The Run Around

by Bernadette Franklin

  Ouch. Poor Rick. Poor me, too. Damn, we were good at making messes for ourselves. “So, it’s less of a proposal for marriage and more begging for a chance to be her boyfriend?”

  “That is sadly accurate. I figured if I proposed, she’d know I’m serious about a relationship.”

  “I’m probably the exact wrong person to talk to about relationships, because I totally made certain my brother got married to a bridezilla, and I’m still not convinced she has his interests at heart, but he really wanted to marry her, so I went with it. I’m thinking this might make me a bad person.”

  “I’m thinking it makes you a smart person, really. I did have a question about that, if you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind. What’s up?”

  “Did you vet the services she wanted to use?”

  “Amy picked, and Amy would not tolerate other suggestions. I went behind her back on the arrangements that were actually used. Why?”

  “I found something interesting when I was going through the invoices.”

  I scowled. “I vetted the invoices before Mat paid them. They were legitimate companies, and they had good reputations. Amy was the one who drove them off, deliberately if you’d like my opinion on that.”

  “Ah, yes, but were you aware that they are all owned by someone related to or working with her mother?”

  I frowned. “Pardon?”

  “I was curious, so I started doing some research on each of the businesses, and with some poking, I found out that they’re all owned by people Amy’s mother works with in some fashion or another.”

  Ugh. Great. “Mat is not going to be happy if he finds that out, especially when accounting for how she’s run at the altar how many times?”

  “It gets better.”

  That didn’t sound good, especially when his tone of voice promised there was nothing actually better about the situation. “All right. I’m ready. Hit me with it.”

  “Her mother owes all of them money, in similar amounts to the lost deposits.”

  Fuck. Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. “Are you implying that she was using Mat to use the deposits to pay off her mother’s debt, Rick?”

  “Basically. And because she actually married Mat, the odds of this being exposed are rather high. Amy went off somewhere for a week, apparently for a business trip, and Mat isn’t really sure where she’s at. He’s started doing some investigating of his own. I’m concerned.”

  My initial knee-jerk reaction involved popping the bitch in the mouth for using my brother like that, but instead of saying so, I took a few steadying breaths. “Okay. So, she may have done that. She still got married to my brother, even though I did catch her trying to climb out the window. Then there’s the issue of the baby.”

  “That’s the only thing going right. Mat’s excited, Amy’s excited, and they’re probably going to end up with a functional marriage because they both want that baby. Don’t ask them if they’re sure they want a baby so early. They will go for your throat. It’s nobody’s business other than theirs, by the way. They’re tired of the question, and they don’t appreciate anyone being nosy.”

  “Did you make that mistake?”

  “No, that honor went to your father.”

  Oh, boy. “I’ll call Mom tomorrow and see about playing peacemaker.”

  “That wasn’t why I told you. You don’t have to do that.”

  “I’m definitely contributing to the problem, and as such, I can solve the problem easily. I’ll just show up, yell at people for a while, and snarl at them until everyone behaves.”

  Rick stayed quiet, and in the background, I heard his dog give a quiet woof. He chuckled, and a moment later, he grunted. “Sorry about that. Annabel Lee gets sad if I don’t pay enough attention to her. That sound was her vocalizing how her heart is breaking because I haven’t paid attention to her for five whole minutes.”

  “She has a convincing argument.”

  “She usually does. So, that’s the current situation with your brother, and it annoys me that I somehow became the bearer of bad news.”

  “Well, view it this way. My brother hasn’t completely written you off if he’s dragging you into this mess. That’s something.”

  “That’s true. I have a much better understanding on why you would just pack your bags and go. I’m glad I’m already on the way to my new residence, as I don’t think I’d be able to deal with the family drama for much longer. Your family’s drama is almost as bad as my family’s drama. Oh, I have another bit of insider information for you.”

  “You do? I’m not sure I can handle any more information today, Rick. All the information you’ve given me means I’m going to have to find time in the next week or two to go down there and knock some heads together. Also, I’m inviting you to the festivities, and it doesn’t invalidate our scavenger hunt. You can’t use my tags to get my address, though. You can’t use anything that happens during this gathering against me.”

  “I find these terms to be acceptable. Amy’s father had been trying to get her married off for a lot of reasons, including the preservation of his personal reputation. Her tendency to flee her weddings has lost him a lot of business. This was creating problems between Amy’s parents, and it would not surprise me if there’s a divorce in their future. With how much debt her mother’s accrued and how much business her father has lost, it doesn’t hurt her father too much to get out of the relationship now. He is confident he can restore his businesses if Amy and her mother aren’t in the picture. That leads to some other interesting issues.”

  On Monday, I’d make certain to be far more grateful for the limited insanity my current work project brought to the table. “Dare I ask? I’m not sure I should ask, Rick.”

  “I’m telling you only because I don’t know what Amy’s main objective is—and if she is the kind to get revenge on someone. By someone, I mean you. Everyone knows you’re the reason she made it to the altar and the reception, and she’s not the kind to take that sort of thing with grace.”

  “I feel like we should be saying something nice about Amy at this point in time. She can’t be that bad of a person.”

  “I’m sure she has good traits, otherwise Mat wouldn’t want to make a marriage with her work. What are those good traits? I don’t know. All I’ve seen from her lately has been petty jealousy.”

  I considered that. “Maybe she’s just jealous I have a good relationship with my brother when he’s not being a jerk?”

  “That wouldn’t surprise me at all. She’s definitely the type. I don’t like that type,” he admitted.

  “Neither do I. She might be one of those people who can’t stand when her partner has a friend or loved one of the opposite gender. If that’s so, I think that’s really sad. I have a lot of male friends, and it’d be a deal breaker if my partner couldn’t handle that. I’m not giving up my friends for a relationship. I’m totally willing to move away to get a better job and take control of my life, but that’s a different thing.”

  “It is. As soon as you think Mat has been properly chastised, you may want to invite the lot of them to visit you, as they’re upset you moved away. That said, they’re not upset about why you moved away. They just like you and miss you.”

  “You’ve been cornered by them, haven’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I had your favorite milkshake, and I was given the extra cherries.”

  I laughed at the well-aimed tease. “I really do have a problem with those cherries. I think those will be my first grocery store purchase when I move into my new apartment.”

  “That sounds like a plan. Still, just keep your eyes open and be careful. I don’t want Amy to do something stupid—or Amy’s mother, if what I’ve been researching proves to be the truth.”

  Money could make good people do terrible things, although I believed Rick worried unnecessarily. Amy annoyed me, but she didn’t seem that vindictive. “I’ll keep an eye out,” I promise
d.

  “Good. Now that the unpleasant business is out of the way, how are you liking your new job?”

  “Well, I can say this much. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a criminal, business owners probably hate me, and I’m not sure how I managed to get this far in life being a straitlaced accountant. Also, being a good accountant is a lot more work, and while I appreciate the paycheck, I have some regrets right now.”

  “I think you’ll be all right.”

  “If I’m not, I’m blaming you. Mat can deal with you then.”

  Rick laughed. “For a straitlaced accountant, that was a potent threat.”

  “Was it? Mat’s still in the doghouse, and I’ve decided he’s not allowed to share doghouses with either Edgar Allan Paw or Annabel Lee.”

  “That’s absolutely ruthless.”

  “Putting him in a doghouse with either of our babies would be a reward.”

  “That it would be. How do you want me to handle your brother?”

  “Don’t. I’ll take care of our family mess. I’ll give Mom a call tomorrow and figure out when I can head down for a visit to set everybody straight.”

  “I’m pretty sure you threatening to set everybody straight will be sufficient to take care of the situation.”

  “If only.”

  Fifteen

  It’s the naughty daughter calling.

  While I no longer attended church, my parents did, so I busted ass through Sunday morning until two in the afternoon, which would be late enough for them to have attended service, grabbed something to eat with their church friends, and return home. Then, because my parents liked having their afternoon tea in peace, I waited for an extra thirty minutes before calling their house line.

  On Sundays, their cells counted as the devil’s tool, and they wanted nothing to do with technology.

  “Hello?” my mother answered, as she also viewed her answering machine and Caller ID as the devil’s tools, too.

  “Hey, Mom. It’s the naughty daughter calling to inform you that word has spread through the grapevine Dad said something stupid to Mat, and I am required to stage an intervention and go through familial repair protocols. I will be bringing a friend, his dog, my dog, and my cat, and I will expect all furry members of the family to be treated as though they are visiting dignitaries from a faraway land.”

  My mother sighed. “Are you drunk, Hope?”

  “No. I was drunk early this week, though. My new landlord is a very nice Italian gentleman, and he celebrates new lease signings with wine. As it would have been rude to refuse the wine, I enjoyed some. My new apartment has heated floors, a jet tub, and space enough for myself and my two new pets.”

  “You got a new job and moved so you could have animals, didn’t you?”

  “That plus Mat was mean to me, so I decided to teach him an important lesson, but it seems Dad tried to teach Mat a lesson or two and created a family meltdown. Dad should have known better.”

  “Your father should have known better, yes. He’s working his way around to apologizing, so an intervention may not be required.”

  I faked a gasp. “No! Dad might actually apologize without requiring an intervention? This isn’t acceptable, Mom. That’s not allowed in the family rule book. He can’t break the family rules.”

  “You just want to stage an intervention.”

  I shrugged. “You tend to feed me when I’m required to stage an intervention, and I’d like you to meet my dog and cat.”

  “Very well. I’ll tell your father he needs to maintain his grumpiness levels with your brother until you can come visit. What would my little girl like to have for dinner?”

  “Roast beef, please. It’ll probably be two to three weeks, as I have to finish getting settled here first, but I might be able to wing next weekend if I finish a work project early.”

  “Don’t rush through your work to finish it early. You know how badly you stress if you feel you’ve rushed your work. Two weeks is fine. That’ll give me plenty of time to call the butcher for a good roast. Can you accept prime rib?”

  Could I? I snorted at that question. “Only if you let me pay for it. I got a substantial raise at my new job, so I can afford the splurge. That can be my penance for taking a job offer without warning.”

  “I’m proud of you, but a little warning next time would be appreciated. How do you like your new job?”

  I smiled, and I sharpened my various weapons in my arsenal of parental torment. “I got to work with male prostitutes all week.”

  “I was unaware prostitutes needed accountants.”

  “These ones do.”

  “Male prostitutes?”

  “My work this week has been stunning, and their preferred outfits are suits.”

  “Have you been enjoying the scenery at work, Miss Hope?”

  “Absolutely. It’s strictly look but don’t touch, but the two days I’ve had to run to the client’s building have been very pleasant. They’re polite gentlemen. You’d like them.”

  “But they’re prostitutes.”

  “They’re exceptionally polite prostitutes, hard workers, and smart. Honestly, I’m doing them a favor and not telling the single women of my new home state they’re available. They’d be swarmed.”

  “What did I do to deserve to be taunted today?”

  “You let Dad say something pretty mean to Mat, and while I’m still planning appropriate payback against my brother, that was really mean.”

  “I’ll make sure your father knows he is going to be thoroughly scolded so he can prepare the appropriate forgiveness bribes.”

  I laughed, as that meant Dad would come to the family mediation meeting armed with milkshakes, extra cherries, and a chocolate cake for my brother. The parental forgiveness bribes had worked from the day we’d been adopted, and it would likely work for the rest of their lives. “And however much some of us are annoyed with Amy, we will be polite to her. She’s pregnant, and as such, you will come with everything a mother-to-be requires for her torturous journey towards delivery.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “And we’ll pretend that they didn’t spill the beans about this before the generally safe window to do so. You will also offer to take her to any doctor’s appointments she may need, as I have the feeling that her parental situation may bar much support from her family.”

  My mother sucked in a breath. “I see.”

  “You’re good at the parent thing, so while I want to shackle Amy at times, do the parent thing and pretend she’s just an extra one that wandered home with Mat. However much I want to shackle Amy at times.”

  “You’re still upset with Amy.”

  “Yep. I took a baseball to the head for her, and all I got out of it was a headache and a hard time from my brother. He found out about the ball and chain.”

  “We have heard all about the ball and chain. We have also heard that the ball and chain has a new owner, who happens to be one of Mat’s best friends. You should know better.”

  “The other option was to just let her get cold feet and run out on Mat. It only took threatening to use the ball and chain once to get her to the altar. Once she got there, she did fine, and everything I’ve heard so far indicates they want that baby, so I am expecting my mother and father to be the perfect grandparents for that baby, even with whatever other issues Mat’s wife may bring to the table.”

  “I see you have decided to become assertive.”

  “Damn straight I’ve decided to become assertive. So, you are going to be hosting two very big, white, and fluffy dogs along with one fluffy white kitten. Edgar Allan Paw is quite old and will probably just want a cushion to rest his tired bones on. Lenore will stay with Edgar Allan Paw, and I have no idea what Annabel Lee will do, but I hope it involves putting Mat in his place.”

  My mother stayed quiet for long enough I worried I’d broken her. “That means Fredrick will be coming to our family dinner and bringing his dog.”

  “Yes, the one big dog is Ri
ck’s. He’s been putting up with Mat’s issues, so he deserves to be fed a good prime rib.”

  “Did you say your dog’s name is Edgar Allan Paw?”

  “Yep.”

  “And your cat’s name is Lenore?”

  I grinned. “I’m thinking about a parakeet, and should I get one, I’m naming it Raven.”

  “I see you are pursuing your love of animals now that you’ve flown from the nest and found an apartment that permits them.”

  “I met a spider earlier this week. Her name is Ruby, she’s huge and old but not cranky. I wasn’t brave enough to hold her, but her owner, one of my clients, had her out of her container. I never knew spiders could be pretty, but Ruby was nice for a spider.”

  “Please do not get a pet spider. I would have to visit your home and be forced to like a spider.”

  I considered if my apartment could handle a spider, if I wanted a pet spider, and what I might name one to fit in with my plans to theme my pets around a literary genius. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I’m interpreting that to mean you’re thinking about getting a spider.”

  “You’re so smart, Mom.”

  “I suppose I should be grateful you didn’t hit your rebellious stage until after you moved out of the house.”

  I thought about that, my eyes widening as I realized my mother made a good point. “This is like a rebellious stage on steroids, isn’t it?”

  “It really is. I hear you got rid of your old beater, too.”

  “I am the proud owner of a glittery Mercedes. I’ll show it to you when I visit. It’s a great car, it’s really comfortable, and Edgar Allan Paw really likes rides in it. I didn’t realize this when I got it, but the back seats are heated, which is great for him, as he seems to appreciate warm places. He’ll even sit in the front seat, and he’s been taught to tolerate a seatbelt, but it’s not as comfortable for him as the back. It does mean I have to clean the interior a few times a week, but he’s worth it.”

  “Why did you get a dog so soon, though? It’s not like you to jump into that responsibility so recklessly.”