Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1)

by Jaime Guerard

  I pulled my sleeves down, feeling nothing but frustration and disappointment. What am I supposed to do with that? I didn’t get enough information to determine anything. I was so angry. I tried calming myself down and forced myself to concentrate on the positive. I did get something. I’m sure there’ll be another vision soon. I hoped. All I needed to do was try to decipher what I just saw. I opened my nightstand drawer and took out a small note pad. I immediately wrote down everything. Yellow, green, 12 O U D. Water? I placed the paper on my lap. With what I already knew, this vision was about Josh. Looking up at the ceiling, I starting to break down what I knew about him. What was Josh’s favorite color? Well, his truck was black, but the school colors were green and yellow. I jotted all three down. That could be one clue. Next, O-U-D…I thought about it again. O-U-D? What does that mean? Well…O could stand for Oregon? But U and D, I had no idea. I wrote down Oregon on my note pad. Last was the number. His number for football was twenty-one. He was seventeen. His phone number was 555-4545. His lucky number was 8. The only thing that I could sort of make sense of was his jersey number for football, twenty-one. It wasn’t twelve, but it was the same set of numbers. There was a two and a one in it.

  I placed the note pad back in the drawer and lay down on the bed, still thinking. Eventually I fell asleep amidst a myriad of thoughts.

  Today was a bit…scattered, to say the least. Such was my life lately. If I had learned anything this past year, it was that life was just a sequence of situations and events that forced you out of your comfort zone. I was constantly dealing with life’s imperfection head on.

  I got to school early and walked down each and every hallway, stopping periodically to ask one of my peers if they had seen Josh. All I got was the same answer replaying like a broken record, ‘we haven’t seen him.’

  I rounded the corner at the far end of the school when I almost walked right into Collin’s locker as he opened it.

  “Hey!” I said, surprised.

  “Well, good morning! I was hoping to see you.” He smiled, putting a book away.

  “So, this is your new locker, huh?”

  “Yep. All the way down here,” he said, emphasizing each word.

  I crossed my arms. “At least you got one all to yourself. Some seniors have to share. Be thankful.”

  “Oh, I am, I am.” He flashed another playful smile at me.

  “So what’s your first class?”

  “I’m not sure. I was just about to go to the office and get my schedule. Wanna come with me?”

  “Sure.” I shrugged.

  We started in the direction of the office. It was still surreal that he was here.

  He ran a hand through his hair. “So, what were you doing down here? Do you have a class?”

  “No, just looking for someone.”

  “Who were you looking for? I mean…” he caught himself, “not that I would even know,” he chuckled, realizing the obvious. With the exception of Austin and Rebecca, he didn’t know anyone else.

  “No, you know him,” I corrected. “I was looking for Josh.”

  “You were looking for Josh?” Uneasiness crept into his voice. I had a feeling he’d react that way.

  “It’s not what you think. I just need to talk to him about something,” I explained.

  “You need to talk about what?”

  “I need to ask why he invited my fourteen-year-old brother to a keg party this weekend.”

  His eyes blinked wide. “Really? Wow…He sounds like a real winner.”

  “Yeah,” I half-laughed, dryly.

  “Why would he do that? Are they friends?”

  I pulled my brow together. “No. When we were dating, he never even talked to him, and always mentioned how annoying he was.”

  “This has to be about you then,” he dropped his voice low.

  I stopped in front of the office. “How would this have anything to do with me?” I asked.

  How many times did I have to tell him, and everyone else, that we were over? Josh and I would never be anything again. Ever.

  “I don’t know. All I know is that if I were him, I’d be doing everything I could to get you back.”

  I looked around at all the students, pondering that idea. It wasn’t entirely crazy. He may have asked my brother to come in hopes that I’d try to stop him, and then end up at the same party.

  “I’ll be right back.” He went into the office.

  I leaned against the cold wall, closing my eyes and wishing this whole situation would just go away on its own.

  “There you are,” a deep voice chimed in. “I’ve been looking for you, beautiful.”

  I instantly popped my eyes wide open to see Josh hovering over me, resting one hand above my head.

  “Josh.” I pushed him away from me, standing up straight, but not before Collin walked out to see Josh invading my personal space. He didn’t look pleased.

  "Bre?" Collin spoke to me, but his eyes were on Josh, and I knew he wanted to know who the strange guy was.

  “Collin, this is Josh,” I introduced.

  “This is Josh?” Collin raised his eyebrows skeptically in Josh's direction. Disgust was clear on his face.

  “Yeah. Who are you?” Josh puffed his chest out like a peacock.

  “This is Collin,” I said.

  “Collin? You look strangely familiar.” Josh tucked his hands under his arms and raised his chin.

  “He’s Austin’s brother,” I snapped.

  “No!” Josh’s eyebrows rose in amazement. “That’s why you look so familiar. Wow, I had no idea Austin had a brother.”

  “Well, now you do,” I blurted before Collin could start talking. “I’ve been looking for you,” I icily stated.

  “Oh, yeah?” He smirked, clearly not reading my mood.

  “What the hell Josh,” I snapped.

  “What?” Josh was clearly puzzled.

  “Why would you invite Caleb to that party this weekend?”

  “Oh, that,” he chuckled.

  I glared at him. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “What? He wanted to come, so I told him he could,” he said, with not one bit of hesitation. Not one bit of remorse, guilt or common sense coming from his pea-sized brain.

  My hands started tingling as I squeezed them into tight fists. “Why did you tell him about it in the first place?”

  “I might’ve mentioned it to him in passing, but it was only because I wanted him to give you the message.”

  “What?”

  “You wouldn’t take any of my calls, so I asked Caleb to give you the message.”

  “Didn’t you think my lack of communication might be a clue that I’m not interested in getting back together?”

  He stuck his hands in his pockets and dropped his shoulders. “I know…I just thought…that day at the field we talked about being friends,” he reminded me in a soft voice.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “This party wasn’t a plan to get me back?”

  Collin stepped up a little closer. Josh’s eyes flickered to him briefly, then came back to me.

  “No, I know I don’t have a chance with you. I know I screwed up. I just wanted to hang out this weekend.” He sounded almost remorseful, but knowing Josh as I did, it was hard to believe that friendship was all he wanted. Then again, maybe it was just me, maybe I was reading too much into it. Maybe he was being sincere.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “So how about it?” he asked.

  I glanced at Collin, who hadn’t said one word the entire time. He looked extremely tense.

  I exhaled a sigh, “I guess I don’t have a choice, since my brother blackmailed me into going.”

  “Really? Awesome!” Josh cheered.

  Collin’s jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists.

  “No, it’s not awesome,” I spit.

  “What is he blackmailing you with?”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Come on Bre, what? All I have to do is ask
my new, little buddy.”

  “Don’t you dare,” I glared.

  The bell rang just then.

  “I guess I’ll see you at the party then.” Josh smiled, shooting one last warning glare at Collin before heading off to his first class.

  “Sorry about all of that,” I apologized, turning to face Collin.

  “You’re going to that party with that guy?” He frowned.

  “I have to go, but I’m not going with him.” He didn’t look happy. “Come with me,” I invited.

  “I can’t,” he said.

  “Why not? We’ll be able to spend some time together.”

  “I’m leaving that day.” He broke eye contact with me, resting his hands on his hips.

  My worst fear jabbed at the pit of my stomach. What did he mean by that?

  “I’m checking out a college this weekend. It’s last minute, but my mom just registered me last night. Everything lately seems to be last minute.”

  “Oh,” I said, a little saddened at the thought of him leaving.

  He came closer until he was a foot away from me. I was trapped in his gaze. “Bre, I know we haven’t been seeing each other long, and I might not have the right to say this, but…I don’t want you to go this weekend.”

  I closed my eyes. “You don’t understand.” I looked back to him. “If I don’t go, my brother will tell my parents I skipped school. Collin, I promise, you don’t have to worry. You even heard Josh say it was just a friend thing.”

  He shook his head. “You really don’t see it do you?” My brow knit together. “He wants you back. It’s so obvious. This is just a ploy,” he said seriously.

  “Well, if that’s the truth, it doesn’t matter, because I don’t want him. I want you.” I brushed my fingertips down his arm but dropped my hand immediately away so no one saw me.

  He paused. “Will you do something for me then?” his eyes serious.

  “What?”

  “Take Austin with you.”

  Did I just hear him right?

  “You want me to take Austin, to the party, without you?”

  “Yes,” he affirmed.

  “Why? Won’t that be a little…awkward?” I raised my eyebrows, hoping he was kidding.

  He discreetly brushed a hand down my cheek. “Yeah, but if there’s any chance of me losing you, I’d rather it be to my brother than that guy.”

  “Collin.” I took a step closer and trapped his fingers in mine. “You’re not going to lose me. Not to Austin and definitely not to Josh.” A part of me got lost in his eyes again, as I always did.

  “Bre, please,” he whispered, urgently.

  “All right, fine. I’ll ask Austin today,” I agreed, giving up. I was suddenly nervous about it.

  “Thank you,” Collin breathed out a sigh of relief. He let go of our hands.

  The last bell rang and we went in different directions.

  I decided to talk to Austin at the end of the day. No need to rush it. I was worried he’d get the wrong idea. I had to make absolutely sure he knew it wasn’t a date, just two friends going to a party, secretly protecting my little brother.

  The day was finally coming to an end, an end to my most unproductive day of school by far. Austin’s locker was right by mine and I always saw him there after school. I decided to wait there for him to come out. Opening up the locker, I grabbed the books I needed for my homework when I noticed a folded up piece of paper lying on my algebra book. I glanced behind me to see if anyone was looking before opening it. It was from Collin, asking to meet him behind the school before I talked to Austin.

  As I stood there with the letter in my hands, it all came back to me, as if I had already lived this moment. In a strange way, I knew I already had. I had dreamed about this note a long time ago. I slammed my locker shut and headed for the place where Collin told me to meet him. I knew the exact spot, behind classroom fifty-eight at the very end of campus.

  “Collin,” I breathed, coming around the back end of the building and seeing him standing in the exact spot I had dreamed of.

  “I thought this day would never end,” he said, the same way I remembered from my dream. “So, I see that you got my note,” he started to say.

  It was all the same, everything. Even the way the sun was shining through the trees, hitting him just right, making his blue eyes sparkle and shimmer in the afternoon sun.

  It was in that moment that I finally deciphered it all. I knew what it all meant. What I had been questioning for months made sense to me now. I finally realized the distinct difference between my visions and the dreams. I now knew that my visions were something that I could control. I had the power and the ability to change the outcome, to help change the course of what could be. But the dreams, every dream, up until now - of Collin the first time we met, Collin’s Dad and the accident, and now with Collin and this note - were events that would take place without any interference or intervention from me. The dreams seemed to be unchangeable regardless of my actions. I’d never be able to control them, as this instance with Collin proved. I couldn’t have prevented his father’s death.

  I didn’t mind the fact that I knew about certain events before they occurred. I had accepted this. On the other hand, it was difficult to have prior knowledge of something and know that there was nothing I could do to prevent it, like with Collin’s father. Not being able to save his life would always haunt me, and that was something I’d have to deal with and face later. For now, I was going to accept this as truth.

  “Collin, I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too, but we can’t hide from it anymore,” I blurted out. It flowed out of my mouth like it had been scripted, like we were on a set for the movie of my life.

  He stepped closer to me, our bodies only inches apart. He placed his hands on both sides of my shoulders. “I know you must think that I am a horrible person, but I can’t help it. I can’t help the way I feel about you…and it’s time I tell him,” he admitted to me for the second time.

  I saw it all before and I knew what was next. I only had a second before I heard Austin’s voice calling for me.

  “I know this isn’t going to make sense, but Austin’s about to call for me,” I told Collin.

  “What?” Collin asked, puzzled.

  “Bre?” Austin called from a distance.

  Collin stood there silently for a half a second before whispering, “Please don’t tell him yet. I’ll tell him when I get back. Just please let me be the one.” Collin hesitated for a brief moment. It looked like he wanted to kiss me. He reached up and placed his hand on the back of my neck. He slowly began to inch closer, watching my lips. My breathing picked up and I placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart pounding.

  “Bre?” Austin said once more just beyond the front of the building.

  Collin’s hand weakened on my neck. His eyes fell from my face and looked in the direction that Austin was. Then he stood up with a sigh. “You better go before he comes back here. Remember to let me tell him.”

  “Alright,” I quickly said, and sadly ran out to the front where Austin was.

  “I’m right here,” I said when I saw him. I was careful to walk around him so that his back was still to the building.

  “Oh, there you are. I saw you come this way, but I didn’t know where you disappeared to.” He frowned, glancing behind him and then back to me. “What were you doing back there?”

  “Oh, um…” I saw Collin peek out from behind the building and sneak out of sight. “Just looking for you. I thought you came over here,” my voice shook.

  He frowned at that ridiculous excuse, but he didn’t question it. I let out a deep sigh of relief when he started talking about something else.

  “So, I wanted to talk about yesterday. I know it was hard, coming over, and I certainly didn’t make it easy on you either. I’m sorry. It’s just that these past few weeks have been really hard on me, not that that’s any excuse. It’s just been difficult with my dad passing away and…” He
glanced up through his eyelashes, his sad, blue eyes piercing me. “What happened between us…I couldn’t handle it, and to be honest, seeing you yesterday hurt.”

  “Austin, I’m so sorry,” I pressed my lips together.

  “Please, you don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one that needs your forgiveness.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m the one that should be apologizing. I’m the one at fault here.”

  He took a shaky breath. “Well, the past is the past and I want to move on from here.”

  “Do you really think you can do that?” I asked.

  He swallowed hard and stared at me for a long time. I was sure he'd been thinking about the whole mess pretty much non-stop since I "broke up" with him that day in the restaurant, but I waited patiently for him to get up the courage to say what he needed. I was pretty sure what he was going to say, but as I stood there waiting, a brief twist in my stomach made me worry that he’d take back what he just said.

  “I’ve come to the point now that if I want you in my life, however that may be, I’ll have to keep my feelings to myself. It’s not worth losing you again.”

  I couldn’t respond. I couldn’t think. Nothing was coming out of my mouth. I just looked at him, seeing my best friend whom I loved so deeply. He was like family to me. Not even Rebecca or Collin could measure up to how I felt about Austin on that level. The love that I held for Collin was a different kind of love, a love that no one else would ever touch. Even though I wasn’t completely sure if he felt the same way, I knew I was in love him. What I felt for Austin was a brotherly type of love. Being here right now with him, and having him say that to me ripped at my heart and suddenly, if ever there was the slightest hint of question about liking him in the other light, it was right now.