“It’s called sign language. It’s a language developed before the Great War so people who couldn’t hear could still communicate.”
“Couldn’t hear? That was a thing?”
“Apparently. Anyway, they developed an entire language based on different shapes you make with your hands. Jax and I are learning how to talk to each other using it. I have a class with a historian who has a book, but I took it one step further. A step they don’t know about.
“I want Jax to be able to talk to me, but I don’t want anyone to know she can do it. As far as the instructor is concerned, Jax can’t learn complex sentences. But I’ve taught her to understand them. She just can’t make any herself.”
“That’s incredible,” Jan said, looking down at Jax with awe. “But why don’t you want anyone to know how well she can communicate?”
“Two reasons. First, because I want her to be able to tell me what she sees. If others know she understands, they won’t talk freely in front of her. And second, I’m afraid if they see how fast she’s learning, they’ll remove the Ra-mur’s from the island and put them in a research facility. As much as I hate the island, I’d rather see them free than caged up in front of a bunch of scientists.”
Jan looked at Ana thoughtfully, slightly ashamed. She considered how things the government did affected everyone, not just her or those closest to her. He needed to start learning from her. He had thought himself so wise, so schooled in the ways of the government, but he was beginning to realize he wasn’t that smart after all.
Ana was making the complicated signs again and Jax responded with a few of her own.
“What did you just say?” he asked, fighting the urge to lean over and kiss her.
“I told her you and I were going to talk. She could either stay, in which case I would continue signing, or she could go play until we’re done. I also told her if she stayed, she should sit in your lap, but she didn’t have to sign to me. Just watch. We can talk about it later.”
“You told her all that? And how did she answer?”
“It’s not the same as you and I talking. The sentences aren’t complete. I use the main words, like stay, watch, lap, no answer, and play. She responded by telling me stay, lap, and watch. That means she’ll stay in your lap and watch what I do.”
“You’ve learned all this in a month?”
“Yes. It’s easier having someone to interact with. I couldn’t have learned it by myself. The historian doesn’t know the language. He has a book, but I’m not allowed to keep it. While in class, I spend the time learning new words, signing them over and over while Jax signs along. Back in my room, Jax and I reinforce those signs, as well as others. But where they can’t see, like here, I work on more complex things. Sentences, questions, stuff like that.
“There are signs for letters, too. If I wanted, I could sign out the letters to make a word. I think before the Great War, they mixed the letters and words to make complete sentences. But I don’t have time to teach Jax that. It’s easier and faster to just do words.
“For instance, I could teach Jax the letter I, the word love, and then the letters to spell out the word you. But there’s no need for her to learn the letter I or the letters y, o, or u. Instead, I can just sign love and point to her and the meaning is the same.”
Ana signed the word for love, pointing at Jax. Jax signed the same word and pointed back at Ana.
“We just said we love each other.”
Jan was amazed. Here was a hidden language that could be used in front of anyone, and they would have no idea what was being said. The possibilities were endless.
“Can you teach me?” he asked.
“Uh, I’m not sure about that,” Ana hedged.
“Were you told not to?” Jan asked, using the same word play she had used earlier.
“No,” Ana drawled. “I just don’t think the government would be happy. I don’t think it ever occurred to them that I would consider teaching anyone else.”
“Then we’ll do it in secret.”
“Jan, what if you get caught? What if they see you?”
“Ana, when are you going to trust me? I can get here without anyone seeing. After we’re done, I’ll leave before you and enter the building from a different direction. But this is important. It’s a way of sending messages without anyone knowing what’s being said.”
“Okay Jan,” Ana eventually said, realizing he was right. “But you have to be very careful and listen to everything I say. And you have to try and keep up. Jax and I are way ahead of you. I can slow down, but I don’t have time to go back and start again.
“I know Ana. I’ll do my best. And thank you.”
“Good. Now I have some questions for you.
“First, when I mentioned I had been given an opportunity to attend the Academy earlier than anyone else, you said that was a lie. Why did you say that? And second, you keep saying you’re well aware of what goes on here. How do you know about this place?”
“Both questions are mixed up together,” he responded. “But I’ll try and explain.
“Like you, my first trip was because of something stupid. But unlike you, it had nothing to do with my friends and everything to do with my family.
“Without getting into it, I’ll only say I don’t get along too well with them. I have problems with their ideology and their expectations. Growing up, I was never allowed any choices. My parents decided everything. What schools I attended, what sports I played, what vids I watched. They mapped out my entire life with absolutely no input from me.
“I fought constantly with them, the fights getting worse as I grew older. When I turned fifteen, my parents told me what my career would be. I blew up, said some hateful things, and stormed out of the house.
“I walked for hours, trying to cool off. But the anger kept getting worse and I found myself sitting in someone’s backyard, gazing at a canal. Someone must have seen me because the next thing I knew, a transport arrived to pick me up. When the official approached, I punched him hard enough to knock him out. Unfortunately, it was a government official. I found myself not heading to a holding station but to the detention center. You know what happened after that.
“But I disobeyed every directive while on the island, Ana. Every single one. I didn’t care what happened to me. I couldn’t deal with my parents dictating my whole life and saw no reason to go back. When I completed my sentence, I was sure I was headed straight to a labor camp. Instead, I was told things that both surprised and scared me. And I went to live with my uncle. I was given more freedom, but all this came with a price.
“After six months, as part of the agreement, I was sent back to the island under the alternative sentence. Before you say anything, yes, that’s how I knew about your directives. But like you, I’ve been forbidden to speak of it. So, I lied and told you I was informed through the packet. I was afraid if I told you the real reason, two things could possibly happen, both causing catastrophic results.
“I was afraid if you knew I had gone through the same thing you had, you would disobey your directives and be sent away, never to be seen again. I was also afraid that by telling you, I was breaking one of my directives, meaning I would also be sent away. I couldn’t take that chance. I had my superiors, my real superiors, to answer to. Being sent away by the government would upset their plans, plans that had been years in the making. So, I told a lie that would keep both of us safe.
“Anyway, after my month on the island, I was given a choice, just as you were. And as I’m sure happened to you, it wasn’t a real choice. They just made it appear that way. I took the lesser of two evils. I came here. I’ve attended the Academy before. I know what this place is and know what happens here. And I know more. A lot more. Things I won’t talk about now. What I will say is this. Because I attended before, I knew what you were headed into. And I was afraid. I chose to follow you to try and protect you. I just hoped that in the time between your admittance and my arrival, you would stay safe.”
/>
Ana was shocked. She stopped signing halfway through, hands dropping into her lap. Jax crawled over, snuggling when she detected Ana’s distress. Jan had already admitted being given the alternate sentence. But the fact he had attended the Academy was a complete surprise. She wondered how he managed to get sent here again, under the impression you either failed and were sent to the military or you passed and went to work for the government. But Jan was on his second trip.
Ana felt like she couldn’t breathe, suddenly remembering what her father had said. All the camp leaders were plants, placed there by the government.
“Jan, how did you get back here?” she asked quietly. “Not the mainland. I mean here. If you’ve already attended, how did you manage to come back?”
“When I went to my debriefing, I offered to come here. Told them I was aware you had been given a choice and assumed you chose the Academy. I offered to come spy on you.”
Ana stared. She couldn’t believe Jan was admitting it. She felt sick to her stomach. She had trusted him enough to reveal things she shouldn’t know and had no idea how much of it had made its way back to the government.
“Ana,” Jan said, reaching out. Ana flinched and scooted back, not wanting to hear any more. But Jan leaned forward and gripped her arm, not allowing her to leave. “Hear me out. Please. It’s not what you think.”
“Then convince me otherwise,” Ana hissed, angry at being betrayed again.
Jan sighed and let go. He realized keeping her here by force would make things worse. Placing his hands in his lap, he wiped the smile from his face.
“The government doesn’t trust anyone. They suspect everyone of being a traitor. I used that suspicion to reach you.
“Your alternate sentence means the government wants you. I had no idea Vice Premier Drake was in on this, but I knew from experience you were being sent to the Academy for a specific reason. And I knew they would watch you, just as they watch everyone.
“But you had something no other person did. You had Jax. That would make them doubly suspicious. You managed to get her off the island the first time without their knowledge and somehow managed to get her past Ansil the second. This told me they found you intriguing. It means they’ll continue to watch you.
“I used that knowledge to gain access to the Academy a second time. The minute they started asking about you, I knew I was going to get what I wanted. I just had to ask the right way. I told them you left a message for me in the glade in defiance of the directives and I wasn’t sure you would behave while here. Then I offered to come and keep an eye on you because I could get closer to you than they could. They bought it and here I am.”
“You’re going to be reporting on me. And to think I trusted you. You have no idea what you’ve just done.” Ana was rigid, fury emanating from every pore in her body. Jan had used her feelings for him to gain access. He was using her, just like everyone else did.
“Ana, stop for a minute. You need to calm down and think about this rationally. Would I be admitting all this if it weren’t true? Why admit to spying on you? I could have said I was sent back for special courses. Instead, I told you the truth. And if they ever find out, I’m a dead man.”
Ana took a deep breath, trying to center herself. Jan was right. He could have lied or bent the truth. But there was still the fact he had to report back. If he didn’t, they would become suspicious or send him away. Ana felt like she was being sucked deeper and deeper into a whirlpool like the ones she had seen in Flaga. She needed space to breathe, time to think. But she needed answers first.
“What will you tell them? The government, I mean. You have to tell them something.”
“I dunno,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders. “I hadn’t thought about it. I mean, I just got here today. My first report isn’t due for a week.”
“You better start thinking about it, Jan,” she said sharply. “They already know I’m not perfect and I push the limits. You can’t make me out to be a model citizen. It will never fly. And if you expect me to trust you, you need to discuss whatever you’re sending back with me. Hell, you should probably let me see the report before you send it.”
“If I can show you, I will,” Jan responded, looking startled at the suggestion. “I’m not sure how my reports are going to work, but if I can’t show you, I promise to tell you. Maybe you can even help me find something.”
“Good,” Ana said, wanting to trust him. “I have one more question before we go. You said you found yourself sitting on the edge of a canal. Where did you live when you were younger?” Ana was remembering the boy who had disappeared. The one who had watched her. She thought it would be too much of a coincidence if Jan was the same boy, but she knew she would never rest unless she asked.
“Flaga. I lived in Flaga until my first trip to the island.”
“Jan, where did you go to school? While in Flaga?”
Jan looked at Ana, afraid to answer. But he had asked her to trust him and couldn’t lie about this. He named the school.
Ana leaned forward, waiting on his answer. When he gave it, she jerked back, her mouth opening in surprise.
“Did you watch a girl?” she asked, finding her voice. “Watch her catch the transports? Stare across the commissary? Turn away when she stared back?”
“Yes,” Jan whispered, hanging his head and twisting his fingers in his lap. “It was me. And yes, I know you were the girl. I figured it out after you left the first time.”
“Why, Jan? How come you stared but never approached me?”
“Ana, I’m sorry. I know it’s creepy. But you fascinated me. You still do. I’ve never seen anyone like you. But I was shy. Extremely shy. My parents controlled everything I did. I had no idea how to approach a girl. Especially one as beautiful and as popular as you.”
“I was a bitch. I was mean, I was self-centered, and I used people.”
“On the outside. But I saw something different. I saw a girl, a beautiful girl, who was lonely. Who was looking for someone who cared about her. Not her clothes, not her status, her. You were just like me. I was looking for the same things.”
Jan was almost crying, surprising Ana. He knew almost nothing about her. Just as she knew nothing about him. But he had seen past her façade, had seen her for who she really was. And he remembered her for years, recognizing her despite all the scars and trauma both had suffered. Now she was the one who felt ashamed. Ashamed she hadn’t approached him all those years ago, hadn’t recognized him, and more than anything, hadn’t been able to see the things in him he saw in her.
The tab suddenly lit up, a bright blue dot flashing brightly. Ana grabbed it and reached for the backpack.
“We need to go,” she said urgently. “It’s almost curfew. Unless we run, we’re not going to make it.”
Jan rose quickly, helping Ana gather her things. After Jax climbed in the pack, she slung it over her shoulder. Turning, she went to leave when Jan suddenly grabbed her. Ana stared worriedly until he bent down and kissed her deeply. Quickly releasing her, he gently pushed her away.
“I told you there were two conditions,” Jan said, smiling. “Now get out of here. Pronto.”
Ana signed the word love, knowing Jan didn’t know what it was, then fled. Jan waited two minutes, then also took off, running in the opposite direction. Both arrived simultaneously at their building, but at opposite doors. Letting themselves in, they nodded to each other in the hall, wishing each other a casual good night before entering their rooms.
Ana fell back on her bed, staring at the ceiling as she replayed the kiss over and over. Eventually, she rose and headed to the shower. Her first class was immediately after breakfast and she had studying to do.
Chapter 14
Month 2
Week 2
Ana slouched in her chair. Miss Hyster was no better than Mr. Axton, and she still hated the class.
After Rylen’s death, Ana was afraid to return. The class had been in the middle of critiquing Rylen and she wasn�
�t sure she would be able to continue. But she had been surprised, first when she walked in and then when the lesson started.
Miss Hyster had stated Mr. Axton would not be returning and there would be no further discussion on the matter. Ana found the timing suspicious and wondered if his disappearance was related to Rylen’s death. She tried to convince herself it was just a coincidence, but the thought kept nagging at her.
The second surprise came when Ana opened her tab. All mention of Rylen had disappeared. The entire set of notes she had dictated, the report she had been preparing, even the sketch of the Pan-phaco was gone. It was as if Rylen had never existed. When Ana raised her head, she saw Miss Hyster setting up the vid-tab for a new vid-recording. It opened to reveal a different student battling one of the island’s creatures. She found it startling that none of her classmates seemed to notice or care. They immediately starting jeering with Miss Hyster joining in. Ana found the way Rylen seemed to have been erased extremely frightening.
Today’s class was set to be another vid-recording. Ana was able to handle the days after the class viewed a battle, but the vids still left her feeling sick. She watched the most outspoken students reduced almost to tears when it was their turn and couldn’t understand why they kept at it. Instead, she watched critically and prepared reports which received excellent grades. She was sure her detailed observances were the reason she was called on so often, but no longer cared how upset her classmates got.
Ana placed her tab in front of her and waited for the vid-recording to begin. She wondered what was taking so long and pursed her lips while drumming her fingers impatiently.
“Ah, there you are, Mr. Corvus,” Miss Hyster said. “We were just about to begin without you.”
“Sorry, ma’am. I got lost. It won’t happen again.”
Ana’s head snapped around. She recognized the voice and her stomach dropped at the sight of the new student. Mr. Corvus was Jan, and he was standing awkwardly in the doorway, seeming unsure where to go.
“See that it doesn’t,” Miss Hyster said, turning back to the vid-tab. “You will not be granted a waiver for being late again. Now find a seat so we can begin.”
SHATTERED Page 19