Gavin’s sisters had taken care of the rental house for Gerald, as well as baskets of snacks at the hospital and a meal service for each of the Robinson siblings for the next week while they were still in the early days of processing the tragedy of their family home being burned to the ground.
Gavin couldn’t imagine what they were going through, losing so many precious memories and family heirlooms. And all that on top of the troubles at Robinson Tech.
He still had trouble processing that the fire had been ruled arson, as Wes had confirmed earlier. The tech industry might be cutthroat but who would have it in for Gerald so much that he or she would be willing to burn down the man’s house? Couple that with the recall of one of their processors, and Gavin couldn’t imagine things getting much worse for the tech company tycoon.
There was no doubt that Gerald had a crack legal team in-house or on retainer, but Gavin wanted to offer his help in whatever capacity was needed. Everett had offered to pick him up so they could drive over together. His brother had a friend on staff so he was monitoring Ben’s recovery.
“Don’t tell me you’ve already messed up things with Christine?” His brother gave a low chuckle even though Gavin didn’t find any humor in the question.
“She’s fine,” he said through clenched teeth.
Everett shook his head and turned onto the boulevard that led to the hospital. “You messed it up. Did she dump you and give back that pretty rock she was wearing?”
“It’s not like that.”
“What’s it like?”
How was he supposed to answer without lying? He’d been lying from the start, but his feelings for Christine didn’t feel fake. Spending the night with her hadn’t been part of their arrangement. The relationship was real and not real. And yes, he’d messed it up.
“I still don’t get why everyone cares so much about my love life,” he muttered.
“We want you to be happy.” Everett gave him an annoyingly perceptive big-brother glance. “We love you, man.”
Gavin pressed two fingers to his suddenly pounding head. Christine made him happy. Could all his doubts and fears be wiped away by something so simple?
“I am happy.” He felt like a broken record. “I’ve got a great life. My life is the envy of everyone around me.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
Gavin sucked in a breath but didn’t respond.
“No one would have guessed you and Christine would be such a perfect match. On paper, you’re two very different people.”
“I don’t care what other people think.” Which wasn’t true since the whole reason this had started was to appease his family.
“She’s good for you,” Everett said, ignoring Gavin’s opinion.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “She’s amazing, which means she should be with someone who can appreciate and take care of her the way she deserves. I’m not a great bet when it comes to long-term.”
“That doesn’t have to be true.”
“But it is,” Gavin countered. “We both know it. Since I’ve been in Austin, I think every single member of this family has warned me about hurting her. There’s a reason for that.”
“We’re not used to seeing you like this, but we believe you can make it work.”
“Right.”
“You can make it work, Gavin. Just stop being an idiot.”
Gavin laughed softly. “Easier said than done.”
“Maybe,” Everett agreed. “The right woman makes it worth it. I can’t imagine my life without Lila.”
“Speaking of you and Lila...” Gavin arched a brow. “Are you ready to talk about the new adventure you two are embarking on?”
Everett slanted him a look that answered the question without words. “You’re more perceptive than you look. She wants to wait a few more weeks before announcing the pregnancy.”
“I won’t say a word.” Gavin reached out a hand and squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “But congratulations.”
“Thanks.” The smile Everett flashed was so full of love and happiness, it made Gavin’s chest pinch. Would he ever feel that way? It was suddenly so easy to imagine a daughter with Christine’s bright hair and sunny smile. But not if their relationship stayed in the pretend realm.
Everett pulled into the hospital parking lot a few minutes later. They weren’t able to see Ben but they talked to Wes and Gerald. The police still had no suspects but the fire investigator had determined that the blaze originated in the master bedroom. It was strange, especially since Gerald hadn’t been home at the time.
Although he didn’t know the Robinsons well, Gavin still felt an overwhelming anger on their behalf toward whoever did this. It felt vindictive and personal. They needed to discover who was behind it. If an enemy was targeting Gerald Robinson, would they try something else or was destroying the family’s home an isolated incident?
Gavin also had some things to work out in his own life. Namely his not-at-all-simple feelings for Christine. Was it as easy as Everett made it seem? Surely not. But he could manage it. All he had to do was talk to Christine and explain...
Explain what?
That he was terrified of hurting her. That he didn’t believe he could make her happy. Neither would give her a reason to make their fake relationship real.
Scratch that. It was already real. Last night proved it. He could manage the rest. After all, it wasn’t like he needed to drop to one knee.
He’d be going back to Denver at the end of next week. Why couldn’t they have a long-distance relationship? He wasn’t necessarily looking to have his cake and eat it, too, but why not?
Weekends and holidays together but enough separation that she wouldn’t get the wrong idea about what he was able to give. They didn’t have to be engaged. He might feel more for her than he had for a woman since...well, since ever. But that didn’t change who he was at the core.
Why should it? He liked her. He had fun with her. Yet he didn’t have to commit more than he could. At some point his family would give up with their insistence on seeing him settled. They’d understand he didn’t have it in him. Surely, Christine would understand, as well.
He was an attorney, after all. He just needed to make his case to her.
Chapter Fifteen
Christine transferred a call to Maddie’s office then continued entering data into the spreadsheet pulled up on the computer in front of her. Megan had called in sick, which was a bad habit the receptionist had on Monday mornings. They’d have to discuss expectations of the job, but for now Christine was filling in at the agency’s front desk.
Two new clients, both looking for large family homes, had everyone feeling a bit more positive about the future. Maddie and Zach were both talented, dedicated Realtors, and Christine knew they’d find a way to overcome the recent setbacks.
She’d do everything she could to support them, even if it meant long hours and little rest. Staying busy was a good distraction from the tightness that had gripped her chest ever since Gavin’s abrupt departure yesterday morning. As promised, he’d texted her last night, but she’d been too emotionally drained to respond with more than a few quick keystrokes.
They’d spent an amazing night together, but now she felt as unsure about his feelings as she had weeks ago. Did he still see her as a friend doing him a favor? The phrase “friends with benefits” came to mind, causing pain to slice across her stomach. That wasn’t what she wanted from Gavin...from any man. Christine wasn’t built for a casual fling and mentally kicked herself for believing it was more.
Needing a short break to clear her head, she popped over to Facebook. A sidebar advertisement for a popular Hill Country wedding venue on the screen, and she couldn’t help but click on the link.
A moment later she sighed as she looked through the slideshow of charming, rustic wedding snapshots. The coup
les looked so happy, and she could clearly imagine futures of babies, family holidays and years filled with both laughter and tears. Not that her biological clock was exactly ticking at the moment, but she wanted to marry and have a family one day. It wasn’t difficult to picture children with blond hair running through a backyard or cuddling up with a mini version of Gavin to read a bedtime story.
“Oh. My. God.”
She started as Molly hovered over her shoulder.
Christine clicked the mouse, wanting to navigate away from the jeweler’s website, but the young Realtor swatted at her hand.
“You’re making plans,” she said, excitement clear in her tone. “You and Gavin are really getting married. April is the perfect month for a wedding. It’s not hot as an oven yet, and the bluebonnets will be blooming.”
Christine shook her head. “I told you we want a long engagement not—”
“Did you say an April wedding?” Jenna joined them, leaning over the reception desk with wide eyes. “I bet Gavin will have a whole bunch of hot groomsmen.”
“If Gavin’s friends are half as hot as him, it’s going to be the best weekend ever,” Molly said with a laugh. “Christine, you are the luckiest woman on the planet.”
“Why is Christine lucky?”
Jenna whirled around and Molly straightened as Gavin approached the desk. Christine lifted a hand to her cheek, knowing she must be blushing tomato-red. How much had he heard of her coworkers’ ridiculous conversation?
“No reason,” she told him, rising from the chair and straightening the hem of her silk blouse. “What are you doing here?”
“Come on, now.” Molly grabbed Christine’s arms and pushed her around the side of the desk. “Is that any way to greet your future bride? We were just talking about your April wedding. How many groomsmen are you planning to have? I’m just curious, you know?”
Christine squeezed shut her eyes for a quick moment and prayed for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. When everything remained the same, she glanced at Gavin with a shake of her head, mouthing “sorry.”
To her utter shock, he seemed to take the whole situation in stride. He flashed his charming grin at first Molly and then Jenna. “Christine will make a beautiful spring bride.”
The two women practically melted to the carpet even as Christine felt her normally nonexistent temper rise to the surface.
“Molly,” she said with a calm she didn’t feel, “could you watch the phones for a minute? I’d like to talk to Gavin in private.”
“Private,” Molly repeated in a singsong voice. “I know what that’s code for.”
Christine gave her a withering stare. “No. You. Don’t.”
The woman’s smile faded, and she slid into the receptionist’s chair as if a teacher had just reprimanded her. “Take all the time you need,” she said.
Jenna nodded. “I can help, too.”
“Thank you. We’ll be in my office.” She raised an eyebrow in Gavin’s direction, and when he winked, she thought she might feel steam coming out of her ears. She turned and stalked down the hall to her office.
“I like the sound of private,” he said as he closed the door behind them.
“Are you out of your mind?” she demanded through clenched teeth. She wanted to scream the words, but the last thing she needed was Maddie or Valene, who was still in town from the weekend, running in to check on them.
“I don’t think so.” He took a step toward her, but she held up a hand, palm out.
“You let them believe we were getting married in three months.”
Gavin was staring at her left hand, and she quickly pulled it to her side when she realized she was shaking.
“They seemed to be under that impression before I arrived on the scene.”
“It was a mistake,” she whispered, her cheeks growing hot again. “I was trying to correct it. We’re supposed to be having a long engagement. Long enough that it will seem natural when it ends.”
He shrugged. “What does the timing matter? It doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Me, she wanted to shout. This whole thing is hurting me. Killing me.
She drew in a deep breath. She would not break down in front of him. “What’s going on between us?” she asked quietly.
He blinked then said, “We’re friends.”
Oh, gah. The friend zone. Was there anything worse?
“You’re scheduled to return to Denver next week. What happens then?”
She held up her hand, the diamond flashing under the office’s fluorescent lights. “What about this?”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at a spot beyond her shoulder. “I know this thing started as a favor. You helping me out to distract my family.”
She nodded and wished she’d never agreed to any of it.
“But we’ve had a ton of fun these past few weeks. It’s been a blast.”
A blast. A blast right through her heart.
“What are you saying, Gavin?”
He met her gaze then, but she couldn’t read the expression in his eyes. He smiled, all easy charm, and it was like looking at a stranger.
“Austin’s a quick flight to Denver. We can still hang out. Long weekends. Holidays. I come down to Texas often enough.”
“So we’d keep dating?” Christine pressed a hand to her chest. Somehow she thought she’d be overjoyed at his words. He didn’t want their time together to end. But the ache in her heart grew deeper with every passing second.
“That’s the plan. Of course we’d have to deal with the pretend engagement but—”
“You’d be my boyfriend?”
He lifted one hand and massaged the back of his neck. “If you want to put a label on it.”
Her eyes narrowed, and he must have realized that was the wrong answer, because he flashed a sheepish smile. A “getting out of the dog house” smile.
“We spent the night together,” she told him.
“It was wonderful,” he agreed. “When I think about you in my arms, it makes me want—”
“Then you left,” she interrupted, needing to keep this conversation on track. Even if she felt like the two of them were stuck on a runaway train heading for certain disaster. “You rushed out of there like I’d done something wrong.”
“Not you, Christine. Never you.” He shook his head. “But this arrangement started with me asking you to live a lie. I feel like I’ve taken advantage of you, and the fact that we slept together only makes it worse.”
Ouch. Just when she thought the pain couldn’t cut any deeper, Gavin managed it.
“I’ve got my life in Denver,” he continued, running a hand through his hair. “You’re here.”
“A quick flight away,” she muttered, repeating his words.
“I never imagined things would go this way. I care about you, more than I ever thought possible.”
It was difficult to focus on his words over the roaring in her own ears. Christine had spent most of her life feeling like she wasn’t enough. That she shouldn’t expect too much. That scraps of affection or love with conditions placed on them were her lot in life.
Being with Gavin had changed that. She’d changed, and even if it meant losing him, she wasn’t willing to go back to being the doormat she’d been before.
“I love you,” she said quietly and the words felt right on her tongue. Based on the stricken look that crossed Gavin’s face before he schooled his features, he hadn’t been expecting her to say them. She tried for a smile, but it felt as if her cheeks were made of ice. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t even want it to happen.” She managed a hoarse laugh. “You’re kind of irresistible.”
“I’m not,” he immediately countered.
“I wish that were the case,” she told him. “Do you know I’ve
had a crush on you forever?”
He shook his head, his jaw going slack.
“Yeah,” she breathed. “So when you asked me to pose as your girlfriend—and then fiancée—for a few weeks, it was a no-brainer.” She made a fist and gently knocked on the side of her head. “Turns out I should have thought it through a little more. I thought it would be a fun lark, you know? My chance with a guy so far out of my league it’s like we aren’t even playing the same sport.”
“That’s not true,” he whispered.
“Which is exactly my problem,” she admitted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because you made me believe we had a chance. I lost sight of the lark part of things and began to believe what was happening between us was real.”
“Christine, you have to understand—”
“Let me finish, Gavin. I need to say this, and you need to understand it.” She pressed a hand to her hammering heart. “I’m more than I ever believed, and you helped me see that. I wish I could have gotten there on my own, but I’ll be forever grateful for the gift you’ve given me. I know now that I deserve all my hopes and dreams coming true when it comes to love.”
“You do.”
“You deserve to believe in yourself, too.”
He took a step back as if she’d hit him, then gave a startled laugh. “I don’t think my self-esteem was ever in question.”
“There’s more to you than your career and your penchant for hurtling yourself down treacherous mountains or climbing sheer rock faces or any of the other extreme activities you do.”
“I don’t think so,” he said with another hollow laugh. “All that extreme business keeps me pretty busy.”
“You’re a good man.” She ignored his attempt to add levity to their conversation. “You have a big heart and a protective streak a mile long. You’re dedicated and kind—”
“Tell that to the companies that I’ve managed to put out of business for the firm’s clients.”
“You have so much to give if you’d allow yourself to see it. I can imagine you as a husband and a father—”
He held up his hands. “Whoa, there.”
A Deal Made in Texas Page 16