A family of four chose that moment to come bustling into the lobby, a girl and boy not far off in age from Lily herself. The parents headed to Reception while the two kids laughed their way out of the big glass doors and kicked off a snowball fight just outside.
Lily watched them through the glass, the wistful look in her eye tugging at Sophia’s heartstrings.
They moved off soon enough, a car rolling in to take them away, but that look was still in Lily’s eye, her hand now pressed up against the glass as she stared out at the stark white landscape.
Sophia looked back to Jack, still pacing, and told herself to grow a pair. This was Lily’s birthday trip; she should be more important than some business call. But then, what did she know about running a corporate empire? The leisure industry was bad enough. Maybe this was the way of things for him. It wasn’t as if the business world stopped just because he was on holiday. And it was a Thursday after all, hardly the weekend.
‘Okay, Lily, let’s go play while we wait for your father.’ She offered out a hand to her, which she took, her smile worth every nervous flutter.
Jack quit pacing. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Just out front; we can make a snowman while you finish your call.’ She smiled down at Lily encouragingly. ‘What do you reckon? Can we make one that looks like Daddy?’
Lily laughed. ‘Yes!’
Jack wasn’t smiling though. When she looked back to him his scowl seemed less about the call and more her suggestion.
‘Don’t worry; we’ll be flattering,’ she said, trying to lighten the sudden darkness in the room.
‘I’d rather you stayed here.’
Sophia frowned. Seconds ago, she’d been convinced he was concerned for her, and how she’d feel playing out in the snow with a small child, and without him. But now...
Then she remembered the time on Samantha’s doorstep when he’d told her with no hesitation that he wouldn’t leave Lily at the party, how clear he’d been about not trusting her with just ‘anyone,’ and the reason he too had joined Lily for her sleepover ultimately.
But it couldn’t be that now? Not after all they had shared, all that had happened between them. He had to trust her...didn’t he?
‘Please, Daddy.’
He looked to Sophia for backup, but she was too flummoxed and upset and confused, trying to convince herself it was because he was worried about her, even though she knew deep down it wasn’t. Maybe it had been initially, but not now.
‘We can stay just the other side of the glass,’ she offered quietly, ignoring the way her skin now prickled, not with her phobia of the snow—or worse, being responsible for a child in the snow—but with his mistrust of her.
He looked from them to the glass and back again, his frown lifting a little. ‘Okay—just keep where I can see you, agreed?’
‘Agreed,’ she said, now feeling like a child herself, anger sparking. She tugged Lily’s hand gently, her death stare for him alone, not that he seemed to notice as his attention shifted back to the phone. ‘Come on, birthday girl, let’s go and have some fun.’
They went outside and she did as she’d promised, kept them close to the glass as they rolled the snow and built their man. With his bulbous belly and a Sophia-fist-sized punch hole for his mouth, two beady rocks for his eyes and a thin stone for his nose.
Lily stood back and laughed. ‘It doesn’t look much like Daddy, does it?’
Sophia had half a mind to storm back inside and pull his scarf off him just to wrap it around his icy counterpart and complete the look.
Still, in her anger, she’d forgotten all about her own trepidation...
Lily looked through the glass to where her father was pacing again, his scowl still present, his hand caught halfway through his hair. Sophia checked her watch. At this rate it would be dark before they even started their tour and whilst they would still hopefully get a glimpse of the northern lights when the sun disappeared, she’d like to see the waterfalls and the black sand beach in daylight.
She gave him a look through the glass, one which she hoped said, Don’t forget whose birthday it is, and tapped her wrist, indicating the time. He grimaced and looked at his own, turning away a second to say something down the phone and then he cut the call and strode for the exit.
‘Here he comes,’ Sophia said, her hands falling to Lily’s shoulders as she turned her to face the door and her father now coming through it.
‘I’m so sorry, birthday girl.’ He raced up to her and swung her up in the air. ‘You ready?’
‘Yes!’ she squealed, her legs kicking excitedly and sending snow flying from her feet.
Sophia smiled at the heart-warming scene, her anger falling away as quickly as it had come. ‘First you need to see our snow Daddy.’
Payback...
He looked at the snowman and back at her, slowly sliding Lily down his front until her feet were back on the ground.
‘It’s you, Daddy.’
‘Me?’ His eyes flitted from it, to Lily, to Sophia. ‘And you think it’s a true likeness?’
She eyed him as she pretended to consider both him and their creation. ‘Seems pretty good, if you ask me.’
Lily laughed and Sophia grinned up at him. ‘If only you’d been able to help, then maybe he’d have been a little less...portly.’
‘Is that so?’ he said, his eyes twinkling. ‘I only have myself to blame then.’
‘Precisely. Now, don’t dilly-dally; the car has been waiting long enough.’
She turned on her heel and made her way to the slick chauffeur-driven four-by-four hired to navigate the tricky Icelandic terrain, leaving them to enjoy the view.
She knew he was watching her, and felt that kick of admiration in his gaze before she’d looked away. He liked that she stood up to him. Maybe he’d therefore welcome the idea already setting up camp in her brain that he should switch the pesky little mobile off.
‘I really like Sphea, Daddy. Like really, really like her.’
Lily’s words reached her and her lips quirked up, her heart fluttering in her chest. I really, really like you too, kiddo.
She couldn’t hear Jack’s response as the driver greeted her, opening up the rear door for her to climb in, but she hoped Jack’s had been close to a ditto at least.
She settled into the back seat, watching them as they headed towards her, Jack’s eyes locking with hers, assessing, searching. Was he looking for the anger he must have spied in her earlier?
She softened her gaze with a smile, which he readily returned. Fact was, she’d been mad—she was still mad when she thought on it—but she couldn’t stay mad at him.
They got in beside her, Lily taking up the seat by the window so that she could enjoy every second of the passing landscape, which put Jack alongside her. Close—too close.
No, she couldn’t stay mad, which was annoying and frustrating in its own way.
He looked at her, his eyes flitting from her lips to her eyes and back again, their intensity deepening into something else, something more primal and making her tummy contract over a rush of heat.
Not helping...
She looked away, to the back of the driver’s head as he climbed into the car and demanded Jack’s attention as they ran through that day’s itinerary and the impact their two-hour delay had had. Two hours. All thanks to his blasted phone.
Jack was exhausted. Heaven knew whether he’d truly slept properly last night. She’d not had a chance to ask him since his phone had rung the second they’d sat down to breakfast. He needed a holiday, a real break. The thing had to go, and she’d speak to him about it the first chance she got.
As for the trust issue...that would be harder to raise. But maybe she’d just got it wrong. She looked to the passing landscape, the snow-capped rocks, the trees drooping under the weight of it all. It was pretty, even if
it did coax memories to the fore that she would prefer remained buried.
Maybe it hadn’t been his lack of trust in her to look after Lily at all; maybe she was being unfair and overly sensitive because she hadn’t trusted herself either. She breathed through the rising knot of anxiety in her chest, flexing her tightened fists as she closed her eyes against the view, and then she felt his hand upon her knee.
She turned to see him looking down at her, the emotion blazing in his gaze reassuring her and letting her know he was there.
Yes, maybe she had been wrong, because if anyone deserved the benefit of the doubt it was him.
She rubbed her head against his shoulder, much like a cat would do to their owner’s leg, and whispered, ‘Thank you.’
He gave a soft laugh. ‘So I’m forgiven.’
‘For now.’
* * *
Jack’s phone call had cost them two hours of daylight but his driver was a pro at navigating the terrain and facing off the aftermath of last night’s storm. The sky was looking better by the hour which made that evening’s stay all the more hopeful.
He’d wanted to book their holiday for longer—the longer the stay the more chance they would get a glimpse of the natural phenomena that they were here for, but he hadn’t wanted to risk Sophia saying no and, as that morning’s call proved, he needed to get back to work. But they were here now, and they could make the most of it.
He’d seen Sophia’s face and known she was angry with him; he wanted to make it up to her, to both of them, and so far Iceland’s impressive sights were winning it for him. They’d trekked around Seljalandsfoss waterfall, been awestruck by its immense drop and the roaring glacier waters. They’d stopped at Skógafoss, another immense waterfall which had earned a breathtaking smile from Sophia and a squeal from Lily when the sun had shone through the spray and produced a rainbow so vivid and colourful.
‘It’s Mummy!’ Lily had turned to him and shouted.
And he’d had to smile, because she was right. The saying he’d always told his daughter was strong in her memory: When it rains look for rainbows...when it’s dark look for stars.
He smiled as he remembered the pleasure in her face, what he could make out between her thick woolly hat and the scarf as high as her nose. The moment had been perfect and, he hoped, captured for ever in his little girl’s memory.
They were back in the car now, heading for the last stop before their destination for the night. It was two in the afternoon, still time to catch it in daylight and get to their room for the night... Room. It really was just a room, with nothing but the woodland and the sky surrounding them. They’d all be in the one bed too, but he knew Sophia knew this. And yes, he knew nothing could happen, but he didn’t care. The idea of them all being together under the stars was just so—
His phone started to ring, breaking the peaceful harmony in the car. Both Sophia and Lily sent him a look and he grimaced as he pulled it out of his pocket. Even the driver up front was giving him the evil eye through the rear-view mirror—at least that was how it felt.
He checked the screen: Connor.
He grimaced more. He had to take it. This takeover was becoming a royal pain in the proverbial, but he wanted it. And he always got what he wanted...eventually.
Sophia looked to the screen too. ‘Connor again? Is the guy so incapable of doing his job he has to keep ringing?’
Her remark smarted. Connor wasn’t incapable. In fact, Connor was remarkable; he was two years his junior and yet he’d proved time and time again just how capable he was.
So why is he ringing you to talk through the latest issue?
He swiped the call to answer and gave a curt, ‘What is it?’
Connor went straight into detail. He knew Jack’s time was short, even shorter with him supposedly on holiday. He listened intently as his number two did his best to keep it brief, but it wasn’t brief enough for Sophia. Her eyes kept slipping to him, her frown deepening with each second.
‘Are you happy for me to proceed on that basis, Jack?’
Basis—what basis?
He realised his mind had wandered, too distracted by Sophia’s displeasure let alone his daughter’s, and then he shook himself out of it. What was he even doing? He’d employed Connor years back. The guy had proved his worth over and over, and yet here he was, seeking his approval for another matter.
And then the truth hit him like a slap to the face. Connor was like that because he’d made him that way. He’d made him seek approval, he’d made him ensure that he was abreast of every situation, involved in every decision, he’d demanded that involvement instead of bestowing on him the trust his role demanded.
Jack was a fool, a prize idiot. He’d employed Connor to cover his absences, to be him in his absence, yet his controlling behaviour and his treatment of him had resulted in the complete opposite.
‘Connor, stop.’
‘I’m sorry... Was that not—?’
‘No, Connor, I mean stop. I mean follow your instincts. I trust you to get this right.’
‘You—you trust me?’
He could sense the guy’s frown down the phone.
‘Yes. I wouldn’t have employed you otherwise. Do what you think you need to, get us this deal. I trust you to do what’s right for the company.’
‘And you?’
‘I’m on holiday. Not to be disturbed until Monday at the earliest.’
‘Monday?’
‘Yes.’
‘Right. Okay. No problem, I’m on it.’
‘I know you are.’
‘Thank you, Jack.’
‘I think it will be me thanking you next week, Connor.’
He could sense his number two smiling now as Jack cut the call and looked from one lady to the other. ‘Happy?’
‘Yes!’ they both piped up and he took a gloved hand from each and gave them a squeeze. Content, happy, relaxed...and so very tired. But that could wait. He’d get some sleep tonight. He had a feeling this was a turning point for him—changing his work-life balance and putting his faith in others.
He thought back to that morning and the fear that had gripped him at the idea of Sophia and Lily venturing out alone. No. He wasn’t ready for that. A foreign country, the two people who meant most to him in the world. No. Leaving his company in Connor’s hands was fine. Acceptable even. But letting these two out of his sight in a country he didn’t know. No. Just no.
He gripped their hands tighter, his love for them overriding.
‘Thank you for doing that,’ Sophia suddenly said into the quiet.
‘It’s long overdue.’
‘Yes,’ she said, the vehemence in her voice surprising him. ‘Even if it wasn’t Lily’s birthday, I’d say the same. Everyone needs time off once in a while. Even someone as successful and as invincible as you.’
Invincible? He didn’t feel invincible right now with her eyes looking up at him, their sheen, their concern killing him inside.
‘I know,’ was all he could manage as he fought back the urge to kiss her.
‘Good.’
She wet her lips, her eyes scanning his face, and he realised the urge existed within her too and it was enough. Just to know they shared that need, that she cared for him enough to state her approval of his decision. It was enough.
‘We are here, Mr McGregor.’
* * *
The Reynisfjara black sand beach was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. Not difficult considering she’d barely travelled out of the UK. Even when she’d attended the training courses put on by her company abroad, she’d kept close to the hotel studying, connecting, networking.
And oh, my, how different things are now...
It wasn’t just her travel status changing, it was her whole outlook on life, on what was truly important and what really made her happy. How was it pos
sible for so much to change in such a short space of time?
She pulled her gaze from the waves crashing at the base of the rugged basalt stacks out at sea and looked to Jack. She knew the answer well enough. Even with his woollen hat and his scarf wrapped high around his face leaving her with just a glimpse of his sparkling grey eyes, he made her tummy flutter and her heart warm. At his side was Lily, a perfect miniature copy with her curls escaping her hat, her eyes as grey as his, peering out above the edge of her scarf.
It was the two of them who made her keen to do what she could to repair her relationship with her mum and dad. They made her want more out of life, more than just work.
They were studying the grey basalt columns rising out of the black sand, Jack leaning down to listen to his daughter above the roar of the sea, and she smiled. Lily was likely telling him all about their formation, from lava to volcanic rock... He really hadn’t been lying when he’d said she’d been absorbing every word of the brochure. And Sophia couldn’t be happier to see the delight in Lily’s face at every landmark they visited.
It was the perfect birthday, with or without Aurora playing ball tonight, ever more so to know that even now Jack’s phone was turned off in his jacket. He’d taken it out as soon as they’d stepped out of the car and Lily and Sophia had both glared at it. But he’d simply smiled and declared he was turning it off, saying that all those he cared about were right here with him and that no emergency would be important enough to change that.
It had warmed her top to toe, just as it did now. She’d loved to think...she wanted to think...he’d included her in that sweeping comment, but as much as she now knew she loved him, she had to keep her hope under control.
‘So, birthday girl,’ Jack said, clapping his hands together, ‘are you ready to head to our bubble for the night?’
Lily looked up at him, her gloved hand tugging her scarf away from her mouth. ‘Yes!’
‘Great. Dinner first, though, then bubble.’
She pouted.
‘What—you must be hungry? Aren’t you hungry, Sophia?’
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