I looked for Van by the bar, but I couldn’t see her—she’d been chatting up that one tall bartender when Parker and I had left to go to the manager’s office, but now she wasn’t over there.
It took me a moment, but as I moved on to scan the dance floor, I saw her. She was wrapped all up with another guy, the two of them dancing in a way that was… well, I wasn’t sure if they were dancing or having sex, to be honest. It could’ve easily been either. Not that I could judge, with how I’d been dancing with Parker earlier and the actual sex I’d just had in the manager’s office.
“Found Van!” I yelled into Parker’s ear, taking his hand and leading him out onto the dance floor. Parker nodded, following me easily, and that gave me a little thrill in my stomach—the idea of him just going where I led him.
Van grinned as she saw us, pulling away from her guy to hug me. “Where have you been!?” she demanded, her voice loud in my ear as she shouted to be heard over the music.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I replied. I was going to tell her, of course I was. I could never keep a secret from Van. But there was no way I was going to try and tell her this story in front of Parker, or on this crazy dance floor where I’d have to shout.
Van rolled her eyes at me, smirking knowingly, but then her guy grabbed her again and she focused in on him.
Parker took my hand, twirling me, and I laughed, feeling the residual high of my orgasm. Before, he’d been long on asshole and short on sweet, but now he was nothing but considerate. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering which was the real Parker. The person I had loved and admired for so long? Or the person who’d abandoned me without a word? The man who was dancing with me now? Or the man who had been so easily annoyed with me at the start?
I tried to shove those thoughts out of my mind and just dance with Parker, have fun, enjoy my time off. And for a short bit, it definitely worked. It was hard to think about, well, anything out on the dance floor. The music was loud, thumping through the entire building, your entire body, and you always had to be on the lookout for the other bodies around you so that you didn’t accidentally hit someone or get crushed.
We danced through a few songs, not quite as sexual as before. We’d gotten a release from that tension and anticipation, and now it was more about… just wanting to touch. To be close.
Those were dangerous thoughts, too. I was having a lot of those tonight.
Parker spun me and then pulled me into him, chest to chest. “You look a little worn out,” he murmured in my ear, sounding fond.
Now that he mentioned it, I was feeling kind of tired. I nodded. “I think it might be time to call it a night.” Between all the dancing and then the sex… once I probably could’ve done this for another couple of hours, but I wasn’t a teenager anymore, and my job and kid both wore me out.
Ack, my kid. I wanted to actually get back and see her. I knew that there were parents out there who wanted to get away from their kid, who wanted to escape them, but even though I did need a break from Ally sometimes, I loved her. I didn’t want to be away from her for too long. She’d probably be in bed by now—or at least I hoped she was, so that her entire sleep schedule wasn’t thrown off—but I still just wanted to check in on her and see her sleeping.
“Where’s Van?” Parker asked, looking around for her. It was nice that he was keeping an eye on her, too, even though I was clearly his top priority.
It took me a minute but I spotted her, still with that same guy. They looked like they’d been making out, some of Van’s lipstick on his mouth and both of their lips slick and swollen.
Parker maneuvered us over to her without causing any problems with the dancing. “Hey, I’m losing steam,” I admitted to her. “I think Parker’s going to take me back.”
“I’ll go with you.” Van grabbed the guy and mimed writing. “You got a pen?”
He nodded, pulling a marker out of his pocket, and Van wrote her phone number on the inside of his arm with a wink. “Call me!”
Handing him back his pen, Van let me grab her and lead her out of the dance floor, Parker ahead of me, clearing a path. He was taller than almost everyone, and broad-shouldered, so it wasn’t all that hard to follow in his wake and keep from getting jostled.
“Did you see that guy!?” Van gushed as we grabbed our purses. “Oh my God. So sexy. I can’t wait to see if he’ll call me. I’ll drive down just for that.”
“What about the bartender?” I pointed out.
“Oh, don’t worry, I already gave him my number earlier.” Van winked at me. “Unlike you, I know how to grab a man when he’s interested in me.”
I lowered my voice. “Is that a jab about Parker?” I hissed.
“Maybe.” Van might’ve been about to say something else, but then Parker was leading us out of the club and back out onto the street.
I definitely couldn’t have this conversation where he might hear it. No way, no how. Van and Lucas were the only two people who knew that Parker was Ally’s parent—after all, Van had been the only one to know that Parker and I were a thing, before Parker left. I’d only told Lucas and my parents after I’d found out I was pregnant, and I’d realized I had no choice but to come clean about the whole thing.
Van and Lucas had always been understanding about the whole thing, but I had no doubt that she would push me to try and tell Parker the truth and go for a real relationship with him. And how could I do that? How could I possibly when he had left the first time?
I couldn’t resist him, though. At least not sexually. Could I limit our relationship just to sex? Surely, I could manage that. It would keep the volcano from exploding, so to speak. Release some pressure every so often. It would be fine.
I was playing a dangerous game, but damn it, it wasn’t the first time I’d taken a risk in my life. I could do this. It was all going to be fine.
25
Parker
I woke up with a warmth in my chest that I hadn’t felt in ages. Possibly since I’d first left Rehoboth. The only thing that could possibly make it better would be to wake up with Emma in my arms, but I’m willing to be patient about that. I can hold out. And I probably deserve to do some work to keep earning her trust, given how I just left. She’s clearly still torn up about that.
And then there’s the whole part about Ally’s dad. If he’s still in the picture in some way, we’ll have to talk about that before we move forward on any relationship.
But!
Emma went out of her way to have sex with me last night. I stretched out in bed, a huge, helpless grin on my face. She engineered an entire crazy scheme just to get us a private spot where we could fuck. And boy howdy, was that a fucking. I hadn’t been so mindless in… ever. I couldn’t think of another time when I’d so completely lost my head while fucking someone. Except the first time I’d been with Emma.
Yeah, I’d really lost my mind then, too. Letting myself sleep with a girl when I hadn’t even bought her dinner first. And for Emma’s first time having sex, ever? I still sometimes couldn’t believe what I had been thinking—but then I remembered last night and oh, yeah, I wasn’t thinking at all. I was just completely wrapped up in her. Only Emma, it seemed, could make me lose my mind like that.
Y’know what? We should all go out for breakfast. Or brunch. I wasn’t sure what time it was. But Lucas and Van had spent the night, and we should all go out and have a delicious meal. My treat.
I got up out of bed and just about tore my closet apart trying to find the right outfit. Okay, so I wanted to impress Emma a bit. So fucking what? We were finally moving forward. Now that she was admitting (in her behavior even if not quite yet in her words) that she wanted me, I wanted to celebrate. Soon as I could, I wanted to talk to her about the next step. I wanted us to be a couple, properly. The only person I’d ever really wanted was her. I was sure that I could make up for whatever mistakes I’d made in the past.
Emma and Lucas didn’t seem all that tired when I emerged to knock quietly on their doors
to wake them up. When I explained my idea of going out to breakfast, they agreed readily—and Ally, when she woke up, was delighted. “I want bacon!” she announced, first thing.
“You can have bacon,” Emma promised her. “But only if you make your bed and get dressed.
Ally hurried to comply while Emma went to wake up Van, who apparently had a bit of a hangover.
I was worried that it would take a while for everyone to get their things together, but we were off and to my favorite diner in no time at all. It was this place that Ash and I had found after another long night, and it had fantastic breakfast food. Great for a hangover, too, so Van should be happy.
The five of us got a booth in the corner, thankfully, so we didn’t have to squeeze too much into one of the smaller ones, and we ordered. Van got a water and immediately pressed it to her forehead, groaning in relief.
“That’s what you get for having so many shots yesterday,” Emma pointed out mercilessly.
I hid my grin behind my menu. I wasn’t sure if it was because she’d wanted to get with me, or because she just hadn’t wanted to be hungover today while having to be a mom, but Emma had only had a couple drinks last night, nothing too crazy.
I never would’ve had sex with her, actually, if she’d been drunk. Not only because it just wasn’t classy but because if she had been, she could deny everything this morning. Say that she was just drunk and that now, sober, she wouldn’t do anything like that. She could try and write off whatever this was between us. But no—she’d been sober. She’d known what she was doing, and so had I.
God, I couldn’t fucking wait to get her alone to talk about this. This was the start of something serious. I wanted to be a part of her life. I wanted to be hers, and I wanted her to be mine. All of the jealousy and confusion I’d been feeling over the last few weeks was gone, replaced by certainty and hope.
“Mama?” Ally asked, as Van continued to gripe, “what does a hangover mean?”
Lucas laughed. “It’s when Van hangs her head into the toilet and throws up.”
The look that Van gave him was murderous. Ally burst out into laughter.
“Food’s here!” Emma said, interrupting what was sure to be an epic verbal battle between Van and Lucas, and I helped pass the plates around from the waitress.
Emma started cutting up Ally’s bacon for her, while Ally just about bounced in her seat from excitement. I grinned. I’d always loved bacon ever since I was a kid, and one time in high school Lucas had dared me to eat an entire one-pound thing of it.
I’d regretted that later, for sure, but man it had tasted good.
As if he’d been reading my mind, Lucas said, “Hey, speaking of throwing up, remember the time that I dared you to eat all of that bacon?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t bring that up,” I laughed. “I’d never felt so awful in my life.”
“You like bacon too?” Ally asked me, her eyes shining.
“I sure do.”
“You two were always getting up to crazy, stupid stuff like that in high school,” Emma pointed out. “Your uncle Lucas and Parker here were very silly people,” she added to Ally, who grinned at us.
“Maybe when you’re older we’ll tell you all of the stories,” I told her.
“Why not now?”
“Because when you’re older you’ll know better than to do the things we did,” I replied.
Actually it was because most of those stories weren’t appropriate for a kid of her age to be hearing. A lot of them involved doing stupid dares while Lucas and I were tipsy from beer we’d snuck out of his parents’ fridge, or they involved misusing the construction equipment that Lucas’ dad used in his work, and I didn’t want to give Ally any bad ideas. And that wasn’t even touching the stories that involved the nonsense we got up to at all the high school parties Lucas and I went to. Poor Emma, having to deal with all of our stupid teenage nonsense.
“Your mom was a saint for putting up with us,” I said to Ally. “She was more patient than we deserved.”
“We’re lucky we didn’t end up in the hospital with some of the stunts we were pulling,” Lucas mumbled around a mouthful of scrambled eggs.
Emma smiled ruefully. “Oh, trust me, I remember yelling at you two a lot.”
“Good old Emma, always the logical one, with her nose in a book.”
“Your mom was a huge bookworm growing up,” I explained to Ally. “You get all of your smarts from her.”
Perhaps that was unfair to say, since I didn’t know who Ally’s dad was, but as far as I knew he wasn’t around so why shouldn’t I praise Emma?
Emma gave me a glance across the table, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. I grinned and winked at her. Emma looked away quickly, helping Ally with her pancakes, but I was sure I could see her cheeks getting a little pink.
I couldn’t have wiped my fucking grin off for the world.
Couldn’t my life always be like this? The five of us hanging out like we were a family? Van and Lucas were arguing again but there was no real bite to it, partially because of Ally, I was sure, but also partially because I doubted Van could handle arguing (or thinking) with her hangover. Emma was being patient and devoted to Ally, who was patiently waiting to eat her food, and just… all of it was perfect. I wanted to have this all the time. I wanted not just a family, but this family. The one I’d left behind.
Now, I had hope that they wanted me back.
It was a good thing that the diner didn’t seem to be too busy, because we definitely hung out there for a lot longer than we should have. Luckily the servers didn’t seem to mind. Lucas told kid-appropriate stories of the shenanigans he and I would get up to, Van talked about her work, and I explained how I ran out of the bedroom with a baseball bat and that was how I’d met Ally.
“He’s so silly,” Ally said, grinning at me like we were sharing a secret.
“It was far from an auspicious beginning,” Emma noted.
“But you magnanimously forgave me,” I pointed out, winking at her.
Emma tried to glare at me, but it wasn’t working. My grin only grew. She did like me, I knew it. I couldn’t wait to see what the rest of the day—what the next few days—would hold for us.
“Hey, I’ve had one night stands that went way worse than that,” Van pointed out, carefully sipping on her third glass of water. “One of them talked in Russian in his sleep. He couldn’t speak Russian when he was awake. Another one hid in my closet for no reason.”
“Van needs better boyfriends,” Ally told me. She was obviously trying to whisper, but she was still loud enough for all of us to hear her.
I nodded solemnly. “Oh, definitely.”
“Uncle Lucas hates all of Van’s boyfriends.”
“Oh no.” Emma groaned. “Please don’t get them started.”
“It’s not my fault she has bad taste!” Lucas protested.
“I have bad taste!? Let’s talk about some of your choices in women for a minute, sir…”
Emma winced. “Hey,” I told her, “at least you’re not enduring the two of them by yourself anymore?”
“Some help you are,” she retorted, but she was smiling at me.
We finally wrapped up breakfast and Van and Lucas announced it was time for them to get on the road. “We want to actually be back in Rehoboth before dark,” Lucas said. “And somebody here refuses to let me drive.”
“That’s because you think speed limits are suggestions,” Van cut in.
“You drive like a blind grandma who has a casserole dish sitting her in front passenger seat.”
“I drive safely!”
I shook my head. Those two were never going to stop bickering. It must’ve been amusing, sure, but also frustrating for Emma to have to deal with the two of them just by herself all these years. Luckily she didn’t have to do that anymore. I had every intention of being there for the remaining rest of the way.
Van and Lucas hugged Ally and Emma. Lucas hugged me, too—Van didn’
t, but she gave me an encouraging wink as they headed out. Fair enough, since I was pretty sure Emma had told Van about her and I being together. Having to pick up the pieces of your best friend’s heart wouldn’t exactly endear you to the guy who did that, even if it wasn’t my intention.
The two of them continued to bicker as they headed out, and I shook my head, grinning. “Shall we get on back to our place?”
Our place. The three of us. Fuck, I wanted that to be true so badly. I wanted it to be a home that was equally all of ours.
The moment we got back to the apartment, Emma crouched down and sniffed at Ally, pulling an exaggerated face. “Ew, phew! Somebody stinks!”
Ally giggled. “Mama, I smell fine!”
“Nope, you definitely stink.” Emma nodded emphatically. “I think it’s time for a bath! C’mere!”
She scooped Ally up, and Ally began giggling uncontrollably, letting herself be carried into the bathroom. The door shut behind them, and as it did, I found myself feeling left out again.
I swallowed that feeling down. It would go away soon enough, once I’d had a chance to talk to Emma about our relationship. It was just instinct to feel left out at this point, that was all. To be envious of being left out of bath time, of all things? How childish could I possibly get?
I located my book and sat back down in my chair by the window, getting comfortable. It would be relaxing to read for a bit. After the crazy time I’d had last night, I could use a bit of peace and quiet.
I wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed, but a little while later I heard the pitter-patter of little feet, and then Ally was flinging herself into my lap. “Parker!”
Moving my book out of the way, I grinned down at her. “Hey, Alley-Cat. What’s all the fuss? You smell nice and clean now!”
Her hair was a bit damp but neatly combed, and she was glowing from her bath. She was fucking adorable. “I want you to give me a story!”
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