Abandon

by Rachel Van Dyken

  “What do you mean…what?” I elbowed him. “Like Ty should be telling anyone to stay off drugs—”

  “He’s clean,” Drew interrupted. “For the record, we all are. We take weekly drug tests. Not that it’s any of your business.”

  I looked away.

  “It’s okay,” Zane said softly. “You haven’t been around much. People change. They do this thing called adulting. Don’t ask me the actual definition though, because I’m still on the struggle bus. Thankfully, I have a gorgeous glasses-wearing girl to go home to, and she helps me with the big words and makes sure I know how to fix the dishwasher.”

  “Broke again?” Drew snickered.

  “F. U.” Zane censored himself as a kid ran by us. “I’m going to win.”

  Drew nodded to me. “Now that he’s domesticated, he thinks he can fix everything. Just don’t trigger him and ask about the garage.”

  “Zane?” I turned to him. “You wanna tell me something?”

  “Yeah.” He glared over my head at Drew. “Drew’s sad because he’s single and he hasn’t slept with anyone in two years. Damn.” He put his hand on his torso. “Feels so good to get that off my chest.”

  “Hey, question.” Drew raised his hand. “Weren’t you a virgin for like twenty-two years?”

  “Break it up.” Alec’s voice interrupted us. “We’re about ready to get started. Just remember, you’re here to inspire, take selfies, teach the kids how to play guitar, and that’s it. And now we owe them a kick-ass opening concert!”

  “Yayyyy…” Drew said in a sing-song voice. “By the way, I’m so glad most of us get to leave after a few weeks. How long you staying?”

  “Me?” He was asking me. I wanted to lie, but I’d packed up enough clothes to stay longer than a month or two, and I’d already looked at property because maybe all the celebs in the area had a point. They all had a house here to get away from everything.

  At least Ty wasn’t staying.

  Maybe I truly would be getting away from everything.

  But why did that make me sad?

  “Up you go.” Alec helped me to my feet. “You’re on background vocals and bass, that all right?”

  “As long as I’m far, far, away from Ty,” I grumbled.

  “That’s the stage.” Alec pointed to a small stage near the front of the white tents where the kids were already cheering and pulling out their blankets.

  I would be close enough to Ty to hear his breathing when the music wasn’t playing. Part of me would do a dance on his corpse if he stopped taking in those breaths.

  The other part?

  It would die right along with him.

  Why was love so difficult?

  Chapter Four

  Ty

  It was going to be a long day.

  Avoiding her would be impossible, and I was turning into the exact kind of creeper every woman who dumped me always said I would be. I guess, not really a creeper.

  I was just watching her play guitar.

  Watching her hands move.

  Remembering the days we used to write music together and lay out in the sun, our guitars between us, holding hands.

  Son of a bitch. Minutes in her presence and I was already traveling down memory lane.

  I hated that lane.

  Blew it up ten years ago and put a giant Do Not Enter sign in front of it.

  Nothing good ever came from regretting something you couldn’t change, and there wasn’t anything I could change about what had happened.

  The intro stopped as Alec put his hands in the air to hush the excited kids, all of them were so…happy.

  I frowned.

  Music used to make me feel that way.

  It still did.

  But it’d lost a lot of its spark the minute my muse walked out of my life.

  I refused to tell her that it had made me spiral. That she’d had that much control over my life, over me.

  “Hey, everyone! I’m Alec Daniels, and this, as you all know, is my brother, Demetri. We’ll be in charge of the music summer program this year and can’t wait to help you guys with your music!”

  Cheers ensued.

  I shot a glare to Abby about the same time she flipped me off behind her back.

  Old habits.

  Perfect.

  Drew gave me a cut-it-out look from his spot on the right. He was the only bandmate that could keep me in line since Will was apparently pregnant, and Trevor was being a father to his kids.

  Grumble, grumble, grumble. That’s what I felt like.

  Zane joined everyone on stage—this time clothed, thank God—and grabbed a mic from Demetri. “And you guys know me, the ever-amazing Zane ‘Saint’ Andrews.”

  Screams this time.

  Of course, he’d just graced the cover of People.

  Bastard was good-looking, I’d give him that.

  “We’re really happy to be here. We have some incredible musicians flying in over the next two months, and a few surprises up our sleeves. Don’t forget that open mic night is every Wednesday, and that every time you perform, you’re entered to win backstage passes for our next tour starting this winter. Everyone you see here on this stage will be touring and performing, so it’s going to be a great show—”

  My mind went blank.

  I stared.

  And stared harder.

  Gaped over at Drew, who was looking anywhere but at me while the guys all high-fived each other up front.

  And then my gaze moved to Abby, who had gone completely ashen as if someone had forgotten to tell both of us.

  My mind reeled. She did just finish her last album…

  We were doing a second tour of our latest release since we had so many sold-out venues.

  AD2 was always supposed to come with Zane and us.

  What. The. Hell?

  I stood, my drumsticks hanging by my sides, and fucking walked off that stage like a petulant child. Because my bandmates were supposed to be my family.

  And family didn’t do that.

  Not when they knew your past.

  Not when they knew how long it’d taken you to get over the shit you went through.

  “Ty!” Drew’s voice.

  “What?” I didn’t turn around, just kept walking. At least the rain had stopped.

  And just like that, my universe shook, and rain started to pour.

  I looked up at the sky. “Really? Really?”

  “Hold up.” Drew grabbed my shoulder. “I was waiting to tell you. We all were.”

  “Waiting to tell me that the spawn of Satan would be touring with us for three months? When would be a good time?”

  Drew’s face hardened. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe before you made us look like complete dicks at the Grammys. No, no, that would have been too difficult since you were busy screwing two girls at the same time while eyeing the groupies. Hmmm, I could have done it after that when you packed your shit and moved to Seaside without saying anything to us and making us think you were dead, only to call us a week later and threaten to quit the band. No, that wouldn’t have been good either because everyone’s so terrified of setting you off and sending you—” He gulped. “I know how it is. You know I do. But it’s like walking on eggshells around you lately. And you can blame Abby all you want, but this is on you. You aren’t happy, and you haven’t been happy for a while. You screw anything that walks, refuse to take any of this seriously, and act like you’re still twenty-one!”

  “I’m not that old!” I said defensively.

  “Stop fixating on the shit that doesn’t matter. She’s good for ticket sales—not that we need it. And we’re at the same record company, all right? It made sense. We voted, and since you screwed up, you didn’t get a vote. I’m sorry you’re going through shit.” He kicked the sand. “But grow the hell up, all right?”

  “This coming from the guy that refuses to even talk about anything personal,” I snapped.

  He ground his teeth. “It’s different.”

  “S
ays the one I used to get high with,” I snapped. “Yeah, sure, it’s totally different. Scars may look different, but they feel the same.”

  He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Look, we’ll compromise, okay? How about I talk to the guys, and you stay and teach in Trevor’s studio, so you don’t have to see her every day?”

  My ears perked up. “Wait, you would do that?”

  “On one condition.” I didn’t like the way he grinned at me. “You have to promise me that if I can convince them to let you bow out for the summer and teach at the studio, that you compose three new songs.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I can do that in my sleep.”

  “I wasn’t finished.”

  Shit.

  “Three new songs. And you have to spend at least one night a week with Abby.”

  “You want me to spend the night?” I choked. “In a bed?”

  “See, this is why you got mauled at the Grammys. No, you dick, I want you to spend a night, a few hours, trying to fix things so it’s not a shit show when we all go on tour.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, then did the math. “Three hours tops.”

  “Fine.”

  “Good.” I snorted.

  “Fantastic.” He let out a grunt. “Now, get your ass back to the tent, paste a smile on that ugly face of yours, and play the set. When you’re done, I’ll talk to the guys and get a schedule from Trevor. He’s been stressed out over all the students he’s been getting this summer anyway, and a few of them are doing the summer camp along with private lessons. It would be good to have you there, helping.”

  The tightness in my chest dissipated a bit. “Yeah. Plus, I like Trevor more than I like you.”

  “Yeah.” He burst out laughing. “And I like his kids more than I like you. So I guess we’re even.”

  “I almost died tripping on a Lego this morning,” I grumbled as we both started walking back toward the tent.

  “My man, you have no idea how treacherous those damn things are. Last year, I hid them, and the twins got pissed and started putting them under my pillow whenever I stayed over. I swear those little bastards gave me nightmares. One time, I woke up and they’d put a minefield around the bed. I’ve prayed about a lot of weird shit. Legos disappearing should never be one of them.”

  I burst out laughing just as we reached the tent, and just as Abs looked in my direction. The hardness of her expression softened for an instant as her eyes zeroed in on my mouth, but the minute she saw me stare back at her, the anger returned.

  So I put my hard shell back on like a freaking ninja turtle and sat down at the drum set, telling myself all the reasons I had a right to be more hurt and angry than she did.

  By the time the set was done, I was exhausted.

  And ready to get the hell away from Abigail and every one of those tattoos on her neck that I used to trace with my tongue.

  Damn it.

  Chapter Five

  Abigail

  The kids were adorable. It was opening day, so we ended early, and I was so thankful that I wanted to cry a bit. I needed a shower. And space.

  Time away from him.

  I said goodbye to everyone and got in my Jeep rental. It was white and looked like it could hold its own in the deep, white sand.

  With a happy sigh, I started the engine and made my way over to The Seaside Shores condos, then hopped out.

  They were adorable and perfect beach-front property. The salty wind picked up and instantly relaxed me as I took a deep breath and opened the door to the main office.

  “Hi, can I help you?” The office manager looked like he was in high school. His eyes widened a bit when he saw me, and then like most people, he looked away and started rummaging.

  It was a thing. What did you do with your hands? Did you wave? Point and say, “I know who you are!”

  Meeting a celebrity was like sitting in a hot tub with a large group of people. If your hands were in your lap, you looked sketchy. If you let them float, people thought you were weird. And if you spread them wide, you were suddenly touching others and could send the wrong message.

  So, this was another hot-tub moment. I broke through with my own wave and said, “Hey. I’m Von Abiga—” I shook my head at my stage name. “I’m Abigail Von Leery, and I have a reservation.”

  The guy visibly paled.

  Crap, was I going to have another fainter?

  “Are you okay?” I asked in a whisper. “Do you need water or something?”

  “Please be in there. Please be in there,” he mumbled to himself as he clicked on a laptop. A bead of sweat trailed down the side of his face, and he pulled off his thick glasses and wiped his forehead then tapped away at the computer again.

  I waited patiently.

  He gave me a look of dread. “We don’t have you down.”

  “Huh? What do you mean? My manager should have called.”

  He gulped. “I don’t have your name here anywhere. Should I try your manager’s?”

  “Sure,” I said through gritted teeth. “It’s Will Sutherland.” I was going to kill Will. How could he forget?

  And then it hit me.

  I’d changed plans last minute.

  He’d sworn he’d taken care of it.

  But he was going to be a new dad.

  He was stressed and managing people while still performing with Adrenaline.

  I knew before the guy shot me another apologetic glance that I was screwed.

  I offered him a small smile. “That’s okay. Do you have any rooms available?”

  “It’s summer.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “We don’t have any vacancies, especially now that we have that amazing summer camp going on for the next few months. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you other than I hope you have friends who live here or someone who can pull some strings. We were one of the only hotels to have any vacancies, but some guy this morning took our last room.” He looked behind me. “Oh, there he is! Hey, Ty. So cool of you to get me tickets to—” He stopped talking.

  Probably because I looked as if I were about to murder him, along with Ty.

  Of course, Ty Cuban would take the last available room.

  “Thought you were staying with Trevor?” I said through clenched teeth.

  Ty actually looked shocked. His jaw dropped, but he recovered quickly. “Yeah, well, you try sleeping one night with three kids all under the age of seven running around screaming at all hours of the day. Let me know how that works out for you. Plus, they’re like this…” He swore. “It’s kind of shitty staying with the perfect family when you have none.”

  His confession shocked me to my core.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  Couldn’t think.

  He had the band.

  He’d had me.

  And that was it.

  His parents had died when he was young. His aunt had taken him in, but she didn’t want kids—ever. Which she’d told him repeatedly until he started making enough money playing gigs at local coffee shops to help out.

  And when he hit it big…

  Well, that’s when her love grew.

  He still supported her out of love for the parents he couldn’t even remember.

  A flicker of respect grew as I was once again reminded how hard he’d had it. And how easy I’d had it compared to him.

  I exhaled slowly and met his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” he snapped. “I’m clearly doing just fine without your sorries.” He looked back at the guy. “See ya later, Daniel.”

  “Bye, Ty!”

  Oh, for shit’s sake, the guy looked as if he’d shine Ty’s shoes if he asked.

  “Wait!”

  I was going to regret this.

  This was a bad idea.

  And yet, I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. “There was a mistake with my reservation.”

  Ty didn’t turn around, he just froze as if I’d shocked him. “No.”

  “Ty, please. You wo
n’t even know I’m there. Let me just stay there for tonight. It’s late, and I have nowhere to go. Your buddy Daniel says there’s nothing open, and—” I started to panic as the crack of thunder filled the air.

  We all had our things.

  Storms were mine.

  Until Ty had taught me to fall in love with my fear, rather than let it control me.

  He had done that.

  I felt my eyes well with tears. “Never mind. I’ll sleep in my car if I have to.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Ty snapped and turned on his heel, making a beeline for me as if I needed to either get out of the way or prepare for a fight. He jerked the duffel bag out of my hand, then reached for my other suitcase. “One night. You speak to me, I’m locking you outside on the balcony.”

  “Are you serious? I can’t even talk?”

  “Not a word.”

  “But what if there’s a fire, and I need to yell ‘fire, fire,’ to save your life?”

  “Let me die,” he said simply. “Not a word. Swear?”

  I nodded.

  He tilted his head. “Already starting?”

  Another nod.

  “Fine. This all your shit?”

  I shook my head no. Already, I could see the regret crossing his features as he held out his hand. “Keys.”

  I slapped them into his waiting palm and felt a bit guilty as rain pelted his body, completely drenching him as he grabbed two more larger suitcases from the Jeep and rolled them inside the building.

  His white T-shirt was plastered against an insane core that literally defined every girl’s fantasy when they thought of a hot rock star.

  I could see some ink through the white cotton.

  Was that new?

  He cleared his throat.

  And, like an idiot, I realized I’d been staring at his body longer than necessary. He didn’t smile at me, though, or look as if he were ready to throw himself a parade because he caught me looking.

  If anything, he looked even more pissed off.

  I stuck out my tongue, earning an eyeball roll as he shoved past me with enough luggage to last for the next few months. I would never confess the reason for all my things, or admit the pain in my chest at watching the guy who I’d thought would be my forever touching the chaos that was my life, without even realizing I had been with a replacement the whole time.