When August Ends

by Penelope Ward

  It was completely surreal, and my heart was broken. All the unpacking was going to have to wait, because I didn’t plan to do anything today but spend time with him.

  I woke up super early to make coffee for us before my mother and aunt woke up. As I entered the kitchen, I realized Noah had beaten me to it.

  “Good morning,” I said, breathing the nutty scent of the java.

  “Good morning, beautiful.” Noah pulled me into an embrace and held me so tightly I could barely breathe.

  Speaking into his chest, I said, “I can’t believe this day is finally here. I don’t feel ready.”

  “I’ll never feel ready.”

  Things were still unclear between us. Noah refused to put a label on what we were or make any promises aside from his general vow to “always be there for me if I needed him.” That didn’t define whether or not we were in a relationship. He’d be there if I really needed him someday, but whether he’d be there for me during all the days in between was still unknown.

  The lack of definition was intentional; I knew that. And I didn’t want to waste our last day pushing the issue or analyzing things. I just wanted to be with him and cherish every second.

  “So I was thinking we could take a drive today,” he said.

  “Where to?”

  “Wherever the wind takes us as long as I’m with my favorite girl.”

  I felt on the verge of crying. It wasn’t going to take much. I’d probably be losing it on and off throughout the day.

  Something I’d forgotten about popped into my head.

  “Katy wants to take you to dinner to thank you for all your help. I didn’t give her an answer because I wasn’t sure how you wanted to spend your last night.”

  “That’s nice of her.”

  “Yeah. But we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

  “As long as you’re there, I’m good with it. Pretty much gonna be stuck to you like glue today.”

  That made me warm inside but sad, too. “Okay, I’ll tell her it’s a go. We don’t have to stay long.”

  “We’ll be out all day, so we can meet her somewhere on our way back. Is your mom going, too?”

  “I have a feeling she’s going to try. She keeps telling me how much she’s gonna miss you.”

  My eyes suddenly filled with tears. The random crying had commenced.

  Noah surprised me by placing his hand on my chin and bringing my mouth into his. Well, that’s one way to stop me from crying. It was the first time he’d kissed me since the one night we’d spent together. Apparently, on his last day he had no fucks left to give. I was thankful, because his kiss was my oxygen right now. I’d forgotten how damn good it felt.

  His warm lips covered mine, and I immediately went in search of his tongue. With his taste and smell flooding my senses, I felt my body go limp. With every push of his tongue against mine, my panties got wetter. If we’d been a smoldering fire the past several weeks, he’d just poured on the gasoline.

  After forcing himself back, he cradled my face. “Fuck, I missed kissing you,” he rasped before planting one more on my lips.

  Smacking his chest playfully, I said, “That didn’t make this any easier, you know. But by all means, keep making my day more difficult.”

  ***

  We ended up at a place I’d never considered.

  Noah drove us to an amusement park about an hour away. We spent the car ride reminiscing about the summer as he held my hand. He introduced me to some of his favorite music, bands like Cake and Audioslave.

  I’d never been more uncertain about the future, but I cared more about this man than I’d ever cared about anyone or anything. That was scary. No matter what happened after tomorrow, at the very least, I hoped to God I would see him again. I was crazy about him, and if he’d told me to hang everything up, run away to Vegas and marry him, I probably would have said yes.

  That insane thinking was precisely why he’d say I needed to go away for a while, that I didn’t know what I really wanted. I guess time would tell, but my money was on my feelings getting stronger with distance between us.

  The afternoon at the park was a blast. We rode all of the big rides and ate some greasy food. Our time on the roller coaster reminded me of our very relationship, all of the ups and downs, twists and turns.

  It was the first time since Noah’s arrival in New Hampshire that we’d truly let loose away from home like this. It was a shame we didn’t have time to visit more places together.

  My favorite parts of the day, though, were the moments when we walked through the park holding hands. He must have known I needed his touch today.

  Toward the end of the afternoon, we passed a little house where psychic readings were offered. I’d never been into visiting a fortune teller, but if there was ever a time in my life that I hoped for some answers about the future, it was now.

  I nudged Noah’s arm. “Will you do this with me?”

  “You into that stuff?”

  “Not normally, but I’m kind of curious.”

  He stared into the window for a bit, then shrugged. “Okay.”

  There was no one inside when we entered. Then, from behind a beaded curtain, a woman appeared.

  “Hello. Reading for two?”

  She had a nose ring and wore a head scarf.

  I looked at Noah then back at her. “Can you do that? Read two people at once?”

  “Yes, but the information I receive is very much out of my control, so it may not be balanced. The spirits decide whom they’d like to message.”

  “So…when you say spirits, are you a medium or a clairvoyant?”

  “A little bit of both—depends on the day and what gifts I’ve been blessed with.”

  After we paid her, she sat us at a small circular table with a red tablecloth. She lit some tealight candles and stared at us for a moment.

  “I am Iliana, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Heather, and he’s Noah.”

  Noah remained quiet, with a skeptical look on his face.

  Suddenly, Iliana squinted in confusion.

  “Okay. This is going to sound really strange. I don’t even know why this question is coming to me. But I am going to ask it anyway. Who’s the ass tickler?”

  Ass tickler?

  “Did you say ass tickler?” I asked. “What is that?”

  “I have no idea,” she said. “But that’s what I’m getting.”

  I looked at Noah. I thought he’d be laughing, but instead he looked shocked. His eyes seemed frozen open.

  “Do you know what she’s talking about?” I asked.

  He scratched his head. “Uhhh…”

  “Noah?”

  The color drained from his face. “Okay, I’m really freaked out right now,” he finally said.

  “Does that have meaning to you?” I laughed a little. “Ass tickler?”

  Noah let out a long breath. “The night of your twenty-first birthday, you fell asleep on my bed. Do you remember that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I never told you, but you were talking in your sleep.”

  I covered my mouth. “Oh no.”

  “And you said the weirdest thing—that you wanted to tickle my ass, among other things.”

  “What?” I yelled. “I said that? And what other things?”

  “We can talk about that later. Nothing bad, but the ass tickling was funny. I just don’t understand how she’d know about that.”

  “I said I wanted to tickle your ass?”

  “Yes.”

  “What the hell was I thinking?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m freaked out.”

  Iliana raised her brow. “Freaked out? Surely you didn’t doubt my abilities?”

  “I thought this was a bunch of bullshit. But you have my attention now.”

  “The introduction of that term is an indication to direct my attention toward Heather for the moment.” Iliana closed her eyes for a while. “Okay. Wow.”


  “What?” I asked impatiently.

  “You have some changes on the horizon. Is there a big move coming up?”

  “Yes. I’m moving to Vermont for school.”

  “Okay. Yes. I’m sensing this looming transition. The next year will be life-changing for you in many ways.”

  “In good ways?”

  “In many ways.”

  My stomach sank. “Does that mean something bad is going to happen?”

  Why did I decide to do this?

  “I can’t tell you that. All I’m getting is that this year is going to change your entire life, and you should be ready for whatever comes.”

  I swallowed. “Okay.”

  Iliana closed her eyes again before turning her attention to Noah. “You’re in love with her…am I right?”

  Oh my God.

  Time seemed to stand still as both of us looked at Noah.

  “Don’t answer that,” I insisted. “It’s not fair for you to be put on the spot. Please don’t answer.”

  I couldn’t bear to hear him say no. The longer he said nothing, the more excruciating this was. Noah just blinked.

  Iliana placed both hands on her head. “Is everything okay with your head?”

  “Depends on who you ask,” he said. “As far as I know. Why?”

  “I can’t be sure. I’m feeling some pressure in my head, and I don’t know what it means. It could be literal or figurative.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “It could represent a lot on your mind or actual physical head pain. Just be cautious.”

  Noah seemed totally weirded out. “Okay.”

  Illiana concluded her reading, and we left her feeling more confused than when we’d walked in.

  Noah grabbed my hand. “I suddenly have a headache.”

  “And I’m mortified because I’m apparently an ass tickler.”

  “I’m still freaked out that she knew that.”

  “What else did I say to you that night?”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Yes.”

  He stopped and leaned into my ear. “You begged me to fuck you.”

  What?

  “You’re lying!”

  “I wouldn’t lie about that. Begged.” He laughed. “That night was the beginning of the end of my resistance.”

  “I can’t believe you never said anything.” Pointing my finger at his chest, I said, “I need to be aware of these things. What if I do that shit at school? I’m going to have to get a roommate. What if I say something to them in my sleep?”

  “You might want to warn them ahead of time, clarify that you can’t be responsible for what you say. Tell them not to believe any of it—even if that shit is true half of the time.”

  ***

  On the way home, we stopped at a restaurant near our house that Katy had selected.

  As predicted, my mother had forced herself out in honor of Noah. It was amazing how much she’d grown to like and trust him compared to the beginning of summer.

  Katy pulled a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table. “So what will be first on the agenda when you get home, Noah?”

  “I’ve booked some assignments starting in October, so I’ll have a little time to get my studio in order again before I get back to work. My father has also been building a laundry list of things he needs me to do, stuff that needs to be fixed. He’s in his early seventies, lives alone, and relies on me a lot.”

  She grinned. “He’ll be happy to have you back.”

  “Yeah.” Noah glanced over at me and offered a sympathetic smile.

  He knew exactly what I was thinking: his father’s gain would be my loss.

  “Well, I hope the long break was just what you needed,” my mother said. “Although you certainly didn’t do much relaxing while you were here. I can’t thank you enough for everything you did for us.”

  “You know it was my pleasure, Alice.”

  My mother reached for my hand across the table. “I know you’re sad about Noah leaving. But I have what I hope is some news that will brighten your night.”

  “What?”

  “Your father called me today while you were out. He’s changed his mind and has officially informed us that he does not intend to take any money from the sale of the house. Of course, it’s not final until the paperwork is signed, but he says he plans to relinquish those rights.”

  The breath rushed out of my lungs. “Wow, okay.”

  Noah squeezed my leg under the table. “That’s great.”

  It was a weird feeling. I knew I should have been happy, but the whole stress of my father threatening us had been unnecessary in the first place.

  Katy smiled. “I’m glad you won’t have to deal with that complication.”

  This dinner was nice, but I was antsy to have Noah to myself again. It was only a matter of hours now before he’d be gone. I knew he was feeling it, too, wishing we could stop time. I’d felt his eyes on me all throughout dinner and could feel an unspoken intensity in the air.

  When my mother went to the bathroom, Katy busied herself with handling the check. She’d refused to let Noah give her money.

  Without an audience for a moment, Noah turned to me and mouthed, “You’re so beautiful.” It was as if he’d been dying to say it.

  “I want you,” I whispered. So badly it hurt.

  I couldn’t let him go back to Pennsylvania without having him one more time. Even if I had to beg for it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  * * *

  NOAH

  My insides twisted as we drove home from the restaurant.

  I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to this place, to say goodbye to Heather.

  Earlier when that psychic had put me on the spot about my feelings, I’d wanted to tell her the truth: that she’d guessed correctly—that I was in love with Heather. In my heart, I knew she was right. It wasn’t something I wanted to admit now, not with Heather’s future on the line. But that woman was fucking good.

  I drove past the exit we normally took to get to the new house. Heather didn’t question where we were going. A few minutes later, we pulled into a desolate parking area that overlooked Lake Winnipesaukee.

  I turned the car off and leaned my head back against the headrest before turning to her. “I wanted to look at the stars with you one last time.”

  Her voice was breathy. “Is that all you want?”

  Fuck no, it isn’t. I rubbed my hand over her thigh, feeling my erection growing by the second.

  “I need you one more time before you go, Noah. Please.”

  No way could I stop this; I was feeling too weak. I’d been a Boy Scout these past several weeks, but I’d run out of whatever had kept me in control. I knew damn well why I’d taken her here. It wasn’t only to look at the stars. I had to have her, too.

  She reached over and placed her hand on my crotch, and I knew I was done. Her eyes brimmed with desire. I drew in a ragged breath as I leaned over to devour her lips, letting out weeks of pent-up frustration. She moaned into my mouth as our kiss grew frantic.

  She climbed over to the driver’s seat to straddle me.

  Desperate to be inside of her, I unbuckled my belt and unzipped my jeans.

  There was one major problem, though. I didn’t have a condom.

  I stopped the kiss long enough to say, “I don’t have anything with me…no condoms.”

  “It’s okay. I’m on the pill. I have been this whole time.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, as long as you’re—”

  “I’m good. Got a clean bill of health before I left Pennsylvania, and I’ve always been safe.”

  She kissed me ravenously as she reached under her skirt and worked her panties down her legs.

  I was rock hard as I took my dick out of my jeans and guided her body onto mine. Sinking into her warm pussy felt even more incredible than I’d remembered.

  I’d only had unprotected sex
when I was married; I’d never trusted any other woman enough to do it without a condom. I’d forgotten what it even felt like. But it had never felt this amazing. Nothing had.

  “Fuck, Heather. You feel too damn good like this.” I thrust into her harder.

  Our eyes locked. She dug her fingernails into my hair.

  The truck shook as we were completely lost in each other. It was terrifying to be inside of her with thoughts of tomorrow looming. She felt like mine in every way right now, and I didn’t want that to change.

  But I needed to let her go to know whether she really was mine.

  It didn’t take long for our starving bodies to lose control. We gasped for air as I quaked beneath her, emptying my cum as she squeezed her pussy around my cock. That thing. I was so freaking grateful to have felt it again, so freaking grateful for every second we had left.

  ***

  The sound of birds chirping woke me. Heather was still asleep in my arms in the backseat of the truck.

  I had only dozed off for a little bit. We’d been up most of the night.

  Heather had fallen asleep before I did. In the middle of the night, I’d reached into my glove compartment for a notepad I kept there and had written her a letter. I would probably be too overwhelmed later to articulate my feelings, so I wanted to get them down while they were fresh. Being intimate with her again had brought out everything I’d been suppressing.

  I’d lost count of the number of times we’d had sex last night. It seemed like enough to undo all those days of celibacy, though. And made what was set to happen today even harder.

  Heather stirred before she looked up at me.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure. But it doesn’t matter. I’m in no rush.”

  “I didn’t think I’d be able to fall asleep.” She yawned. “Figured we’d just stay up all night.”

  “Well, we definitely used a lot of energy. It’s no wonder you crashed.”

  She curled into me. I kissed the top of her head as we stared out at the morning sun over the lake, a virtual clock ticking in my brain.

  There were no words.

  ***