The CTR Anthology

by Alan Filewod

  Malcolm: Yes ma’am. (He does, looks at her.)

  Lola: (suddenly vulnerable) Oh Malcolm …

  Malcolm: Yes darling …

  Lola: Do you think it’s possible?

  Malcolm: Anything is possible … (Malcolm flicks a light on a family portrait to reveal Tina as a prison Matron, Eat Me and Malcolm kissing Lola’s shoes.) … ble …

  Lola: (tears in her eyes) Kneel, Malcolm.

  Malcolm: Yes ma’am. (He does.)

  Lola: You know … Malcolm I think I’ve learned a lesson from all this.

  Malcolm: What’s that, Lola?

  Lola: It’s … well … I suppose I did build my dream home after all and we have turned out to be one big happy family … in our own way and …

  Malcolm: Yes Lola.

  Lola: Anything is possible …

  Eat Me: Arf arf!

  (Music … lights dim.)

  THE END

  Newhouse

  adapted from Tirso de Molina’s Don Juan (The Trickster of Seville) and Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex

  Richard Rose and D.D. Kugler

  The founding director of Necessary Angel Theatre in Toronto, Richard Rose has directed many of the company’s productions since 1978, including Chekhov’s The Seagull, Michael Springate’s Dog and Crow, Milan Kun-dera’s Jacques and His Master, the collective’s Mein (Dora Mavor Moore Award, 1984) and Desire, John Krizanc’s The Half of It (Chalmers Award, 1989) and the acclaimed productions of Howard Barker’s The Castle, The Possibilities, and The Europeans. He has also adapted and directed several other projects, including Boom (from Buchner’s Woyzeck), Censored (from Bulgakov’s A Cabal of Hypocrites), Newhouse (from de Molina’s Don Juan and Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex), and Coming through Slaughter (based on the novel by Michael Ondaatje). Directing credits for other theatres include Krizanc’s Prague for Tarragon Theatre, The Emperor for Theatre Plus, Lily, Alta and The Dreamland for the Blyth Festival, and Not Wanted on the Voyage (based on the novel by Timothy Findley) for the Canadian Stage Company.

  Richard Rose’s direction of Krizanc’s internationally acclaimed Tamara won him a Dora Mavor Moore Award in 1982 and the Los Angeles Drama Critics Award.

  During his association with Necessary Angel Theatre in Toronto, D.D. Kugler has served as production dramaturge on Howard Barker’s The Castle and The Europeans (in its world premiere), Michael Springate’s Dog and Crow, and John Krizanc’s The Half Of It. He also collaborated with Richard Rose on the adaptations of Michael Ondaatje’s Coming Through Slaughter and Timothy Findley’s Not Wanted On The Voyage. As a freelance director and dramaturge, D.D. Kugler both developed and directed the premieres of Eugene Strickland’s Darkness on the Edge of Town, Connie Gault’s The Soft Eclipse, Keith Dorland’s True North, Michael Springate’s Consolation of Philosophy, and the Koprowski/Anderson opera Dulcitius (for the Canadian Opera Company).

  Newhouse was first produced by the Necessary Angel Theatre Company at the William H. Bolton Arena in Toronto on 19 April 1989.

  PRODUCTION

  Director / Richard Rose

  Environment Design / Graeme S. Thomson

  Costume Design / Minda Johnson

  Video Design / Cliff Clifford

  Dramaturge / D.D. Kugler

  Stage Manager / Sarah Stanley

  Technical Director / John-Kelly Cuthbertson

  CAST

  Albert Schultz / Newhouse

  Melissa Bell / Isabel, Prostitute

  David Hughes / President, Doctor

  Vanessa Dykun / Ambassador Peters, Anna

  Rodger Barton / Prime Minister

  Elizabeth Hanna / Prime Minister’s Wife

  George Merner / Mr Crane, Angus

  Mark Christmann / Chambers

  Doug Hughes / Baker, Commander Gordon

  Stuart Clow / Evangelist, Marcus, Patrick

  David Main / Minister of External Affairs

  Marguerite Pigott / Amy, Susan Redstone

  CHORUS

  Rhea Akler, David Caron, Marion de Vries, Rick Little, Kate Main,

  Ewan McLaren, Alda Neves, Pierre Toth, Jennifer Tripp, Tanya Walsh

  Members of the 1987 Pilot Project Newhouse Workshop / Stewart

  Amott, John Evans, Fran Gebhard, Elizabeth Hanna, Michael Kelly,

  Lorraine Landry, Lynn Woodman

  Stage Manager / Cheryl Landy

  Design Consultant / Dorian Clark

  PLAYWRIGHTS’ NOTE

  Newhouse is a speculation about possible, but avoidable, future events – the political and social effects a sexually transmitted disease, at epidemic levels, could have on the individual and society.

  Any plague, but especially a sex plague, is a catalyst for radical change in human behaviour. Unfortunately, the fear and ignorance surrounding such a plague can be manipulated by political parties and religious groups to reshape society. Fortunately, many organizations exist to inform the public, and their efforts not only abate the spread of the disease, but undercut the hysteria.

  Our particular disease, while having many similar attributes, is not identified as AIDS. It is simply referred to as the “plague.” Research continues, and each day more is known about AIDS, but we have chosen to focus on the effects of the unknown.

  Two characters catch the plague from a one-night encounter. While this is suitable for dramatic purposes, in reality the chance of acquiring AIDS in one encounter is highly unlikely, although possible.

  The title page lists the two primary sources for this free adaptation, but we also drew on material from Molière’s Don Juan, Seneca/Oedipus Rex, Diderot’s Rameau’s Nephew, and numerous political personalities of the hour.

  Special thanks are extended to John Krizane for his dramaturgical contribution; the Laidlaw Foundation, the George Cedric Metcalf Foundation, and Labatt’s Ontario Breweries for taking the risk with us; Libby Appel, Chairman of Theatre, and the cast of the seminal Newhouse workshop at California Institute of Arts; members of the 1987 Pilot Project Newhouse workshop; and the cast of the first production for their contributions and advice.

  This play is for Brian Bailey.

  ACT ONE

  SCENE ONE

  (Washington. Masked Ball at Canadian Embassy. A bed rolls by. Newhouse and Isabel making love.)

  SCENE TWO

  (The TV news appears live, the commentator in front of pillars made of TV sets. Underneath the speech a helicopter approaches [sound]. Riot approaches.)

  Commentator (Com):

  It is morning –

  Grey morning on Parliament Hill.

  The seventh day

  Begins quietly for this city

  After six days of violent battles

  On our streets –

  Marches by high risk groups,

  Counter-protests by Evangelists.

  The police

  Afraid of infection

  Remain behind their barricades.

  They who have served us loyally

  Abandon us to chaos.

  Will the streets remain unruly?

  Will government act?

  Or has fear paralysed us?

  Beyond the violence, the anarchy,

  Beyond the stone-throwing and hardened passions,

  The list of dead grows longer –

  Forgotten in the anger

  And the despair.

  I have seen the victims.

  We all have seen

  Their eyes and bodies,

  Skin on fleshless bone.

  I have seen our hospitals,

  Cities of the dead.

  I have seen dying worse than death –

  The numbering, pounding, swelling, aching,

  burning, shouting out for

  Death

  To come.

  SCENE THREE

  (Newhouse and Isabel scramble from the bed and dress hurriedly in elaborate costumes. Newhouse masked.)

  Isabel: Was someone at the door?

  Newhouse: Let’s go – there’s a way out the back.
/>   Isabel: When can I see you again?

  Newhouse: Soon – I promise –

  Isabel: – I can’t wait – I don’t even know your name –

  Newhouse: I’ll find you.

  Isabel: Oh come on, tell me your name.

  Newhouse: Do you really need to know who I am?

  Isabel: Yes, of course –

  Newhouse: – wasn’t it delirious – not knowing names –

  Isabel: – it was fabulous. But no more games – tell me who you are –

  (Pause)

  Isabel: All right – no names, no past, no future. Let’s make love again – now!

  (President enters in a masked costume.)

  President: Who’s there?

  Isabel: Jesus, it’s the President.

  President: What is going on here? (turns on light) Who are you?

  Newhouse: A man and a woman.

  (President leaves.)

  President: Ambassador Peters, there is a man with a woman in your guest room –

  Ambassador: (in costume) Sir?

  President: fucking – you know (gestures) - every cock-sucking reporter and his motherfucking brother here – I’ve got staff up the ying-yang to keep my cherry intact, and I turn my back at this jerk-off Canadian embassy function and take it up the ass – now get your perfumed cunt in there and wipe up the fucking mess.

  Ambassador: Yes, Mr President.

  (Ambassador enters room.)

  Ambassador: Whatever you two are doing – I want you to stop.

  Newhouse: This is none of your business.

  Ambassador: Don’t make me call security.

  Newhouse: You can’t arrest me – Ambassador.

  Ambassador: Wait outside for me, Miss, (to Newhouse) You stay. (Isabel exits)

  Ambassador: Who the hell are you?

  Newhouse: You know me.

  Ambassador: Newhouse – you should know better! Why tonight?

  Newhouse: Ambassador Peters, my apologies for disturbing your Masquerade –

  Ambassador: – half of the American government, all of the press –

  Newhouse: – she’s very attractive –

  Ambassador: – and you couldn’t drive to a motel?

  Newhouse: – not so easy – identification, proof of marriage – besides, in this disguise I could remain anonymous.

  Ambassador: She doesn’t know who you are?

  Newhouse: We were both a little too impetuous –

  Ambassador: What were you thinking of?

  Newhouse: We were trying not to think. Nothing will happen if you don’t say anything. The girl doesn’t even know my name – she’d barely recognize me.

  Ambassador: You disgust me, Newhouse. But this isn’t uncommon behaviour for you – is it? I know why your father posted you here – the affair with Commander Gordon’s wife –

  Newhouse: – “Damage control” –

  Ambassador: – he was protecting you.

  Newhouse: I won’t ask you to protect me. It would be insincere.

  Ambassador: Sex is dangerous unless you’re tested and registered –

  Newhouse: – sex is spontaneous –

  Ambassador: – sex is illegal – you’ve abused your diplomatic immunity –

  Newhouse: – but not my sexual immunity –

  Ambassador: You’re relieved of your post. Get out of Washington. Disappear. You and your assistant.

  Newhouse: Advice, or a command?

  Ambassador: Both. Leave – out the back!

  Newhouse: Is that what the President wants, Ambassador Peters –

  Ambassador: Go!

  (Newhouse leaves. President joins Ambassador.)

  Ambassador: Mr President, the man disappeared when I went to call security.

  President: Fuck! No … good! Shit, I recognized the slut – Isabel Duke – her father’s a congressman – our side. And I know who her horny boyfriend is.

  Ambassador: It was her boyfriend?

  President: Who the fuck else? Robert Baker – also our side.

  Ambassador: Then the less said the better.

  President: Except she knows that I know – I’d better give her ass a reaming. Make fucking sure we’re not disturbed.

  (Ambassador leaves. Isabel joins President.)

  President: Isabel, I am shocked. Your lewd conduct –

  Isabel: I didn’t –

  President: – don’t interrupt me! This is an official function of the Canadian government. Your indiscretion is appalling. Imagine the ramifications if this were to get out. Headlines, your picture, Robert’s picture –

  Isabel: It wasn’t Robert.

  President: Don’t compound my anger by protecting –

  Isabel: I don’t know who –

  President: Have you been tested?

  Isabel: No.

  President: Are you registered?

  Isabel: No, but –

  President: You and Robert could be arrested – your father busted his ass pushing the bill through Congress for me, for God’s sake. Couldn’t you control yourself? Don’t you recognize the threat – don’t you feel the danger? That law is there to protect you. You want us to build prisons and quarantines – walls to cage people like you who can’t control their lust?

  Isabel: Robert wasn’t here – the Ambassador knows –

  President: Robert’s career – and your father’s – could be finished – destroyed. Out of deference to your families, you have my reluctant silence. I am now indebted to Ambassador Peters for her discretion. You’ve compromised my government.

  Isabel: It wasn’t Robert – he’s not at fault.

  President: Young lady, you will have to be tested. The health of this government takes precedence.

  Isabel: Don’t turn away sir, let me explain.

  President: My back is turned, Miss Duke. You’ve hurt me.

  (President joins Ambassador.)

  President: Being tested should keep her fucking quiet.

  SCENE FOUR

  (A large parade. Helicopter lands, and Prime Minister emerges)

  Prime Minister (PM): Citizens, I know that you have family, friends, and companions who suffer. I suffer with you. I know your anxiety. You are not alone. I am one of you.

  Com:

  Will you act?

  PM: Yes, but our crisis resembles a maze that requires us to examine every possibility, pursue every avenue, before providing an answer.

  Com:

  When does study end

  And action begin?

  PM: We have already acted. Our first step was an unprecedented coalition between Mr Crane’s Conservatives and my own party. Both of us have put aside partisan politics for the sake of unity in this crisis. After consultation with the assembled field of experts, Mr Crane, as Minister of Health, will propose concrete policy.

  Com:

  How much longer

  Must we wait?

  PM: I expect his commission to complete their inquiry some time today. But in this dark hour before solution, we must first seek tolerance. We who do not suffer from the disease must keep our minds, our hearts, open.

  (Mr Crane emerges from a committee room.)

  Crane: After public hearings across the country, we have prepared this proposal. The report is not good news, but good can only come from exacting measures.

  Com:

  We have a right

  To know.

  Crane: Our report should first be presented to government, permitting them time to study and respond.

  Com:

  People are desperate

  For answers.

  PM: All parties are united in coalition to battle this crisis. Your inquiry affects us all, Mr Crane, and must be openly debated.

  Crane: Our principal recommendation is simple. We must test everyone – identify the diseased and the carriers – to contain the spread. Only by isolating the infected from the uninfected, can we inhibit further contagion. Continued research monies may result in a future vaccine or cure. But it wou
ld be a misrepresentation, false hope, to assume that we can easily outwit nature. This brief time – when we lived immune to all life-threatening contagion – is over. The disease and its effects are complex. Prevention, through certification and quarantine, may be our only option to preserve the future.

  Com:

  Will you act immediately

  On the commission’s recommendations?

  PM: We will act, but not thoughtlessly. No “quick-fix” solution will be implemented to appease special interests. Your recommendations, I’m certain, address the effect on civil rights.

  Crane: We must identify the endangered with tolerance and acceptance. They are not criminals.

  PM: And yet you suggest treating them as criminals.

  Crane: The minority discussed this at length, but the majority concluded that public identification is the only effective way to save the country. The number of sick increases every day. But it is more daunting that the disease incubates unseen for as many as seven to ten years. The number of unidentified carriers is estimated at near epidemic levels. We fully expect an exponential increase in hospitalized cases. If we allow, the disease’s spread will accelerate with a devastating momentum to destroy every man, woman and child. This nation, in fact the entire human race, could perish.

  Com:

  You name our unspoken terror.

  Crane: It is our moral obligation to act. The commission recommends a hard, but effective, solution – following the lead of other countries. All sexual activity must be authorized through state-issued certificates that require continually updated tests. By monitoring, and licensing, we can guarantee your safety in this sacred human act. The alternative is painfully clear.

  PM: Our difference of opinion is also clear, but consensus and conciliation are possible if we honestly debate your proposal. Nature’s unsolvable riddle forces us to seek a political answer. Many thanks to your commission for its hard work – and to you for your effort, your guidance, and your loyalty. The citizens will find this government committed to a responsible solution. The disease affects each of us. I protect the whole nation – healthy and diseased – as I would myself.

  Com:

  Promises of resolve.

  Deliverance from our affliction.