Charmed by a Roughneck 2

by J Peach

  The sincerity in his voice was kind of scary. How could he not want a child that’s his? That was what he wanted. Well, that was what he led me to believe.

  “Don’t be sorry, Trell, because you weren’t sorry when you were sleeping with her for the past, what? Three years or so? It’s no point in being sorry now.” The damage was done when he slept with her the first time.

  “I am. I don’t want this to fuck us up,” he quickly said.

  My mouth shut.

  He thought we were going to get back together, I realized. “I’m not pissed, Trell.” His sigh of relief filled my ears, and my head shook. “I guess I should’ve expected that you were cheating, but honestly, I didn’t want to see it. Hell, I haven’t wanted to see a lot for so long. I can’t and won't do that anymore. Trell, look—”

  “Don’t, Janessa—”

  “No, let me finish. You might not want to hear it, but I have to say this. Trell, I was in love with you, and I will always have love for you. Even so, I can’t be with you. I know who you are as a person, and I know what it takes to be with you. I can’t go back being that person. I’m not some weak girl; I never have been until I met you. I became content in that skin, which allowed you to be comfortable with me in that form. I hated that person and myself for becoming that woman. We honestly lasted so long because I felt indebted to you for what you’ve done for us. Regardless of that, I shouldn’t have had to put up with all your shit for so long. And it’s not your fault, it’s mine because I should’ve stopped it or left, but I didn’t because, like I said, I loved you and I felt indebted to you. Although I love you, Trell, I no longer feel obligated to be with you. I’m sorry, but I can’t be with you.”

  I felt so relieved after telling him that. I needed to hear myself say those words to him because I needed to hear the truth in them.

  “You not even going to let me try to make shit right between us, Nessa?”

  “No, Montrell, because nothing is wrong. I know you’re sorry, and I forgive you. I’m not pissed at you for anything that happened in our relationship. I’m not even pissed that you got Carrie pregnant. What happened is done and over with. I put it in the past, and you should do the same. So, please stop apologizing to me and stop trying to fix what’s not broken. We’re good, Trell,” I explained, hoping he would get it.

  “Ain’t shit good if we’re not together, Janessa! What the fuck don’t you get? Nothing is fuckin’ good. Yo’ ass has to still be pissed if you can’t work this shit out with me. Instead, you just wanna throw every fuckin’ thing away. I can’t put shit with you in the past, Nessa. You are my life, man. I fuckin’ love you. I can’t walk away from us. If you love me like you claim, you could at least try. If it doesn’t work, I’ll leave you the fuck alone. Nessa, baby, please, just give us another chance,” he pleaded with me.

  As he spoke, my head just shook. “I can’t—” I jumped in my chair as something in his background shattered.

  “You can’t? You mean you won’t fuckin’ try, Nessa!” he yelled at me.

  “Yeah, you’re right, Trell. I don’t wanna try because I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’ve had damn near five-six years to try and change, but you didn’t, Montrell! Maybe this time would probably be different. You could really mean it. Regardless, that’s not going to change the fact that I don’t want to be with you anymore. Nothing is going to change that. Your pleas or apologies, nothing will, so just let it go. Let me go.” I didn’t want to hurt him, but I needed him to let go of the idea of us getting back together. I didn’t want to be with him anymore, and he needed to accept that.

  “Nessa, meet me so we can talk in person. This phone shit ain’t doing it. I need to see you. I want you to tell me in person that you wanna be done. Come meet me.”

  A soft laugh left my mouth. I knew Montrell all too well. Meeting him in person wasn’t a good idea at all, especially not when shit wasn’t going his way.

  “No, Trell, I’m not meeting you. I’ve told you face to face already. It’s pointless to do it again because everything we’re saying right now is going to be repeated, and I don’t feel like going through that. Honestly, I’m tired of trying to get you to understand and accept what I’m saying to you. So, accept it or don’t. At this point, I don’t care. I’m tired of trying to spare your feelings. Montrell, we’re done, and we’re not getting back together. Go be with your baby mother. Put this same energy you’re trying to put into us toward her. She’s giving you something I couldn’t. Stop calling me, please. Bye, Montrell.”

  “Nessa, don’t fuckin—”

  I ended the call. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say because I was tired of going back and forth with him. I was done doing that.

  “Momma… you okay?” I looked up to see Kierra standing on the stairs staring at me worriedly.

  Smiling at her, I nodded, and she walked over to me. “Yeah, baby, I’m fine. What’s up?”

  “I was coming to get something to drink when I heard you talking to Trell. I wasn’t trying to be nosy or anything, I swear. I was about to leave when you hung up, and thought I’d check on you,” she stated while staring at me as if waiting for something.

  “It was nothing, and I’m okay, Keke, so don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” My arm went around her waist, and I pulled her little body against mine.

  Keke’s arms went around my shoulders, hugging me. “I know you are, Momma. Do you miss Trell?”

  The seriousness in her voice had me looking into her curious eyes. I pulled out of her hold and patted the chair for her to sit down. When she did, I turned so that my chair was directly in front of hers. “Honestly, Keke, no, I don’t.”

  “Do you feel bad for him?” Her eyes diverted from mine when she asked that question.

  “What do you mean, baby?” She shrugged but still didn’t look at me. “Kierra, do you feel bad for Trell?” She shrugged. My hand stroked along the side of her face. “Keke, look at me.” It took her a second to raise her eyes to mine. Kierra’s gaze told it all. She felt sorry for him.

  “I know I should hate him like Kae does for what he’s done to you. Momma, I did hate him, and I’m still mad for everything he did to you… but when I saw him crying… I felt bad for him, and I know I should hate him.” Tears filled her eyes, and I hugged her.

  Pulling back, I wiped her eyes. “Baby, you don’t have to hate him. You shouldn’t have too because you feel that’s what I want. Kierra, that’s not what I want. I don’t hate him, and yes, I feel bad for him. Even so, that’s not going to make me go back to him. Keke, it’s nothing wrong with feeling sorry for him.”

  “Are you sure you won’t be mad if I do?” Her big, brown, doe like eyes stared intensely into mine.

  Laughing, I shook my head. “Baby, I’m sure. I could never be mad at you for that.” My hand continued to stroke along her face. She was such a sweet girl with a big and caring heart. She reminded me so much of myself, and that scared me. “Kierra… The things that went on in my relationship with Trell, with him putting his hands on me, shouldn’t have happened at all. I shouldn’t have allowed it to go on for so long. I should’ve left him a long time ago. Listen to me, Keke. That’s never alright, and I don’t ever want you to think it is, no matter what or how you feel for someone, it’s not okay. If you ever find yourself in a situation like that, don’t stay for anything. Leave. Learn from this and never make the mistake I’ve made by staying. Because, if you do…” I let out a tearful laugh. “I’ll have to go to jail, and I know you don’t want that, but I’ll gladly go. Okay?”

  Kierra hugged me tightly. “I promise I won’t, Momma. And just because I feel sorry for him, that doesn’t mean I want you to go back with him. I think I like you with Jerome. You’ve been different since you’ve met him. I like this you and that you’re not stuck in the house all the time or just hanging with us. You deserve to have friends and fun too. Now that you’re not with Trell, you can do all that without worrying about him getting mad at you.”

&
nbsp; I was saddened by her words because they were true, and she had noticed how closed off and alone I had been for years. What my kids observed at that point shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. No matter how much I tried to hide everything from them, it turned out that I hadn’t done a damn thing. “Yeah…” I mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

  “Momma…” Kierra called, and I looked back at her.

  “Yeah?”

  A sheepish look covered her features before she cleared her throat. “Is it true that Jerome was in jail for killing his father?” I felt my lips moving, but no words came out. “Kaeden told me that’s why he was in jail, for killing his dad. He said his daddy used to beat on his momma. That was the reason he beat up Montrell because he doesn’t like punk blank niggas hitting women. I think that’s why Kae likes him so much.”

  “You should get to bed. You have school in the morning.” I nodded toward the stairs.

  “Okay. Night, Momma.” Standing, she gave me a hug, then left the dining room and went into the kitchen.

  Once she was out of sight, I grabbed my cellphone and texted Jerome. I was mad as hell. Why would he tell my son that? How the hell did they even get on that gotdamn topic? What the fuck? Was the only question running through my mind at that moment.

  You told my son that you killed your father? WTF Jerome?!

  I had just finished writing the day’s assignment on the board when the classroom door opened. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jerome standing there. After I had texted him last night, hours had gone by before he responded, and by then, I was too tired to even reply.

  Then again, his message wasn’t an explanation. His reply was simply, I mean, shid, I did kill my pops. I couldn’t reply to that, even if I did have the energy to do so.

  “You gon’ ignore me now?” he asked.

  Setting the Expo marker down, I turned to face him. “What was I responding to exactly?”

  He walked over to my desk and set a cup of coffee in front of me. “Nessa, he asked why I was locked up, and I told him why. I didn’t go into details about how I killed the nigga.”

  “How does a conversation like that even come up with a nine-year-old, Jerome?” For the life of me, I couldn’t understand how they got on that damn topic.

  Jerome leaned against my desk and folded his arms across his chest. “When he saw me at the gym, he told me what happened with you and ol’ dude. Then he explained how he got the black eye, and we talked.” He shrugged. “He asked why I was locked up, I told him. He told me about the shit going on in his head, thoughts I once had before I actually killed my pops.” He let out a breath as his hand rubbed down his face. “Look, the kid needed somebody he didn’t know to vent to. I just happened to be there at the right time, and I talked to him, Nessa. If you’re looking for me to apologize for telling him what I did, I ain’t doing that. He asked a question, and I answered it straight up. I’m not ashamed of what I did, but if you are, then fuckin’ with me ain’t what you need to be doing.”

  My hand rubbed my forehead as thoughts of what Kaeden admitted to me a while ago played in my head. He did, in fact, say that he wanted to kill him, but I didn’t take what he said seriously. Hell, I couldn’t because he was my baby. “He told me once before that he wanted to kill him, but I thought it was really just angry talk. I mean, he’s nine—”

  “How old Kaeden is don’t mean shit, Janessa. Kids see a lot of shit that they hold in. Sweetheart, rage can be bottled up for only so long before that cap pops off, and everything inside is released. Age don’t mean a gotdamn thing when you see the person you love get hurt over and over again. It just takes rage. That boy of yours got a lot of it because he loves the fuck out of you, Nessa. Yo’ only mistake was not taking him seriously. That boy ain’t shit like other kids his age. His mindset is mature as fuck, yo. I talked to him so he wouldn’t make the same mistake I did, which ended up fuckin’ my brother and me in the end.”

  I didn’t want to think about Kaeden killing Montrell, or anyone else for that matter, all because he felt that he had to protect me. It wasn’t right; no kid should feel that way. I didn’t want mine to feel like that, and damn sure didn’t want him to later act on that impulse.

  “Do you think talking to him helped?” I finally asked after several minutes of silence.

  Jerome shrugged. “It could have. He wasn’t as pissed when I told him I’ll look out for you and that he could call me whenever some shit happened. Nessa, I wouldn’t tell yo’ son no shit that would get him in a fucked-up situation. To be honest, for what it’s worth, I think you’ve done good with that boy, so far. Then again, what the fuck do I know? I’m just a fucked-up convict who killed his pops.” He stared at me and chuckled as if that was actually funny.

  “That’s a terrible joke, Jerome.”

  His hand wiped over his mouth, and he shrugged. “To you, maybe. So, what? Are you pissed at me or what? I’d rather you not be, but if you wanna be pissed, yo’ ass can blame my fucked up childhood for me being straight up with yo’ boy. So, you mad or not?” He stared at me intensely, waiting for my reply.

  With my hand rubbing my forehead, I looked away from him. What was there to be mad at him about, exactly? I believed he didn’t go into detail about how he killed his father. After listening to what he said, I believed he did that because he didn’t want Kaeden to make that mistake and do what he’d done. As I thought about it, Kaeden’s reaction to the last two encounters Trell and I had was beginning to say so much. I was overlooking so much without even realizing it.

  “I’m not mad at you. I do feel like you should’ve told me all of this sooner—”

  “Nuh uh, sweetheart, don’t do that. Why should I have told you shit when he already did? You just didn’t hear it fully because he’s nine. So… we made up?” he asked.

  My eyes formed into slits at his interruption. I was trying my hardest to keep glaring at him, especially for his dismissive tone about what I was saying. I couldn’t keep a straight face as that smirk of his graced his lips. “You’re an asshole.”

  “I don’t see it. Now that we’ve made up, can I get a good morning, a hug, or something?” His hands flipped up, his palms extending toward me.

  Laughing, I stood up and grabbed his hands. “Good morning, Jerome.” He took my hands and placed them around his neck. “And thank you for being a listening ear for Kaeden. I really appreciate that.”

  His arms snaked around my waist. “No thanks needed. I like little dude, real shit. He’s funny as fuck. Yo’ ass need to talk to that little nigga about threatening me, though. I ain’t gonna keep letting his ass do that shit. I think his favorite thing to say to me is, I’m not gon’ do nothing to you.” Jerome’s head fell back, and he barked out a laugh.

  How was that funny? “He threatened you with a switchblade, which you told him to sharpen and hide.”

  He chuckled. “A switchblade ain’t shit compared to what I was carrying at his age, just for protection. Shid, while you’re playing, yo’ daughter need to be carrying one and mace or some shit, just in case.”

  Laughing, I pulled his head down and kissed him. “Now you want them to carry weapons. I’ll think on it, but I seriously doubt it.”

  “I’ll talk you into it one day. What’s this you got on?” His hands slid down the sides of my track pants before moving over my thighs and up to my ass, squeezing my cheeks.

  “Clothes…” I mumbled as I went to kiss him again.

  His head moved back, and he glanced down at the matching royal blue jacket. One of his hands moved from my waist and came to the zipper of my jacket. “You know this outfit messes with my morning plans. I can’t just pull it up or down when I need to.” He bit his bottom lip as he looked down behind me. “But I’ll be lying if I said yo’ ass wasn’t fitting this mothafucka. You look sexy as fuck, Nessa…” His hand came to my ponytail, and he pulled my head back, bringing his lips to my neck. He bit at the skin before sucking it into his mouth.

  The action sent
heat rushing straight to my sex, causing my love box to pulse with anticipation for the pleasure that only he could give me. Excitement filled the pit of my stomach, making me groan. Never in my life had I craved someone as much as I did Jerome.

  “Fuck, you should’ve worn a dress.” Jerome groaned against my mouth as he pushed my pants and panties down my ass. He turned us so that I was against the desk. “Take one leg out.” He bit my bottom lip then stepped away from me. He pulled out his phone and looked at it. “We got fifteen minutes before mothafuckas start coming in here.” As he was talking, he undid his jeans. His dick was fully erect, the tip thick and leaking. He grabbed the coffee cup and set it on the floor. Fisting my ponytail, he brought me to his mouth, kissing me deeply. As he did, his fingers slid through my slit, playing with my swelling pearl. His fingers pushed inside me, and I moaned as he groaned out. “Shit, yo’ ass soaking.”

  “I am, so don’t tease me.” I licked his bottom lip then sucked it into my mouth.

  Hugging my waist tight, he picked me up and sat me on top of the desk. Pushing me back on the desk, he moved my legs up, his hands gripping them tightly as he thrust deep into me.

  “Oh, my God!” I gasped out in pleasure from his invasion.

  “Gotdamn!” He grunted as his fingers bit into my thighs deeply while he thrust roughly into my soaking box.

  “Ah, ah, ah, ooh—” My cries were muffled by Jerome’s hand.

  “Sweetheart, you can’t get loud—Fuck!” He grunted out in pleasure. “Gotdamn, Janessa, yo’ pussy gripping the fuck out my dick, shit!” His head fell against my chest following his groan. Grabbing my jacket, he pressed it to my mouth.

  I laughed, but the sound turned into a moan.

  I bit hard into my jacket, trying to muffle my cries of pleasure, but the feeling and the build-up of my orgasm was too much.

  Jerome pushed my shirt up, then my bra and cupped my breast tightly. Leaning into me, his tongue played with my nipples before sucking the right one into his mouth. Jerome doing that only added to the pleasure I already felt.