The CTR Anthology

by Alan Filewod

  Public figures

  Judged not on politics

  But on lives lived

  Free of blemish.

  Wife: Yes, he had an affair – surrendered to desire. But desire has many faces. Desire pushes us – as a people, as a nation – to greatness. As Prime Minister he articulated our desire – as a nation – for seven years. Think about his selfless public service. Not once did he breach his faith with you – the public.

  Com:

  The public

  Fears that our leaders

  Ignore the values

  That made this country great.

  Wife: What he did, he did not as Prime Minister, but as my husband. Yes – he is my husband. I bore our children. I still love him. It is for his wife, for me alone, to forgive him. As I do. I do.

  (Prime Minister enters.)

  PM: No! No more words! No more protestations! You obscure right from wrong. She does not speak for me – my feelings or my thoughts. Let there be no more words between us and them.

  Wife: Why punish yourself more than you are already punished? Let me take some blame. If it is wrong, then we share in it. Banish your self-loathing – no sentence will be harsh enough – even if the world were to collapse. Forgive yourself, as I forgive you. If not – we should die now.

  PM: That is our fate – we are diseased. We live, but are already dead.

  Wife: All right, I will long for death – like you. Perhaps you want those who judge to stone us – or should my death come only by your hand. You say you murdered me once, then why this waiting – Strangle me, mutilate me! Rip apart this place of desire – fear – and hate. It’s where crime was committed – where everything began. (She exits.)

  PM: Have you had your fill? The feast is over.

  (Gunshot. PM runs off.)

  SCENE TWENTY-EIGHT

  (Palace Motel. Newhouse in feverish sleep.)

  Newhouse: What’s that knocking?

  (Pause.)

  Chambers: I don’t hear any knocking –

  Newhouse: Stop the knocking – answer the door!

  Chambers: Kill me if you like, but nobody is knocking.

  Newhouse: I heard knocking. Open the fucking door!

  (Chambers opens door. Commander Gordon enters laughing – seen/heard only by Newhouse as an hallucination – in dark glasses, smoking and drinking.)

  Chambers: I told you, no one is there. What are you staring at?

  Newhouse: Who are you?

  Commander: It’s me – am I welcome?

  Newhouse: Of course. Chambers – It’s him.

  Chambers: That’s enough, now get back into bed.

  Newhouse: Hurry. He’s our guest – get some food –

  Chambers: You’re seeing things – (waving hands) - thin air.

  Newhouse: He’s dead.

  Chambers: The dead don’t eat, so I’ll just get dinner for two.

  Newhouse: No, idiot – if I were dead I’d be famished. Food!

  Chambers: Wait there, I’ll be right back, and stay in bed!

  Newhouse: I’m quite safe, Chambers. He’s not alive – he’s dead.

  Chambers: Who is it anyway?

  Newhouse: Commander Gordon of course.

  Chambers: Right. Okay, wait here and don’t move!

  (Chambers pretends to leave, but observes Newhouse.)

  Newhouse: What do you want from me, Commander? Hurry up – speak!

  Commander: Some palace, (pause) I’ve simply come to thank you. Nothing affects me now – good or bad. The dead are alone. We are content – no despair. We smile on the concerns of the living. I’m tranquil – at peace, (pause.) Give me your hand – if you’re not afraid of me.

  Newhouse: Afraid? It will be my pleasure. I’d shake your hand – even if you were the devil himself!

  (Commander and Newhouse extend hands. Chambers rushes between them.)

  Chambers: Wake up – don’t touch him, don’t touch him – wake up!

  Newhouse: He’s leaving –

  Commander: Don’t worry. I’ll come see you tomorrow.

  Newhouse: – you missed him, Chambers.

  Chambers: You saw the dead in your dreams.

  Newhouse: Yes. I must have a fever – I’m hallucinating –

  Chambers: You see – the fever removes your perversity and makes you susceptible to the basic good in each of us – even you. The hallucination is the last gasp of your repressed instinct for good, your remorse for all the horrible things you’ve done, your desire to repent. Your psyche is opening up to the universal desire for a better world – a world of responsibility, and the improvement of the soul. You saw the dead before you died and it has changed you. I have been waiting for this day, there is hope for you. tomorrow we celebrate!

  Newhouse: You’re right – I do have a conscience, and a little guilt. (pause.) I’m humiliated. How that ever happened I don’t know, but tomorrow I will rectify it.

  Chambers: You won’t be able to. Your natural goodness is oozing out despite you. Go to sleep. You’ll wake up a better man.

  SCENE TWENTY-NINE

  (Ministry of External Affairs.)

  MEA: (on the phone) Anna, I couldn’t call – we were scrambling to pick a new leader. (pause) Anna, why would he hurt you if he loved you?

  (Baker enters.)

  MEA: How would I know he’s infected? Don’t – don’t – don’t take this to the police. Anna, your testimony would never hold up in court – (pause) It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, Anna, once it’s in the papers. Anna –

  (Baker disconnects phone.)

  MEA: Jesus – now what the fuck do you want –

  Baker: We have to talk. Isabel’s test confirm your son infected her –

  MEA: – they only confirm she’s a carrier –

  Baker: – he should be charged with murder –

  MEA: – premeditation is pure conjecture –

  Baker: – then manslaughter, I don’t care.

  MEA: I don’t know where he is – he’s disappeared.

  Baker: You’re just protecting him – I want his ass.

  MEA: Well, you’re forgetting to protect you own. I don’t want to feed the vultures – and you don’t either. You’re not the only one who can smell the rotting flesh, but they aren’t fussy eaters and you’re quite a juicy morsel, Robert Baker.

  Baker: Don’t threaten me –

  MEA: – if word got out Isabel –

  Baker: – keep Isabel out of this –

  MEA: – Isabel will be deported. Back home she’d be tagged, and quarantined – I’m trying to keep all of us out of this.

  (Pause.)

  MEA: Okay, we’ll do it your way – for the moment –

  MEA: – when I find him he’ll get what he deserves – (Baker leaves. Chambers enters.)

  Chambers: What do you think, Minister?

  MEA: He won’t wait long. I should have told my son the moment I knew – years ago.

  Chambers: You did warn him.

  MEA: And it didn’t stop him, did it? I told you I wanted reports every day – you’re certain he’s dying?

  Chambers: He’s very sick, Minister, and getting worse.

  MEA: Make sure he doesn’t see a doctor. Give him these pain killers, and play him out. It shouldn’t be long –

  Chambers: Minister, are you sure this –

  MEA: He’ll die anyway – why prolong it – and I can’t afford to have him alive. Get rid of anything the scavengers could piece together. Make sure he dies nameless.

  Chambers: I have all his identification.

  MEA: Destroy it.

  (Pause.)

  Chambers: Justice would be served if he just died.

  MEA: Death is certainly quieter.

  (Baker meets Angus and Amy in the hallway.)

  Angus: Excuse me, I’m looking for Mr Newhouse – father or son, don’t make no difference – although my daughter would prefer to see the son.

  Baker: Robert Baker. Does she have a complaint?


  Angus: Angus McIntyre. And my daughter Amy. I’d like to speak with the Minister.

  Baker: He’s occupied.

  Angus: I don’t give a damn. I still want to see him.

  Baker: I’m a close personal friend of the Minister. Now what’s the problem?

  Amy: It’s none of his business!

  Angus: But it’s damn well my business – she’s no longer innocent –

  Amy: – Dad! –

  Angus: – and someone had better find that son of a Minister and get him to marry my daughter –

  Baker: I believe I can help you.

  Angus: I want to see the Minister.

  Baker: Of course I’ll inform the Minister immediately, but come to my office first. I’ll need to now all the details –

  Angus: Well – I’d prefer to fix this without too much trouble between families.

  Baker: Weddings should be celebrations.

  Angus: This wedding might bring in a few votes.

  Baker: Just leave everything to me.

  (All exit together.)

  SCENE THIRTY

  (Later. Government Square. Candlelight vigil.)

  Doctor: Tonight the scalpel touches bones.

  Com:

  There is more?

  Doctor: More and more. The child did not survive. She did not survive. He –

  Com:

  The First Lady

  The Child

  Are dead.

  Doctor: You were not there. You did not see. I saw her faceless, I felt his body fall, his mind reel – as he tasted her blood with kisses. I heard his quiet agony swell to numbing howl.

  Blinded by tears, I left him with his grief. He must have been staring at himself – he smashed the mirror with his face – and with broken shards of glass he began to stab – into his genitals – mutilating himself. He yelled out beyond the room, to you hyenas – “see me, know me, judge me – I am no more.”

  Life torn before its time – shoved toward a certain fate by pursuit of a terrible knowledge.

  Com:

  The Prime Minister … ?

  Doctor: Hospitalized, sedated. He wanted to stand before you and hurl accusations at himself, shout his story in your ears. His final words of consciousness, if you call it that, were that he resigns his leadership and seeks exile from society. And then quiet. There is nothing left to do. He must heal – alone. No one need make him suffer more.

  Com:

  Suicide, then mutilation.

  Shock heaped on horror.

  What men will do.

  How much pain … ?

  Where are the limits to madness,

  The borders of misery?

  SCENE THIRTY-ONE

  (Airport.)

  Baker: (holding a newspaper) The manhunt for Newhouse has started. Look at the headlines –

  Isabel: – I don’t feel right about this –

  Baker: – he destroyed your life –

  Isabel: – but that girl Amy McIntyre – her picture’s all over the papers –

  Baker: Isabel, start acquiring a conscience, and you’ll be quarantined too –

  Isabel: – we’re just using her –

  Baker: – it’s important Newhouse gets what he deserves –

  Isabel: – important to you, Robert – I can’t live like you –

  Baker: Isabel, you’re just depressed. Look, there are drugs that check the disease – and we can hope for a cure. Don’t give in to this emotional turmoil –

  Isabel: I’d like to see how you’d handle it, Robert –

  Baker: I didn’t betray you –

  Isabel: Right.

  (Pause.)

  Isabel: But then he knew something you’ll never know, Robert.

  Baker: When you get back – don’t call. Just disappear for a little while. You don’t know my name – who I am – nothing. Understood?

  Isabel: No association with known carriers, I understand, (pause) I always wanted you, Robert. I used to dream about you – your weight against me.

  Baker: Newhouse may defy the Authority, but you have to be prepared to defend yourself if he identifies you.

  Isabel: Did you dream about me? We have a little time – now.

  Baker: He’s unpredictable, but your secret is safe with me.

  Isabel: I trust you.

  Baker: You don’t have much choice.

  Isabel: If we cross that line – once – then we can stop dreaming. Think of us together – over and over –

  Baker: Isabel, stop, please, (pause) I have a future.

  SCENE THIRTY-TWO

  (Ministry of External Affairs. MEA fields paparazzi questions about his son – cries.)

  MEA: My son is presently suffering a debilitating, but not contagious, disease. When fully recovered, he will appear to answer, and refute, charges currently levelled against him.

  SCENE THIRTY-THREE

  (Newhouse stumbles down street, and enters a cathedral. Anna prays at the Commander’s tomb.)

  Anna: Who’s there – is someone there?

  Newhouse: (flicks on lighter) Are you surprised to see me, Anna? I came to pay my respects – I’ll leave you –

  Anna: No. I’m glad to see you. I’m not angry. I’ve changed – I’ve purged myself of all criminal desire. What remains is selfless – spiritual, holy.

  Newhouse: That’s quite a change.

  Anna: God has touched me, opened my eyes – changed me. We were excessive – made fatal mistakes. I hope I live long enough to earn, through austere penance, His pardon. Turn back from passion – your ravenous desire.

  Newhouse: That’s rather a tall order.

  Anna: Don’t you feel regret – guilt?

  Newhouse: No. No regrets, Anna, I’m quite content. My memories are all pleasant.

  Anna: You’re in denial. Accept that you are terminal – change your ways and prepare for the afterlife.

  Newhouse: I’ll give it some thought – in another twenty or thirty years –

  Anna: Two years – three months – one week. If you continue with your crimes against life, you will exhaust His mercy.

  Newhouse: Anna, you’re a hypocrite. But hypocrisy is fashionable, and like all fashion, it passes for good. It must be rewarding to play the pious woman –

  Anna: I won’t be insulted. You’re exhausted and sick. Look into yourself for whatever feeling might change you –

  Newhouse: – like fear.

  Anna: I loved you –

  Newhouse: Stay with me.

  Anna: I can’t – I’m dying.

  Newhouse: So am I – don’t leave. We’re free. Come to me.

  Anna: Don’t – what you’re thinking is – completely beyond me.

  Newhouse: Anna – (Newhouse falls.)

  Newhouse: I’m so hot. I feel like I’m burning up.

  Anna: Lie down. Stay here. I’ll call an ambulance.

  (Anna lays Newhouse on the tomb, and exits. Newhouse sees the Commander smoking/drinking.)

  Newhouse: Hello, Commander.

  SCENE THIRTY-FOUR

  (Hospital entrance. Doctor with PM.)

  Com:

  Why this self-inflicted

  Horror?

  How could you maim

  Yourself?

  PM: I deserve this – and more – the people know. I wish my wife never knew me. My unborn child was saved from me. The family I love, I destroyed. What remains – my poor offspring – must suffer.

  Com:

  Others suffer

  And yet manage to

  Live full lives.

  PM: Reason leads to chaos. Let the plague come!

  Com:

  Grief and depression

  Drive you

  But can these passions –

  PM: Endless questions. The only certainty – I killed my wife and my child –

  Com:

  We ask to better understand.

  But I understand

  Nothing.

  PM: Then understand. I met a woman – felt innocent affecti
on, joyous desire. And yet however casual or unimportant – these stolen kisses were fatal. I cannot even remember that night of love – my mind refuses – no recall of body scents, no memory of pleasure. When did insignificance become terror – the making of love an instrument of torture – I can say no more. Time to rot.

  Com:

  You are not alone.

  People still care –

  Compassionate and tolerant.

  We turn to you

  To lead the

  Opposition.

  PM: Seek nothing from me –

  Com:

  Only days in power

  The Conservative majority

  Proposes harsh measures –

  Identity cards, tattoos, quarantine –

  That affects your freedom –

  Our freedom.

  Regain your senses.

  Fight to protect

  Our rights –

  PM: Tell the people this. I was infected and poisoned my own bed. Annihilate the freedoms that fester into disease. No more hiding, no more secrets. Drag the carriers into the open – cage them. Do what must be done – isolate the diseased! Test every citizen!

  Crane: Sir, I would like a word with you. Respect what little dignity you have left, and end this public show. Members of the press, please. Is this necessary? Protect him from the public glare – shelter him. He is all but naked.

  PM: Yes. Put me away – in some dark quarantine – exile – spare me your charity.

  Crane: Quarantine is only required for those who knowingly spread the disease.

  PM: But I am a murderer – twice! Follow the map of my disease. I am the rat, the fly.

  Crane: The proposed laws of segregation are being debated. You yourself once raised crucial questions about so radical a change.

  PM: Every day you delay, more die.

  Crane: Your life demonstrates that no one is immune. We trust that each individual will now exercise greater caution until we have a cure.

  PM: Don’t use me as an example. You can’t trust the people. Reject tolerance! You’re Prime Minister – act with responsibility. Do your duty – lead!

  Crane: I sympathize –

  (Crane joins Evangelist on Parliament steps.)

  PM: Don’t! (pause) I should see my children. They will suffer too – punished by their father’s crime – who will trust them – what lovers touch them –