Psychic Spiral (of Death)

by Amie Gibbons

  “Carvi?” I asked, knowing I’d regret it.

  “Don’t you dare ask if I’m okay,” Carvi snapped.

  “Carvagio,” Quil said, keeping his voice even.

  “You. Have. No idea. How hard this is,” Carvi said like the words had to be pulled from his mouth. “To be in the past, able to save my brother, and having to hold myself back so I don’t set off something catastrophic in the future. I could save him with a phone call, and I have to hold myself back. You have no clue.”

  “No,” Quil said, “no, I do not. Not in the same way. But we all have loses.”

  “You have never lost your soulmate,” Carvi said. “People say soulmates like it’s romantic, but not always. A true friend or a brother can be a soulmate just as someone romantically involved. Milo was my other half. And right now, if I wasn’t holding myself back with everything I have in me, I could save him, consequences be damned. So do not ask me anything right now.”

  Quil and I looked at each other.

  What could anyone say to that?

  Carvi jerked his chin and AB fell into step next to him as they walked away.

  I stared after them.

  The field was a well-groomed, wide swatch of grass.

  Almost like a soccer field.

  “Are we at a park or a school?” I asked after we’d sat in silence way too long.

  “Park,” Quil said. “Middle of the day, so most people are at work.”

  “And it’s a little hot for most people to be playing sports or something out here,” I said.

  Why did this feel like small talk?

  “Quil, something you aren’t telling me?” I asked.

  He shook his head, smiling as he sat next to me. “I love you, sweets. You are a mystery that I can not wrap my mind around. What you can do.” He shook his head. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. Not even Milo could rip through dimensions like you did, at least, not that I know of. And not even he could have thrown the door wide open like you did earlier.”

  “I…” I chewed on my lower lip. “In the vision I had when I was breaking out, I felt things. I knew things. The reason I’m so powerful, the reason I can do the things I do, is because I was created to be.”

  Quil’s head jerked back.

  I smiled, wide and nervous. “I remember sensing it. Almost like Karma was talkin’ to me. I was the force she used to balance out the massive imbalance in Alabama last time this happened. I was in the womb then, and I still don’t know what happened, but the teetertotter was off, and I was the sandbag she put on the opposite end to balance it out.”

  Quil just stared at me.

  I finally looked away.

  “So, there’s at least a reason I’m so powerful,” I said, picking at the grass between us. “I don’t know why me, but, yeah, I was put on this earth to fix an imbalance. And, I know he said he didn’t do it, but I think it had something to do with Carvi. I think that’s why we’re tied together. I think he’s figured that out too.”

  I licked my lips. “I’m scared, Quil. I think I’m tied to him, forever, and I… I’m scared.”

  I didn’t know how true that was until it came outta my mouth.

  Quil put his arm around me, scooching closer so he was leaning against the tree too, and pulled me against his side, turning my chin toward him with his other hand.

  “Sweets, you are a miracle, no matter what made you one or why. You, the person you are without your powers, are a miracle. I don’t care who you are supposedly tied to or why, no one can tie you to anyone without your consent. If you want to be free of Carvi, you can be. He can not hold you. I don’t think anyone can.”

  “They can if I let them.” A smile inched onto my face as I flicked my eyes up at him, pulling some grass up and tossing it in his face.

  He laughed, big and booming and grabbed my hips, pulling me on top of him so fast I gasped.

  “Quil,” I barely got out before he kissed me.

  Hard and all consuming.

  I readjusted so I was straddling him more comfortably and kissed him back as he wrapped his hand in my hair, and I braced myself on his shoulders, rubbing against him as we kissed.

  ###

  “What did I miss?” Carvi sounded downright pissy as I opened my eyes.

  I lay against Quil in the grass with my head on his chest, clothes all skewampus from being pushed and pulled outta the way, but not taken off.

  I’d never had sex fully dressed like that.

  My panties hadn’t even come off. We’d just pulled them to the side.

  And I felt a lot better after sucking blood and other things out of Quil.

  I sat up, staring Carvi down. “Would sex make you feel better?”

  His eyes went hard and I flinched.

  Wow, I was going for a joke… maybe even an offer.

  But I swear he looked insulted.

  He held up the KFC bag that smelled amazing and looked like one of their family meals.

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just suggest a good fuck would make me forget I could be saving my brother’s life right now,” he said.

  I made myself look him in the eyes.

  “No, you couldn’t be,” I said, voice shaking. “Carvi, you know you can’t save him, so you’re not missing out on it right now, and you shouldn’t be doin’ anything, cuz you know you couldn’t balance it. He’s already dead, there’s nothing you can do about that. I’m offering to make you feel better about this tease we’re putting you through. Because that’s all it is. It’s a fake belief that you could save him. You couldn’t, and you can’t.”

  He just stared at me.

  “If that helps at all,” I said.

  AB walked into view, holding another bag I was guessing had picnic supplies in it, and a heavier bag with bottles.

  “It doesn’t,” Carvi said, “but thank you for trying.”

  AB reached us and we doled out the plastic plates and filled them up with still hot fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and mac and cheese.

  Turned out Carvi hated coleslaw even more than I did, hated anything with mayo in it, especially the smell.

  AB had gotten a few bottled waters and sodas, and we all downed water, and I grabbed a root beer after that.

  All this magic use had to be burning calories, right?

  Especially since I’d spent so much energy I’d passed out.

  I was pretty sure that meant I could eat whatever I wanted.

  Including seconds on soda and mac and cheese.

  I lay back down after eating my fill, my stomach about to burst open.

  I felt a hundred times better then when I woke up, but still not up for doing much of anything magicwise.

  Honestly? All I wanted was a nap.

  “I’m not sure what to do to get the magic going,” I said as AB cleaned up the plates, leftover cardboard, and Styrofoam containers.

  “Alcohol,” Carvi and Quil said as one as AB walked out of view with the bags, probably to throw them away.

  That was mighty thoughtful of her.

  “I got food, sex, vamp blood,” I said. “I’m not sure alcohol’s gonna help if those didn’t.”

  Quil grinned, lying on his back in the grass with his hands behind his head. “I will have to do this more often.”

  “Do spells to walk in the sun?” I asked. “Have you before?”

  “Every once in a while. It’s usually too much power and hassle, but with Pyro’s threads, it wasn’t that difficult.”

  “You’ll just have to ask him nicely for some more then,” I said, glancing at Carvi.

  If he was annoyed by our tangent, he wasn’t showing it.

  Actually, he wasn’t showing much of anything.

  “Carvi,” I said.

  “No,” he said. “Don’t say anything. We need you to get powered up, get in whatever river of magic you were talking about, and find this girl. Then we find her parents. We figure out who they were, go back to our time, and make them tell us what t
hey did. That’s it. That’s the only thing we’re talking about.”

  Was it just me, or was his accent getting thicker?

  I’d been told mine did when I was stressed or nervous.

  His probably did too.

  How hard must this be for him?

  To be in the past, one phone call away from his brother.

  The temptation to do something to save Milo had to be incredible.

  But even just to call him? To hear his voice one more time?

  The knowledge that he could do that so easily, without obviously sending the universe careening off balance, even though that was still a risk, had to be torture for him.

  “Carvi, you’re doing good,” I said. “I don’t know how you’re doing it, but you’re doing so good.”

  Carvi shoved to his feet without a word and walked towards where AB had vanished over a slope in the ground.

  “Oooooookay,” I said. “That was not good.”

  “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for him,” Quil said.

  “You’ve lost people you loved over the years.”

  “Yes, but no one like that. I’ve never lost a soulmate. I lost my wife. That’s the closest I can think to this. And we were only together a few years. Carvi lost the person who had been his partner in life, his second half, certainly his better half, for thousands of years.”

  “He seems so fine most of the time,” I said. “I forget that he’s not, that he has this huge hole in his life. That he’s really damaged.”

  “That’s how he likes it.”

  “Do we follow them?” I asked.

  Quil shook his head. “Give them a minute. AB may be able to talk to him. Or he may need a few minutes away from us. Either way, he will come back when he’s ready.”

  I nodded. “Until then, how do we power me up? I’m feeling soooo much better, I am, but I don’t feel charged. I don’t feel like I could get anything more than the very basic visions I used to get when this all first started.”

  “Remember what charged you back then?” Quil asked, smiling.

  I nodded. “You told me alcohol and brought me appletinis. It was our first case together. God, was that only six months ago?”

  He laughed. “Yes, yes it was.”

  “It feels like a lifetime. So much has changed.” I shook my head and pushed my hair back, holding my hands tight to my head for a moment. “I used to just touch things and people and hope for the best. I couldn’t see the future. I couldn’t really track anyone.

  “Now? I mean, not right now cuz I’m pretty drained, but you know what I mean. Now, I can think of someone and see them. I can ask a question in my mind and get the answer.

  “I can rip holes through dimensions and time. That’s a whole new level of weird.”

  “You’ve come a long way in such a short time,” Quil said. “I’m proud of you. Not just for learning your powers. You’ve grown up, Ariana Kay Ryder.”

  I smiled. “You sure about that? I still seem to be making some pretty big mistakes.”

  “Growing up doesn’t mean not making mistakes, it means picking yourself up after them. You have fallen so many times, some worse than others, and every time, you pick yourself back up. You’ve been handling things better, just this last week alone.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” I said. “I wasn’t feeling too mature on Halloween.”

  “You weren’t acting mature, but you have matured even since then. This whole thing with your father, for instance. You didn’t fight with Karma. You didn’t throw a fit. You took her deal, and said you’d do it to save your father. Most people faced with that would have at least argued with her.”

  “Like Carvi saying she could do it if she wanted to.”

  Quil nodded. “Exactly. But you made the deal and you’re working your side. That’s not the only time I’ve seen this more mature side of you. You were wonderful working with AB. She’s older than you, but you stepped up when she was hurting. You got into her issues and helped her with them.”

  “Any friend would do that.”

  “Part of being an adult is being a good friend, because it’s being selfless. Take the compliment.”

  I smiled and nodded.

  Carvi and AB walked up and I looked at them.

  “I think alcohol would help the most now,” Carvi said. “That, and a crowd for you to draw energy from, preferably with you singing. And I think we should stick together.”

  “I guess we’re hittin’ the town,” I said, taking Quil’s hand and standing, him close behind.

  “Are you ready to party like it’s two thousand and nine?” I asked, grinning.

  ###

  “Good evening, Montgomery,” I crowed, twirling.

  Heads turned, and a woman dodged outta my way. I caught a scowl and a flash of blue eyes as she huffed at me and hurried along.

  Quil caught my arm and pulled me close to him, wrapping my arm in his to keep me walking.

  The streetlights were barely coming on and the sidewalk was, well, not crowded, but busier than earlier, with people headed off to dinner in this little side area with a line of restaurants and bars.

  It wasn’t anything like what we had in Nashville. It wasn’t Broadway or Division or Woodland Street, but it had a few places, and they had booze, so it was good enough.

  I’d had three mint juleps and was feeling pretty darn good.

  “Whoooooo!” I called, throwing up my free hand.

  “Not so loud, sweets,” Quil said, patting my arm.

  “Why?” I asked. “I’m the baby. Got to be loud to be heard, right?”

  I laughed and stumbled into him, slipping my arm out of his and hugging his side tight.

  “Okay,” he said. “We need to get her someplace more discrete.”

  “Motel room,” Carvi said.

  He had his grrrrrr on again.

  Like totally frosty and hard faced, and I wasn’t gonna have it.

  “Carvi,” I sang, drawing out his name in a high note.

  “I swear to God, lea, keep it up,” he snapped off, colder than an icicle.

  “Okay!” I said, slipping away from Quil.

  Quil grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

  “Motel down the street,” Carvi said. “It’s big enough to have vacancies and they should take cash and charge by the hour.”

  “How do you know about it?” AB asked, holding up her phone. “You didn’t look it up because our phones don’t work here. I’m not sure why. It’s two thousand and nine, they had smart phones then.”

  “Our phones are out of commission because they do not fit into the cellular structure now,” Carvi said.

  “Why so serious?” I asked him, pitching my voice low.

  He stared straight forward, marching faster.

  He’d been a big old stick during dinner too.

  “Carvi,” I started.

  “Ariana,” Quil said softly, pulling my arm so I was back against him, “please leave him be. He is in pain and he is struggling. Let it lie.”

  I looked up into his eyes, trying to focus mine.

  My foot hit a crack in the sidewalk and I squawked as I fell forward.

  Quil caught me halfway down and lifted me up, setting me on my feet again.

  “I think I overdid it,” I said.

  Nobody said anything.

  We got to the motel after a few minutes and my brains were still soup. It didn’t take long for Carvi to get us a room on the top floor.

  It was another thing we’d have to balance out when we got back. Again, something little, it wasn’t like the place didn’t have plenty of rooms, but it was still a change.

  Geez, those were adding up.

  Carvi led us in and closed the door behind us, locking and deadbolting the door.

  The place smelled like mold and I wrinkled my nose.

  It wasn’t terrible. It was a typical small motel. The bedding and carpet were drab variants of green, but clean, and the walls were faded paint that prob
ably used to be blue but were grey now.

  The TV was a big boxy one on the dresser and I giggled.

  “I haven’t seen a… whatever a non-flat screen is called, in like ten years,” I said. “No, really, like no hotel or restaurant or anything has these, even seven and a half years ago.”

  Carvi grabbed me around the waist and tossed me on the bed.

  I giggled as I bounced, licking my lips as I gave him the big eyes.

  “No,” he said sharply. “Do not say anything dirty right now. I am not in the mood.”

  “Now I’m worried,” AB said, slapping a hand over her mouth, eyes flying big as mine behind her glasses. “Sorry.” She lowered her hand. “I wasn’t trying to be snarky. Just, you know, you’re always in the mood for dirty.”

  Carvi placed a hand on her shoulder and she relaxed.

  “Ariana,” Carvi said, “close your eyes. We’re going into the vision world. We’re going to see what you saw in our time.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes.

  Right. Work to do.

  People to find.

  I opened my eyes and lifted outta my body.

  Suddenly feeling a lot more clear-headed.

  “I’m not drunk on the astral plane?” I asked.

  “Less so,” Carvi said. “Part of the alcohol in your system is working on getting you here in the first place.”

  Did that make sense?

  I shrugged.

  Probably.

  This magic theory stuff was so not my area.

  “Okay,” I said, “how do I get back to that river again? How do I see it?”

  Carvi gave me his blank look. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  I sighed and looked down at my body.

  “Okay, focus,” I said out loud as I closed my eyes. “Come on, river. Isn’t that a song?”

  “Ariana.” Carvi’s voice gave away nothing.

  I focused on the river, on what I’d seen, on the little girl.

  It hadn’t happened yet, so it hadn’t been changed yet, and I should be able to see it.

  I’d felt it before.

  “I don’t know what to do!” I finally huffed after who knew how long, opening my eyes and slamming my arms up then down to my sides. “Carvi, I’m gettin’ seriously frustrated. Tell me what to do!”