Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1)

by Jaime Guerard

  Opening my eyes wide, trying to bat the tears away, I responded quietly, “Caleb, I love you and Dad loves you and that’s all that matters.”

  He covered his eyes with his hands and began to weep uncontrollably.

  “Don’t cry.” My attempt to calm him down wasn’t working so I just let his emotions come.

  I reached over and rubbed his back. He didn’t need this. He was so young and fragile. This age was so confusing to a young boy and I was mad that she was destroying this family. I held him tight. I hated her for what she was doing to dad, Caleb and me.

  He wiped his eyes and took a huge breath. “Can I just be alone?” He picked up his headphones and put them back on his head.

  I didn’t want to leave him, but he needed this. I locked myself in my room and quickly dressed in warm sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Twisting my hair up in a loose bun on my head, I copied Caleb, grabbing my iPod from my desk drawer, hoping to drown out any more noise coming from the other side of the house.

  I’ll brush my teeth later when they go to bed, I thought as I wedged the ear phones in my ears and turned the first song on full blast not caring who it was, just anything to distract me. Climbing under my covers, I turned off the light and closed my eyes, really concentrating on the words to each song. Shockingly, I never really listened to the words so closely before and really didn’t have a clue – until now – what they were talking about. Even though I sang these songs over and over, I was almost embarrassed by what they meant. One song talked about having sex and not caring who it was with. Another was boasting about how much money they made and how anyone who isn’t rich is worthless and a loser. I was trying to get away from negative things and this wasn’t helping.

  Scrolling over the list of song choices, I finally settled on sound-scapes, a compilation of soft, pretty music with earth sounds such as rain or the ocean. I quietly thanked Stephanie. I let her borrow my iPod last summer for a vacation and she loaded it with music.

  Turning on my side and sinking deeper under my covers, I was thankful when my shivering body let up and the heat relaxed me until I dosed in and out of consciousness. I had no idea how exhausted I was until I was pushing away the craziness of my life.

  A while later, I woke from the blaring music in my ears. Eleven-fifty. I grumbled, rolling onto my back and pulling the ear pieces out of my now throbbing ear drums. I must’ve been really tired if I slept through all of that. Switching my light on, I first noticed how quiet the house was. With the exception of my pounding ears, there wasn’t anything moving in the house at all. That was comforting. I did notice, however, that the porch light was on outside.

  I crept to the window and looked out over the black, empty street. Every house on my block was still, no movement, no light. I stood there for a moment taking in the quiet soothing night. My mother’s car was still in the driveway, but my father’s truck was missing. Where could he have gone? If my car was here I would go and look for him, but since it wasn’t I decided to brush my teeth.

  I started to walk out of my room when a low buzzing noise startled me. It was coming from near my bed. Slowly I looked around the corner to my nightstand and spotted the source ― my cell phone. Limp with relief, I picked up and hit the message function. I had two unheard messages: one at nine and one at ten-thirty. Starting to listen to the first message, I immediately smiled when I heard his voice.

  “Bre, it’s Austin...” He had a nice voice, so gentle, but masculine at the same time. “Sorry I’m calling you, but I was just worried about you. Call me if you need to talk, I’ll be here.”

  The lady on the message machine prompted: “to save this message press nine, to delete it press seven.”

  Beep. “Message saved,” she answered. Okay, so why was I saving this message? I ignored that thought and kept listening.

  “Next voice message.”

  My heart beat a little faster as he spoke.

  “Hi Bre, it’s me again. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Call me back.”

  Again the lady prompted me to pick.

  Beep. Why? Why am I saving this?

  Eleven fifty-five. Darn, it was too late. He was probably asleep now. Maybe I should send him a text so when he woke up tomorrow morning he’d get it first thing.

  Typing into the phone I wrote:

  Austin, sorry I didn’t call you back. I fell asleep and just got the message. Don’t worry. I’m fine. I will see you tomorrow morning. Bre.

  Placing the phone back on the nightstand, I tiptoed out my door and into the bathroom. I bushed my teeth and washed my face. In the security of my sheets, I began to switch off the light when my phone vibrated. It was a text from Austin.

  Call me!

  I sat up. Was he waiting for me to call? Hitting the talk button, he picked up in one ring.

  “Breanna?” he answered, sounding a little groggy.

  “Hey.” I waited for him to speak.

  “How are you? I was getting worried when you didn’t call me back. Sorry about all the messages.”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m doing okay,” I lied. I was anything but okay. I was hurt. I was depressed. And to top it off, I felt worthless.

  “No, you’re not. What happened tonight? I can tell by your voice, everything’s not alright,” his voice sank.

  I hesitated. I was tempted to give in and spill it, but didn’t.

  “No, really, I’m fine.”

  Why am I such a bad liar? Hasn’t being around Beck for all these years taught me anything?

  “I’m not buying it. Now tell me,” he pushed.

  “Tomorrow,” I promised. “It’s really late and we both need to sleep. You sound exhausted and I want you to function at school tomorrow.”

  His concern made me feel warm and safe. “Tomorrow then…promise?”

  “I promise.”

  “Alright. See you at seven.”

  “I thought you were picking me up at seven-fifteen?”

  He corrected me and I understood, “Seven o’clock.”

  “Seven it is.”

  “Sweet dreams.” His soft, thoughtful voice hung in the air.

  “Good night…oh, and Austin?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?” He sounded confused.

  “For being such a good friend.”

  “You’re welcome.” There was a smile in his voice as he hung up the phone.

  Then my cell phone lit up again with a text. From Austin, simply reading.

  Night, Bel Ange

  It was a good thing that I was taking French because I knew exactly what it said. He wrote ‘Beautiful Angel’. My heart swelled as I smiled to myself.

  It took a while to fall asleep after that. In the morning, I sprung from bed, eager to begin the day. My dad’s car was still missing and Mom’s was still there, but that didn’t seem to affect my mood in the slightest.

  I took a hot shower, dressed, and was in the kitchen buttering my waffle when Susan walked up behind me, grabbing the coffee pot sitting next to the toaster oven.

  I kept my attention on the task in front of me when she spoke. “Well, well, if it isn’t my daughter, the one who doesn’t seem to know her place in this world.”

  Ignoring her snide comment, I grabbed the syrup and poured it over my waffles.

  Since I didn’t speak up she continued, “There's going to be some changes around here since I’ll be here for awhile.” Changes, yeah right, like I’m going to let her boss me around. “Starting with, you’re grounded for a week.”

  What?

  “Grounded? Excuse me! For what?”

  The mood was instantly altered.

  “For the way you talked to me last night.”

  Keep calm.

  “You’ll come straight home from school today,” she added.

  “No I won’t,” I defied her.

  “Excuse me? Yes you will.” She was getting sharp.

  “I have to work tonight,” I snapped. />
  “Since when did you get a job?”

  “Since, that’s none of your business.”

  This was the wrong thing to say, but I just couldn’t help myself. Who did she really think she was, coming here after all these years and commanding me like she thought she owned me?

  I set the plate down on the counter, grabbed my backpack and headed for the door. I couldn’t be here anymore.

  Her eyes went big, her face red as a beat. “Where do you think you are going? Get back here. We’re not done!”

  Opening the front door I didn’t look at her, “Like you said last night…we were done the moment you gave birth to me.” I slammed the door behind me.

  Austin wasn’t there yet, so I started walking, hoping he’d show up soon. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the house for fear of Susan coming out and starting something again, possibly in front of Austin. Maybe walking this anger off before Austin got here would be a good thing.

  It was bright and beautiful crisp day, especially for the time of year. Normally we got a lot of rain, but today held that perfect fall season. Light clouds spread over the crystal-blue sky and it didn’t appear they’d do much today. The leaves were beginning to change to an amazing mixture of auburn red, canary yellow, and pumpkin orange. The streets were dusted with the first of many leaves, scattered everywhere you looked. As I walked down my street, I captured the rays of sunshine on my face, make-believing it was flushing the bad mood away and re-surfacing the cheerful feeling I woke up with this morning. Slowly the tension eased and the peacefulness returned. Austin's truck turned onto my road. As it inched up next to me, I could see the look on Austin's face. He was clearly worried.

  "Bre? What?" He didn't even have the truck fully stopped before he opened the door.

  I held my hands up, telling him, "Don't worry. I'm fine."

  His face hardened with disbelief. "Why are you walking down the street? I knew something was wrong last night. I knew you should’ve told me what was going on."

  Climbing up and into the truck from the driver’s side, I slid down the seat and snapped my seatbelt in place. "Well..." He climbed in after me, not even worrying about the seat belt, "you knew that my moth…that Susan came home last night."

  "Yeah." he responded.

  "She was home early because she lost her job. When I went inside, she was blaming my dad so I stepped in. Which, maybe I should’ve just gone to my room but I couldn’t stand it.” I was getting emotionally charged. Before I could really think about it I blurted, “She said that she wished I was never born. She wished she wasn’t a mother and she doesn’t want to be in our family at all." There it was, all of it.

  Okay, don't. Don’t cry. Don't start crying in front of him. I tried to warn myself, but it was difficult. I breathed in and out. Don’t cry!

  Austin whispered, "Bre, I'm so sorry."

  "Yeah, well, the worst part about all of this is my brother, he heard the whole thing and I think it really affected him." Wiping underneath my eyes, I stared out the window at the white picket fence that surrounded one of the neighbor’s homes.

  I couldn’t get the picture of Caleb sitting in the corner of his room out of my mind.

  "Did anything else happen this morning?”

  "Yes." I looked down at my folded hands in my lap. "My mother told me I was grounded. She said I didn't know my place in this world. I couldn't take being near her anymore so I just left."

  "Hey. Look at me." He gently reached over and wiped away the escaping tears that had passed down my face. "Now, I'm not defending your mother at all, but there’s no way she meant it. I can't see how anyone would not want you. You’re amazing, and to wish you were never born, she was just probably hurt and angry. We never really say things the right way when we’re angry."

  "No, she meant it. I think I’ve always known, just chose not to believe it.”

  He gave me a little smile, trying to cheer me up. "If it were true, and I hope it’s not, it’s her loss because you’re a special person. I couldn't imagine my life without you."

  The way he was looking at me made me blush and I didn't know what to say. I bit my lip nervously. Austin cleared his throat, slowly turning the truck in the other direction, heading for school. We arrived early and only three cars were in the parking lot.

  "So what do we do until school starts?" Austin asked, taking his seatbelt off and pulling his arms through his jacket.

  "I'm not sure," I said as I wiped my face one more time.

  My phone rang. I fished it from the front pocket of my backpack.

  "It's Rebecca." I answered it. "Hey, Beck."

  "Hey, so are we still on for this morning? You know, the whole Eve thing?"

  "I was planning on it."

  Someone parked in the spot next to us.

  "Okay. I should be there in ten minutes," Becka said.

  "Alright."

  I was just about to hang up when she added. "Oh, sooo, how was your first day at your new job?" She sounded a little too interested.

  "It was good, I guess. Busy."

  "That's good but what I really mean is, how was the new job and working with

  Austin?"

  "Oh...ummm..." Austin was staring at me, grinning like he knew what we were talking about. "It was fine." I turned my eyes back to the school.

  "Just fine?” She scoffed. “Come on, you have to give me more than that."

  "Can we talk about this later?" I tried to whisper through the phone.

  "Oh, is he right there?"

  "Yes." I said threw my teeth.

  "Ohhh, okay! We’ll talk about it when I see you."

  "See you soon."

  Stuffing the phone back into my backpack, Austin asked, "So what was all that about?" He grinned from ear to ear and rubbed his chin.

  "It’s nothing. We just have something to do before class," I said as nonchalant as I could.

  “Hmm,” he said, chuckling under his breath so quietly I don’t think I was supposed to hear it.

  "Do you mind if we stay in the car until she gets here? It’s kind of cold out."

  "Sure." He was still smiling.

  "What?"

  "Nothing."

  Dropping it, we caught up on everything we’d missed all these years. He started with his mother, who recently got remarried to Brian. He said his new stepfather was awesome and had worked for the fire department in town for over ten years. He told me he’d never seen his mother so happy before and how wonderful it was that she’d found the right person for her.

  "He’s the father I never had,” he said nostalgically. I wasn’t sure if it was for me or himself, and I realized I had no idea what’d happened to his dad. We were so young back then I never noticed that a father wasn’t around at all. However, it didn't seem like the right time to spark up that conversation with Rebecca almost to the truck.

  "Austin, thanks for the talk, it helped a lot," I said. "And thank you for the ride. Hopefully, my dad will have my car ready and you won’t have to pick me up anymore."

  "Even if you did have your car, I’d still wanna pick you up for school." His face was serious.

  I played with the strap of my backpack. "Oh, well thanks. I’ll think about it."

  Becka opened my door for me. "Hey guys!"

  Austin looked at me and smiled before talking to Rebecca. "Good morning."

  Thank you, Beck, I thought. She had just spared me from another awkward moment.

  "Austin, looking good today." Becka pointed out as she winked in my direction.

  "You’re not so bad yourself." He looked at me, showing his pearly whites. Was that meant for me or Beck? I was getting really uneasy.

  "Alright, Beck," I muttered, pushing her out of my way so I could get down from the truck.

  "What?" she said.

  She was getting way too obvious and I didn't want Austin to get the wrong impression. At least not yet. Oh, what was I thinking?

  Closing the truck door so only my head could fit through,
I said, "I’ll see you later."

  "Yep. Oh and Bre?"

  "Yeah?"

  He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. "You look really good also."

  My heart fluttered. I tried not to smile but couldn’t. "Thanks."

  Pleased, he sat up, still staring at me. I shut the door and grabbed Beck's arm. Beck glanced back at Austin’s truck at least five times. She couldn't help herself.

  Inside I stopped her. "What was that all about?"

  "I don't know what you’re talking about?" she smiled, holding a laugh in.

  Narrowing my eyes and placing my hands on my hips, she started to get the feeling that I wasn't happy with what she was doing so she spoke up again.

  "What? Okay…I knew you weren't going to do anything, so I thought I’d start things up a little."

  "Beck, Austin’s like a brother. Nothing’s ever going to happen here. Can you please quit whatever you’re doing, and just let us be friends? I just broke up with Josh and I don't want to deal with any new relationships right now."

  She wasn’t buying it. "Well, let me ask you something? If that Collin guy showed up, would you go for him even though you just broke up with Josh?"

  My head snapped back. She had me. "That's different."

  "No, that’s insane! Do you hear yourself right now? You’re dreaming about this guy who doesn't even exist when you have a wonderful guy, and let me add, pretty hot guy, who obviously is into you. Stop thinking Collin’s gonna show up, and focus on what's in front of you."

  My lips pursed into an angry line. "Even if you’re right about Collin, I still wouldn't date Austin. I wouldn't want to ruin what we have. I don't look at him like that."

  "Whatever. You will change your mind. Let's go and find Eve."

  The halls were becoming crowded now, a good sign that Eve would be at her locker soon. I knew which one was hers. I’d seen her rifling through it yesterday. We got there before her and waited.

  "Hello there, girls." Eve walked up to us and turned the dial on the lock.

  "Morning, Eve. How are you?" I asked.

  "Not so good. Didn't sleep much last night.” She grabbed her Algebra book and dropped it into her bag. Zipping it up, she shut her locker and turned to faced us.