Soul Fire

by Aprille Legacy

  ~Chapter Seventeen~

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

  We finished cleaning the swords in silence, and then I headed back up to the dorms to have a shower. To my dismay, I ran into Dustin on the way up the stairs.

  “Hello,” he started brightly, but then he frowned when he saw that I was all sweaty. “What’ve you been doing?”

  “Running,” I lied immediately. “Went for a little run around the castle.”

  He accepted it without question, but he’d also noticed Morri, whom he was yet to meet.

  “Who’s this little guy?” he asked, reached forwards for the bird, but Morri shrieked an ear splitting screech and flew up towards the rafters.

  “Sorry,” I apologized. “He doesn’t do so well with new people.”

  “Fair enough,” he replied, tucking his hand back into his pocket. “How long have you had him?”

  “He adopted me a few days ago,” I held my arm out so that Morri could land on it, though he immediately crawled up my arm and under my ponytail where Dustin couldn’t reach him. “Since then I’ve been his pet.”

  “Right,” Dustin rocked on his heels. “So how’ve you been?”

  “Um, alright,” I could see my door past Dustin’s shoulder. “Look, I’m all sweaty. I was on my way to have a shower.”

  “Oh right, sure,” to my relief, he didn’t offer to help me shower. “Hey, why don’t you come by afterwards?”

  “Sure,” I said before I could stop myself. “See you in a bit.”

  I more or less shoved past him and made it to my room. As I collected up my towel and shampoo, I cursed myself over and over again.

  There was no phoenix feather or charm pin on my pillow. I half-heartedly hunted around my room for a gift, but there was nothing. I sat down on my bed with a sigh.

  I really shouldn’t be pursuing him, I thought sadly. He’s with Eleanora and I’m with Dustin. Maybe I should work harder at remembering that.

  I showered, deliberately taking my time. Morri perched on top of the stall, getting his feathers soggy in the steam.

  “You’re the only boy I’m letting watch me shower,” I told him as I dried off. My face reddened as I thought of Phoenix, but then I pushed him away and tried to replace him with Dustin. My mind shoved that away all on its own. 

  I dressed in my pyjamas and then padded down towards the boys’ dormitories. I then realised I had no idea which door was his. I was saved knocking on everyone’s door when Ispin emerged from his room and stopped dead at the sight of me standing in the corridor. I quickly asked him about the room I was looking for, and he pointed at a door wordlessly.

  I knocked on the door, and waited. It was flung open almost straight away by Dustin, hope shining in his eyes.

  “I didn’t think you were coming,” he said, letting me in.

  “Sorry, I had a long shower,” I replied, gesturing to my damp hair. “The water was nice.”

  I sat on his bed, looking around. It was definitely a boy’s room. It was a carbon copy of mine, except it smelt like deodorant and sweat. Clothes had been bundled up on the end of his bed and were draped over his table. I found it strangely comforting, for this was what my old bedroom back in Ar Cena had looked like.

  “Sorry for the mess,” he said, seeing me look around. 

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, smiling, and then realised conversation was going to be very strained.

  “How’ve you been?” he asked, echoing himself from the stairs.

  “Alright,” I replied. “You know, the usual, homework, classes, and friends.”

  “Sounds like you guys had a nice trip to Riverdoor,” he said, sitting next to me.

  If you can call it that, I thought, but then forced a smile across my face.

  “It wasn’t bad,” I alluded. “It was nice to meet Petre’s family.”

  He smiled back but then slumped.

  “I wish you would’ve asked me,” he mumbled.

  “I’m sorry,” I said immediately, feeling terrible. “There was a bit of a family emergency, none of us were thinking clearly.”

  He just nodded, and I felt like rolling my eyes. Did he think himself more important than Petre’s little brother being taken? Anger flushed under my skin and I had to work to calm myself down again.

  We chatted for a little longer, but I think both of us were quickly realising that our relationship was dead. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but I suspected it had been the Riverdoor trip. I’d had a few days away from him, and had felt free, unrestrained. Heck, I hadn’t even thought of him until Dena brought it up.

  I fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to find the right words to begin what I wanted to say. I opened my mouth, still unsure of what was going to come out.

  “Don’t,” he pleaded suddenly. “Please don’t do what you’re about to do.”

  Ice shot through my veins.

  “I’m sorry,” I heard myself say. “But, Dustin, you can feel it too, can’t you? You know that this is the-“

  “Don’t say ‘the end’,” he got up and paced to the other side of the room. “How about a break? For a week? You might feel differently then.”

  I highly doubted it, but I felt myself nod curtly. One more week, and then it would be over.

  “Alright,” I murmured. “But, Dustin, I don’t think-“

  “Please,” he came back over to me and pulled me to my feet. “One week to think about it.”

  He kissed me before I could stop him. He was comfortable and familiar but there was no flame there anymore. I suddenly wondered what kissing Phoenix would be like...

  I broke away from him. I wasn’t about to look him in the eye.

  “I’ll see you in a week,” I mumbled, and then hurried out of his room and to my own.

  I slumped onto my bed, Morri perching on my bed head, peeping every now and then. I hugged my knees to my chest, feeling like I was going to burst. Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks. I felt absolutely awful. Why couldn’t I like Dustin? I had in the beginning, I knew it. It was new and exciting, I thought about him as I went to sleep and day dreamed about him. But now all I felt towards him was annoyance and frustration.

  Why do you have to be so clingy? I wondered angrily, though more tears gathered and overflowed. Why do you have to make this so difficult?

  I cried into the night, because I knew I was going to hurt him and I didn’t like being that type of girl. I’d seen them back at my old high school, the girls who would flirt and lead a guy on and then just toss them aside like rubbish.

  Was I that type of girl? The thought brought on a fresh wave of tears. I needed someone to talk to desperately. Though the night was slowly beginning to bleed to the cobalt hue of midnight, I padded down the hall to Dena’s room. I knocked quickly, hoping I wouldn’t wake her up.

  She opened the door a few seconds later, in her pyjamas, but she’d been reading; she still had her glasses on.

  “Sky, what’s wrong?” She pulled me into her room and sat me on her bed. “What is it?”

  I told her everything quickly, about how Dustin didn’t want the relationship to end but I was done, I was done and he was dragging it out for another week. I cried a lot, and was furiously embarrassed about it but Dena just kept fetching me tissues and hugging me around the shoulders.

  Was this what it was like to have a best friend?

  “Am I a horrible person?” I asked finally, sniffling.

  “No,” she said without hesitation. “This is completely normal. Some people just fall in and out of like. It just means you’re not meant to be.”

  “Ok,” her words were like balm to my wounded heart. “I mean, there were some girls at my school who just casually strung boys along and then just ditched them without a second thought. I don’t want to be like that.”

  “I know,” she said, patting my shoulders. “And
hey, look how upset you are! At least it shows you care.”

  She was right. I bet the girls at my school didn’t feel as wretched as I did right now.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled, throat still swollen.

  “Don’t think twice about it,” she replied. “Now, how about you try to get some sleep? It’s late and we have class tomorrow.”

  I headed back to my room and crawled into my bed. Morri perched on my statue’s head, rearranging his feathers. I thought that after all my emotional turmoil going to sleep would be difficult, but the moment my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

  The next few days were strange. I felt like I was in limbo, and despite Dena’s comforting words, I still felt awful about the situation. I threw myself into my studies to try to forget about it, and as a result quickly became more powerful than any of the other students.

  We continued hand to hand combat and soon I could throw even Petre and Ispin, who was surprisingly strong. Theory remained only slightly interesting, until one afternoon Watt taught us something that stuck in my mind for a long time. It was a Tuesday, and theory was the last lesson of the day. I was bitterly wondering what would be on offer in the mess hall for dinner when I began to pay attention to what she was saying.

  “One thing a mage cannot live without is their magic; the only way to kill a mage is to drain him of magic. However, magic can also be restored by an act of true love.”

  Many of the guys in the class snorted, and so did I.

  “Well, it has yet to be recorded,” Watt relented. “I’m yet to see a mage revived by love, but the fact remains that the legends tell it, and the legends are based on truth.”

  That night I wandered sadly up to my room, mulling over what she had said. It didn’t really matter much to me, it was just the last thing I’d heard and it was rolling around my head like a song on replay. When I got to my empty room I changed from my uniform and then headed to the stables. They had become my sanctuary, where I could dream and think.

  Echo greeted me the same as ever; as a treat carrier. I’d remembered to snag her some carrots on the way and she wolfed them down as I handed them to her. I let myself into her stall and began grooming her, though one of the Academy’s stable hands already had that day. I pulled the brush over her glossy coat and patiently worked out every little tangle in her mane and tail. By the time I had finished, I’d worked my horse into a stupor. I sat down in the straw like I did every day, trying not to fall asleep. I did though, but I was woken by someone coming into the stables.

  Please don’t be Dustin, I pleaded silently. Please oh please don’t be him.

  I stood up, peering through the bars of Echo’s stall to the next one, and saw Phoenix coming up the middle aisle. He stopped dead when he saw me peering through the bars.

  “Sky? What are you doing here?”

  “Giving Echo some love and attention,” I replied carefully. He continued past me to Validus’ stall. “What are you doing here?”

  “Virtually the same thing,” he answered, letting his horse pick sugar cubes out of his hand. “How are… things?”

  I looked up at him curiously. Was he trying to pick up a conversation?

  “Alright,” I lied. I noticed that he was looking all over the stable for something. “Have you lost something?” I asked.

  “No no, I was just… looking around.” He replied, and I raised an eyebrow at the obvious lie. He was a terrible liar. I told him so.

  “Alright,” he rubbed his horse’s nose. “I was looking for the stable boy.”

  “I think he’s out the back. Do you want me to call him?”

  “No! No, it’s alright,” he was acting very strangely. “I was just wondering if he was… here.”

  He looked at me as though he wanted to say something more, but then he shoved his hands in his pockets and strode past me. When he got to the door, he turned back and opened his mouth, but then thought better of what he was going to say and strode out of the door. I shook my head, utterly confused. I’d almost forgotten about Dustin and all of that unpleasantness.