Mom didn’t answer immediately. I could picture the way she would be tilting her head, narrowing her eyes slightly as she considered all the logistics that might involve.
“Well, yes, of course, I think you could, if you want to,” she answered at last. “Dad and I don’t usually take time away from the zoo together, but it’s not impossible.”
I liked the idea of my family being around for Christmas. I’d never had a Christmas season in Salt Lake with all of them.
“Is that something you want?” she asked. “It’s a lot of work, hosting.”
Mom was definitely right. I’d seen her spend hours upon hours in the kitchen getting things ready for Christmas. The idea of cooking a full Christmas dinner was a little daunting but not so much that I didn’t think I could take it on.
“I think I’d like to think about it, yeah,” I decided. “Maybe I’ll email Paisley and see if she’d fly home for it.” Paisley was in Indonesia studying bugs, but it wasn’t as if I couldn’t pay for her flights here and back. If Paisley came, it’d make for a very special Christmas.
Taking another left turn, I gave a small hum. “It’d be pretty cool, I think,” I commented. “Having everyone here. Maybe Jessie, too, if I can convince her to choose our family over hers,” I joked. We’d spent last Christmas together in Salt Lake since it just made it easier, but all we’d done was drink wine and watch Hallmark movies. This would be different.
Mom laughed. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” she informed me. “If Michael Edwards asks me why his daughter won’t come home for Christmas, I want to be able to say that it has nothing to do with me.”
Jessie’s dad wasn’t exactly a friend of my parents: but they all lived in the same place, and obviously, they’d seen a lot of each other when Jessie and I were growing up. They probably bumped into each other sometimes.
“If you decide you want to host, you let us know,” Mom suggested. “And I’ll help as much or as little as you’d like.”
That seemed like a pretty fair offer, so I smiled. “Thanks, mom!” It was definitely something I would have to think about, maybe even talk to Jessie about. If she was going to stay in Salt Lake over Christmas, we might as well plan this together. Or maybe she’d prefer another year of wine and Hallmark movies.
Whichever way that went, I was glad to have her around for those conversations.
“Anyway, I know it’s still months away, but tell me what you’re planning to get everyone for Christmas, since we’re on the topic.” Even if her ideas weren’t concrete yet, it’d be useful to know what they were. Mom seemed to understand that and began telling me about all the things on her list for dad.
By the time I got home, I had a pretty good idea what kind of things I could get my siblings and dad, too. It might still be four months before Christmas, but it was never too early to be prepared!
Chapter Two
Jessie
Walking Felix’s dogs with him was one of my favorite things about living in Salt Lake City. My job was amazing, and the men and women who danced with me had become good friends. But none of them was as good a friend as Felix. He’d known me since I was a kid, had been with me through all the highs and lows my life had offered.
Even when he hadn’t physically been with me, he’d never been further than a phone call away. Living in the same city felt natural, right in a way that living separately never had.
Besides, walking Felix’s four dogs once a week meant I didn’t have to get a pet of my own. I wouldn’t go so far as to consider myself part-owner, but I was, at least, the first in line to babysit any time Felix had to be away.
“I’d love to have your mom come to see the winter show,” I agreed eagerly. “I think it’s going to be a really good one! More accessible than some of the stuff we’ve done.”
“Cool. I mean, I did figure you’d like her to come.” Felix nodded, tugging Jace’s lead a bit closer. “Obviously, I’ll come, too,” he joked, like that was ever a consideration. Even when I’d lived in Texas, Felix had come to my shows. Not as much as he could now, of course, but he’d made a great effort.
Living in the same city made things much easier.
“We also talked about Christmas, do you know what you’re doing yet? I mean, it’s still September, so a bit early.”
Christmas had crossed my mind, what with the winter show preparations, but only briefly. I shrugged. “It will depend on what mom’s doing.” Last year, dad had gone away for Christmas, letting me off the hook in terms of family obligations.
Mom was less likely to go away for the holidays. She and Hannah both lived in Santa Fe and I visited whenever I could. “Why? Don’t you want to spend it with your parents?” Last year, Felix had spent Christmas with me. I couldn’t expect him always to do that.
“Oh, no, I do,” he said, shaking his head. Then he frowned slightly. “Well, it’d be nice. I think maybe I’m old enough not to be sad about not spending Christmas with my parents or whatever.” That actually made a lot of sense to me. Last Christmas, with it just being us, had been one of the best Christmases I remembered ever having. I was sure it was because there was so much less pressure and obligation.
Giving a nod, I waited for Felix to carry on, which he did. “No, I was asking mom if I could host Christmas this year. Have her and dad over, Harley, maybe even see if I can get Paisley back from Indonesia for Christmas. I’m doing the second bedroom up, you know?” Of course, I did know, I’d been the one to paint it!
“So I figured, why not have everyone over. But it’d be cool if you came, too! Not just because you can cook better than me, though, admittedly, I have no idea how successful I’d be at cooking a roast turkey.”
I laughed. Felix’s cooking skills had definitely improved since he’d first moved away from home, but he wasn’t the most adventurous chef. “I’d love to have Christmas with your family!” Felix’s family was no smaller than mine was, but it always felt different hanging out with them. They seemed to understand me in a way that my parents and my brother definitely didn’t.
Hannah, my sister, was the exception. She and I were very different, but we’d each made the effort to learn what the other liked. “I’ll ask mom what she’s doing. She might not want a big family Christmas, anyway. I think she enjoyed being able to do things with her friends last year.”
The way a smile bloomed across Felix’s face? I was determined that I’d find a way to spend Christmas with him and his family. It made my stomach flip so unexpectedly that I had to actually look away, lest I end up blinded by it.
“Awesome! I’ll insist they let me host it then! If I have you on my side, I’ll definitely be able to pull it off,” he rushed to comment. Felix’s excitement seemed to set Pammy off too, as she barked loudly. “Yes! Even the dogs are excited,” Felix confirmed, making me laugh.
He gave me another grin, but I was more ready this time. “Of course, this does mean, I’ll also need to definitely get the second guest bedroom ready for Christmas.” Which spelled a lot more DIY in my future, probably.
“We’ll manage,” I promised. That was one of the greatest things about living so close to Felix: it gave me confidence that between the two of us, we could achieve anything we set our minds to.
Besides, Felix’s family would hardly need the room to be perfect. “What needs doing? A flatpack wardrobe and some new curtains?” I asked. “We don’t need to completely remodel it or anything. How long can it take?”
“A few weekends, I imagine,” Felix shrugged. “Like, I can always get someone else in to do it if it gets too close to Christmas and we still haven’t gotten around to it,” he commented. That was true, Felix earned enough to afford a professional decorator for the whole house if he wanted. But in a way, it was kind of nice that he didn’t, that instead, he asked for my help.
While I had turned down Felix’s offer to live with him when I moved to Salt Lake City - something I didn’t regret doing - I did also spend a lot of time around his
place. It was just easier to hang out there than at my place. Felix’s roommates were all dogs, so there were very few disagreements over who got to use the living room.
Besides, I liked Felix’s house. I’d practically picked it out! And over the years, Felix had done a lot to make it even more comfortable. His family would be happy there, and the thought of all of us spending Christmas together filled me with as much excitement as if I’d still been a kid waiting on a visit from Santa Claus.
“I’m sure we’ll manage,” I repeated. “And we can have a practice run of the meal before they arrive. Maybe have some of the Pumas come over with their girlfriends?”
It was kind of weird, seeing Felix’s formerly-single friends all coupled up. They seemed so happy; I almost felt jealous. A relationship like that was something I was still dreaming of.
“Alfie does eat turkey, right?” I asked.
That made Felix snort but he nodded. “Yeah, just no vegetables,” he joked. Alfie was a notoriously picky eater, but if he wanted plain turkey, we could do that. “But yeah, that’s a great idea, thanks,” Felix smiled and I gave him just as a wide grin back.
“It’s going to be a great time,” he proclaimed. “And by Christmas, we’ll know exactly how to cook a turkey. My mom’s going to be blown away.” The determination in Felix’s tone told me all I needed to know - we definitely would make a great Christmas dinner.
It gave us both something to look forward to. Christmas was a great time of year anyway, but this year, we would make it extra special. I didn’t even mind about the extra gifts I would have to buy. Felix's family all had distinct interests, which made shopping for them a lot of fun.
But for now, we had other things to think about. Like the Pumas’ first game of the season. Knowing that Felix would have extra energy after training with his team, I suggested a race.
He would win, of course. But trying to keep up while not getting tangled in the dog’s leads was enough to keep my mind off Felix and his heart-flipping smiles.
Rehearsals for our winter show were already underway. Being chosen for two different dances was an honor, and one I was very excited about. But the amount of choreography I needed to learn was daunting, too.
“How did you do this last year?” I asked Dana. She’d been with the company one year longer than I had, and she’d taken me under her wing when I arrived. “Didn’t you ever worry you’d dance the steps for one routine in the other performance?”
“Oh, I did,” she answered easily, but that hardly helped the anxiety sweeping through me. Dana did laugh, though, which was a little more encouraging. “Just focus on the music, I guess,” she advised. “You know the beats, right? Once your brain has practiced it as much as we’re going to, it’s pretty easy.”
Okay, that could work. It was more about the confidence, I supposed. And the first few days were hardly going to give me confidence, but once I had the steps down, things would feel easier.
“The most important thing,” she advised, almost conspiratorial, “is to make sure Edwina doesn’t accuse you of not practicing enough over summer.” She joked, but it was definitely also a warning. Edwina was our head choreographer and she did not stand for laziness.
I had practiced a lot, but even so, there was room for improvement. Having a best friend who essentially took the whole summer off work wasn’t the greatest for my work ethic. Not that Felix had stopped me rehearsing. He’d never do anything to undermine my success. It was just that I wanted to be enjoying the summer with him and it was hard to turn down his invitations so that I could practice.
“I’ll do my best,” I promised. “It should help that I really love the choreography.” Edwina could be tough, but she was amazing at her job. “Are you sad you’re only in one dance this time?” Dana had a bigger part than I did in the one dance she was involved in, so I doubted that she was jealous of my position.
Dana shook her head in response. “There’s still plenty of backup choreography I am involved in,” she pointed out. “Now those are much trickier to not mix up with other things.” And sure, that I also knew, since there was a long part of my career where I had only danced the backup. It was pretty cool to now be able to lead on occasion.
“How was your summer, by the way?” Dana asked, sitting down on the floor for a stretch. “You don’t stay in Salt Lake over summers, do you?”
I joined her, pressing my back up against the wall for support as I stretched my legs out in front of me. “Not usually. I love it here, but it’s nice to get away, you know?” Dana nodded. Like me, she was single. I knew she did some traveling when we got a break from work.
“Felix always has the summer off. Usually, we drive somewhere together, take the dogs out to a cabin or a cottage - somewhere with lots of land they can run around in.”
“It’s cool how close you and Felix are,” Dana commented. She’d met him, of course. Most people I was friends with had, since Felix came to watch the shows sometimes and to the afterparties when we finished.
Leaning forward, Dana stretched her leg out and I could see she was thinking about something. “You remember Matt? Who I dated last year?” she asked. It made me think for a moment before giving a nod. Matt and Dana hadn’t dated for very long, but when they had been dating he’d sent her a lot of flowers. “Well, he asked me if I wanted to be friends with him. And I said yes, because we got on so well. I’ve never been friends with an ex, though.”
It was hard for me to imagine, being friends with an ex. Most of mine lived a state or more away from me, so I didn’t see much of them. I would have liked to say that friendship and romantic feelings were very different things.
But that wasn’t entirely true. I’d had a crush on Felix since high school. Even though I didn’t want to risk us losing our friendship over it, I knew how the two feelings could bleed into one another.
“Do you want to be friends with Matt?” I asked.
From the way Dana hesitated, I wasn’t sure where her answer was going to go. But then, almost a little surprisingly, she nodded her head. “Yeah. It’s... different, sure. But we dated because we got on so well, you know?” And I nodded. Everyone I had dated was someone I had had things in common with. Whether not enough or too much it was hard to tell, but none of those relationships had worked out.
“I know Felix is your friend and you’ve never dated each other but... is that sometimes weird? At least when one of you is also dating someone else? I think it might be weird if Matt started dating someone new.”
I reached forward, catching my toes in one hand to stretch the muscle in my calf. It had the effect of dipping my head down, where Dana couldn’t see my expression. Not fully, anyway.
Thinking back on Felix’s girlfriends, I winced. He hadn’t had many, and none of them had lasted for very long. I’d always done my best to act like it wasn’t weird.
“It’s a bit weird,” I admitted. “Like a mix of feeling jealous and feeling protective. Felix is my best friend. I want him to be happy. But I don’t know if I trust anyone else to be good enough for him.”
Dana hummed in response, but it didn’t really tell me if she got what I meant. Jealousy wasn’t really the sort of thing a best friend was meant to feel towards their friend’s girlfriends. Thankfully, Dana seemed to be too distracted by her own thoughts to ask me more.
“I mean, Matt might not date anyone straight away. Maybe by the time he does, it won’t feel weird,” she pondered. “No way to find out but to try.” And that was certainly true. But still, I did make a mental note to ask Dana about it again at a later date.
“Anyway,” she said, shaking her head, effectively concluding the conversation about Matt. And, hopefully, also concluding the conversation about Felix. “Did you hear that Rachel and Adam had a summer fling?” Dana asked, turning my exhale of relief into a gasp
Laughing, Dana nodded. “Yup.”
It wasn’t uncommon for dancers to date. We did spend more time together than we did with anyone else. But e
ven so, Rachel and Adam hadn’t been a pair I had imagined together.
“But they’re so different!”
Dana laughed, probably at my surprise. She had always said there was chemistry between the two of them, even if I hadn’t been able to see it.
“Tell me everything,” I urged. Before Dana could, Edwina clapped her hands, making us rush to our feet to be in position before she started the count.
Dana could tell me all about Adam and Rachel later. For now, I needed to focus on not giving Edwina any reason to criticize my work ethic.
Chapter Three
Felix
Before I knew it, training camp was all wrapped up. It felt good being back on the ice with the team. Training in summers just never felt the same as it did skating together with everyone. Our first official game had been the day before and we kicked off the season with a nice victory against the Madison Howlers, winning on home ice.
We were playing again in a couple of days, but because of how the scheduling fell, Luke had suggested we have our start of season party now. He was hosting, of course. The duties of a captain definitely involved having at least a few team parties a year!
Partners were welcome, even if pets weren’t. Luke insisted it was just too many dogs if everyone brought theirs, but we all knew that was only because I had four. Still, I couldn’t complain too much. Whenever Luke organized something smaller, he did let me bring my little canine army.
Besides, it wasn’t like I was going on my own.
“Are you any closer to being ready?” I called out to Jessie. She wasn’t my partner in the romantic sense, sure, but Jessie still got to come to parties with me. She’d done so since we were teenagers, I was hardly going to change that now.
Walking upstairs to the bathroom, I knocked against the door. “Jessie? How is this taking so long?” Except it always did and yet, I was always surprised.
“My hair doesn’t just happen, you know,” was Jessie’s retort. She kept her hair shorter than most of the Pumas’ girlfriends. I had asked once why it still took her so long to brush it. That wasn’t a mistake I’d make again.
Friend Locked (Salt Lake Pumas) Page 2