‘We could grab a picnic?’
‘Oh, yes!’ Lily blurted. ‘A picnic under the stars!’
‘Aren’t you full of great ideas?’ he teased, his eyes dancing into hers and making her come alive inside, heat, laughter and happiness all bubbling up. ‘I’ll arrange for our food to meet us there... Does mean I’ll be needing this though...’
He pulled out his phone and they both grinned.
‘For food, we can forgive you, Daddy.’ Then she hooked her hands in Sophia’s and Jack’s, tugging them back towards the car. ‘Hurry—the sky is still clear... I have a really good feeling in my...what is it Ms Archer says—waters?’
They all laughed. And, truth was, Sophia had a good feeling too. But it was less about the sky and more about her companions. Her smile behind her scarf grew, her cheeks aching from the effort. She’d never smiled so much before that it hurt; she hadn’t even known it possible. Not before the McGregors, before her life had started to feel so complete...
* * *
Jack knew of camping, glamping, caravanning...you name it, he knew of it...but never had he done such a thing.
He stared up at the roof of their bubble for the night and seriously wondered whether he’d lost his mind. It wasn’t that there was just the one room, the one bed even, it was the fact that a toilet trip required a dash into the depths of the forest, in the freezing snow with a torch for company. Plus, he was exhausted—all the fresh air, the lack of decent sleep these last few weeks and now...this.
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ Lily’s voice was breathless with wonder as she twirled on the spot beside him, her head back, her eyes on the darkening sky above.
He looked at the obvious pleasure in her face and forgot every negative thought. This was why he’d booked it. He could have booked a luxury lodge, a glass-framed house, anything but a solitary bubble in the middle of a forest, but this was what Lily wanted. A true experience under the stars with them all in one bed together, and he had to admit, after spending last night apart from Sophia, the idea of it made any amount of ‘slumming it’ worth it.
‘We’d best eat before you get too distracted,’ Sophia teased Lily as she rummaged through the bags of food that had been delivered and started to lay out a feast on the bed. Hams, cheeses, breads, fruit...more continental breakfast than evening dinner in Jack’s eyes, but so long as the women were happy.
Who was he kidding?
He was happy. As they sat on the bed munching away, their chatter so easy and comfortable, he was happier than he’d ever been. Happier than he’d even known possible, and he knew the cause was sitting right opposite him, her cheeks glowing in the soft light given off by the solitary lantern, her eyes bright and often locking with his, the hint of a smile permanently on her lips, save for when she was laughing and then her whole face lifted, the mood in the bubble right along with it.
‘Can we turn the light off now?’ Lily pleaded, pushing her plate away and trying to settle back on the bed.
‘Let me just get rid of these...’ Sophia started to clear everything away and he moved to help her, their hands colliding over the same dish. She smiled up at him, he smiled back, the connection holding them captive.
‘Ahem!’ Their eyes snapped to a stern-looking Lily, a giggle erupting from them both as she crossed her arms over her chest. ‘No kissing allowed.’
‘I wasn’t.’
‘I didn’t.’
They both said in unison.
The little girl raised her brow in total disbelief and Jack looked back at Sophia. ‘Well, I may have thought about it.’
Sophia laughed and pulled away, taking the piled-up plates with her and flicking off the light.
‘Oh, wow!’ It came from Lily, but Jack was thinking it, his eyes now lost to the skies above as he lay back beside his daughter and took it all in.
It was majestic, ethereal, out of this world. Stars glittered as far as the eye could see, and swirling arcs of mist-like patterns streaked across the sky, casting an almost eerie glow.
‘I feel like I’m in a dream,’ Lily said as Sophia lay down next to her, the three of them now in a row. He felt Lily take his hand, saw her take hold of Sophia’s too and pull them both onto her chest. ‘It’s perfect. This is perfect.’
It was. The perfect everything. And surprisingly comfy. He could already feel his body winding down, his eyes growing heavy as he worked his shoulders into the cushiony softness beneath him. He yawned and blinked rapidly, staving off sleep.
‘You should make a wish,’ Sophia murmured. ‘With all those stars above, it has the greatest chance of coming true.’
‘I will,’ Lily said with a bob of her head, her small hands squeezing at them both.
He turned his head to look at his daughter, watching her close her eyes, her face screwed up in concentration, and then she opened them. ‘Done.’
‘What did you wish for?’ he asked, his eyes catching Sophia’s over Lily’s head and knowing what he would wish for if he were six again and he’d lived a life where he could believe in such things. He’d make a wish for the thirty-year-old him, a wish likely to be very similar to Lily’s.
‘I can’t tell you that, Daddy. It won’t come true if I do.’
‘Of course, how silly of me.’ He smiled at her, his eyes lifting back to Sophia’s and pausing just long enough to let her know his own wish and hoping she too could share it.
‘Thank you for the best birthday.’
‘It was all Sophia’s doing.’
‘I know—I was thanking her.’ And then she laughed and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Turned to give one to Sophia too. Then she lay back and they all stared up at the sky, absorbing the natural beauty Earth had to offer and forgetting how imperfect life could be.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘I’M READY!’
Lily’s call came from her bedroom just as Jack entered the living area with a glass of wine for her. It was their last night in Iceland and they were back in the hotel suite Jack had booked for the first night. Tomorrow they would be back in the UK and then...and then what?
She smiled to hide her worry and took it from him. ‘Thanks.’
‘I’ll go and get her settled, won’t be long.’
She nodded and watched him go, her thoughts no less troubled. They hadn’t discussed the future, and Sophia still didn’t feel ready to confuse Lily’s birthday trip with it. But everything he did, everything he said—it all indicated that he was starting to feel the same.
And the more time she spent with him, the more they shared, the more I love you threatened to erupt.
Here’s your food, Sophia.
I love you.
Here’s your drink, Sophia.
I love you.
I’ll get the door, Sophia.
I love you.
She shook her head at her own madness and settled into the couch, enjoying the soothing quality of the wine and the warming fire.
‘Hey, Sophia.’ He leaned his head around the corner. ‘She’s asking for you too.’
He gave an apologetic smile and she grinned back, unfolding herself from the sofa and leaving her glass on the table as she joined him.
‘It’s no problem. I’d like to anyway.’ She moved to walk past him and he reached out, his hand gentle on her arm to stop her.
‘Sophia?’
‘Yes.’ She looked up into the warmth in his gaze and felt it again, ever more pressing, ever more urgent... I love you.
‘Please stay tonight—with us, with me?’
Her heart squeezed in her chest, her body stiffened. ‘I...’ The refusal died on her lips. She didn’t want to leave.
‘Please?’ He pressed again and she felt her shoulders ease, her heart too. It was what she wanted.
‘Yes.’
He pulled her to him, the heat of his body permeating
their jumpers, his scent assailing her senses. ‘You will?’ he rasped.
She nodded, her eyes falling to his lips, and then he kissed her and any remaining doubt ebbed away on a flurry of heat and happiness.
He broke away too soon for her body’s liking. ‘Sorry, I just had to do that.’
And she could only smile as he took her hand and led her into Lily’s room.
She was already in bed, the pillow up behind her, Baby Bear on her belly with her favourite book open and ready.
They climbed in, one on each side, and she looked from one to the other, her grin quite satisfied.
‘Happy?’ Jack said to her.
‘Yes, now I am. Aren’t we, Baby Bear?’
Sophia could feel Jack’s gaze on her, feel her own lips lift with a happiness she couldn’t contain.
‘You read, Sphea.’ Lily edged the book closer to her and snuggled in. ‘You can be my new mummy, can’t you?’
Her eyes shot to Jack’s, catching his sudden pallor and...what—panic?
‘I don’t think anyone can replace your mummy, darling.’
‘No, but I can have two mummies. People do, don’t they? I’ve seen it on TV.’
Sophia’s body relaxed a little, but Jack still looked like he’d seen a ghost.
‘True, very true,’ she said, kissing the little girl’s head and starting to read, hoping Jack would relax and Lily would be satisfied with her non-answer. This was what she’d been worrying about—Lily’s attachment, the what-if of it not working out, and having seen Jack’s face...
But he’d wanted her to stay with him tonight. Surely that meant he wanted more?
More what though? A relationship? Or sex? Was she just filling a hole in that part of his life? He’d been clear about his feelings towards Elena, his inability to love before.
Had she really just been so blinded by her own love?
Her stomach twisted, her throat closing over and straining her voice as she tried to read.
Lily yawned. ‘Daddy’s turn now.’
She looked to Jack, but his attention was on the foot of the bed, distant, wary.
‘Daddy?’ Lily nudged him and his eyes snapped to her.
‘What, monkey?’
‘Your turn.’ She passed him the book.
‘Ah...okay.’ He gave Sophia a quick look, a flicker of something in his gaze, and then his focus was on the book, his voice far more jovial than she knew he felt.
She should slip away now. Before he could hold her to her promise to stay. She started to move off the bed and felt his hand close around her own.
‘Stay, please.’
She looked back into his face and in that second she would have done anything he asked, because there was that look in his eye, the look she had come to depend on, the look that said he cared. Even if it wasn’t love, it was enough to keep her there, for now.
She settled back down and he pulled his arm around her and Lily, his hand coming to rest on Sophia’s shoulder, his thumb gently caressing her skin. He had to care for her.
He had to.
* * *
‘Sophia...?’
They were walking through the corridor that led from Lily’s bedroom to the living area, Sophia in front, him behind, and every part of him just wanted to reach out for her and pull her in. But he could sense she was trying to keep some distance. The fact she was walking ahead without even a backward glance was enough to tell him that.
‘Sophia?’ he tried again as she reached the sofa and lifted her glass from the table.
Slowly she took a sip and turned to look at him. The fire was no longer lit and the room was dark save for a solitary lamp and it cast a shadow over her face and made her look...sad.
He’d seen her look many things this holiday but that wasn’t one of them. ‘What is it?’
She shook her head and gave a small laugh, but it was shaky, unsteady. ‘I don’t know where to start.’
‘You can tell me anything...’ He stepped closer, pausing when he was a stride away. ‘Is it me? Is it what Lily said?’
‘It was your reaction when she said it...’ She took a breath and it shuddered out of her. ‘Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to come and go from her life like she doesn’t mean anything to me.’
‘I don’t want you to either.’
‘But I will if this, whatever this is, doesn’t work out.’
‘Do you want us to work out?’
She gave a gentle sigh. ‘How can you ask me that?’
‘It’s a simple question, Sophia. Do you want there to be a you and me?’
She wet her lips, her eyes dark in the low light and glistening now. ‘I’m a realist, Jack. It doesn’t matter how swept away I get by you, by Lily, by all this...’ She fluttered a hand around her. ‘I can’t help but think it will all get taken away.’
‘It won’t if we don’t want it to.’
‘But your face when Lily asked...when she asked about me being...you know...’
He shook his head, one hand reaching out for her, his palm soft upon her cheek. ‘I felt guilty. I told you before I couldn’t love Elena, not as she wanted me to, and she was her mother. She, of all people...’
He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He’d never admitted so much to another person, never made himself vulnerable in this way before, but he knew he owed her this. The truth.
He opened his eyes and cupped her other cheek, cradling her face in his palms as he stepped forward to close the remaining distance between them. ‘But you, Sophia, you make me feel that way.’
Her eyes shone up at him, her lips parting on an unspoken thought.
‘When I’m not with you I think of you,’ he whispered, ‘and when I am I feel like I’ve come home, that I’m where I belong. I’ve never known the kind of happiness I’ve found by your side.’
‘But...’ She shook her head, the move so small he barely felt it. ‘What are you saying, Jack?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ He searched her eyes for what he wanted to see, desperately hoping she felt the same.
‘No...’
‘I’m in love with you, Sophia.’
She inhaled softly, her lashes fluttering as emotions flickered in the wide pools of her blue eyes, their colour so mesmerising, so familiar now that he could close his eyes and still they would be there, ingrained in his memory.
‘And though it makes me feel guilty and vulnerable and in all manner of ways uncomfortable, I can’t deny that I love you.’
‘Is this really happening?’ She trembled in his hands, her voice hushed.
‘Believe it.’ He kissed her, wanting her to feel it, wanting her to take his words and claim them for her own. ‘Please believe it.’
He scooped her up in his arms, pressing another kiss to her lips. ‘Let me show you how much I love you...’
He walked her to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Her eyes were unblinking as they followed him around the room, closing the door, turning the lights down low and stripping away his clothes.
‘Jack...’
He paused over the button to his trousers. ‘Yes?’
‘I love you too.’
Her voice was so definite, so very real, and he stripped the last of his clothing in one swift motion, joining her on the bed and claiming her lips with his.
This was what coming home felt like. This was what love felt like. And now he’d found it he had no idea how he’d live without it again.
And if life was kind he would never have to.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SOPHIA STILL COULDN’T believe the night’s events.
The sun wasn’t even up and she was lying awake, Jack’s arm across her naked tummy, his even breath brushing over her shoulder as he slept so deeply, so soundly. She knew how tired he was, t
he travelling having taken its toll, no matter how he tried to fight it, and she felt for him.
But this was a new beginning. They were talking about a future—a future in which Lily and Jack would settle in the UK. Less travel, more stability for Lily, more time for them—the three of them. It was all coming true and she was too abuzz to sleep any more.
The second she’d awoken she’d replayed his words of love, his attentive mouth as he’d travelled the length of her body, demonstrating his love for her in such a way that she had felt worshipped, cherished, loved more than she’d ever thought possible.
He loved her. He truly loved her.
And she was so utterly besotted, with him and Lily.
Life truly could be perfect. She’d never dared to believe, but now she did.
She turned to look at him beside her, felt that love blossom in her chest, her heart feeling so big it was impossible to breathe.
‘I love you, Jack,’ she whispered, and then she heard it, the sound of movement in the hallway. Lily was awake.
She frowned and strained to listen. Maybe she’d been mistaken. But no, there was the delicate patter of small feet, a brush of clothing against the wall.
Although Lily knew of their relationship—that ship had definitely sailed—she wasn’t quite ready to have her walk in on them naked and entwined.
She slipped out from beneath Jack’s arm and picked up her clothes from the floor, from where Jack had hastily deposited them. Her cheeks flushed even now at the memory and she pressed a hand to them, taking a cooling breath as she pulled them on and silently slid from the room.
She found Lily in the living area, her tiny frame dwarfed by the tall glass that currently showcased Aurora and the stars. It wasn’t quite as striking as in their bubble, but it was no less mesmerising, and Lily was certainly mesmerised.
‘Lily,’ she whispered, not wanting to startle her.
She turned to her and smiled. ‘Hi, Sphea.’
Sophia pressed a finger to her lips and gave a gentle, ‘Shh, your daddy is sleeping.’
She nodded and looked back to the glass.
‘I wish we didn’t have to leave,’ she murmured as Sophia joined her, her voice taking on a sad edge.
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