by Avery Ford
“Distracted by you, of course,” Blake said. It was the truth. Just… not the whole truth. “And everything is better now. You make everything better.”
Toby looked at him like he wanted to ask more questions, but Blake pulled him in tight and gave him another kiss—long and deep enough to hopefully make both of them forget what they’d been talking about.
It was working for Blake, anyway. His cock was already hard as a fucking rock and straining against his jeans. And yeah, he could feel Toby’s length grinding against his leg as they kissed.
Perfect.
Now, he just needed to get rid of all these layers of clothing in the way. But not out here in the winter wind.
“Let’s go inside, babe,” Blake murmured, nipping at Toby’s ear before tugging him in the direction of the front door. “I’ve gotta get you out of these clothes.”
Toby’s eyes flashed with heat as he nodded. “Okay. Yes.” He had that breathless tone that Blake loved. The one that guaranteed he was one hundred percent on board with what they were doing. “Let’s go.”
Blake did his best to wait patiently while Toby unlocked the door, but he couldn’t help himself. He walked up right behind Toby, letting his hard cock press against that perfect, tight ass as Blake reached around and slipped his fingers up under Toby’s shirt to play along the ridges of his abs.
Toby sucked in a sharp breath, then laughed. “Your hands are cold. But… don’t stop.”
“Oh, damn,” Blake said, pulling his hands back anyway to breathe some warm air on them as Toby finally got the door unlocked and stepped inside. “I didn’t even think about that. Sorry, beautiful.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Toby said with a smile. He was already shrugging out of his shirt, revealing more and more of that pale, soft skin that Blake couldn’t stop touching. “Just keep doing what you were doing.”
“I’m going to do a lot more than that if you keep teasing me,” Blake said, taking a moment to let his eyes roam over Toby’s half-naked body. “Do you have any idea how sexy you are? You always have been.”
Blake reached out and pulled him close again, leaning in to kiss his neck and getting rewarded with a low, sweet moan from somewhere deep inside Toby’s chest.
“Oh my God, Blake,” Toby gasped, reaching down to palm Blake’s cock through the denim of his jeans. “I want this. Want you… want you to fuck me.”
Blake wanted to answer, but his brain had shut down. His hormones and his cock were taking over, and all he could do was put his hands on Toby’s hips and guide him to the bedroom.
“Get naked for me,” Blake growled, finally finding the words he needed. “And get on the bed. Show me that sexy ass.’
He watched, making quick work of his own shirt, pants, and underwear as Toby scrambled to do as he’d been told.
And fuck. When Toby climbed up onto that bed on his hands and knees and leaned forward to expose himself?
Yeah, Blake could have come right then, just from that beautiful sight.
“So damn sexy,” Blake groaned, stroking his aching cock as he walked around the side of the bed. “Condoms and lube still in the drawer by the bed?”
Toby nodded. “Yes, hurry… please.”
Even though he was horny as fuck, Blake couldn’t suppress a smile. Some things never changed. Like Toby’s stash of condoms and lube. The bedroom might be a different one than when they were younger, but the hiding place was still the same.
The other thing that hadn’t changed?
How fucking perfect Toby was as he pleaded for Blake’s cock. And before he even got close enough to touch it, Blake could tell that Toby’s hole was just as tight and hot as it had ever been.
Just waiting for Blake to take care of it.
And Blake wasn’t going to waste any time.
He got what he needed from the drawer, suiting up and coating his fingers with plenty of lube as he returned to the foot of the bed where Toby was waiting with his gorgeous ass in the air.
“Fuck, babe,” Blake murmured, sliding his fingers along the crack of Toby’s ass and then teasing that sweet pucker until Toby moaned and pressed back against Blake’s hand.
“Yes, please, more,” Toby panted, rocking back and forth until Blake finally slipped a finger inside. “Ah, yes… more.”
So greedy. So sexy. So fucking perfect.
“Gotta get you ready, babe,” Blake said, his eyes fixed on Toby’s ass as his finger sunk in past the knuckle. “I don’t want to rush and hurt you.”
Truthfully, it was taking every bit of Blake’s self-control to go as slowly as he was, but he wanted this to be every bit as enjoyable for Toby as Blake knew it was going to be for himself.
“You’re not going to hurt me,” Toby insisted, pressing back against Blake’s fingers and then moaning again as Blake added another. “I just… just need you inside me. Please, Blake. I need you.”
Fuck.
How the hell was Blake supposed to say no to that?
Yeah, he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Didn’t even want to try to deny Toby anything and everything he needed.
“I’ve got you,” Blake said, withdrawing his fingers and giving his cock another quick stroke as he lined up the head with Toby’s eager hole. “Just take it nice and slow, okay?”
Toby rocked back, taking half of Blake’s thick cock at once and letting out a porn-worthy moan as he arched his back and prepared himself for more.
It was the sexiest thing Blake had ever seen.
He put one hand on the small of Toby’s back, resting it there so Toby could set the pace. He reached around with his other hand to stroke Toby’s waiting cock, loving the way it pulsed and throbbed the moment he touched it.
“That’s it,” Blake said, leaning in to kiss the back of Toby’s neck. “Ride my cock while I stroke you. But don’t come until I tell you to.”
“Oh, God,” Toby moaned. “I’ve been… waiting so long… I don’t know how long I can hold off.”
“I promise not to make you wait too long,” Blake said, finally starting to thrust in time with Toby’s rocking motion. “Just be good for me, okay?”
He gave Toby’s cock a squeeze to emphasize his words, and was rewarded with a quick nod and another delicious moan.
The truth was that Blake wasn’t sure how long he could last, either. He’d been wanting this for way too long. But one thing was for sure—this first round might be quick, but they would definitely make time for more.
And then more after that.
“Need you,” Toby whimpered. “Please… let me… need to…”
Blake thrust harder in response, loving the way it made Toby beg even louder as he started to come undone.
“Please, Blake,” Toby panted. “I’m gonna… gonna…”
“Not yet,” Blake said, squeezing Toby’s cock again as he buried his own cock balls deep in Toby’s ass. “Just a little longer. We’re almost there, babe.”
One more thrust, then another, and Blake was ready.
“Ready, babe?” Blake asked, already knowing the answer.
“So ready. So, so ready.”
“Come for me, Toby. Just let go, babe.”
And that was all it took.
Blake felt the hot jets spill out over his fist as he stroked Toby to climax, then closed his eyes and leaned in to press his chest against Toby’s back as his own orgasm overtook him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Blake chanted, barely keeping himself from collapsing on top of Toby.
Toby’s ass squeezed him hard, pulling another moan from Blake’s lips as he rolled onto the bed next to Toby.
“So good,” Toby murmured, tilting his head back to kiss Blake. “I want to stay just like this all night.”
“Me, too,” Blake said, meaning it. His cock was still hard, still buried deep in Toby’s ass, and it felt like heaven.
Yeah, this was where he wanted to stay.
All night.
As long as Toby wanted him.
Toby
I want yo
u to come spend Christmas with me and my parents. I’ll call you later!
The text from Blake was simple and straight to the point. Toby was smiling from ear to ear when he read it the first time, that familiar warmth bubbling up inside him as he imagined how nice it would be to spend Christmas with Blake. Especially since bad weather and poor planning meant he’d spent last Christmas completely alone.
Being with family this year—even if it was someone else’s family—would be nice.
Maybe too nice.
Because when he read that text a second time, Toby wasn’t so sure how he should feel about it.
Happy, of course.
But also…
He sighed, tossing his phone aside on the couch cushion next to him. For the first time since Blake had popped back up in his life, Toby was glad to be by himself. Glad that Blake wasn’t there to see him worrying and stressing and frowning when he knew he should be happy and thankful.
As perfect as the past week had been, though—and it really had been absolutely perfect—Toby still had to remind himself that it couldn’t last forever.
Christmas Eve was tomorrow.
And after Christmas?
Blake would surely want to go back home as soon as he could.
Toby knew that. He’d known it from the start. It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t unexpected. They hadn’t really talked about it much, but they hadn’t needed to.
There was no mystery here.
Blake would go back to his old life and Toby would continue on here in Kansas.
Which was why it was probably a bad idea to spend Christmas together, even though Toby hated to admit it. Because the other thing he hated to admit?
The feelings that he’d promised himself he’d keep locked away were coming back in full force. Feelings for Blake. For what they used to have. For what Toby wanted them to have now.
And no matter how impractical those feelings were or how many times Toby tried to shove them aside, they wouldn’t go away.
The more time he spent with Blake, the stronger those feelings became.
So while Toby might not want to cut things off completely now—he hadn’t completely lost his mind, and Blake would still be in town for at least a few more days—it was probably a good idea to at least take a step back, to let those feelings cool off a little before they spun out of control.
It would suck, for sure. But it was what Toby needed to do in order to protect his heart.
That was something he’d never been good at when it came to Blake Rivers, but this time was different. They were both older now, and Toby knew he had to take care of himself.
His phone rang, startling Toby out of his thoughts. Blake’s name flashed on the screen.
Oh, God.
He wasn’t ready yet. He needed a little more time to think about what to say, to figure out a way to break the news and still spare Blake’s feelings as much as possible.
But putting the call off until later would only make it more difficult for both of them.
Toby took a deep breath and picked up his phone, swiping to answer as he slowly exhaled.
“Hey,” Toby said. “I got your text earlier.”
“Hey, handsome,” Blake replied. “So you’ll come over tomorrow and the next day to spend Christmas with us? My mom is already bugging me about which cookies are your favorite so we’ll be sure to have plenty on-hand. I seriously might need you to come rescue me in a little while.”
Toby tried to force a smile, but instead had to blink back the tears that were already welling up in his eyes. “I, um… wanted to talk to you about that,” Toby said. “Is now a good time?”
He knew it wasn’t ever going to be a good time, but he was stalling. The sound of Blake’s voice, so happy and carefree, was making this a lot harder than Toby had imagined it would be.
“Yeah, anytime is a good time,” Blake answered. “Is this about the cookies? Because you don’t have to eat them. I’ll just have her make some without chocolate and I’ll split them with Cooper. Mom will never know the difference.”
“It isn’t about the cookies, Blake.” Toby sighed. He wished he didn’t have to do this. He wanted to be as happy as Blake sounded. He wanted to get back to those perfect, wonderful feelings he’d been having all week whenever he’d been with Blake. But he knew he’d just been fooling himself, prolonging the inevitable. “It’s about… us.”
“Us?” Blake repeated, his voice going quiet. “What do you mean, babe? What’s up?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to spend Christmas with you,” Toby said, letting the bad news tumble out in a rush. “I’m sorry. I really want to, but… I just can’t. I feel like I’m falling for you all over again and I just can’t, Blake.” He paused to dash at the tears that were streaming down his face. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “And please tell your parents I’m sorry.”
“Toby, wait,” Blake said. “I don’t understand. Did I do something to upset you? I thought we were good? I thought everything was fine when I left your house last night.”
“Everything was fine,” Toby said. “Too fine. That’s the problem. I just… please don’t try to change my mind, Blake. This is what I need right now, okay?” He shook his head, not waiting for a reply. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
Toby hung up the phone before either of them could say anything else.
He had done the right thing. He had guarded his heart and now it wouldn’t hurt so much when Blake had to leave again.
But why did it still feel so wrong? And if he really was guarding his heart, why did it feel like it was breaking all over again?
Blake
Blake had lost count of the number of calls, texts, and voicemails he’d left for Toby since they’d talked last. He was still going to try one more time tonight, though. If Toby would just pick up the phone and talk, Blake knew he could fix whatever had gone wrong.
But the silent treatment was killing him.
He dialed Toby’s number and sighed as it rang once, twice, three times before going to voicemail again.
“Toby, it’s me,” Blake said. “I promise this is the last time I’ll call you tonight, but I just wanted to apologize again for whatever I did to upset you. Please just call me back whenever you’re ready to talk and we can make this right, okay? I don’t want things to be weird between us. I want…” He sighed again. He’d already said all of those things before, at least half a dozen times tonight. “Please just call me.”
He ended the call and tossed the phone onto his bed before flopping down next to it. Maybe he should send one more text.
But no. He’d promised Toby that he wouldn’t call anymore tonight, and while a text wasn’t technically a call, Blake was pretty sure it would still be breaking his promise.
Tomorrow morning was still fair game, though. And the next day and the next.
However long it took until Toby would talk to him again.
Please, God, don’t let it take that long.
He just didn’t understand where things had gone wrong. What had happened between the time he’d left Toby’s house and that awful phone call?
Toby had been on board with this situation from the beginning—at least, Blake was pretty sure he’d been on board. But maybe that hadn’t been the case. Maybe Blake had just been too caught up to realize that Toby needed some space.
Why had he put on the brakes now, though? Had it been the Christmas invitation? Surely Toby knew that he wasn’t obligated to do anything with Blake’s family. Had Blake made him feel uncomfortable? Was it because Toby’s parents weren’t coming back to visit?
Blake had so many questions, but Toby wasn’t answering any of them.
Or his calls.
Or his texts.
A knock on Blake’s bedroom door pulled him from his thoughts. Sharon’s head peeked inside before Blake even had a chance to say anything.
“I just wanted to check what time Toby was planning on coming over tomorrow, dear.” She l
ooked at him sprawled out on the bed and frowned. “Did I wake you? It’s a little late for a nap, isn’t it?”
“I wasn’t sleeping,” Blake answered, looking over to check his phone just in case he’d maybe missed a text in the last twenty seconds. “And Toby isn’t coming tomorrow. He said to let you know he’s sorry.”
Sharon blinked. “What? Why is he sorry? Of course he’s coming. Just call him back and tell him it’s no trouble at all and we—”
“I’ve been trying to call him for the past… however many hours,” Blake said, interrupting her. “He won’t answer the phone. He… doesn’t want to talk.”
“I don’t understand,” she said, stepping inside Blake’s room and then sitting down on the edge of his bed. “What happened? I thought you boys were having such a good time together.”
Blake thought so, too. He knew they’d been having a good time. Until suddenly they weren’t.
“I don’t know,” Blake said. “I called to ask him about the cookies and then all this other stuff came out of left field. He said he couldn’t do this. He said he was starting to—” Blake stopped himself, partly because repeating Toby’s words was already making him choke up and partly because he didn’t want to share that particular part of their conversation with his mother. That was between himself and Toby. “He just said this was the right thing for him right now and that I shouldn’t try to change his mind.”
“And what did you say?”
“I tried to change his mind.” Blake huffed out a short breath. “But he wouldn’t listen. And now he won’t even talk to me at all.”
Cooper got up from his dog bed in the corner and jumped onto Blake’s bed, nuzzling against his side as if he could hear the pain in Blake’s voice.
Sharon reached over to scratch behind Cooper’s ear and then patted Blake on the knee. “Well, this might shock you, but I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do.”
Blake could feel his eyes go wide. That really was shocking. And also maybe a little disappointing, since he felt like he could use some good advice now more than ever.
“You’re not?” he asked, just to make sure he’d heard her correctly. “Not even a hint?”