Dancing with the Sun

by Kay Bratt

  They pushed through another large thicket of brush and came out the other side, Lauren leading the way. She stopped, putting her hand over her eyes to shelter them from the sun.

  “Mom, look! We’re at the top of a drainage.”

  Sadie peered around Lauren at the landscape that unfolded before her. Then she noticed a rope tied to a tree that led down into the drainage for at least a few hundred feet. Sadie felt like she was looking down from a three-story building.

  “What is this?”

  “It’s an illegal fixed rope, most likely,” Lauren said. “Some of the hikers set them up and leave them. What do you think we should do?”

  Sadie looked at Lauren like she’d lost her mind. “What do you mean? You aren’t thinking we should . . .”

  “Take it down,” Lauren finished for her. “It’s probably the fastest way. If we can descend to the waterway, it will lead us to the canyon and then to the valley.”

  She sounded confident, but Sadie wasn’t so sure.

  “But we don’t know how to use a rope. I can’t rappel or whatever they call it. And we don’t even know if the rope is secure,” she said. All her mama radar tingled, telling her they should go back.

  Lauren rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a mountain, Mom. It’s not rappelling. This is simply following the rope down some steep terrain. I think we should do it.”

  Sadie didn’t know what to say. Lauren did know more about Yosemite than Sadie did. The fatigue and pain in her muscles and joints was threatening to overcome her again, making her decision-making skills nearly nonexistent.

  Lauren looked to her, waiting for the final say.

  “Fine. But I’m going first to make sure the rope is strong enough. You can use my sweater to grasp it so it doesn’t burn your hands.” She started to untie the sweater from her waist.

  Lauren pulled her T-shirt over her head, leaving her standing in only her bra with the jacket tied around her. “This material will be better.”

  Sadie couldn’t believe what they’d succumbed to, lost and hiking half naked in the wilderness, but she followed suit, and when she stood there in her bra, she realized she didn’t feel as exposed as she should.

  She was becoming a wild woman, she mused.

  With her hands wrapped in the T-shirt and firmly around the rope, Sadie got in position. She hesitated, sure she’d lost her mind, before starting the descent.

  “You got this, Mom,” Lauren called out from above her.

  Sadie wasn’t so sure. But Lauren was watching, and she had to at least pretend she wasn’t completely terrified. She adjusted the backpack, then focused on her breathing. The muscles in her arms and back strained, and the pain was nearly more than she could bear. But she kept going.

  One foot at a time, she told herself, trying to control her anxiety. It wasn’t as though she was working her way down the face of a cliff. If the rope broke and she fell, she’d simply roll down a treacherous path of thick terrain and gnarly thickets. She most likely wouldn’t be killed, though at the bottom she might wish she were dead.

  “How’s the rope feel?” Lauren called out.

  “It feels secure. I think you can come on now.” Sadie didn’t want too much distance between them, in case her daughter attracted more danger.

  She felt the rope tighten when Lauren’s weight was added.

  Slowly, they descended, completely clueless about where they’d end up but anxious to get there. The afternoon was getting away from them, and the thought of another night in the elements made Sadie pick up her pace.

  “This damn manzanita,” Lauren muttered from above her.

  Sadie assumed she meant the dense shrubs or trees that they made their way through and around, though she was too spent to ask. Her hands burned through the T-shirt as the descent got steeper, and she clung tighter to the rope with each move.

  “Lauren, be careful,” she called out, hoping that Lauren wouldn’t let go and come crashing down on top of her—or worse, catapult past her into a head-over-heels death spiral.

  It took some time, but they followed the rope until it ran out, then scrambled down more steep slopes. Conversation was stilted as they saved their reserves. Sadie stopped asking Lauren about her ankle, though she could see the expression of pain as it crossed her daughter’s face. There was nothing they could do now but keep going.

  Finally, they made it to the floor of the canyon, where the terrain flattened out.

  Sadie stopped. She bent over with her hands on her knees, getting her breath. Lauren joined her, plopping down on her butt and bringing her ankle to her lap to rub at it.

  “I’m dying,” she said, pushing the hair out of her eyes.

  Her face was flushed scarlet, and even though Sadie knew it was melodramatic sarcasm, she didn’t like Lauren’s choice of words.

  “I hear water,” Lauren said after a minute of awkward silence, looking up and to her right.

  “You stay put. I’ll check it out.” Sadie straightened, then followed the sound.

  She pushed through a thicket, glancing behind her frequently to keep Lauren in her sights. She found herself standing on a small bank lined with trees, outlining a small but active creek. Much bigger than the small stream they’d crossed before. This one looked alive with energy, the swells churning over and around rocks in a race to get to an unknown destination.

  “I found it,” she called out to Lauren, then took off her shoes and socks and climbed down the bank. She stood in the moving water, only five or six inches deep where she was, and let the coolness flow over her aching feet.

  Lauren came pushing through the brush, holding their shirts.

  She screamed in delight and dropped the shirts.

  “Do not take that boot off, Lauren,” Sadie reminded her.

  “Well, it’s getting wet then,” Lauren said, hobbling down until she stood with Sadie.

  They embraced, laughing as they tried to dance around. Lauren’s attempt resulted in an awkward hop, which made them laugh all the more.

  “I’m gonna drink it this time,” Lauren said as they let go.

  “Lauren, I don’t know,” Sadie warned, even though she herself was dying to bend down and dip her lips in the coolness. “It could be contaminated with all sorts of parasites and stuff.”

  “I don’t care. I can’t wait for water any longer.”

  Sadie could tell she wasn’t going to be able to dissuade her. “Wait—let’s use the straw so at least you won’t get any bacteria that could be floating on the surface.” She unzipped the bag and brought the straw out. She thought of the empty juice box but felt it would collect every fragment of bacteria around it.

  Lauren plucked the straw from her hand and then dropped to her knees in the water. With her face as close to the surface as she could get it, she put the straw in as far as it would go without disappearing and sucked up the water.

  She swallowed at least a dozen times before Sadie took the straw from her.

  “Not too much, Lauren. Just in case.”

  Lauren rose. “Mom, it tastes amazing. You have to drink it.”

  It didn’t take much considering to move Sadie into position. Her throat was parched, her lips chapped and dry. Her thirst was like a monster stalking her, threatening to swallow her whole.

  She sucked the water through the straw, and the second it hit her tongue, it was like manna from heaven. Sadie filled her mouth and held it a second or two before swallowing. It was wonderful, reminding her how much they took God’s gifts for granted in their day-to-day lives. Something as simple as water—it was life changing.

  Once they’d washed their faces, hands, and arms, they were back to reality.

  There were still no hikers or signs of civilization.

  They were still lost.

  They washed out their dingy shirts in the water, then wrung them out and laid them on the bank to dry. Sadie was exhausted, especially after their burst of energy brought on by the sight and taste of water.

  “
Now what?” Lauren said. “At least if we stay here, we have access to water. If it doesn’t kill us later.”

  Sadie prayed they wouldn’t be sick. Could the gods really be that cruel to add stomach problems on top of everything else? But the threat of illness made the possibility of staying put even more impossible. Someone had to make a decision.

  She knew “someone” was her.

  “You said you think we are on the right track to get down to the valley. I say we rest here for a little while, then follow the creek all the way down,” she said.

  Lauren shook her head. “I concur, but only if we leave now. We’re burning daylight.”

  Sadie stood, holding a hand down to help Lauren. “You got it. Let’s get moving. We’re going to find our way out of this godforsaken place before dark.”

  Lauren clasped her hand, and their eyes locked. Sadie was hit with the sudden thought of how much she really liked her daughter. Not just loved her but actually liked her. No doubt they were on the hike from hell, but at least there was something good coming from it.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Sadie felt like following the creek was their best bet. Because of the rocks, she had to put her shoes back on, but they were so sopping wet that they threatened to come off with every step. She tied their shirts to the backpack to finish drying, and now they were on a very visible path. Though it was somewhat downhill, at least they weren’t heading into thickets and brush not knowing what they’d find. As they rounded the first bend, the creek became deeper and stronger, forcing them to walk along the bank, where it was safer.

  Lauren was moving easier, and it was a good thing because at some points they were forced to clamber over large boulders and across slabs of granite, weaving their way down the terrain to stay close to the creek. It was rough going, but they decided that keeping the water in sight was the key to finding a way out, so they continued on. At times, Sadie felt like they were descending into trouble. Other times, she held on to hope that they’d find the valley and a way out.

  The birds chattered and sang, completely oblivious to the human distress that was before them. Sadie worried they’d run into a wild animal coming to drink, and she stayed very alert, searching every inch ahead of them for evidence of fur. Or teeth.

  “Wait,” Lauren said, holding her arm out to stop Sadie. “Oh, that’s a stick.”

  She was on snake patrol. They’d divided out duties, trying to stay as safe as possible. Sadie would watch the banks, and when they were at the water, Lauren was the main lookout.

  They walked another hour at least before stopping to rest. They took turns with the straw, just a few drinks to wet their mouths. Sadie was still wary of their choice to gamble their health, but the threat of dehydration loomed, and they hoped if they ended up with a parasite or waterborne illness, upon rescue it would be cleared up in a matter of days with a quick prescription.

  Assuming they were rescued.

  A bird soaring above them caught her eye, and Sadie studied it, wondering where the owl had gone. She searched the tree limbs above them but saw no sign of him.

  “You ready?” she asked, returning her attention to Lauren.

  Lauren was looking under the hem of her pants, her face pinched in pain.

  “Let me see,” Sadie said, peeking around Lauren’s hand. “Oh, Lauren.” Her heart lurched. She’d been so intent on watching out for critters that she’d neglected to notice Lauren was obviously having a hard time putting weight on the ankle again.

  The area that showed at the top of the boot was black and blue. And swollen. It looked much worse than it had the night before.

  “Why didn’t you say something?” she said, looking into Lauren’s pain-filled eyes.

  “I mean, why should I? It’s not like pointing it out is going to do me any good. We have to keep moving.”

  “You’re piggybacking,” Sadie said, standing up and taking the backpack off. “That ankle could be broken.”

  “No way, Mom. You’re just as exhausted as me, and I’m not riding you like some mule.”

  “You listen to me, Lauren,” Sadie said, her sternest mom tone coming out. “I can do it. Just get up here. And I know we might be taking a chance, but I think you’d better take those boots off and let your feet dry, or you’re going to get foot rot.”

  She still hadn’t mentioned her blisters to Lauren, but she was determined to help her daughter avoid the same predicament. She had enough problems going on without adding one more.

  “This is ridiculous,” Lauren said, but she took her boots off, cringing as she eased the one off her sore ankle. She tied them together and to the backpack, then stood and slid into it.

  Sadie went to the shallowest side of the creek near the bank, then bent over, her arms out, ready to catch under her daughter’s legs. Lauren followed.

  The pain ran through her lower back when Lauren hopped on, but Sadie didn’t react. Instead she settled the weight, then stood tall and began walking carefully. The first few steps were more like waddling, but soon she found her footing. She decided she’d have to stay on land, as the slippery rocks would be too dangerous with Lauren on her back. It would be slow, but at least they were making progress.

  Sadie fought the urge to put Lauren down after the first ten feet or so. But she told herself she could do another ten. Then another. With each milestone she picked in the distance, she determinedly met it and chose another. It was difficult, but Sadie told herself that this more than made up for the first days in China, when she’d wanted so badly to hold her new daughter.

  She trudged on, unwilling to admit defeat.

  “I can’t believe you’re really doing this,” Lauren said, her words sharp from every bounce.

  “You’d be surprised at what a determined mother can do,” Sadie replied. “You’ll see one day. If one of your children is in trouble, you’ll find you have superhuman strength just when you need it.”

  Sadie heard a sniffle. “Lauren,” she said. “Are you crying?”

  The question tore down the dam, and Lauren was now very obviously in distress. Sadie stopped, letting her slide off her back before turning to face her. She hadn’t seen Lauren cry like that since high school.

  “What’s wrong? Am I hurting you? Is it your ankle?” she asked, pushing back Lauren’s hair to search her face.

  “No, you aren’t hurting me,” Lauren said through her tears. “I’m crying because you love me so much.”

  “Oh, Lauren,” Sadie said, holding her arms out. Lauren folded into them, spent and exhausted. They rocked back and forth, tightly embracing. “Of course I love you. And we’ll get through this. I swear it. Just hang on.”

  Sadie felt the sting of her own tears, an instinctive response to seeing her child cry. She felt the love well up in her and threaten to explode. She only wanted to protect Lauren from everything bad in the world. Always had. So far she’d failed her, but she wasn’t giving up yet. She and Lauren would make it out of there and back to safety and comfort. Sadie would accept nothing less.

  Lauren began to pull away.

  “You ready to hop back on?” Sadie asked, smiling at her daughter. “I can do this all day.”

  “I can walk for a while.” She sniffled, looking embarrassed. “I just need you to lean on.”

  “It’s okay to cry,” Sadie said, rubbing Lauren’s back. “You’re tired and thirsty. Hungry too. No one’s judging if you need to shed some tears.”

  “Maybe you should take your own advice, Mom.”

  Sadie didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but they needed to get on a safer topic. She didn’t want Lauren completely breaking down, and she knew her daughter was close to just that.

  “I think we’re both at our limits. Try not to let the negative thoughts creep in, and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other,” Sadie said. “I wish you’d let me carry you a little farther.”

  “I’m fine,” Lauren said. She untied her boots from the bag, then sat down on the grou
nd.

  “Do you want some help with that?”

  Lauren shook her head, then gingerly pulled the boot onto her hurt foot, wincing as it went in.

  Sadie had to look away at the pain it caused her.

  Lauren put the other one on, then tied them both and struggled to her feet, wavering precariously before she found her balance.

  This time they stopped more often, letting Lauren rest at least every ten minutes. The creek was wider now and rushing more. At one point, Sadie made her sit and prop her leg, and they waited for what felt like twenty minutes before continuing on. When she was ready to go, Lauren’s ankle hurt so much she allowed Sadie to again take her piggyback.

  Sadie went only fifty feet or so when a pain sliced through her, traveling from the middle of her back and up through her left shoulder blade. She froze for a second but didn’t say anything. She knew from experience that it was a spasm. She bit her lip through the pain, glad Lauren couldn’t see her face as she started moving again. Despite the agony, carrying her daughter gave her a sense of victory, taking away some of the low self-worth she’d felt since they’d first gotten lost.

  If Tom could see her toting their daughter, he wouldn’t believe his eyes. He couldn’t even get Sadie to help him unload the bags of mulch for their flower beds each spring. Amazing how much strength she’d summoned through sheer will and the power of love.

  Around another bend they heard a crashing sound of rushing water.

  “Do you hear that? I think it’s a waterfall,” Lauren said.

  Sadie stopped and let Lauren slide gently down to walk on her own.

  Slowly they followed the creek, the sound getting louder with each step until the water was at a roar. When it finally came into view, Sadie’s heart dropped.