When August Ends

by Penelope Ward

  He closed his eyes and spoke under his breath. “Fuck.”

  It occurred to me all of a sudden that the sound was him…masturbating. I’d been obsessed with the idea that he was having sex with Kira. And now I’d just admitted that I’d listened intently while he jerked off in the shower. Great. This morning just kept getting better and better.

  “I assumed she was in there with you. I’m sorry. There’s no excuse. I guess old habits die hard. I feel like such an idiot.”

  Noah looked at me for the longest time.

  I expected him to scold me, but he didn’t.

  “Tell you what…how about you stop beating yourself up about this, and we pretend it never happened?”

  “You’re gonna let me off that easy? No ridicule? No scolding about how it’s none of my damn business?”

  “Well, that’s true. But you’ve got a lot on your plate. I’m not gonna add to it. Let’s just forget about it.”

  I blew out a sigh of relief. “That sounds really good to me.”

  Noah nodded and kept staring at me in silence. I felt like I needed to leave while I was ahead.

  Pointing behind me toward the door, I said, “I’d better go. I have an appointment with the realtor this morning.”

  He nodded. “Good. Keep me posted.”

  “I will.”

  When I was almost out the door, he called to me.

  “Hey.”

  I turned around. “Yeah?”

  Noah stepped forward until he was right in front of me. My pulse quickened, and to my shock, he placed his hand on my cheek. It was the first time he’d ever touched me like this, and my nipples stood at attention as I closed my eyes and savored every second.

  What’s happening?

  “I told you I wasn’t interested in her,” he finally said.

  Too flustered to speak, I simply nodded. He slid his hand down my face, and his fingers grazed my neck.

  And that was the end of it.

  He walked over to his coffee and sipped it as if he hadn’t just rocked my world.

  I somehow made it out the door and floated all the way home, unsure what to think.

  ***

  Later that day, on my way home from the realtor’s office, I was still thinking about the way Noah’s hand felt on my face, about his need to assure me he wasn’t interested in Kira. It felt different than just a simple admission for some reason. My body tingled at the memory of his touch and his words.

  Now that I’d spoken to the real estate agent, I felt more confident about putting the house on the market. The next step was to break the news to my mother that this sale was happening. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to tackle the Vermont conversation yet, so I decided to play it by ear.

  Mom was in her room when I got home.

  I sat at the corner of the bed and squeezed her feet through the floral bedspread. The shades were down, and it was dark.

  She sat up against the headboard. “How did it go?”

  “She says she thinks we should list it soon. The middle of the summer season will be the best time to show it because of the weather. She also thinks we should list it for between 800 and 900 grand.”

  My mother blinked a few times as she processed the information. “That’s more than I thought.”

  “I know. Me, too. But she seems confident we can get close to asking.”

  “It all sounds too good to be true.”

  “You mean the listing price?”

  “What aren’t you telling me, Heather? You’ve been acting strange. Does it have to do with Noah?”

  “No. Nothing has changed with Noah.”

  Except for the fact that he touched my face and made me forget my own name for half the day.

  “But there is something…” she said.

  I sighed. “Yes.”

  “What is it?”

  It was now or never. I needed to tell her.

  “So, um…remember I was telling you about the nursing program at the University of Vermont, and we talked about how nice Burlington is and all that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, some time ago, I decided to bite the bullet and apply.” I hesitated. “I got in. It’s for the spring semester, though. So it wouldn’t be right away.”

  She clutched her chest as if that news physically pained her.

  “Are you alright?” I asked.

  “I knew this was coming. I just…”

  “I hope you know how hard this is for me. I promise not to go unless you’re settled. You won’t be alone. I will make sure of it. I’ve been talking to Aunt Katy…”

  “Katy? You’re gonna pawn me off on my flighty sister?”

  “Katy may be flighty, but she loves you. She seems willing to move out here. She can do her art from anywhere. She said she wants to do this for me. It’s a sacrifice for her, but she’s willing to do it, and I’m extremely grateful. You have to be open to it.”

  My mother’s sister, Katy, had been going through a messy divorce for the past few years. Now that everything was finally settled, she had the option to move. Katy was an oil painter who sold her work to small galleries across New England.

  “I can live on my own,” my mother said.

  “We’ve already had this discussion. It’s not that I don’t think you could live on your own most days, but you need to be around people. You need to have someone looking out for you even on days when you don’t need it. And there’s no way I would leave you alone, because some days you do need it, so there’s that.”

  “I can’t stop you from going. I know that. I’ve kept you here long enough.”

  My eyes began to water. “It’s really hard for me to think about leaving.”

  She reached her hand out to me. “I know. You’re a good girl…my angel.”

  “We still have plenty of time. And thanks to Noah, it’s looking like we might actually be able to sell this place. So everything is going according to plan.”

  We were quiet for a bit. Then she said, “Noah really has turned out to be a godsend, hasn’t he?”

  “I’m glad you’ve learned to trust him, Mom.”

  “I might trust him, but I still think he has feelings for you.”

  “I’m not sure what you’re basing that on.”

  Actually, today was the first day I’d thought she could be right. But I wasn’t a hundred-percent convinced I wasn’t reading into things too much. He’d touched my cheek, not my clit, for heaven’s sake. Maybe he’d just seen that I was upset with myself and was trying to make me feel better. Still, my gut told me there was something to the electricity I felt when he touched me, even if it was just my face.

  “You do know you two have been gardening right outside my bedroom window, right? I’ve listened to your conversations. He genuinely likes you.”

  “He likes me, yes, but not in that way. He likes me like a little sister.”

  “No way I’m buying that, Heather. He might have chosen not to act on it, and in many ways, I commend him for that. But he most definitely has feelings for you.”

  What was wrong with me that hearing her say that gave me goosebumps? Am I delusional? Was this entire day one big hallucination? Even if Noah were developing feelings for me and somehow made it known today, he was leaving, and now so was I.

  Besides, I still didn’t think Noah would ever cross that line.

  “You know…he’s divorced,” I said.

  “Really? Some stupid woman let that man go?”

  “I know, right?” I chuckled. “He takes a lot of the blame for their marriage ending. He said he put his career first a lot in his twenties and neglected their relationship. He recognizes his mistakes, though, and I have a feeling the lucky woman who nabs him next is going to reap the benefits of that.”

  ***

  That evening at Jack Foley’s Pub, I was busy obsessing over Noah when an old, familiar face turned up in my section.

  He seemed happy to see me. “Heather?”

  It was a guy I’d gone to h
igh school with, one I hadn’t seen in a few years. He was one year ahead of me.

  “Oh my God…Jared!” I hugged him.

  Jared Mackenzie had always been smart, and everyone was super impressed when he’d gotten into Harvard.

  “It’s so good to see you,” he said.

  “You, too. You don’t usually come home for the summer, do you? I haven’t seen you since you graduated.”

  He frowned. “My father is sick, so I’m not working the usual summer job I keep in Cambridge.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Yeah, lung cancer.”

  My stomach dropped. “That’s tough. I’m really sorry.”

  That reminded me things could always be worse. My mother was severely depressed, but at least she was physically healthy.

  “It’s been a rough summer, but running into you tonight is a nice surprise.”

  “Likewise.” I smiled. “So, what’s it like to be almost finished with school? One more year, right?”

  “Yeah. It’s surreal how fast time flies. I hope to stay in Boston for grad school. So, it’ll be a while before I have to face the real world and find a job.”

  “What’s your major again?”

  “Neuroscience. I’d like to become a medical researcher.”

  “Right. I remember it being something easy.” I winked and caught myself twirling my hair, which I often did when I was feeling flirtatious.

  Jared laughed. “Listen, I’ve pretty much been sitting by my dad’s bedside every day, and at night I just need a breather. I haven’t wanted to hang out with the people from school or go drinking. But I would love to go somewhere and talk—have a good conversation and a good meal. Would you want to hang out sometime?”

  I was surprised, but I couldn’t find one reason to say no. “That would be great.”

  “Can I admit something?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “When I heard you and Eric broke up, I might have done a little fist pump.”

  I covered my mouth. “Really?”

  “I also might have had a pretty intense crush on you in high school, but you were always taken.”

  My heart fluttered. “I would’ve never known that. You were always so busy playing lacrosse or with your nose buried in books. I never sensed anything.”

  “You didn’t have me pegged as a nerd, did you?”

  “No. Just the opposite. I think intelligence is amazingly sexy.”

  Pipe down.

  After I took his order, we exchanged numbers. Maybe a date with Jared would be exactly what I needed. He’d be going back to Cambridge, so there wouldn’t be any obligation to continue things beyond the summer. And Lord knows, I needed a distraction from Noah. It would do me good to redirect my focus toward someone else.

  CHAPTER TEN

  * * *

  NOAH

  Later that week, I was working outside Heather’s house when a man I didn’t recognize approached me. He was probably in his early fifties. My guard immediately went up.

  “Can I help you?” I asked.

  “I’m here to see my daughter. Who are you?”

  This is Heather’s father?

  “I’m Noah Cavallari. I’ve been renting the boathouse.”

  He held out his hand. “Rick Chadwick.”

  I wiped the dirt off my palms and shook his hand. “Good to meet you.”

  Rick was stocky and wearing an oversized, brown Members Only-type jacket. If I weren’t a big guy myself, I might have been intimidated by the way he was looking at me.

  At that moment, Heather opened the door. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Hi, darling.”

  She looked between us. “I see you’ve met Noah.”

  “Briefly, yes.”

  Heather turned to me. “My father is in town for a couple of days.”

  I remembered she’d said her dad did a yearly visit.

  It would’ve been nice if she’d given me some warning.

  “Would you want to join us for dinner tonight, Noah?”

  What am I supposed to say? “I don’t want to intrude.”

  Rick intervened. “No intrusion at all. I’d prefer to get to know the man spending so much time on the property.”

  Great.

  “See you at seven,” Heather said before disappearing inside the house with him.

  Had I missed the part where I’d said yes?

  As I continued to work outside, my phone vibrated.

  Heather: I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about him coming. I didn’t know until this morning. He wasn’t supposed to visit until the fall. He sprung this on me. I think it’s because he heard we’re selling the house. He’s against it.

  This was going to be a real fun fucking dinner. A hoot.

  Noah: I’m not sure I should be joining you.

  Heather: I would appreciate your company. I feel like I need a buffer tonight.

  How could I refuse that?

  Noah: Okay. Can I bring something?

  Heather: Do you even have to ask what to bring? ;-)

  Noah: I’ll pick up some garlic bread. Anything else you need?

  Heather: New parents? LOL

  Noah: They don’t sell those at Stop and Shop.

  Heather: See you at 7.

  I smiled.

  Noah: K.

  ***

  The fact that Heather’s father stayed at a hotel when they had this huge house with a couple of guest rooms really spoke volumes about the nature of his relationship with Heather and Alice.

  When I arrived for dinner, it surprised me to see Alice out and about in the kitchen with Heather. It was as if she knew her daughter needed her. Somehow, she’d been able to get her shit together tonight.

  Rick and I sat at the kitchen table as Heather and her mother chopped vegetables for the salad. He’d brought a six-pack of Corona and offered me one. I gladly partook. Anything to take the edge off this situation.

  Heather and Alice refused my numerous offers to help, and I noticed Rick hadn’t even offered once. So far, the only good thing about this guy seemed to be the striking blue eyes he’d passed on to Heather.

  His voice startled me. “Noah, what is it exactly that you do?”

  “I’m a photographer.”

  Heather looked over at us. “Noah is amazing. He’s traveled the world and covered a lot of big events. You should see his website.”

  Rick didn’t seem like he was buying what Heather was selling. “If you have such a great life, why would you want to spend the summer on Lake Winnipesaukee?”

  His question pissed me off. I didn’t like the way he’d said that, as if there was nothing of value here.

  “Just looking for a change of pace.”

  “Actually, Noah’s handiwork is the reason we’re able to put the house on the market. He’s been a big help,” Heather said.

  Rick gave me the stink eye. “Is that so…”

  I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t in favor of the sale.

  Dinner was finally served. Heather had made a meatloaf that was really tasty. The way the ketchup cooked into the top of the meat reminded me of the way my mother used to make it.

  She sat next to me, seeming really tense.

  I leaned into her. “Good job on the meatloaf. It’s delicious.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  For the longest time, it was a quiet and awkward meal with clanking silverware the only sound. Her damn father hadn’t said a thing as he scarfed down the food. I kept sane by sneaking bits of my meal to Fathead, who was hanging out by my feet.

  Alice also looked very stressed. I had to say, I was kind of proud of her. I knew it couldn’t have been easy. Heather had told me she still had a lot of hang-ups about the divorce.

  We hadn’t even gotten halfway through dinner when Rick said, “So, we need to talk about this plan to sell the house.”

  Heather set her fork down and wiped her mouth. “What is there to talk about?”

  “You kno
w how I feel about this. It’s not the right time. The market hasn’t hit its peak, and I think you’re going to be losing a shit ton of money if you don’t wait.”

  “The realtor doesn’t seem to think it’s a bad time.”

  “What does she know? She wants to make a quick buck. You can’t trust what she says.”

  “It doesn’t matter if it’s not the perfect time. We need to sell. I can’t handle the upkeep anymore. I need the money for school.”

  “Why can’t you take out loans like everyone else?”

  “Well, I plan to continue working to help pay my tuition, but I don’t want to have loans hanging over my head for the rest of my life. Plus, Mom has always said when the house sold, I could use some of the money for school.”

  “When did you even decide on school?”

  “I was going to mention it. I got into the University of Vermont’s nursing program. I plan to start in the spring semester.”

  I knew Heather didn’t see her father often, but it was also becoming clear he was the last to know anything going on with her.

  “When were you planning to tell me?”

  “The next time I saw you, which is now. It’s only recently become a possibility.”

  “Do you really think it’s a good idea to abandon your mother?”

  My fists curled into balls. I wanted to punch him. He was pushing this guilt on her when he was the one who’d abandoned them?

  “I’m fine,” Alice insisted.

  “You don’t look fine. You seem worse than you were the last time I saw you.”

  “Aunt Katy is moving here,” Heather announced.

  “Katy? She’s gonna look after your mother? She can’t even take care of herself. You’re gonna leave so you can study how to take care of sick people when your mother is sicker than them all?”

  Alice trembled. “Stop!”

  Heather clenched her jaw. “Why do you even care about anything that happens here?”

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to speak up.