Risky (Unexpected Lovers Book 4)
Page 6
LENNON: I’ve checked your schedule. There’s a four-day window where you don’t have anything booked. I’m blocking it out for Vegas and securing flights and accommodation now. Any hotel preferences?
I’ve stayed in quite a few hotels in Vegas. They’ve all been nice. But Tia said she’s never been, and I want to make this trip memorable for her. I punch out my reply just as I’m called by one of the assistants.
BATES: Best of the best, Lenny. Make sure it’s special for Tia. Since she won’t let us pay her, let’s spoil the shit out of her instead.
I move my hand to slip my cell back into my pocket when the assistant approaches, hand outstretched. “I’ll look after that for you, Mr. Handler. Greer doesn’t want anything bulky in your pockets.”
“Oh, my bad,” I say, handing it over after locking the screen. I learned a long time ago that a cell without a lock code is a dangerous thing. Now you can’t get into anything, not even the camera app, without my fingerprint.
I’m shuffled around, fussed over, and placed in multiple positions over the course of the next few hours. By the time it’s all said and done, I’m tired and hungry. But I’m also happy. I enjoy this side of my job. If baseball didn’t work out for me, I always figured I’d go into modeling.
After retrieving my cell, I change into the sweats and T-shirt I wore here. As I walk the two blocks to the parking garage I left my car at this morning, I check Len’s response to our earlier chat.
LENNON: Done and done.
I can’t help smiling to myself as I maneuver my Jag through the ridiculous city traffic. Tia isn’t going to know what hit her.
I pull into my garage thirty minutes later then head inside. The sound of Tia’s voice echoes through the empty house as she sings along to… I tilt my head, trying to work out what exactly she’s singing as I search her out. I find her in the laundry room, folding towels while simultaneously belting out the lyrics to a song I don’t recognize.
Her earbuds are in, so she doesn’t hear me enter the space. I lean against the wall, appreciating the sight of her in a pair of cut-off shorts and a fitted green tank top. She used to dress in long black pants and a white button-down blouse thing when she worked. It took me almost a year to convince her she didn’t need to be so uptight and professional around me.
These days, she wears whatever she feels comfortable in, which makes me happier than I’d realized until this very moment—now that I’ve given myself permission to admire her and acknowledge the fact that she’s an insanely attractive woman, that is.
It took another few months for her to fully relax around me. That was when things started to really change between us. We were no longer simply boss and employee, but friends.
Only a few weeks after that is when she proved just how much of a good friend she is to me. Tia could have gone to the media when Kacey sought me out and convinced me the baby growing inside her was mine. It would have been a huge payday for Tia, if she’d wanted it.
Initially, I was shit scared she might say something. But I should have known better. The woman doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body. Instead of betraying my trust, she gave me a confidant. Someone to lean on and a judgment-free zone.
I’d let Kacey into my home, my life, and as stupid as it feels to admit now, my heart. But she’d turned out to be like every other woman I’d ever been with. She didn’t care about me; all she wanted was the life I could give her.
The memory of holding Lila in my arms right after she’d been born tears through me, forcing my hand to rub against my chest in a vain attempt to ease the pain.
My baby girl was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. When she looked up at me with those big blue eyes for the very first time, I swear my heart stopped beating. I knew, without a doubt in the world, there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
My little Lila.
I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes closed as my soul shatters all over again, crushing pain engulfing me as I relive the debilitating moment when I found out she wasn’t mine. The ache inside me grows with each passing second until a soft hand caresses my cheek.
The gentle touch drags me from the devastation consuming me, making my eyes flash open, meeting Tia’s concerned gaze.
“Hey,” she breathes out, “what’s going on, big man?” She tilts her head to the side, examining every inch of my face, then swipes her thumb through wetness on my cheek.
Fucking fuck!
I squeeze my eyes closed again and grind my teeth; this is too fucking much. I should be over this, over Kacey and what she did to me, not standing here more than a year later feeling like a complete wreck.
Just as I place my hands on Tia’s hips to push her away, she wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me close as she buries her face in my neck and whispers against my ear, “There is no time limit on grief.”
My throat thickens as another swell of pain crashes over me, threatening to swallow me whole. My hands slide around Tia’s waist, and I cling to her, my life raft, my safe place in the storm that is tearing my heart to pieces.
Bates had scared the shit out of me when I’d turned to move the wet washing into the dryer only to find him standing against the wall, staring off into space.
I’d said his name a couple of times before approaching him. He looked so sad and lost. The moment a tear slipped from the corner of his eye, I knew what was troubling him.
If I could go back in time and warn him about the kind of woman I had thought Kacey was, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But, back then, I didn’t feel like it was my place. Our friendship was new, and I didn’t want to put my nose where it didn’t belong.
Now, I wish I had. I didn’t like the vibes that woman threw off. Sure, initially she seemed sweet as sugar, but as soon as she’d gotten comfortable here, I started seeing a different side to her when Bates wasn’t around.
Holding him in my arms as the pain of his loss consumes him, I’d do anything to take it away. I can’t begin to imagine losing a child. And that’s essentially what happened to him. In his heart, Lila was his—right up until the moment it all came crashing down around him.
Just days after they had brought Lila home, Bates overheard Kacey on the phone to one of her girlfriends. She was bragging about how she’d made him fall in love with her, and there was no way he’d ever question Lila’s paternity.
He ordered an at-home DNA testing kit and sent it in without Kacey’s knowledge. I’ll never forget the day the results came in. I’ve never seen him so distraught. He confronted Kacey, and when she denied knowing he wasn’t Lila’s biological father, he calmly told her to pack her bags and leave.
The epic tantrum she threw on her way out took me three days to properly clean up. Yet, despite her behavior, Bates arranged for all the things he’d bought for Lila to be delivered wherever Kacey ended up. He loved that baby like a daughter, even if her genetics said otherwise, and he made sure she would be properly cared for.
Once she and Lila were gone, that was when Bates started drinking on the daily. He’d been spiraling ever since.
I have never been a violent person, but if I were to see her now, I’d stick Vinnie on that manipulative wench in a heartbeat. Instead, I run my palms up and down the back of Bates’s neck, doing what I can to soothe him.
When he lifts his face, his blue eyes are red, glassy, and tortured. I cup his stubbled cheek in my palm, then I push up onto my tiptoes and brush my lips against his, desperate to take his hurt and make it my own.
A groan rumbles up his throat as his hands drag down my sides to my hips, then he lifts me. I wrap my legs around him and hold on as he steps away from the wall, carrying me over to the counter I use for folding. He lowers me enough that my butt comes to rest on the edge of the bench, then he breaks our kiss, panting heavily.
“I thought you said we shouldn’t do this,” he murmurs as his fingertips trace the ridges of my spine over the thin cotton of my tank.
Licking my lips, I nod. “I did.”
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Too many conflicting emotions race through my system all at once. I kissed him because I—well, I needed to. I can’t stand seeing him in pain. And I love kissing Bates. Like, really, really love it. But we’re about to get fake married and have to live together for the next year. It would be smart to keep things as they are. It’s the only way we’ll be able to come out the other side of this with our friendship intact.
Closing my eyes, I draw in a deep breath, hoping it brings me some clarity.
It doesn’t.
All it serves to do is further wrap me in the heady scent that is Bates. He smells clean and masculine, and I just want to curl up in his warmth. But that’s not something friends should want from each other.
It’s getting harder and harder to keep telling myself that I’m just fine and dandy in the friend zone. But I know if I cross that line with him, there will be no turning back for me. I’m not the kind of girl who gives herself to another without there being some intense feelings involved first. And I do have feelings for him.
But he doesn’t see me that way. This, right now, is just a physical release for him. When it comes to an end—because I know it will—be it before or after our divorce, it’ll break me.
I gnaw on my bottom lip as my mind spins on an endless loop until Bates gently tugs it from my teeth, and I finally open my eyes to stare into his.
The pad of his thumb presses into the center of my bottom lip as his lust-filled gaze flits back and forth between my eyes and mouth.
“I love your eyes,” he says in a gravelly tone that send shivers racing through my body. “And your lips. I can’t decide which I like more.”
No words. I have. No. Freaking. Words.
Most people are a bit weirded out by my different colored eyes, so much so that I wore contacts throughout high school in an attempt to stop the staring. I don’t know why, but it didn’t work. It took me a long time to become comfortable enough in my own skin—and eyes, I guess—to go without the contacts. And the fact that Bates likes them…it means so much to me.
“I don’t want to stop kissing you, Tia, but if you don’t want this, you need to say so now,” he says, releasing my lip so I can speak.
“What I want…and what’s smart…are two different things.”
Tilting his head to the side, he continues to watch me like a hawk as he seems to consider my words. “That’s not what I asked. I don’t care what the smart thing is. I need to know what you want.”
I release a shuddering breath. “I want—”
“Bates, what are you doing in the laundry?” Lennon’s voice fills the room. “Oh shit, sorry.”
Oh, my Lord. This looks so bad.
I drop my head and avert my gaze, embarrassed beyond belief. Len asked me to do this because she trusted me to keep my hands to myself, and look at me now. Swallowing hard, I shift my palms and push against Bates’s chest until he takes a step back, allowing me to slide off the bench so I can make a break for it.
“Dishwasher needs unloading,” I mutter on my way out the door, keeping my eyes glued to the floor as I go. I tidy the kitchen at warp speed then get my butt outta there before either of them comes looking for me.
I spend the train trip home internally berating myself. I don’t know what I was thinking kissing him like that. He needed me to be there for him, to comfort him, and what did I do? I took advantage of him in an emotional state.
I’m such a terrible person. What is wrong with me?
My cell chimes, and I know in my gut it’s him before I even look at the screen.
BATES: Why’d you leave? I wanted to talk to you.
I shake my head at my phone. “Oh, heck no. No way. Nope,” I mutter under my breath. I’m assuming I look like a crazy person, because the elderly woman sitting beside me gives me the side-eye as she shuffles farther down the seat, putting more space between us.
What would I even say to him? Sorry I practically threw myself at you. Sorry I’m an awful person. Sorry I feel more for you than I should…
I need to talk this out with someone, but Lennon and Archer are the only ones outside of Bates and me that know the truth. And after what Lennon just saw, I’m not sure she’d want to talk to me. That only leaves Archer, and there’s no way I’m going to vent to Bates’s bestie about my problems.
My cell chirps again, and thankfully, this time the name on the display is Adley.
ADLEY: So, when’s the big day? Or is that a secret too?
Her message is just another thing that proves what a crappy person and friend I am.
I can’t tell Adley what’s going on, but I wish I could. She already suspects something, but no, I can’t. I signed an NDA, and even if I hadn’t, I gave Bates my word. This whole situation is a lot more frustrating than I ever could have imagined. What a fool I was to think this would be easy.
What kind of idiot doesn’t see impending disaster on the horizon when agreeing to fake marry the guy she’s kinda been crushing on for an embarrassingly long time?
Ugh, how could I be so stupid?
As I sit there, wallowing, another text comes through from Adley.
ADLEY: Don’t ignore me, Tiana! I know you’ve read my message.
Then another, this one bringing a genuine smile to my lips.
ADLEY: Look, I’m sorry. At the end of the day, you’re my girl, and I just want you to be happy.
I reply immediately.
TIA: You free tonight? I could use a girls’ night.
ADLEY: HELLS YES, GIRL!
TIA: At the club? I’ll meet you there at eight?
ADLEY: Perfect. I’ll tell Nessa you’re coming. She’ll be ecstatic.
A night with my bestie at the drag club she manages downtown sounds absolutely perfect. It’s been too long since I’ve spent time there. I miss the girls and their never-failing enthusiasm.
Yes, a night out with a bunch of queens is just what I need.
Tia doesn’t respond to my message, even though the little read receipt shows beneath it on my screen.
Irritation simmers under my skin while Lenny goes on and on at me about keeping my dick on a leash. My fists clench, and I level her with my pissed-off glare. “Enough, Len. You don’t know anything about me and Tia, so drop it.”
Her eyes narrow in suspicion. “Are you telling me there is a you and Tia outside of the arrangement we’ve made?”
I shrug. “There might be, but it’s none of your business. We’ve both agreed to this insane plan of yours, so back off already.”
“Back off? You want me to back off? How about you start acting like the grown-ass man you are and get your life together, then I’ll back off. Until then, you’ve made it more than clear you need supervision,” she says, drumming her nails against the kitchen counter she’s perched at.
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” I growl.
Len quirks a disbelieving brow. “If you start crossing lines with Tia, things are going to start getting blurry for both of you. You haven’t been in a long-term relationship since”—she pauses, her face scrunching as she thinks—“well, ever. So what makes you think you can start shagging Tia and still be happy doing so a year from now?”
“Maybe because I can have an actual conversation with her. Or that she doesn’t give a shit about my money or status. It could even be the fact that she knows more about me than anyone else and has never made me feel less than my for decisions, whether they make sense to her or not,” I shoot back, sick of this discussion.
My sister stares at me in stunned silence, her jaw unhinged as she blinks at me. Eventually, she pulls herself together enough to say, “Okay.”
It’s my turn to gape at her now. “That’s it? Okay? You’re done with your lecture just like that?”
She smiles at me then, genuine happiness shining in her gaze. “Yep.”
I scratch my head. I do not understand women.
Music pulses around me as I make my way across the room to the table Addy reserves for us when we hang
out at Trixie’s. She’s already seated, sipping on a drink, when I step up behind her and wrap my arms around her shoulders in a hug.
“Hey,” she says, resting a hand over my forearm. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.” I move around to slide into the bench seat on the other side of the table. “What are we drinking tonight?”
“Appletinis.” She lifts her hand, signaling to a passing waitress, then points at her drink and holds up two fingers. “You are drinking tonight, right?”
“I’ll have one or two.” I’m not a big drinker. The few times I have had a few too many, I’ve been with Addy. According to her, I’m the cutest drunk she’s ever seen. I get excessively affectionate when I overindulge, whether I know the person or not. And I’m really not okay with that.
Janessa appears at our table, two fresh appletinis in hand. “Giiirl, where have you been? I see you got yourself a man and didn’t even tell us.” She pouts.
I get up to hug the six-foot-three drag queen that towers above me even more than she regularly would because she’s also wearing skyscraper heels. “Hey, Nessa, it’s good to see you. You’re looking amazing, as per usual.”
She winks, her excessive glittery eyeshadow sparkling with the action. “Don’t I know it. Now tell me about this delectable man of yours.”
Adley cuts in. “Back to work, slacker, or I’ll tell management.”
Janessa rolls her eyes at said manager. “Killjoy,” she mutters then turns back to me. “I’ll talk to you later, honeybunch.” She gives me a little finger wave then spins on her heels and struts back to the bar, her sequined mini-dress twinkling as she goes.
Returning to my seat, I pick up my drink, take a sip, then lick my lips, ensuring I don’t miss a drop. Addy’s watching me closely, so I poke my tongue at her. “What?”