Leviathan's Lament

by Kaye Draper

  “Uh, Grey,” Luca said hesitantly. “This probably goes without saying, but...I don’t think you should tell anyone you can do that whole...shifting...thing.”

  Grey nodded, too tired to think about the ramifications of her newly discovered ability. Pontus' words haunted her. Odd new power indeed. But fuck if she was going to go running out to tell her future father-in-law or whatever he was that suddenly she could grow a dick on command. She was pretty sure he’d be worse than any father-with-a-shotgun, now that Luca was a girl.

  Luca sighed and settled her closer, stroking the damp, tangled curls from her face. “Grey, that was...new and amazing for me. But...I love you no matter what your form, you know,” she said softly.

  Grey folded her hands beneath her chin. “I know. It’s the same for me. You’re...part of me, my heart and soul, that’s all that matters.” It was getting hard to keep her eyes open. Finally, Grey gave up trying and fell asleep in the sand and surf in the arms of her sea sprite.

  OUT BEYOND THE MOON -kissed beach, a sleek head bobbed above the surface of the water. Round, luminous eyes reflected the moonlight for a moment. Then the creature was gone, with little more than a flip of webbed foot to show that it had ever been there.

  Gar glided beneath the dark water, slipping into the cool shadows that were his home. Even the touch of the moonlight had left him feeling exposed. But here in the shadows, lulled on the cool waves, this was safety. He hated that he’d had to expose himself to the surface at all. But it had been worth it. He’d finally seen something the sirens would find interesting. Maybe interesting enough to free him, to give him back his home in the deep waters.

  The pretty half-breed girl—the one with the huge mammaries—wasn’t what she seemed. Wouldn’t they be pleased to hear that? Oh, they would squeal, and squall, and rage. Perhaps it wasn’t wise to give them this information after all...but eventually they would go after the fire-haired half-mammal and leave him alone. He grinned and water swept through his razor-sharp teeth as he dove deeper, calling up the sea spout that would take him to the sirens’ pod. Yes. He would be free.

  He was right. The queen of the sirens was a terrifying creature, so cold and calculating. So greedy for things that didn’t matter. And she hated everything male, except for her decorations and pleasure slaves. Gar did his best to keep from sneering, head down and a subservient expression on his face. He’d been forced to spy for them ever since they pulled him from his home in the depths, near the place they called Etna island. At first, they wanted to know the movements of their estranged sister, the one they called Arianna. But now they were obsessed with watching the red-headed half-breed. Why, he didn’t know, and he didn’t care. He just wanted to deliver his message and go home. He was happier being beneath their notice.

  The queen’s eyes glittered with malice and greed as he relayed what he’d seen. Then the whole lot of them started yapping on about how they had missed an opportunity before, how they could use the male siren, things about bloodlines and power that he was glad he didn’t understand. He blocked it all out and tried to think about the deep-dwelling fish he would feast on, the sightless things in the dark of the ocean, the crunch of shell and scale, and the comfortable shadows.

  He shifted from foot to foot as he waited to be dismissed. Finally, the queen noticed he was still there. She waved a hand dismissively, her mouth twisted up like she’d smelled something foul. “You may go. We will call you again when you’re needed.”

  Gar let out a relived breath and hurried out of the chamber, his webbed feet flapping loudly against the smooth tile floor. He shuddered at all the dryness. Once he reached the exit, he flung himself into the sea to escape the nasty, controlling creatures who used magic to make people do what they wanted. He took their disorienting sea spout back to the island, then dove deep, seeking out his home in an underwater cave where no light burned his eyes, and no air could touch his amphibian-like skin.

  As he stroked downward, toward his home, he felt a ripple in the water, like a shockwave. He had a bad feeling—a dark, sad, scary, hide-before-it-eats-you feeling—as he passed the “bad place.” It always felt not-right here, but never enough to completely scare him away. After all, if others felt the not-right feeling they wouldn’t pass the “bad place” and find his cave. But today was different. Today he swam faster and felt like a fish on the surface, hoping the bird in the air above didn’t see him.

  He swept around an outcropping of rock and the bad feeling got worse. Turning, he froze, drifting on the currents for a startled second, his cold heart not beating at all. The rock outcropping before him opened its eye, the black orb glowing with dark violet power, its white slit-pupil bigger than Gar’s entire body.

  The eye blinked, and Gar dove, swimming as fast as he could, swearing he’d never leave his cave again.

  Chapter 11

  The first earthquake was startling. The tremors were mild, and they barely lasted a few seconds. Grey had never felt an earthquake before, so it was kind of a shock. They all gathered in shared living room of the townhouse to exclaim over what had just happened and pull up news stories on their phones to confirm that they weren’t imagining it.

  The news said quakes were rare for the area, but they did happen once in a while.

  The next couple bursts of tremors were stronger, but not as scary, since Grey knew what she was feeling this time. Still, something niggled in the back of her mind. It would be just her luck that some new catastrophe was looming, just waiting to disrupt her life.

  Luca ruffled Grey’s hair, startling her out of her moping. When Grey glanced up at her, the taller woman bent, pressing a soft kiss to Grey’s lips. Grey blushed, but returned the kiss. Their relationship felt weirdly new and old at the same time. It was still sinking in, the gears in Grey’s mind shifting to accommodate this new normal. But gods, she was so happy she’d managed to overcome all her doubts. Because everything just felt...right...with Luca back in her life this way.

  “You look nice,” Grey said, hating how stupid that sounded the minute the words left her mouth. Luca didn’t look nice , she looked hot. But some part of Grey had this stupid tendency to think that because she was in a female body now, she had to be...polite? Like she had to change the way she talked or acted, just because she now had boobs. Or because Luca did. It was so stupid, but it was a hard impulse to override.

  Luca ran a hand through her jet-black hair, brushing back the loose strands that had escaped her ponytail. She was wearing low-slung skinny jeans that emphasized her long legs, and a tight black t-shirt with a zombie unicorn on it. The t-shirt slid up every now and then to offer a tantalizing hint of smooth white skin. Her piercings and the metal-studded leather wrist cuff she wore gave her a badass edge that was just too hot for words. She winked, her dark blue eyes rimmed in a dramatic splash of purple liner. “Even though I’m not a guy?"

  Grey rolled her eyes, but before she could comment, Matheus glided into the entryway looking like some exotic male escort ready to go trawling for a one-night stand in his dark, ass-hugging pants and blood red button-down. “Stop begging for compliments, Luca,” he drawled, we all know you’re way more attractive as a man-hating woman than you ever were as a dude.” He shook his head in mock sorrow. “Sometimes the world just isn’t fair.”

  Luca narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t be a dick. We weren’t ever going to happen either way.”

  Mat wrinkled his nose in disgust. “God, no. Don’t be gross.”

  Grey shook her head. Mat was a “down for anything” type of guy, and Luca had liked Grey’s male form well enough, but thinking of the two of them together was just weird. They really were like siblings.

  Matheus turned his attention on Grey and she felt her cheeks heat up. It just couldn’t be helped, when he went all sultry like that, damn it. “Grey, though. Sweetheart, you’re a whole different matter. You were just as hot either way. Offer still stands.” He winked.

  Grey turned away from that heated look to
pull on her shoes. With her short, wild curls, and her plain old t-shirt and jeans, she pretty much just looked like a plump tomboy. There was absolutely no reason for all that leering . She risked a sideways glance at Luca to see if Matheus’s flirting was pissing her off. Luca met her glance and raised an eyebrow, a wry smirk drawing up one corner of her wide mouth. “Oh, I definitely agree. I’d take Grey any way I could get her.”

  Even if that meant with other people involved? Grey swallowed hard and looked away.

  Ethan joined them and Grey stood, trying her best not to drool over the way his dark green t-shirt stretched over his muscular chest and showed off most of his intricate tattoos. “Hey, guys,” he said with a happy smile. Then his expression changed, and he glanced around. “What? Did I like...interrupt something? Why is Grey so red?”

  Grey rolled her eyes. “Because these two are complete degenerates,” she muttered.

  And because Grey herself seemed to have a little libido problem. The siren in her wanted to start singing in triumph whenever she was surrounded with all this hotness. The human in her wanted to run and hide from all the weird thoughts she was entertaining.

  Ethan gave her a bemused look. “Poor Grey. You still don’t get how amazing you are, do you?”

  Grey ran a hand through her hair. Running was sounding better and better. “What?”

  Ethan grinned, his sky-blue eyes twinkling, and Grey tried her best no to remember his soft, sweet kisses. “Of course we’re all gonna flirt with you. You’re adorable. ”

  Grey snorted. She might be a lot of things, but adorable wasn’t one of them. “You’re all morons,” she said, heading for the door.

  They followed her out into the warm night and piled into Luca’s old Monte Carlo. Grey missed the days when they could just go casually hang out at their favorite hole-in-the-wall. But it was getting harder and harder to go out without being interrupted by fans. It was a great problem to have, but sometimes it got old.

  Recently, they’d started hanging out at a newly renovated club downtown, one with semi-private rooms and bouncers to make sure they could have as much or as little privacy as they wanted. Most of the private rooms were used for parties and things like that, but there were a few celebrities or rich types that kept a room for when they decided to slum it on the island. Luca had called ahead, so their personal little corner room was waiting for them when they arrived. Abbie, Joy, and Cam joined them and Grey marveled at the changes that had occurred in her life over the past year. She never would have imagined, even six months ago, that she would be a member of a well-known rock band, requiring VIP treatment at clubs and actually enjoying a night out with her growing circle of friends.

  It just went to show you never really knew what life had in store for you.

  She let Abbie and the band convince her to dance a few songs, trading partners randomly and laughing harder than she had in ages, the faint buzz of alcohol and the low-level hum of her desire for her bandmates pulsing pleasantly in her blood.

  Luca used her dance to steal soft touches and glancing kisses, making Grey ache with need for a bit more privacy to explore this new version of them. Grey jumped around with Abbie until she felt like she was about to collapse, both of them exuberant and light with all the possibilities unfolding in front of them, now that the world had been set to rights. Matheus and Ethan stole Grey away for one song, caging her in between them, tormenting her with light touches and heated glances—and in Mat’s case, a few filthy whispered promises that made Grey’s whole body thrum with want.

  She came up for air at the end of that dance, pushing out from between her bandmates, her face red and her heart pounding, trying to rein in the sound of rushing waves that was drowning out all reason and demanding that she take what was hers , a sure sign that she was about to lose control of her stupid siren powers.

  Joy looked up at her when Grey flopped into the booth and chugged what was left of her beer. “Girl, you okay?” Her violet eyes were dancing with amusement. “You look like you’re about to spontaneously combust from all that hotness.”

  Grey groaned. “Just shut up. Mat’s bad enough. I don’t need you pitching in.”

  Joy laughed. “Right, like any girl in your place would complain.” She rolled her eyes, then darted a sly glance toward where Ethan, Luca, and Mat were all dancing to some ridiculous dubstep monstrosity, hamming it up like there was no tomorrow. “I’d be the tuna in that sandwich in a heartbeat.”

  Grey put her hands over her ears. “Stop.” Fuck, she was worse than Abbie some days.

  And speaking of her disinhibited best friend...Cameron and Abbie had drifted off to dance by themselves, and Grey smirked at the sight.

  Joy sighed and stood. “Well, I might be the odd one out tonight, but that won’t stop me from taking advantage of your hang-ups.” She winked and sauntered over to Mat, edging her way in and saying something that made the tall guy crow with laughter.

  Grey shook her head and left the private room. She flagged down a waitress on the way and requested more water and a round of shots for their room, then risked a trip to the bathroom. She emerged a few minutes later, face cooler and after signing only a couple of autographs. She was almost back to their private room when someone called her name.

  She turned and her eyebrows shot up at the vision that was approaching her. Steffen, Lucifer’s old lead singer, was a complete ass. It wasn’t fair he came in that package. He hurried over to Grey, long legs encased in leather pants, his fitted t-shirt hugging his long torso and broad chest. His long blond hair was braided over one shoulder and he was wearing actual gold glitter on his eyelids.

  “Gods were bad enough,” Grey muttered to herself. “Now I have to deal with the fucking king of the fairies.”

  Apparently, Steffen heard that last bit as he drew close. He frowned down at her, his brown eyes narrowing. “You’re really going to make gay jokes? After I watched you and Luca play tonsil hockey when you were both guys?”

  Grey rolled her eyes. Her interest was definitely piqued now, but no way was she going to ask Steffen about his sexual preferences—or that little hint of bitterness in the guy’s voice. “What do you want?”

  The blond shrugged, his eyes darting to the side. “I just...wanted to say hello?”

  Grey gaped at him. Okay, so maybe Grey had imbibed in a few too many shots and passed out somewhere and this was all some sort of weird, drunken dream.

  Steffen glanced at her and quirked a wry smile. “Uh, yeah. That sounds really dumb.” Someone jostled into him and he staggered toward Grey, narrowly avoiding crashing into her. “Look...can we go somewhere and talk. Please?”

  Grey crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at the idiot.

  He flushed and shook his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his ridiculously tight pants. “No. I didn’t mean that to sound like a damned pickup line. I really need to talk to you.”

  Grey sighed and turned away, headed toward Lucifer ’s private room. “Come on. You can say hi to all the other idiots while you’re at it.”

  Steffen followed her into the room and Grey could feel the moment people noticed, all eyes slowly landing on Grey’s new companion, brows arching, whispering. “This is going to be fun,” Grey muttered, leading Steffen to the currently empty booth in the corner of the room.

  She snagged a water and flopped into the seat, propping her elbows on the table while she chugged the non-alcoholic drink. Some sobriety might help at the moment. Maybe. If not, there was still the tray of shots sitting there. “Okay, talk.”

  Steffen slid into the booth opposite her. He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth and made an uncertain face that just shouldn’t be so damned unsettlingly vulnerable when she was trying so hard to hate his guts. “Okay,” he said finally, darting a glance around the room to make sure everyone else was still dancing and pointedly ignoring him. “So, you know Pontus helped me out after...that thing with the siren.”

  Grey nodded and let out a sl
ow breath. Her mother had mind-fucked Steffen, kidnapped him, and probably forced him into mindless sex acts. Good times. “Yeah,” she said, sipping more water.

  Steffen put his big hands on the table and started twisting the gold ring on his thumb, his eyes downcast. “Well, he hooked me up with this guy. Um...a therapist. But he isn’t...completely human.

  That made sense, and Grey was suddenly really happy that such a thing existed. She knew Luca had checked in on Steffen a few times to make sure he was okay. They had been good friends before Steffen got himself booted from the band. But Grey hadn’t felt like she knew the guy enough to really offer him the support she would have for anyone else. “That’s...really cool. I’m glad you’re getting help.”

  Gods, this was one weird conversation.

  Steffen lifted his brown eyes to meet hers, and for once, that veneer of cold asshole was gone. It made Grey really uncomfortable, but she thought maybe she was finally seeing the real Steffen. “It really fucked me up,” he said, so soft Grey could barely hear him over the throbbing music around them. “Just working with a normal person wouldn’t have helped. I wouldn’t have been able to tell them about...the mind control, and stuff.” He shrugged and looked away. “Anyway, he said I was doing so well that I should try some...exposure?”

  Grey blinked at him. “Exposure?”

  He nodded, his cheeks flushing faintly. “Uh, yeah. And since you’re a...well, like her ...I thought maybe it would help to talk to you. And...fuck this sounds so lame.” He twisted his ring so hard it was amazing he didn’t pull his thumb right off his damned hand. “Well, I think I need to be around you.”

  Grey arched her eyebrows, trying to process it all. “So, like, you want to be around the thing that triggers all your bad memories and trauma? And that thing is me?” Just fucking great.

  He licked his lips. “Yes. And no. I don’t know.” He left off messing with his ring in favor of toying with the end of his braid. “I...please don’t take this the wrong way. But I dream about you sometimes. The guy you. And in my dreams, you’re singing to me and it drowns out her song in my head, makes it so I can breathe again.”