“No.” I shook my head. “You can’t help with this. I appreciate you trying, and I love you for that, but there’s really nothing you can do.”
He studied me, his head tilting just a little and his eyes scanning my face. The concern in his eyes relaxed and there was a moment when I felt something happen between us that I wish hadn’t. He started to learn forward. My breath caught in my throat, and I knew what was coming. I gripped the armrest, fighting with myself to stand up before anything happened, but no words came. The closer he got, the more rapid my breathing became, until he was inches away from my lips, and I blurted the first thing that came to mind.
“We should get going! It’s time to pick up my brother.”
He froze there. I could feel his cool breath on my face. He was so close that I had to focus my sight to see him better. When I did, I wished I hadn’t. I could almost feel the pain seeping out of him. He backed away slowly and stood up, reaching for my hand. Taking a much needed breath, I took his hand and came to my feet. I waited patiently, vigilantly for him to say something. He uneasily ran his hand through his hair and stuck both hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry, Bre, I just…I don’t know what I was thinking,” he apologized. I knew there was more he wanted to say. He was just searching for the right words. “It’s just so hard being around you, and seeing you look so beautiful…it hurts.”
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t planning on this.
He continued, “Just please tell me it’s not Josh.”
If only he knew the truth. I told him, “No it’s not Josh.”
That seemed to ease him a little, but not entirely.
He looked down at his watch. “C’mon we better get going. It’s already seven-ten.”
I grabbed what I needed from inside that house and locked it up. Austin waited by the car. When I got to the car, his back was turned away from me, his arms folded in front of him.
“I’m ready,” I announced, unlocking the door and getting in.
I turned on the car and fastened my seatbelt before he even opened the door. As he got in, I stuffed the journal under my seat where it couldn’t be seen. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t lose it this time.
Neither of us spoke the entire way to Jessie’s house, which for me was probably for the best. I don’t think either of us felt like talking. We picked up the boys, who were noticeably more hyper than usual. There was no doubt that I was going to regret this night for a long time.
“Now listen,” I commanded. The boys stopped talking for a second, a couple of giggles escaping from behind me. “No alcohol, no drugs, no smoking, no girls.” I snapped my head back to them to make absolutely sure they were listening to me. They sat up straight. I glared and turned around to face the street again. “And no fights. Don’t act stupid and you won’t get picked on.”
“Aww, no fighting? Darn!” Caleb whined, and then busted up laughing. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw him elbow Jessie. They both had mischievousness written all over their faces. Great, I thought. This was going to be a fun night. Ugh! I definitely wasn’t looking forward to tonight.
“I mean it, Caleb. One wrong move on your part and…”
He smirked, cutting me off, “Bre, don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
I clenched me teeth, holding back what I really wanted to say to him. Beside me, Austin was covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to laugh out loud.
“Austin?”
“What?” he coughed out a chuckle.
“This isn’t funny!” I said indignantly.
“C’mon, Bre, they’re not gonna do anything stupid, right guys?”
“Right…uh-huh…yeah, sure, nothing stupid,” the boys said from behind me.
“See,” Austin added.
I shook my head having a bad feeling about this whole thing. I was thinking about all of Josh’s stupid friends and how they looked for small innocent boys like Caleb and Jessie to pick on, just to make themselves feel good. This made me very uncomfortable. Josh was up to something, but I didn’t know what.
“Just please behave tonight,” I asked one more time.
“Yes, Mom.” Caleb smirked again, like a cat who had eaten a mouse.
I let it go after that.
We rolled up to the house. It was a bigger party than I had imagined. Cars lined the street and you could hear the music a block away.
“Looks like the whole school’s here,” Austin observed.
“Yes!” Caleb cheered.
“Bring on the girls!” Jessie chimed in.
I rolled my eyes, but stayed silent. After parking, and before I even had my door open, Caleb and Jessie were already gone.
“Wow, that didn’t take them long,” I muttered.
“Yeah.” Austin got out of the car.
“Hey.” I walked quickly over to him. We couldn’t begin this evening without talking about what had happened at the house. Hesitantly, I started, “Listen, about tonight at the house…”
He half-smiled, looking away from me. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“Austin?” I started to ask.
“What?”
“I know what you’re going to do. You’re going to just act like nothing’s wrong and move on, but I’m not letting you, not this time.”
He looked up to the sky and took a breath. “It was stupid and dumb and I shouldn’t have done it.”
“I just want to make sure we’re okay.” I asked.
“Yep, we’re fine. Don’t worry. This isn’t gonna change anything. It was just an embarrassing moment, but it’s over and now we have a party to get to.” Music was blasting from the house. I could almost feel the bass on the ground. “I just…” he started to say but stopped.
“What?” I asked.
He looked at me. I could tell he was debating, wrestling with the thought of whether or not to tell me. “When you said that you loved me…I guess, I reacted. That’s all.”
“I said I loved you?” I sifted through everything I’d said to him earlier. It was all a blur, then it came back to me. “Oh, I said that I loved you for that…Austin.” I answered. He had to know the difference. It wasn’t the same.
He inhaled deeply and spoke softly, “I know what you said. I just wanted to hear it so badly that I made myself believe it for one stupid split second.”
The house was packed with people crammed into every available space. Though it was cold outside, the inside was stuffy and uncomfortable. People were sitting on top of furniture and dancing on tables. It was chaotic. Trying to negotiate our way through the maze of bodies was nearly impossible. I tried to find Caleb in the crowd, but it was pointless. This was supposed to be fun?
Talking to Austin was futile. I couldn’t hear him above the blaring music exploding from floor to ceiling. This was going to be a long, loud, excruciating night. It was the last place I wanted to be. The more I was around these inconsiderate, ‘let’s - get - plastered - and - look - like - idiots’ crowd of people, the more I hated Josh for inviting Caleb and forcing me to come.
It took us some time, but Austin and I finally made it to the back deck without anyone spilling alcohol all over us. There were a couple of close-calls, but I managed to jump back in time to see a ridiculously intoxicated person ram into someone else.
“That was interesting, huh?” Austin exhaled.
“You can say that again!” I exclaimed.
“Man, it was really hot in there. But it feels good out here, nice and cool,” Austin said, wiping his forehead.
I couldn’t agree with him on that one. It was freezing outside. I folded my arms together, rubbing them to help myself keep warm, and looked again for Caleb, hoping he was out here. Sure enough, I spotted him and Jessie by themselves, huddled under a tree. I smiled, relieved.
“Are you cold?” Austin noticed, taking his jacket off and wrapping it around my shoulders. He didn’t back away. As he held both sides of the jacket firmly, he had that look in his eyes again, pulling at my h
eartstrings, stirring confusion.
“Umm, thanks,” I muttered, stepping back and pulling my arms through the sleeves, making him release his grip.
“You’re welcome.”
I looked back at him. “But won’t you be cold?”
“Nah, I’m fine.” He smiled. He took a step forward and reached his hand up to my face. I thought I had made myself perfectly clear that we were only friends. Then, right as I thought he was going to initiate another uncomfortable situation, he pulled my hair out of the jacket.
“Oh thank you,” I sighed in relief. At least, I thought it was relief. I hated the brief disappointment that passed over me when he was no longer touching me.
“Bre!” Josh said from behind me.
I closed my eyes. I had hoped to avoid him, but that was only wishful thinking. Josh would find me.
I turned and saw him, Trevor, and Megan walking up to us. Trevor’s grim expression said it all, not taking his eyes off of Austin. If there was one thing about Trevor, he never let anything go. If you crossed him once, you were an enemy for life. Austin stiffened in defense. He was only here because I asked him to come, and I knew this was difficult for him. Regardless, I needed him with me and was grateful for his presence.
Megan, on the other hand, wasn’t looking at Austin. She was too focused on her target - me. If eyes could kill, I would’ve been dead a hundred times over.
“Yep, here we are,” I replied.
“You look as gorgeous as ever,” Josh splashed a comment my way. My eyes flashed to Megan in shock at what Josh said in front of her. Her eyes narrowed and her nose was slightly bent out of shape by his words.
I didn’t respond to his compliment.
“Megan, you look beautiful tonight,” I said smiling, hoping she’d back off a little. I wanted Josh to get the hint and acknowledge how great she looked to help diffuse her hostility, but I didn’t hold my breath. She really did look stunning. I couldn’t understand why she was so intimidated by me. In my mind, she was better looking than I was. She was the perfect model-type, long legs and the perfect body. Guys would die to have her as their girlfriend. There wasn’t a single guy at our school that hadn’t crushed on her at some point.
She opened her mouth slightly. It was clear by her hostile posture that she didn’t want to acknowledge me at all. She muttered, “Thanks,” and stared me down like a cat ready to pounce on a mouse.
“What a party, huh?” Josh said. Megan folded her arms and looked into the crowd, trying to shield her face. She was embarrassed, hurt and jealous. I felt sorry for her.
“So, Bre,” Josh asked, “wanna get a drink?”
“No. We’re just going to stay out here, thanks anyway.” I moved one step toward Austin.
“Aww, come on, just one drink,” Josh coaxed.
Austin didn’t say anything, but I knew Josh was getting to him.
“Maybe later,” I said, just to placate him.
“Alright then, later it is,” he said, over enthused.
“No, I said maybe later,” I corrected him, but it didn’t matter. He winked at me and with a slight jab to Austin’s arm, he chuckled, “See you later, sucka.” With that, they all turned and walked away, but not before Megan aimed another piercing look at me.
Once they were back inside, I turned to Austin.
“What was that?” he hissed. “What the hell does ‘maybe later’ mean?”
“Austin?” I whispered.
“I thought you didn’t like him,” his volume increased.
“Please calm down. There’s nothing going on. He was just being himself – a jerk and insistent. I only wanted to appease him for the moment so he’d just leave us alone,” I explained.
“Well, if that’s the case, you sounded very convincing.”
“I swear, I only told him that so he’d go away.”
“Right…” He shook his head. “You told him that so he’d go away?” repeating what I had already said, not believing a word of it.
“Yes,” I snapped.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t believe me?” I gasped. “I can’t believe you right now. I can’t believe you think I would lie to you!” I closed my mouth and breathed heavy through my nose.
“Just admit it and stop trying to spare my feelings, okay? Just get it over with,” his voice was strained.
“But I can’t, because it’s not the truth,” I said, as I began to feel my blood pressure rising.
“Dammit, Bre!” He turned away in frustration, running both hands through his hair.
“Why are you acting like this?” I demanded.
“Because I’m in love with you, and it’s making me crazy that you don’t love me back,” he blurted out, flipping around grabbing both of my arms.
I felt his hands go weak and melt slowly down the length of my arms before dropping to his sides. He just stood there waiting for me to say something. Or maybe he was in shock at exposing his emotions like that. Whatever the case, I was frozen, not knowing what to say.
Just then, I noticed something to the right of Austin’s shoulder and my eyes drifted. Eve was a few people away, staring at me intensely. I felt unnerved knowing that whenever we locked eyes, something was about to happen.
“Oh no,” I gasped in a whispered voice.
“What?” Austin asked.
“I have to go.” I started running in the direction that Josh had gone, toward the left side of the house.
It didn’t take me long to find him, since he was talking about getting a drink.
“Josh, we need to talk.” I blurted out.
“Hey, Bre, so you wanted a drink after all!” Josh’s boastfulness was always a little hard to handle.
“No, I need to talk to you now.” I glanced at Megan and Trevor. “Alone.”
“Sure thing, babe.” He sauntered away from his little “pack.”
The babe comment made me cringe, but I led him to the driveway were no one was around.
“I’m really glad you came tonight,” he started to say.
“Don’t read into this. There’s something that I need to ask you, and it’s really important. So focus,” My intense eyes looked at him, hoping he would understand my urgency.
“Oh, I’ll focus alright. Focus on how hot you look tonight!” He reached up to touch my arm, but I pushed his hand away.
“Josh, please,” I begged, “Just listen to me.”
He stopped, and his face went flat.
“I need to ask you some questions, but you can’t ask what they mean, okay?”
Hesitantly, he responded, “What is it?”
“First, do you have a game or anything coming up involving the football team?”
Furrowing his eyebrows together, he slowly answered, “Yeah, we have a game in the next few days.”
“Who are you playing?”
“Bre?”
I cut him off. “Who are you playing, Josh?”
“Medford High,” he answered.
Medford High? I thought. That doesn’t start with a U, O or D? I shook my head.
“Is there another game coming up?”
“Yes, on Friday, but what’s this all about? Why are you interrogating me like this?”
“What team?”
“Look, I’m not telling until you tell me what this is all about.” he said, folding his arms.
“Josh, please, I need this information. I can’t tell you why.”
He just stood there.
“Look…” My eyes shifted away from Josh when I saw Eve creeping along the far side of the house, watching us.
Josh followed my gaze, frowned at her, and then returned his attention to me. “Just tell me.”
I looked to him only for a brief moment, but then gazed back to Eve, she was gone.
“Josh, I just need you to do me a favor. Be careful. Stay away from Eve, and please, just stay away from water, okay?”
“Bre, you’re starting to worry me.”
“I’m
not crazy, I promise. I can’t explain. Just…please trust me.”
“What’s wrong with Eve?” he asked.
“I can’t tell you,” I said.
He stood up straighter. “Then, I guess I can’t promise anything.”
“Josh, we’re not five years old.” Why was he being so difficult?
“That’s right, we’re not,” he responded belligerently.
Austin was coming up quickly behind Josh, so I had to make this fast.
“Just listen to me and you’ll be fine,” I forcefully repeated.
Austin gave me a sharp glare as he passed, and I ran after him, leaving Josh behind wondering what that whole incident was all about.
“Austin,” I cried out, but he kept going. “Austin,” I yelled again.
I ran in front of him so he would stop.
“Where are you going?” It hurt to see that he couldn’t look at me in the eye.
“I’m leaving.”
“You can’t leave,” I ordered.
“Watch me!” He dodged me and stalked away.
I ran after him. “Wait! I didn’t leave because of what you said.”
He stopped and spun around. “No, you left and went back to him.” He pointed to where Josh and I were a few moments ago.
“No, you don’t understand,” I pleaded.
“I am so sick of hearing that!” he bellowed.
“Hearing what?”
“That I don’t understand, like I’m a child. You can’t seem to get that out of your head.” He bent down to my level and looked right into my eyes. “I’m not that little kid anymore.”
“I know you’re not.” I said with clarity.
“Then stop treating me like I am,” he demanded.
“Look. Something happened,” I started to say.
“I knew it,” he threw up his hands in exasperation, “I knew it!”
“No, please let me finish,” I pleaded.
I grabbed his arm, but he thrust my grip away and it caused me to lose my balance. Before I knew it, I was on the ground. Luckily, I landed on my hands and knees. I looked to Austin, thinking he would help me up, but he just stood there frozen. His eyes were wide with horror, like he’d just witnessed a murder or something. But his gaze wasn’t aimed at me. I followed his eyes and my heart dropped. There dangling from my neck was the necklace Collin had bought for me.
Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1) Page 38