The Guardian Trilogy

by Robin M Helm

  “Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, are you hungry? Would you like to stop for dessert?” Xander asked, looking in the rearview mirror. If we are late enough getting back, perhaps she will forget her questions for now.

  You risk angering her by putting her off, warned Michael.

  Elizabeth looked at him sharply. Does he think I will forget if he avoids being alone with me long enough? Surely he knows me better than that.

  Xander bit his lip. Michael was beginning to know her very well indeed.

  David spoke. “I don’t want anything. How about you, Lynne?”

  “All I want is to put on my pajamas and go to bed. Tonight was very exciting, and tomorrow is sure to be just as overwhelming. I’m exhausted,” Lynne replied.

  “Elizabeth?” asked Xander, glancing at her.

  “I’ve been looking forward to another training session all day, Xander. I hope you aren’t going to disappoint me by calling it off.” She met his eyes with a clear challenge in her look.

  No way out of that one, Xander, thought Niall.

  Xander reached for her hand, and she met him halfway. They rested their clasped hands on the console between them.

  “I would never willingly do anything to make you unhappy, Elizabeth. You know that.” His voice was gentle and sincere.

  “Training session? That’s what you two were doing last night just before we arrived, right?” asked David.

  “Yes, Dad. Xander is teaching me self-defense, and he’s a very good instructor. Did you know he’s something of a martial arts expert?” Elizabeth looked between the bucket seats at her father.

  “Really? I can’t say that I’m surprised. He seems to be a man of many talents and abilities. I have a feeling that we don’t know the half of the matter,” replied David with a smile.

  I would put that fraction a little higher, thought Niall.

  “I think that it’s an excellent idea, Xander. Is there any chance that we might be able to observe?” Lynne, her previous fatigue forgotten, was frankly curious about the young man. Each time she found out something else about him, she realized that there were many more sides to him than any of them had suspected.

  “I would not mind at all,” replied Xander. In fact, I would welcome you and Mr. Bennet.

  Elizabeth spoke quickly. “We just started last night, Mom. Could we give you a demonstration later in the week? All I know how to do right now are stances.”

  There is nothing slow about Elizabeth. I hope you are ready for this. Michael’s voice was not pleased. You should never have said that you already knew she was gifted with tongues. Now she wants to know how you knew.

  I am tired of hiding things from her, Michael. I love her, and I do not wish to have secrets from her. Xander was firm. A good relationship must be built on honesty and trust. I may not be looking forward to answering her questions, but I am confident that this is the correct course of action.

  You said you would wait until the summer is over before you tell her what you are, Gabriel reminded him. That was a good decision. If she becomes upset with you, it could negatively impact this ministry.

  Trust me? Please? I will be careful. I will not tell her everything now, but I will not avoid answering what she asks. An oppressive silence hung above the vehicle; Xander could feel the disapproval of his brothers, and it hurt him. Have I not proven that I have good judgment? What have I done to deserve your censure?

  Niall spoke quietly. You have always done what pleases our Master, Xander, and you have done nothing to give anyone just cause to doubt you.

  “I suppose we can rest tonight and watch you train when you are more comfortable with the idea, El,” answered Lynne.

  “Thanks, Mom,” Elizabeth replied, turning to smile at her mother between the seats. “How is Janna doing? I’ve been talking to her on the phone every few days, and she says she’s fine, but you know she always says that. Is she taking good care of herself and my nephew?”

  “I talked to her this morning, and she’s doing really well, though she misses seeing her feet. She said to tell you she’s sorry she wasn’t there to see you off Sunday,” said Lynne, launching into a favorite subject of hers, her daughter and her soon-to-be born grandson. “She and Chance are getting the nursery ready in boy colors. They haven’t picked out a name yet.”

  Lynne and Elizabeth kept the conversation going until Xander pulled up in front of the hotel. Mother and daughter got out and went inside to wait in the lobby while David rode with Xander to park the car. Niall, Michael, and two warriors stayed with the ladies.

  As the men walked back to the hotel entrance, trailed by Gabriel, Roark and two warriors, David looked over at Xander. “You know, trying to avoid whatever it is you don’t want to talk about won’t work with El.”

  Xander glanced at the older man in surprise, and then he looked down at the pavement. “It was that obvious?”

  David chuckled. “I know El like the back of my hand. She’s like a dog with a bone if you try to distract her. Just tell her what she wants to know and get it over with. It can’t be that bad, can it?”

  “That depends on your point of view, I suppose. I have not done anything wrong, and I do not wish to keep secrets from her; it is only that the timing is not good. There are things she does not know about my background, and I do not want to upset her during our work with SoulFire this summer.” Xander’s voice was low and strained.

  “Do you love her?” asked David.

  Xander looked at the man he hoped would be his father-in-law some day. “With all that I am.”

  “Then trust her. She may surprise you.”

  “She always does,” said Xander.

  David put his hand on Xander’s shoulder. “I’ll be praying for you.”

  Xander sighed. “I appreciate that.”

  The automatic doors opened, and the men walked through together. David patted Xander’s shoulder in a fatherly manner, and then dropped his hand to his side.

  Lynne stood in the lobby with Niall and the warriors. “Xander, El said to tell you that she’s gone upstairs to change clothes. She’ll be ready whenever you are.”

  “I must go then. It is rude to keep a lady waiting,” Xander replied, smiling. He squared his shoulders and headed for the elevator. Behind him, Lynne raised an eyebrow as she looked at David. He shrugged, and together they followed Xander.

  ~~oo~~

  Xander, dressed in his usual workout clothes, waited outside Elizabeth’s door. He hesitated for a moment, and then knocked. She opened the door quickly, as if she had been waiting for him.

  “My, my. So serious,” she said, pulling his head down for a quick kiss.

  Xander wanted more than a peck on the lips and placed his hands on either side of her face, holding her for a deeper kiss, trying to convey his love for her, hoping that she would still have the same feelings for him when an hour had passed. When he finished, he kept his face close to hers, touching her forehead with his.

  Please, Father, help her to understand. Help her to forgive me, he pleaded. I cannot bear to lose her now. Please lead my mind, guide my words, and put a guard upon my mouth.

  Michael and Gabriel knew better than to make any comments.

  She drew back a few inches and looked up into his face. “Are you ready to teach me some more?”

  “Are you ready to learn?” he asked.

  “Of course.”

  He took her hand and led her to the elevator. He pushed the button for the lobby, and then put his arms around her, clasping her to his chest. She heard the hammering of his heart through his tank top.

  Elizabeth pushed away from him just far enough to look up into his face. “Xander, this has gone on long enough. Just tell me how you knew I had the gift of tongues. That’s all I want to know. Surely the answer isn’t worth all this angst you’re suffering.”

  Xander swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and the doors of the elevator opened on the lobby floor.

  “Come. I do not wish to talk in this
public area.” He reached for her hand and led her down the hall to the same room they had used the previous night. Xander opened the door and held it for her without releasing her hand. After he had closed it, they went to the center of the room. She sat cross-legged on the floor, pulling him down to sit facing her. Michael and Gabriel stood against the wall, their expressions carefully neutral.

  “Okay. Just spit it out. Remember that I love you.” Her smile was encouraging.

  He looked into her eyes, begging her to understand.

  “Elizabeth, you already know that I am different from other people.”

  “Yes, you are exceptionally talented in music, have prayed and healed dying people through the power of the Holy Spirit, have the strength of at least five men, are extremely tall, have devastatingly good looks, and are the godliest man I know. You surprise me all the time with your hidden abilities – like your being a martial arts pro and speaking who knows how many languages. I know that you aren’t like everyone else. I know how that feels, too, Xander. I have always been different from the other people around me. Now I find that I am stranger than even I knew.”

  She took both of his large hands into hers and held them on her crossed legs.

  “If we are comparing abnormalities, we can stop now. I definitely win this category.” Xander attempted a smile. She waited, holding his eyes with hers so that he could not look away.

  “Elizabeth, no one else can know this.” She nodded her agreement. He took a deep breath and released it. “I can read the minds of nearly everyone around me. I have ‘heard’ people around you thinking in foreign languages, and I ‘heard’ you understand them in your mind. When you sing in other languages, everyone ‘hears’ you in their own tongue. Charlotte has thought of the incident at Converse around me. I know the Indian students understood you, and you understood them.” Xander spoke softly and watched her, his eyes riveted to her face, trying to gauge her response past her jumbled thoughts.

  Elizabeth was stunned speechless. I don’t know what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t this. She drew her eyebrows together and closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she tried to absorb what he had said. Images began to race through her mind, and thoughts flooded her consciousness. She had wished for Char to come, and the very next day she had arrived. There had been times that he had answered questions before she had asked them. He always seemed to know when she was afraid, or sad, or happy. He responded to situations so quickly, before anyone else even had time to think about what to do. She knew that he was telling the truth.

  She opened her eyes to find his gaze fixed intently on her.

  “Are you reading my mind now?” she asked.

  “I cannot help it, Elizabeth. I am not trying to do so. I would stop if I could.” His voice was gentle, pleading.

  No, you would not. Gabriel spoke softly. If you are going to tell her these things, be completely honest.

  You are right, thought Xander.

  “Would you really?” she demanded, eyes blazing. “Because I know that I would read your mind if I could.”

  “I suppose to be completely honest, I should say that I want to make you happy. If my ability makes you unhappy, I hope that I would want to stop. But, to tell the absolute truth, most of the time I am glad that I can hear your thoughts.”

  Elizabeth immediately heard the exception in his statement. “Most of the time?”

  He looked away, uncomfortable. “I have heard you admire Gregory’s looks, and I was jealous. Also, there have been a few times that you believed him instead of me.”

  She reached for his chin and turned his face back toward her. “That’s all?”

  “You met me on a plane in January. Apart from your amusement at my clumsy attempts at conversation on that flight, that is all you have thought since then that made me wish I could not hear you. Elizabeth, you have a kind, beautiful, godly mind. I hear so many terrible things in the minds of other people that it is a pleasure to listen to you.” His eyes were sincere. She dropped her hand back onto her legs, covering his hands.

  “You said that you can hear the minds of ‘nearly’ everyone around you. Who can’t you hear?” she asked.

  “I cannot hear Gregory, Cassandra, and a few others.”

  “Why not?” She was curious.

  “My answer will make you angry,” Xander said in a somber tone.

  “Just tell me. You’ll know if I’m angry.” Her voiced was edged with sarcasm, and he winced at her meaning.

  “My gift is from God. The farther away from God someone is, the harder it is for me to read their minds. When they are completely turned against God and given over to Satan with no hope of redemption, it is very difficult and sometimes impossible to ‘hear’ their thoughts.”

  He thinks Gregory and Cassandra are evil past any chance of salvation, she thought.

  “Yes, I do,” he answered.

  “Does Gregory have the same ability that you have? Can he read my mind?” she asked, a little frightened.

  “No, Elizabeth. God has not given Gregory that ability. He would abuse it.”

  “That’s probably true.” She was quiet a moment. “Can you hear me all the time?” Her mind was whirring again, thinking of her reactions to his kisses and his body. He could hear her trying to stop her thoughts.

  “My gift is limited by distance. If you are more than a few miles away, I cannot hear you.” Xander’s voice was low and quiet.

  “This is too much to process. You know what I think when we’re kissing, when I see you, when you touch me? You cannot imagine how I feel,” she said blushing, remembering her reaction to him the night before when she had first seen him in his workout clothes. “What about when I am sleeping?”

  “Most of that time I am sleeping, too. However, if I am awake and close by, I can ‘see’ your dreams. They are like your thoughts.” He looked at the floor. “I am sorry you are embarrassed. You do not understand the joy you give me.” He raised his face to hers and looked earnestly into her eyes. “To see myself in your mind and to know that you love me – it humbles me. I try to deserve your love, and it makes me a better man.”

  “You know, Xander, all of that’s easy for you to say. I can’t read your mind. I can never hide anything from you, but you can choose to tell me what you wish for me to know.” She frowned.

  “If I could give you that gift, I would. I have never lied to you, though I have not said everything I was thinking from time to time. If you will allow me, I will point out one advantage to my ‘freak’ gift,” he said, looking at her with a small smile.

  “Please do. I could use a little cheering up about now.” She lifted her chin and tilted her head, still unsmiling.

  “From now on, since you know that I can ‘hear’ you, if there is something you want to tell me that you do not want others to hear, you can just think it. You now know that you do not have to wait for privacy. I will find a way to respond to you.” He smiled at her again, more broadly.

  She considered his words. “That’s true.” Her expression became mischievous as she said, “I don’t even have to ever say ‘I love you’ again or call your name. I can just think it.”

  Xander offered a silent prayer of thanksgiving. Thank you, Lord. She has accepted it, though she did not like it.

  He took her hands in his and stood, pulling her up with him. “No, love. That will not do. Hearing you think those words is wonderful, but nothing compares to hearing you say them aloud.”

  “You are fond of telling me that I have to give something to get what I want. Now the situation is reversed. If you want to hear me say certain things, you will have to promise to tell me what you are thinking,” she said adamantly. “After all, I can’t read your mind. Fair is fair.”

  “Be reasonable, Elizabeth. I cannot tell you everything I am thinking. I would be talking nonstop, and most of what I would say would be very banal. I will promise to tell you what I am thinking when it concerns you, and if we are in private. Furthermore, I will tell
you what I am thinking whenever you ask me. I cannot do more than that without causing extreme embarrassment to both of us as well as to those around us. Agreed?” His smile reached his eyes.

  “I suppose so,” she said grudgingly. “You know, we are sort of perfect for each other. We’re both freaks.”

  Xander laughed aloud. “I love the way your mind works. Now let us begin to train your body to be just as agile.” He kissed her nose, becoming playful. His face grew somber again as another thought passed through his mind. I have not finished, have I, Father? Please help me.

  “There is one more thing about my ability,” he said, wishing that he did not have to tell her, but knowing that if he did not, she would throw it back at him later.

  “There’s more?” She was incredulous.

  “Yes. Remember when I said that I would find a way to respond to you if you ‘thought’ something to me?” Xander asked, holding both of her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes.

  “Yes. I’m guessing this has to do with the way you would respond. Am I right?” she asked, her eyes wide.

  “You are correct, as usual. Elizabeth, not only can I hear what you are thinking, but I can speak into your mind, and you can hear me.” He waited for the inevitable question.

  After a short silence, she asked, “Have you ever done that before?”

  “Yes. I have spoken comfort and peace to you at times when you were upset. I also tried to get you not to get into the car with Gregory that day you rode with him.” He knew what she would say next.

  “You weren’t there that day. How do you know about that?” Her face betrayed her suspicion. “Have you been watching me?”

  “Sometimes I miss you, and I watch you from places where you cannot see me. I worry about you, too, and I want to know that you are well. I guess that makes me a crazed stalker.” He lowered his head. When the silence became oppressive, he looked at her from under his lashes. “Elizabeth, please say something.