SHATTERED

by S. C. Deutsch

  “Piero, what’s going on? Ana has been very closed-mouthed about a lot of things and I’m deeply concerned.”

  “Tell me what Ana told you about how she ended up at the Academy,” Ana’s father said, coming to a stop. “She hasn’t told me everything either, so I want to see if what she told you will fill in some of the gaps.”

  “Only that she was given a choice that wasn’t really a choice. That she had been specifically chosen, but she didn’t know for what. And that she was told that it was unheard of for someone as young as she is to be sent there, which I told her was a lie.”

  “Did she tell you who chose her?”

  “No. But I know who it was.”

  “Who?”

  “Vice Premier Drake. She refused to name him, but her reaction was enough to confirm my suspicions.”

  “Vice Premier Drake has taken a special interest in my daughter,” Ana’s father said, sighing heavily. “I’m certain he’s grooming her for some sort of mission, although I’ve been unable to discover what it is. The fact she was pushed ahead tells me there’s a sense of urgency to it, which scares me. I have all my contacts working overtime and we’ve heard nothing, not even a rumor.”

  “I’ve asked my superiors to look into it, too,” Jan said. “They’ve also heard nothing. I’ve tried to bring it up, but Ana keeps pushing it away. She claims she doesn’t know what’s coming and can’t deal with it right now.”

  “My daughter can be so stubborn sometimes,” Ana’s father said. “She believes that whatever is going to happen to her, it can’t be worse than what she’s already been through. And I can’t convince her otherwise.”

  “Neither can I,” Jan said, scuffing his feet. “She gets mad and either walks away or clams up. I’ve tried to convince her she’s in serious danger, but she keeps blowing it off.”

  “Jan, did you know this before? Is that why you followed her?”

  Jan had the grace to blush. He had followed Ana because he was worried. But it was more than that.

  “No. Ana made a vow before she left the island the first time. She came back to try and talk to me about it. I saw her right before she left the second time. I offered her a way out, telling her she could come with me. She refused, telling me she had made other vows since then. I told her not to go but she insisted her first vow was more important than anything else, even me. I fought with myself after she left. I had my superiors to answer to, but I was deeply worried. I knew there was a good chance she was going to be sent to the Academy. I realized I had to go after her. I would never forgive myself if something happened.”

  “Did she tell her what that vow was?” Ana’s father asked, worried Ana was still going after the Premier.

  “She plans on saving the children from the island.”

  Ana’s father stared. This was new. And extremely dangerous.

  “And her other vows?” he asked seriously.

  “She told me she intended to kill Premier Raven but wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it. She refused to tell me the third, saying it was personal.”

  “Jan, what did you tell the government in the second report you submitted?”

  “I admitted Ana was breaking the rules about Jax. I told them she let me see the animal and that I regularly spent time with them. Ana told me to tell them. I followed her one night and Jax saw me. Ana flipped when I showed myself, but I told her I would just tell the government that Jax knows me.”

  “What were you doing with Jax?”

  “Ana and Jax are learning something called sign language. She attends a session with Jax to try and learn the signs. But in the garden, she’s working with Jax on more difficult things. Jax understands quite a bit but is only able to answer in simple words. Ana thinks it’s because the Ra-murs are so literal Jax can’t form complex sentences, even though she knows what she wants to say.”

  “And you’re learning it also?”

  “Yes, although I’m way behind the two of them. I told Ana it’s a great way to send messages without others understanding what you’re saying. But I’m worried. I know Vice Premier Drake is involved with her sessions with Jax. Ana claims they want to see what the Ra-murs are capable of, but I believe there’s more to it than that. Unfortunately, Ana has no choice, so she’s deliberately hiding how much Jax has learned.”

  “That’s why she stopped you,” Ana’s father said. “She doesn’t want anyone to know how far along she is with Jax. Has she given you the digi-drive?”

  “Digi-drive? What digi-drive?” Jan was lying, remembering what Ana had said on the beach, but felt he should keep the information to himself.

  “How about any papers?” Ana’s father asked, ignoring Jan’s question.

  “No, she’s given me nothing. Why?”

  “Did Ana mention obtaining information she’s scared to have?”

  “She said she received two things between her first and second trips and hid them away. Is that what you’re talking about?”

  “Yes, but you are not to breathe a word. Ana came into possession of a digi-drive. I have no idea how she got it. She claims to have never viewed it. She says the person who gave it to her was trustworthy and the information on it could get her killed. The other object was a journal, detailing my third stay on the island.”

  Jan’s head jerked up. Ana never mentioned her father had been to the island.

  “Yes, Jan,” Ana’s father said simply. “I spent time on the island. I went through the alternate test. And I was camp leader. I’m well aware of what you were doing on your third trip.”

  “I never told them anything bad about your daughter,” Jan said quickly, worried her father was going to hurt him. “I swear. I only told them things they would already have known, sprinkled with a few conversations that wouldn’t get her in trouble.”

  “Jan,” Ana’s father sighed, “I’m placing my trust in you. My daughter has already, and I trust her. I’ve warned you what will happen if I find out you’re lying. And I have my own history as camp leader.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Jan said, formality creeping back. “Why would you think Ana gave those items to me?”

  “Because she said she would. She claimed she had spoken with some people who worked for the same people you do. I wonder why she still has them.”

  “I wish I could answer, but Ana never mentioned them.”

  “Let’s see if she says anything over the next couple of days. But remember. Not one word about it.”

  “My lips are sealed. I’ll let you know if she says anything.”

  The pair re-entered the house, grateful for the warm air that greeted them. Jan followed Ana’s father, thanking him after being shown to the spare room. Plopping on the bed, he placed his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling as he thought about Ana and her secrets.

  The nightmare sent Ana out of her room, just like it always had. The dog-bear had reappeared even though she had killed the real one. Tonight, it chased her through a fog-shrouded forest, Rylen riding it while shouting obscenities. Ana had no weapon and attempted to flee, only waking when the dog-bear tackled her, slicing her back to ribbons. Sweating, she peeled off the blankets and headed to the kitchen. Quietly making a cup of tea, she debated whether to go back upstairs or not. The decision to stay won, and Ana headed towards her father’s office. The books had been calling since she first walked in and she couldn’t suppress the urge to go to them. She was half-way across the living room before she realized someone was sitting on the couch. Ana came around, placed her tea on the table, then curled up next to the silent person.

  “Jan,” she asked quietly, taking his hand in hers and feeling how cold it was. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, Ana,” Jan replied, looking over and giving her a sad smile. “Nights are tough sometimes.”

  “You, too, huh?” Ana said, releasing his hand and pulling the heavy throw over them. “I don’t sleep well most nights either. It’s harder in school and I usually end up studying if I can’t go back to
bed. Here, I often roam the house or find something to occupy my time.”

  Jan slid his arm around Ana, allowing her to curl alongside. Snuggling, they watched wispy clouds race across the moonlit sky, casting shadows on the frosted trees below.

  “Ana, what does your father do? For the government, I mean.”

  Ana hesitated, knowing it wasn’t something she was supposed talk about. Jan sensed her hesitation and sighed, looking at her with a slight frown.

  “I know he’s highly placed,” he said. “One look at this house told me that. But what does he do?”

  “He’s a historian,” Ana said, caving. “He studies history for the government.”

  “I thought it might be something like that,” Jan said. “Do you know what type of history?”

  Ana wrestled with herself. Part of her knew she shouldn’t tell Jan. But the books, the glorious, beautiful books, were still calling. Rising, she pulled Jan to his feet, motioning him to silence.

  “I don’t think your father would be too happy if he found you in my room,” Jan whispered, pulling back slightly.

  Ana shot him a dirty look, stopping in front of the office. Fooling the lock, she led Jan inside and quietly closed the door. Jan gave a soft whistle, turning in a circle as his gaze took in the books that lined the walls and covered the tables. Ana stepped to the nearest shelf and ran her hands across them as if greeting an old friend. Jan came alongside, tilting his head to see the titles. Running a finger along each spine, he read the titles aloud, wonder and awe tinging his voice.

  “Ana,” He whispered, “What are these books about? Fahrenheit 451. Watership Down. Atlas Shrugged. Such odd names.”

  Jan went to remove one and Ana stopped him. Leading him to the table, she picked up one of the books there instead. Opening it to a random page, she handed it to him, letting him read the forbidden words.

  Jan spent some time reading, turning the pages carefully. Eventually, he stopped and gaped, a look of horror mixed with anger on his face. Ana had handed Jan the book 1984 and the passage he read was remarkably like the monitoring their own government did. Closing the book, he noticed the title and looked at Ana again, this time slightly bewildered.

  “Is this history?” he asked, frowning as he turned the book over in his hands. “Is it what happened before the Great War?”

  “No,” Ana said, shaking her head. “I asked if it was history and was told absolutely not. But after reading the entire thing, I’m wondering if the government used it to set up our present society. There are too many similarities for it to be a coincidence.”

  Jan put the book back, then glanced at the desk. Noticing the marks on several of the pages, he turned back to her, his eyes now serious.

  “What exactly does your father do? And should we be in here?”

  “To answer your second question, what do you think?” Ana said. “And to answer the first, I told you, he’s a historian.”

  “Yes, but what exactly does he do?”

  “He studies books from before the war, checking to see if they are suitable for reading. And he looks to see if there are any similarities between them.”

  “Why did you show me this? We could be killed just for being here.”

  “I know. But I had to, Jan. I had to show you what our government is doing. This is worse than what we thought. These books open a person’s eyes. That’s why they’re hidden from us. The government doesn’t want us to form ideas. To realize they’re not safeguarding us. And most of all, to believe we can unite and overthrow them.”

  “Have you read any of these?”

  “Just the one you’re holding. I can’t take any out of this room. It’s bad enough I snuck in here and read one. I had planned on doing it again tonight.”

  “Why, Ana? Why are your risking everything just to read these books?”

  Ana looked at her hands. She wasn’t sure she could make Jan understand. She knew her father did, although he would be extremely upset if he caught her in here.

  “They call to me,” she said softly. “I can’t explain it. It’s like an itch that doesn’t go away until I pick one up. When I do, I lose myself in the story. The book you’re holding kept me up for days. It scared me. But it also gave me ideas. I want to do what my father does. Because if I have to work for the government, doing this allows me to read these glorious creations.”

  “You and I both know Vice Premier Drake has something else in mind for you. You need to stop avoiding what I’m saying. Your future, as much as you may wish it, does not lie in this room.”

  Ana looked at Jan, tears in her eyes. She knew what he said was true. But when she entered this room and started reading, reality went away and for just a little while, she dreamed of something different, something better. Jan saw her tears start to fall and gathered her in his arms. Holding her tightly, he smoothed her hair while softly reassuring her. Ana cried silently, burying her face in his chest until the storm passed.

  “Jan, I know it will never happen. But the hope that someday I could read books helps me deal with the reality of my life. It’s why I still have my father’s papers. I couldn’t bear to give them up.”

  “Your father’s papers?” Jan asked, feigning ignorance.

  “It was one of the things I came back to the island to talk to you about. He kept a record of his time as camp leader. He called it a journal. I tore the pages out of the cover and hid them.”

  “What do the papers say.”

  “Not here, Jan. It’s bad enough I bought you in here and told you what I have.”

  “We need to go, Ana. Before someone finds out.”

  Ana nodded and followed Jan, taking a last look full of longing before closing the door.

  Jan was back on the couch and Ana curled alongside. Drawing the blanket over them, Jan held her, listening quietly as her breathing evened out and she fell asleep. Staring out the window, he wondered how he could possibly keep her safe.

  Chapter 16

  Month 3

  Week 1

  The smell of fresh coffee filled the air. Ana raised her head and blinked several times, slightly disorientated. Looking over, she saw Jan sound asleep, head thrown back and mouth partially open. Ana moaned and scrambled to her feet, mortified her father had seen her curled up on Jan’s chest. Her movements woke Jan, and he raised his head, shaking it slightly. Jax had joined them sometime during the night and now peeked over the edge of the throw, eyeing Ana blearily. Ana fled, running upstairs and slamming her door so hard the walls shook. Jan looked at Jax in confusion. Jax shook her furry head slightly and trotted to the kitchen. Jan shrugged and went to the spare room to freshen up.

  “Sleepyheads are finally awake, I see,” Ana’s father said to Jax as way of greeting.

  Jax hopped on a chair, and helped herself to some orange slices. Ana’s father went back to preparing breakfast and had just finished laying everything out when Jan wandered in, still slightly groggy.

  “Good morning, sir,” he said, offering a slight bow.

  “Jan, I told you, we’re all friends here.”

  Jan sat down and poured a cup of coffee. Stirring a little sugar in, he blew over the rim and took a sip.

  “Sorry,” Jan said. “Old habits die hard and I’m not fully awake yet.”

  “What happened out there?” Ana’s father asked, seating himself across from Jan. “How come Ana ran upstairs and slammed her door?”

  “Got me. I woke up to see her standing at the edge of the couch, a weird look on her face. She looked at me, then the kitchen, and took off.” Frowning, Jan took another sip of coffee. “Come to think of it, she never even said good morning.”

  “Hmmm, I’ll have to ask her if she ever shows for breakfast. Help yourself. There’s plenty.”

  “Sir, I mean Piero, I’m sorry you found us on the couch. We both had a nightmare and sat talking for a while. We must have fallen asleep. Nothing happened, I swear.”

  “I believe you.” Ana’s father sighed, putting down his m
uffin. “Ana often roams the house at night. It’s not the first time I’ve found her on the couch. I’m not surprised you do the same thing. I think it comes with the territory.”

  Ana peeked into the kitchen, then hesitantly made her way to the table. Kissing her father, she slid into her chair but refused to meet his gaze.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she said softly, her cheeks reddening. “I had a bad dream. Jan and I were talking. I must have fallen asleep. But nothing happened. I swear!”

  Ana’s father didn’t say anything, just gazed at her sternly. When she heard Jan stifle a laugh, she scowled and jammed a piece of muffin in her mouth.

  “Good morning, Ana,” Jan said. “Nice of you to join us.”

  “Don’t you start,” Ana retorted around a mouthful of food. “You never should have let me stay there.”

  Jan gave Ana a bland look and she stuck her tongue out at him. Ana’s father laughed and patted her arm.

  “It’s fine, hon,” he said. “Finish your breakfast. I want to show you something.”

  After breakfast was done, Ana and her father bundled up and headed onto the back deck while Jan showered. After they got comfortable, Ana’s father pointed slightly to the left, handing her a vid-magnifier.

  “Tell me what you see,” he said.

  “Nothing,” Ana responded. “What am I looking for?”

  “Keep looking,” he said, unwilling to give it away.

  Ana scanned the area and eventually caught a glimpse of something in the tree. Zooming in, she was delighted to see a hawk in a large nest and watched as it spread its wings, ruffling them slightly before lifting off. Smiling, she followed it, mesmerized, and reluctantly put the vid-magnifier down when the hawk was no longer in sight.

  “Ana, are you still certain you can trust Jan?” her father asked, suddenly changing topics.

  “Yes, Daddy,” Ana answered without hesitation. “Why do you ask?”

  “I want to make absolutely certain he can be trusted before we go to Rosita’s. If you have even the slightest doubt, we won’t go. Okay?”