The Seaside Angel

by Evie Grace

  ‘Ruby, I’m begging you to come home with me.’

  ‘How can I?’ Ruby’s voice quavered as Mrs Allspice covered her with a blanket and opened the curtain. ‘You don’t want us getting under your feet.’

  ‘Look at this place – it isn’t healthy.’

  ‘You can’t frighten me. It’s all right, really it is. Look at all the children Mr Allspice and his wife have brought up.’

  ‘It’s at least twelve and countin’,’ Mr Allspice cut in, from a veil of pipe smoke.

  ‘Mr Allspice, it’s thirteen …’ his wife corrected him. ‘You’ve forgotten one of the littluns again.’

  ‘What am I going to tell Matron? I’ve told her you’ve been indisposed …’

  ‘Tell her I’ve moved away, gone back to Canterbury.’

  ‘Think of the baby, your daughter. We can care for her between us. I’ll support you. I’ll do anything to have you back at home … safe …’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Ruby’s eyes filled with tears.

  ‘She’s made up ’er mind,’ Mrs Allspice said. ‘I reckon you should go now. They need to rest, both of the little darlin’s.’ Hannah had softened slightly towards Mrs Allspice. She was a devoted, fierce mother if not a gentle one. ‘Don’t you worry about ’em. We won’t let ’em out of our sight.’

  Hannah gave in. She pressed her fingers to her lips then touched them to the baby’s forehead, before leaning across to kiss Ruby’s cheek.

  ‘I’ll be back soon. Take care of yourself and the child. Send word as soon as you decide to come home and I’ll be here to collect you. I love you, Ruby.’

  ‘I love you too …’ she whispered.

  Wishing her goodbye, Hannah left the house in Ramsgate.

  Ruby was in good health and the child, although small and frail in appearance, was feeding. Call it her nurse’s instinct, but she wasn’t unduly worried for them at this stage.

  However, when she returned to Margate, the more she thought about it, the more her fears began to grow. Why would the Allspices want to look after Ruby and her child when they had so many of their own? They lived in poverty and squalor – more mouths to feed would only drag them down further.

  It wasn’t her only concern. In the morning, she would have to see Matron and tell her that Ruby wouldn’t be returning to her post. She couldn’t keep her sister’s shame a secret any longer.

  The next day, she went in to the house early and knocked on the door of Matron’s apartment.

  ‘Good morning, Sister,’ Matron said as she opened the door.

  ‘I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour.’

  ‘I’ve been up and dressed for a while – life is not a bed of roses, more’s the pity. I have a meeting with the Board to attend later. I’m glad you’ve come to find me. I wanted to speak with you last night, but you’d already gone home. This is about your sister, is it not? I presume she’s indisposed yet again … Mrs Merry is short-handed and pressing me to take on a replacement. With patients needing to be bathed daily, her absence is most inconvenient.’ Mrs Knowles paused for a moment. ‘Oh dear. You’d better come in.’

  It was the first time Hannah had seen inside Matron’s private rooms. The parlour was well-appointed, decorated in pale blue and cream, with likenesses of people she assumed were family members, along with some of the dignitaries who had honoured the infirmary over the years.

  ‘Do sit down.’ Matron looked towards the carriage clock which ticked quietly but insistently on the mantel. There were twenty minutes before Hannah needed to be on the ward. ‘Would you like some tea?”

  Hannah declined, but Matron poured two cups from the pot on the tray beside her anyway. She added milk from the jug, along with a lump of sugar, stirred it and handed it to her. The cup rattled on the saucer as Hannah held it on her lap.

  ‘My sister won’t be returning to the house,’ she began.

  ‘She has left Margate?’

  The truth spilled out: Ruby had confessed that she was with child.

  ‘I’ll write my letter of resignation later …’

  ‘Why would you want to do that?’

  ‘I haven’t been able to give my patients my full attention over the past few days, and of course, my sister’s reputation … well, it’s mine by association.’

  ‘You’ve hidden your concerns well. I wouldn’t have known if Doc—’ Matron broke off abruptly, then went on, ‘if someone hadn’t mentioned that you seemed out of sorts. How is your sister?’

  ‘She’s staying with a family … you know of them: the Allspices.’

  ‘The potty-mouthed parents, and the incontinent ropewalker with the incurable case of the wandering hands?’

  ‘The very same.’

  ‘That is very unfortunate.’ Matron raised one eyebrow which continued to hover as Hannah told her a little more of the story.

  ‘I found her confined at their home. I begged her to come back with me, but she refused, so I left Mrs Allspice attending to her and the infant. Now I don’t know what to do.’

  Hannah sipped at the tea.

  ‘I suspected there was something wrong – we all did, but what a fall from grace!’ Matron exclaimed. ‘I think you must let her make up her own mind – she’ll be back in her own sweet time.’

  ‘You don’t know my sister. She’s hot-headed, stubborn and easily led. The Allspices seem to have a hold on her.’

  ‘That’s obvious, isn’t it? I didn’t think he had an ounce of good in him, but Mr Allspice has taken responsibility for his child and its mother at least.’

  ‘Oh …’ Hannah almost blurted out the truth, that he wasn’t the father, but Mrs Knowles went on, ‘One has to hope that a man with such an injury won’t be able to father any more children. I know that Mr Allspice’s harem is a rather unconventional arrangement, but under the circumstances, it isn’t a bad thing. It leaves you free to continue working here – the last thing I want is to lose a sister of your calibre.’

  ‘People will point fingers,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Without doubt. They’ll gossip about your sister’s fall from grace and they’ll examine your conduct more closely for a while, and then they’ll move on to another topic of scandal.’

  Hannah couldn’t help flinching at the word.

  ‘Why don’t you move back into the nurses’ home? There’s no reason for you to go on living out.’

  Only that she had grown used to her new-found independence, having time away from the hospital, and being able to go wherever she liked – and with whom – without scrutiny, she thought.

  ‘I’ll give it a little while, in case Ruby does decide to come back,’ she stated. ‘I’ll have to give my landlady notice anyway.’

  ‘Of course. In the meantime, if there’s anything I can do …’

  ‘Thank you. I’m very grateful for your understanding.’

  ‘Just remember, these troubles will pass.’ Matron looked out towards Westbrook Bay. ‘Worse things happen at sea.’

  Hannah left for the ward, wondering if she should have enlightened Matron about the identity of the father of Ruby’s child. She felt bad for not telling her the whole story – half the truth was often a whole lie.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Enough to Make the Angels Weep

  Sitting up after work in front of the fire at her lodgings, Hannah read and reread the letter which had arrived while she’d been out that day. It was dated the eighth of April, with the Allspices’ Ramsgate address in the top corner written in Ruby’s neat copperplate hand. There was a single blot of ink, nothing in particular to indicate the writer’s state of mind.

  Dear Hannah,

  I hope this letter finds you well. Mercy is a little doll – I called her Mercy after Ma.

  I have little else to say, except to beg your forgiveness for what I have done.

  Your loving sister,

  Ruby

  Hannah was disappointed that it hadn’t been a message imploring her to come and collect Ruby and the infant and bring t
hem home, but at least she’d been in touch. Hannah planned to call on her on Friday afternoon, but in the meantime, she sat back on the chair and stared into the flames, wondering how they had come to this. Following one’s vocation left one open to loneliness: she could see that now.

  It was past ten when a knock at the door disturbed her reverie.

  ‘Ruby? Is it you?’ She leapt up and flung the door open, to find Alice standing there. Her expression filled her with dread.

  ‘You must come quickly,’ Alice said. ‘It’s your sister.’

  ‘Where is she?’ Hannah exclaimed, grabbing her cape from the hook and throwing it over her shoulders. ‘Tell me. Where is little Mercy?’

  ‘I have no news of her, I’m afraid. Here. Take my arm.’

  Hannah hurried along with Alice, clinging on to her for dear life. Having seen her sister with the baby, she’d thought that Ruby was on an even keel, but knowing how her moods swung from one extreme to the other, changing direction like the wind and blowing her off course, she chastised herself for not having called on her again sooner.

  ‘Doctor Clifton and Mr Rose – the night porter – are with her. A couple walking along the beach found her. They sent for help, but …’ Alice struggled to catch her breath, unable to walk and talk at the same time.

  As they hurried along the front, Hannah caught sight of a group of shadowy figures milling around at the edge of one of the seawater reservoirs with lanterns and matches. She let go of Alice’s arm, picked up her skirts and ran, pushing her way through the crowd.

  ‘No, miss, you can’t go there.’ Somebody pulled her back. ‘There’s a drowned girl – it’s no sight for a lady’s eyes.’

  ‘She’s my sister,’ Hannah hissed. ‘Let me pass.’

  ‘Then you have my every sympathy,’ the man said, releasing his grip. ‘Let the lady through.’

  The moonlight glinted across the water, illuminating two more figures who were kneeling over a body clothed in sodden garments.

  ‘Ruby! Whatever’s happened, whatever’s been going on in that mind of yours, there’s nothing that can’t be resolved.’ Hannah sank to her knees and chafed Ruby’s hand, trying to bring the blood back into it, while James checked for a pulse at the side of her neck, and the night porter sat back on his heels, his head in his hands. ‘Please, my darling sister, wake up.’ She could hear breathing, but it was only the sea. She turned to James. ‘Why is she so cold?’

  Slowly, he shook his head.

  ‘Do something!’ she urged as the tears began to flow. ‘There must be something you can do to save her.’

  ‘I’ve tried,’ he said softly. ‘I’m sorry. When I arrived, I thought I could feel the weakest of pulses, but it soon faded. Believe me, Hannah, I have tried my best, but her lungs were filled with water and her spirit already flown.’

  She watched him gently close her sister’s eyes and rest her head on his coat, folded into a makeshift pillow. She leaned across and lifted the damp tresses of Ruby’s hair away from her face, as she’d done on the day that she’d given birth to her child. She looked more beautiful than ever, and for the first time in a long while, she appeared at peace. Hannah bent over and pressed her lips to her sister’s cheek.

  ‘I love you,’ she whispered.

  ‘’Tis such a pity – she’s only a girl, a tiny little thing. Can’t be more than twelve or thirteen,’ someone muttered.

  ‘Oh, Hannah.’ She felt Alice’s hand on her shoulder.

  ‘What was she doing here?’ Hannah said, kneeling up. ‘Where is the child?’ She pressed her hand to her mouth to quell a wave of nausea as she looked across the reservoir, the sand and the black sea. ‘Ruby, what have you done?’ Remembering the letter, she turned to Alice. ‘She asked me to forgive her. I thought she meant she was sorry for running away to the Allspices, but no, she was asking me to forgive her for this …’ Hannah sobbed as she got to her feet. ‘I have to find the child – I have to find Mercy.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ Alice offered.

  ‘Miss Huckstep, let me go with Hannah,’ James cut in. ‘You and Mr Rose stay here to oversee the arrangements for transferring the deceased to the mortuary at the house. And send someone to knock on the doors of the men who can work the pumps to drain the reservoir. Any expenses are to go on my account.’

  ‘Should we contact the coroner?’ Mr Rose asked in a low voice.

  ‘I’ll write the death certificate – I hope that will be enough.’ James bowed his head out of respect, before standing up and walking to Hannah’s side. ‘At least we might be able to save the child …’ he said, but she knew what he was thinking: that Ruby had done away with her too.

  Glancing along the tideline, she caught sight of a small, dark mound being lapped by the waves. Her heart in her mouth, she ran down to look, but it was only seaweed, torn up and tossed around by the sea.

  ‘We can’t run around like headless chickens,’ she heard James say. ‘We must have a plan.’

  ‘Where do we start?’ she said miserably. ‘She could be anywhere.’

  ‘When did you last see your sister?’

  ‘It was over a week ago. She gave birth to her child, a girl, whilst staying with the Allspices in Ramsgate.’

  ‘I know – I pressed Mrs Knowles to tell me what was going on.’

  ‘I begged her to come home, but she refused.’

  ‘We should retrace her steps, heading back in the direction of Ramsgate, then,’ he said. ‘Would she have taken the train?’

  ‘I doubt that she’d have had the money for the fare.’

  ‘Then she would have walked. Someone would have seen her on the road.’

  ‘James, it’s dark. Everyone will be abed.’

  ‘That’s true. I’ll call for my carriage – we’ll go straight to Ramsgate, and keep our eyes peeled while we’re on the road. When dawn breaks, we can walk the route and interview any possible witnesses who may have seen your sister.’ James sounded confident, but she didn’t share his optimism. ‘We should send word to your father and family as soon as we can.’

  ‘Finding Mercy has to come first,’ she said. Everything else could wait.

  Within the hour, they were travelling in James’s brougham, sitting side by side, staring out into the darkness, the bushes on either side of the road illuminated by the carriage lamps. The horse was reluctant to step out at night time, and the driver had to keep sending it on.

  ‘This feels hopeless,’ Hannah said, straining her eyes as the carriage stopped and started, lurching about. ‘It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.’ James reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘Why didn’t Ruby come home? We would have managed. We would have found a way. What must you think of us?’

  ‘My respect and admiration for you remain the same as they ever were. It’s me who feels ashamed.’

  ‘Why? You have no reason—’

  ‘I should have gone with my instincts, but I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by insisting that I made a house call to check on your sister and the child.’

  ‘What good would that have done? You’d never have convinced her that she needed help. When she’s happy, she has the most beautiful smile and contagious sense of joy. She’s brave, adventurous and light-hearted, but when the sadness – hopelessness, call it what you will – comes over her, she becomes a different person. Her mind plays tricks, deluding her into thinking that no one cares, and the sunshine disappears behind a cloud of misery, self-doubt and stubbornness.

  ‘I’m talking as if she’s still here, but she’s gone. How will I ever get used to it?’ Recalling how Ruby had once claimed that she couldn’t go on living without her lover, Hannah picked at a loose thread on her cape – the material ruckled beneath her fingers then flattened out as the stitches unravelled. ‘I have no doubt that she followed in our mother’s footsteps and took her own life.’

  ‘Dear Hannah, you have suffered greatly,’ James began after a long pause.

  ‘I’m not the only pe
rson to have experienced tragedy,’ she murmured.

  ‘Don’t you think it possible that Ruby was coming back to Margate to find you, took a wrong turn and fell into the reservoir?’

  ‘Who knows what was going on in her head?’

  ‘Her illness caused her to act irrationally,’ James said. ‘There’s no proof of her state of mind, so I’m willing to sign a certificate, stating death by drowning, circumstances unknown. That way, we might avoid the need for a public inquest and exposure in the newspapers, which have a fascination for a sensational story. What’s more, you’ll be able to give her a proper burial in consecrated ground.’

  She wasn’t sure she could bear the same outcome for Ruby as there had been for Ma, to have no place to take Mercy – if they found her – to sit quietly in her mama’s presence, to leave flowers and reflect.

  ‘Are you sure about this? Doctors are obliged to be completely honest. You’d be risking your reputation.’

  ‘I have to go on the facts. Ruby was walking by the sea, wanting to clear her head, having recently given birth to a child. Weakened by the burden of her maternal duties, she fainted face down into the water and drowned. I’m sorry for spelling it out, but this has implications beyond the next few days. It is better for a child to believe that their mother died by accident, not through choice.’

  ‘I don’t know … I don’t understand how a mother could be so selfish as to abandon her child, a helpless infant, and take her own life.’

  ‘On the surface, it doesn’t make sense,’ James agreed, ‘but we can’t know what goes on in another person’s deepest thoughts.’

  ‘It might be that Mercy died of sickness and Ruby, overcome with grief, couldn’t go on …’ Her voice broke. Tears began to flow.

  ‘Oh Hannah. Come here.’ James turned to her, put his arms around her and pulled her close. ‘Let me hold you. Don’t worry about what others will think – we’re alone.’

  Why was he being so understanding towards her sister, Hannah wondered, when he was entirely at liberty to condemn her for taking her own life?