said I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, but I’m also sorry for all the embarrassment, worry, and everything else I put you through. If I could take it back, I would. Since that’s not possible, I can only apologize and move forward. I want to thank you again for standing by me and supporting me in the worst time of my life.”

  We were standing in a circle and ended up in a group hug. “I can’t possibly tell you all how much I love you.”

  “The feeling is returned, son, and I’m happy for you that you’ve found the right track in life.”

  “I second that,” Grey said.

  “As do I,” said Hudson.

  “I thank God every day for giving me the greatest family in the world.” I wiped my face because it was damp with the tears I’d shed. One thing about going through rehab was it made me unashamed to cry.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Rose

  * * *

  When I’d met Pearson’s family yesterday, I thought they were awesome. After today, I knew he surely had been blessed. Comparing them to mine, I wasn’t sure he understood quite how fortunate he was to have been born into a family that had so much love to give. It surrounded them in everything they did. It was evident his parents still adored each other by the way they looked at and touched each other. Their tiny gestures were so sweet, I found myself thinking back to my parents and never remembering anything like that. No wonder I had hooked up with Greg. I hadn’t known what to look for in a man because I never had a role model.

  His brothers were the same way with their wives and their gestures were reciprocated. I could also see it in Pearson. I hadn’t noticed it until we were there. Growing up around it, he most likely picked it up by seeing his parents doing it. He often touched my hand or my cheek. He wasn’t nearly as intimate as they were, but I could imagine him becoming that way.

  Montana chatted all the way home about how much fun she had. “Can I go back there and play with Kinsley? She likes to dance a lot and wants to teach me with her clicky shoes.”

  “Clicky shoes?”

  “Yeah, she has this thing for Irish step dancing,” Pearson said. “If you let her, she’ll end up teaching you too.”

  “Really? She’s that into it?” I asked.

  “Yes. She even makes Aaron and Wiley do it, though from what Hudson tells me, Wiley refuses to these days. I’m pretty sure when Aaron is a year older, he will too. Then she’ll move on to both sets of twins. She’s convinced she’s going to be on TV one day.”

  I covered my mouth so Montana wouldn’t see me chuckle.

  “Mommy, she’s real good. She kicks her legs up. Can I get some clicky shoes?”

  I twisted in my seat to catch her eye. “We’ll have to wait and see, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Pearson immediately offered to buy her some.

  “Yay. I’m getting clicky shoes.”

  “While that’s awfully nice of Pearson, I think we should wait. You don’t know the first thing about that type of dancing. Maybe you need to find out more about it first.” Then I poked him in the side and shook my head. I didn’t want him spoiling her with everything she asked for.

  “But I know how. Kinsley showed me.”

  “Then you can show us when we get home.”

  We were turning onto our street, so she started swinging her legs in anticipation. As soon as the car stopped, she was unbuckling herself.

  “Hey there, slow down. One of us has to get you out of the car first,” I said.

  “Hurrrrrrry!”

  Pearson did the deed while I unlocked the front door. She darted past me in a blur and came to a halt in the living room. As we stood there, she began kicking her legs out in strange angles while her arms were stuck like glue to her sides. She looked like a broken marionette.

  “See, I know how!”

  “Is that how Kinsley did it?” I asked.

  “Yep,” she said as her legs kept moving in those odd kicks. “I’m real good, huh?”

  “Uh, yeah, you are,” I said. I looked at Pearson and took a finger to close his lower jaw. He shook his head slightly as though he was clearing the cobwebs.

  “She looks exactly like Kinsley. It’s amazing.”

  “You’re joking.”

  “No.” He took out his phone and videoed her. She continued on until she tired herself out.

  “I’m real good, huh Mommy?”

  “Why, that’s one way of putting it.”

  “Can I have my clicky shoes now?”

  “Maybe we should think about dancing lessons first. That way you’ll really know if you like doing it.”

  She crossed her arms and pouted. Her lower lip stuck out so far it was a miracle she didn’t trip over it. “I already like it. And I don’t need no lessons cuz I’m already good.”

  “But if you took lessons, you could get even better.”

  Pearson said, “Muffin, I’m pretty sure Kinsley takes lessons.”

  Her pout magically disappeared. “She does?”

  “Tell you what. Why don’t I call her daddy and we’ll find out.”

  He leaned over and whispered, “I just sent them that video. I’m sure they’re getting a good snicker out of it.” Then he made the call.

  “Hey Grey, does Kinsley take dance lessons?”

  �
�Uh huh. Okay. Can you text me the information?”

  “Cool, thanks.” The call ended.

  “Here’s the deal. She takes lessons on Wednesday after school. He’s going to get Marin to text me the information. She loves them, by the way. And they wouldn’t get her any clicky shoes unless she took lessons.”

  I took Montana’s hand and we sat down. “Here’s the deal, Pop Tart. No lessons, no shoes. Here’s why. I want you to learn how to do this the proper way. And I’m not going to spend any money on shoes unless you agree to take the lessons and finish the term. In other words, if I sign you up for twelve lessons, you complete all twelve, even if you don’t like them.”

  “But I know I’m gonna like them.”

  “Sometimes you think you’ll like things and you end up not liking them, but I won’t allow you to quit, even if you don’t like it. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Mommy.” Her head bobbed up and down.

  “Okay, I’ll call the dance place and get you signed up.”

  She hopped around the room, saying “I’m taking dance lessons, I’m taking dance lessons.” She stopped and asked, “Will I be with Kinsley?”

  “Probably not because she’s been taking them for a while. You’ll be in the new students group.”

  “Okay.”

  “When can I get my clicky shoes?”

  “After I sign you up and talk to the instructor.”

  “Yay. Can you call her now?” She was so excited, I hated to burst her bubble.

  “Honey, it’s Sunday and I doubt they’re open today.”

  Her expression crashed, but then she asked, “Tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I’ll call tomorrow.” She threw her arms around me and said, “Thank you, Mommy. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Pop Tart. Now go practice in your room so you can be ready for when you start.” She scurried off, humming to herself. What a precious child. How did I ever get so lucky?

  “That was some kind of dance, wasn’t it?” Pearson asked, taking a seat next to me.

  “Uh, yeah, and I practically had to scrape your jaw off the floor.”