SHATTERED

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SHATTERED Page 18

by S. C. Deutsch


  “Will that alarm never go off? We need to get out of here. Go someplace where we can talk.”

  “Yeah, about that. Might prove kind of difficult. The entire place is monitored.”

  “Ana, there has to be someplace we can meet. Someplace private.”

  Ana knew of one. She went there every night. But she had no idea if it was monitored. If it was discovered Jan had come, she would lose Jax. Probably Jan as well.

  “Let’s walk around for a bit. If we talk quietly, it’s possible we won’t be overheard. But get ready. We’re going to attract attention. I’m not too well liked here. Suddenly having a boy at my side is sure to get people talking.”

  “Don’t care. Let them talk. I didn’t come here for them. I came here for you.”

  Ana sighed inwardly. As happy as Jan’s arrival made her, it was going to cause problems.

  The tab’s alarm went off, causing Ana to jump. Jan smiled hugely and picked up both trays, delivering them to the busing station. Returning, he took Ana’s hand, and the pair left, every eye following.

  Outside, Jan led Ana up the hill, then down a side path. Stepping off, he made his way to a large oak tree. Standing under it, he pulled Ana into his arms and kissed her deeply. Ana melted in his embrace, reaching up and clasping her hands behind his neck. Leaning into him, she let Jan hold her tightly, wishing they could stay this way forever. Jan broke the kiss and pulled back, looking at Ana with such longing Ana almost cried. Jan kissed her again, then reluctantly pulled away.

  “Ana, I’ve missed you. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. I thought about you every day. I couldn’t leave on the heli-craft, knowing I’d never see you again.”

  “I missed you, too, Jan,” Ana replied softly. “The only thing that kept me going was knowing you were safe. I’m unbelievably thrilled you’re here. But I’m also scared. My situation is very different now. And people around me are in danger because of it.”

  “Okay Ana, spill. What’s going on? What happened?”

  “Let’s start with why I have a special set of rules. It’s important you understand. Because if they’re broken, it will cost me everything.

  “Jax is here. It’s why I have an upperclassman room. I can’t share one because no one can know I have her.”

  “Jax? Here? How did you manage that? I saw you get her off the island. I couldn’t see everything, but it was obvious whatever you did, Ansil felt he had no choice.”

  “While I was on the yacht, I was asked about Jax,” Ana replied, ignoring Jan’s questions. “They let me keep her because of my brother and because of the way she and I can communicate. When I agreed to come here, she was sent with me so the studies could continue. Jax meets with Niall several days a week while I’m in class. And I have several sessions with her after regular classes are done.

  “But the agreement came with conditions. The first is that she be kept hidden from the other students. Unless we are travelling to or from our sessions, she has to stay in my room. The only other time is when Niall’s handler, Elva, comes for her. Then she goes in Elva’s bag.

  “The second condition is I’m not allowed to discuss her with anyone except a select few.

  “The punishment for breaking either rule is losing Jax. That’s why I can’t have anyone in my room.”

  Jan’s look turned serious then brightened, and he smiled.

  “But I already know about Jax. And Jax knows me. Maybe we can try asking permission based on that.”

  “Jan, as much as I would love that, I’m not sure it will work. I was told any request must have a solid reason. Just knowing her is probably not enough.”

  “You could always come to my room,” Jan said. “At least, before curfew.”

  Ana sighed. She had already thought of that. But everything kept circling back to Vice Premier Drake. She doubted he would take kindly to her being with Jan and needed to make Jan understand without hurting his feelings. Ana took a small step back, wanting a little extra distance so she could soften the blow.

  “Jan, I thought about that. But I told you the school doesn’t like students entering into romantic relationships. And I’m even more at risk. I already have more problems than any other student. Entering your room could go very badly for me. The last person who crossed my path here didn’t fare so well. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

  “Ana, you keep making vague references to things being different for you. But you aren’t telling me why. I know what this place is. What I don’t know is why you’re being so secretive.”

  Ana heaved another sigh. She wanted so much to tell Jan everything. But she had to be very careful. Needing a few minutes, Ana took Jan’s hand, leading him across the grass to a maple in full fall color. Dropping, she pulled Jan alongside and picked up a bright red leaf, twirling it between her fingers.

  “Okay, Jan. I’ll tell you what I can. Please don’t push me. I’ll eventually tell you more, but I can’t right now. And when I’m done, I have to go. Jax and I have a session that I cannot miss.”

  Ana didn’t have any sessions tonight, but after dinner was the time reserved for her and Jax outside. If she didn’t retrieve her companion, it might cause questions she’d rather not answer. More importantly, Jax would be hurt, thinking Ana had abandoned her.

  “I’m listening. And then I’ll let you go. I have to unpack anyway.”

  “On the yacht, I was given a choice that wasn’t really a choice. When I told them I would come here, I was told I had been specifically chosen based on how I performed on the island. The second trip was not a normal sentence. I was told only a handful of people underwent it because they were looking for a certain type.”

  “I’m well aware of the alternative sentence. I’ve done it myself.”

  Ana stared. That’s why he knew about her directives.

  “Oh, Jan. How horrible. If it was even half as bad as mine, it must have been a nightmare.”

  “Like you, Ana, I survived. And like you, it left some permanent scars behind.”

  Jan had that faraway look again and Ana let the matter drop. For now.

  “Anyway, they told me I had performed better than they expected. Because of that, they were granting me an opportunity to come here earlier than anyone else.”

  “Another lie, but go on,” Jan interjected, his face becoming hard.

  “I was told I wasn’t going to be given any special consideration. It wasn’t until later that what I was told on the yacht changed. My coordinator said the directions had come from higher up. Someone at the top has taken a special interest in me. Which means I have to be extra careful not to break any more rules. I was given a pass for the ones I broke before, but if I don’t do what I’m told, I’ll lose Jax and my family. More importantly, I’ll lose you.”

  “Ana, who’s taken this special interest in you?”

  Ana didn’t want to answer, fear sealing her lips shut. Looking at Jan sadly, she shook her head.

  “Was it Premier Raven?” Jan asked, refusing to be put off.

  Ana shook her head. This was not a lie.

  “Vice Premier Drake?”

  Ana didn’t move. Jan’s eyes opened wide, and he clenched his fists, pounding his thighs angrily. Eyes flashing, he opened his mouth.

  “Jan, for both our sakes, don’t say anything,” Ana said, cutting him off. “I was only told my special privileges were ordered by someone higher up. That’s all I know.”

  Ana silently pleaded with him. Jan saw the desperation, saw how her eyes showed fear in their depths, and saw her body start to tremble. He snapped his mouth shut and took her hand, now cold and clammy with sweat.

  “I understand,” he said gently. “Let me think about this. Maybe we can find some way to study together, at least. I want to help you.”

  “Thank you, Jan,” Ana said, her voice shaky. “I’m glad you understand. And I am happy you’re here.”

  “I am, too,” Jan said. Rising, he pulled Ana to her feet. “Now let’s get you back so
you can get to your session.”

  Jan kissed Ana once more, cupping her face gently in his hands. Smoothing away a loose hair, he planted one more light kiss on her forehead, then took her hand and headed to their building.

  Chapter 13

  Month 2

  Week 2

  Jan peered through the crack, watching Ana leave. Her explanation didn’t ring true and he wondered what was really going on. When she headed out the back door, Jan quietly followed. Keeping to the darker shadows, he stayed as close as possible without being seen or heard.

  Ana headed away from the buildings, following the path by moonlight. She had travelled the path so often she didn’t really need the light to see but it made her feel safer. Her head swiveled back and forth, constantly checking even though Jax was hidden in the pack.

  Eventually, Ana stepped off the path and headed to an area surrounded by tall hedges. Circling around, she stepped onto an older, stone walkway and turned back in the direction she had come. The shrub border flared out, opening into an old-fashioned formal garden. Ana slung the pack off her shoulder and placed it on a stone bench. Jax hopped out, sitting still as Ana turned on the tab’s low light and set it on its edge, illuminating a small area.

  Several small trees flanked the stone path, and an unworking fountain sat in the center. Eight pedestals, bare of whatever had once sat on top, ringed the fountain. Most of the bushes had run wild, giving the area an untended feel. Ana loved it here. She would sometimes come during the day, slipping away to study or just sit and look at the trees. She often fantasized about what this placed used to look like and wondered why it had been left to grow wild. Jax also liked it, climbing the trees, balancing on the edge of the fountain, and jumping from pedestal to pedestal. Ana would let her companion run around for a while, often jogging alongside as Jax frolicked among the abandoned stonework. So far, Ana had never been followed and had become somewhat lax about watching the path. There was only the one way in and Jax was always on alert, disappearing in the trees if there was an odd sound outside the hedgerow.

  After the pair finished their horseplay, they sat facing each other just inside the outer edge of light, and the evening’s lessons began. Ana laid several items on the ground between them and started signing.

  Jan slipped quietly behind a tree, intrigued. Ana was making complicated gestures with her hands while talking softly to Jax. Jax watched Ana intently, then spent the next several minutes learning to make the same gesture while pointing to something on the ground. Jan watched the pair repeat these actions, the gestures changing slightly once Jax correctly mimicked Ana. After the fourth one, Jan realized Ana was teaching Jax something and decided to slip in a little closer to hear what she was saying. Easing forward, he missed the stick laid across the grass and cracked it as his foot came down. The stick snapped with a sound like a gunshot, sending Jax up the nearest tree and causing Ana to whip her head around as she gathered the objects in front of her and shoved them behind her back.

  “Who’s there?” she called, hoping whoever it was hadn’t seen Jax. Receiving no answer, she rose slowly and stepped into the light’s center.

  “Show yourself,” she said, trying to hide the slight tremor in her voice. “Permission is needed to be here and as far as I know, I’m the only one who has it.”

  Ana was bluffing. She had never been told permission was needed and mentally cursed herself for becoming too lax. She hoped her little lie would cause whoever it was to leave. When nothing happened, she took another step towards the garden’s entrance, calling again for the person to show themselves.

  Jan stepped onto the path, Jax nestled on his shoulder with her tail coiled around his neck. He stroked the tail softly and started cooing. Jax rubbed her face along Jan’s cheek, and even in the moonlight, Ana could see how happy her companion was.

  Ana, on the other hand, was furious. Jan had again not honored her request, and now the three were in danger once more.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she whispered angrily. “I told you no one is supposed to see Jax.”

  Jan continued walking, zero remorse on his face. Jax made no move to leave her perch, content to allow Jan to continue stroking her. Ana was getting angrier by the minute. Not only had Jan put them all at risk, Jax was acting like Jan’s sudden appearance was the greatest thing ever. She had spent hours getting Jax to understand how important it was not to be seen and now the creature was disobeying the most important rule she had laid down. Ana could barely control her temper and she gritted her teeth to keep from exploding.

  Jan entered the little circle of light and sat, motioning Jax into his lap. Patting the ground, he invited Ana to sit also. Ana, refusing to be placated, took a seat across from him, turning the tab off so the area was now only lit by the moon. Periodic clouds sailed across its face, temporarily plunging the area in total darkness, but she couldn’t take any more chances. If Jan had been followed, the situation would get even worse. She needed total darkness in case someone else came up the path.

  “I followed you,” Jan whispered matter-of-factly.

  “No kidding. Why?”

  “Ana, please calm down. If anyone should be angry, it should be me.”

  “You!” Ana exclaimed, unable to contain her anger. “Why should you be angry?”

  “You lied to me. About tonight.”

  Ana started laughing. For all his smarts, sometimes Jan could be so clueless. She hadn’t lied, just bent the truth. Ana could see that while her anger hadn’t upset him, her laughter did. Wanting him to know exactly how she felt, she continued for several more minutes before becoming serious again.

  “Oh, Jan,” she said, “I never lied. You heard what I said and interpreted it the way I wanted you to. But I never lied.”

  “You told me you had a class with Jax. This is no class.”

  “Did I actually say class?” Ana asked innocently. She was still too angry to be nice and strongly felt the need to teach Jan a lesson. It was imperative he respect the boundaries she put up, no matter how much he felt he had the right to ignore them. As much as she cared for him, she had other responsibilities that were more important.

  Jan thought about it, obviously trying to remember exactly what she said. Ultimately, he realized she had never used the word class. Jan became annoyed at the word games she was playing and let his irritation show.

  “Class, session,” he said testily. “What’s the difference?”

  “Big difference. A class is what we go to with a teacher and other students. I have one-on-one classes with Jax, ones where there’s an instructor in the room with us. But this and what Jax does with Niall are not classes. There’s no formal instruction. What I do with Jax here and what Jax does with Niall are sessions.”

  “You still lied.”

  “No Jan, I did not. I said what I needed to in order to keep you away. No one, including you, is supposed to see Jax. I’ve been told numerous times that if anyone sees her, I will lose her. I absolutely cannot take that chance.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have stayed away.”

  “Would you?” Ana asked. “Can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t have followed anyway, especially if you knew I was going someplace secluded?”

  Jan felt enough shame to hang his head, refusing to meet Ana’s eyes. Mumbling an apology, he looked up, his eyes asking for forgiveness.

  “That’s what I thought. You would have followed. All I can hope is that you weren’t seen and that nobody has realized you’re here. I am not sure this place is monitored but based on the neglect, I doubt it. I think I was told to go here because it’s off the beaten path. But Jan, if you were seen and I lose Jax, I will never forgive you. Never.”

  Jan nodded, afraid to say anything more. He had only wanted to see where she was going. When she headed away from the academic center, he couldn’t help himself. Now, his actions may have driven her away forever.

  “Ana, I’m really sorry,’ he said softly, looking down
again. “I really am. And if what I did causes you to lose Jax, I’ll accept your hatred. I deserve it. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to your session with Jax. And I promise not to bother you anymore.”

  “Geez, Jan,” Ana said crossly. “Sometimes, you are so dense. Of course, I’m angry. You didn’t listen to me. Again. But that doesn’t mean I want you to go away forever. I just need you to understand how serious this is. My actions will not only affect me, but everyone around me. Jax is the only thing that keeps me sane. Her and I have been through so much that separating us would kill me. Her too, most likely.

  “But it’s not just Jax. It’s everything. I have to watch every step I take, every word I say. It’s why I haven’t tried to make friends. I’ve already had one issue that caused a major problem for another student and can’t take a chance on it happening again. All I want is for you to listen to me. We can see each other. Hell, I couldn’t handle not seeing you. But there has to be boundaries, lines that cannot be crossed.”

  “Okay, Ana, I’ll respect your wishes,” Jan said, a slight smile creeping back on his face. “But on one condition. No, make that two. Two conditions.”

  Ana sighed. Jan never took anything seriously.

  “First, please stop acting like I have no idea how dangerous it is here. I am more than well acquainted with what this place holds. More than anyone I know.

  “Second, a kiss.” A huge smile wreathed Jan’s face as his eyes resumed their sparkle. Ana huffed, finding his entreaty both charming and annoying.

  “In a bit. I can only stay for a little while. I have to be back in my room before curfew. And I have a few questions before we move on.”

  “Fine,” Jan said, pretending to pout. “We’ll do it your way. But I have one question first, okay?”

  “Okay,” Ana replied, looking at Jan questioningly.

  “What were you doing with Jax?”

  “Teaching her to talk to me.”

  “How? What is the thing you two do with your hands? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

 

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