The Run Around

by Bernadette Franklin

  Annabel Lee and Edgar Allan Paw took to each other well enough they crammed onto the back seat together and opted to take a nap, leaving Lenore to decide which dog to sleep on. She sniffed Annabel Lee warily, flicked an ear back, and claimed her throne on Edgar Allan Paw’s back.

  I envied Rick, who could twist around and watch our pets whenever he wanted.

  Escape happened later than I’d liked, with Mr. Carter catching his wife by her waist and dragging her indoors while waving a farewell with his free hand. I took the opportunity to lock the doors and pull out of their driveway before she could escape and delay us longer.

  “You know the strangest people, Rick.”

  He laughed. “I knew Juliette had a reputation, but had I known how fun she could be, I really would have concocted an excuse to visit sooner. I wasn’t expecting her to corner you, but I find it difficult to be sorry. I got a bill. You got a box.”

  “She probably took you for all you’re worth and felt your purchases had paid for her generosity.”

  He laughed harder. “You’re probably right. I ordered a ridiculous amount of clothes while waiting for you to get here. It worked well, since you’ll have a great dress for the wedding, although apparently, I have to pay for it.”

  “I can pay for my own dress.”

  “You should ask how much the dress costs before saying that. I know how much the dress costs. Just don’t ask how much the dress costs. My cousin is going to regret wanting Carter gowns when she gets the bill. And yes, my cousin is paying for the dresses. Since they’re Carters with minor variants, she’ll pay for the design and the materials, which is cheaper than if she were to buy them individually. They’re still not cheap, though.”

  “Oh, so my dress will be one of those?”

  Sighing, Rick bowed his head. “Probably not.”

  “Why not? She wanted me to be part of the party. You cousin did, right?”

  “Elizabeth does, yes. That’s my cousin. I’m not sure I’ve said her name before. But yes, she does. The problem is, I told Juliette you were planning the wedding, too. So, you get a dress all of your own, and since it’s my fault, I’m paying the bill. Juliette has opinions about wedding planners.”

  “She does? Are they bad?”

  “Oh, no. Juliette loves planning weddings. But the planners usually get a slow screw, and the only person who will be dressed better than you will be the bride and groom.”

  “That sounds worrisome.” At the first stop sign, I tapped the nav panel and activated the drive instructions to get to my parents’ house. The car informed me we would be on the road for almost five hours thanks to traffic. “How will everyone else react to it?”

  “It will be glorious chaos, as you’ll be surrounded by the rich and famous, and you are neither rich nor famous. I’m going to have a great time watching them try to figure out how to handle you. Since Elizabeth determined you’re planning her wedding and you’ll be in the party, nobody will want to piss her off, but they aren’t going to understand why she wanted an American. They’re already having kittens that I’ve moved to the United States. They had kittens when I moved to Japan.”

  “Where are you supposed to be from, anyway?”

  “I was born in Dover.”

  “England?”

  “Yep. My mother was visiting Dover castle when I decided I was done with being carried around. She appreciated my escape plan, which was done within an hour. She didn’t even get to leave the grounds before I showed up, much to her disgust. I showed up two weeks early, ready to conquer England. Then I decided I liked business and international affairs more than appropriate, and I started my business ventures at sixteen. She thought I was working on a hobby rather than making some serious ploys to start my own company. By eighteen, she realized I had more business sense than half of the family combined. I started with stock management, had some really lucky hits, and then I moved into other business ventures. Dad says I have a horseshoe crammed up my ass. When I started heavily investing in Japanese companies, I moved there to be close to work. I’ve gotten those ventures stabilized, so here I am.”

  “And then you told Elizabeth you were interested in someone.”

  “Yep. That’s got the entire family riled up, too, as I refuse to inform them of the subject of my interest. If I tell them, they’ll ambush her, and I’d rather she have plenty of warning. I’ll talk to her about it eventually. When I work up the nerve. Someday. Hopefully soon.”

  Poor Rick. “Good luck with that. It sounds like you’re going to need it.”

  “I really will.”

  Seventeen

  I got dragged into a woman’s sewing room.

  We made it to my parents place a little before one in the morning, and my brother stormed out of the two-storied house. According to his expression, we were dead and didn’t know it yet.

  Edgar Allan Paw didn’t approve of my brother’s body language, jumped out of the car, and gave a big woof, which stopped Mat in his tracks. My dog sat down and gave a self-satisfied huff. I rewarded my old man with a head pet and a kiss on his nose. “Good boy.”

  “That’s not Annabel Lee. That one is even bigger than Annabel Lee. What have you done, Hope?” my brother complained.

  “I invested in my personal security. Okay, he is just really old and had been dumped, and I couldn’t let him spend the rest of his life in a shelter. This is Edgar Allan Paw, and his kitten is Lenore. Yes, he’s bigger than Annabel Lee, but he’s usually a good, quiet boy. Come over nicely and say hello. Without being cranky. Why are you cranky, anyway?”

  “You were supposed to be here two hours ago.”

  Oh. Right. “I got dragged into a woman’s sewing room. Sorry. She was too nice to say no to.”

  “Juliette Carter got her hands on Hope. I had gone to get fitted for suits, and when Hope showed up, Juliette dragged her off, and Mr. Carter said to just let it be. I think Juliette had a few hard days at work and wanted something positive to do. And there was something about medications. Oh. Juliette is the fashion designer doing El’s wedding. Hope needed to be measured anyway, so it worked out. I texted you we would be late. That reminds me. I need to text Mr. Carter so Juliette doesn’t worry.”

  Rick sounded as tired as I felt, and I expected I’d be rambling within a few minutes, too. While Rick handled texting Mr. Carter, I introduced my brother to my dog, and as I wasn’t a complete bitch, I gave him a hug. “I’m still mad at you for saying stupid shit, but I’ll let it slide for now.”

  “How long are you going to let it slide?”

  “You’ll have to figure out where I live on your own, and I’ll only give you clues if you’re nice to me and my pets.”

  “Harsh but deserved. Amy did come, and I think she’s mostly forgiven you for the ball and chain. On a condition.”

  Uh oh. “What condition?”

  “Should any man ever decide to propose to you, she’s showing up with the ball and chain, and she’s making certain you can’t run away from any embarrassing overtures he might subject you to. She will also attend your wedding, and she will be prepared to use the ball as necessary. She might insist you just wear it and be hauled to the altar on a cart. Your groom can walk down the aisle, as you’ll be incapable of doing it in a dignified manner.”

  Wow. There was harsh, and then there was flat-out revenge. “That’s mean.”

  “I thought so, too, but Rick decided he’d loan his ball and chain for the cause, as the idea made him laugh.”

  I turned to Rick, put my hands on my hips, and narrowed my eyes.

  Rick grinned and shrugged. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, and she was willing to forgive you if she could have a turn with the ball and chain. She even admitted it was a little funny you’d gone that far to make sure she married Mat. And since you were trying to play peacekeeper, I thought I’d join in, too. That said, don’t let Mat know if you find any men interesting. He’ll demand the ball and chain, and I’ll be forced to offer it to him.”

/>   Double wow. “That’s ruthless. Utterly ruthless. I’m not sure either one of you deserve Mom’s prime rib.”

  Rick held his hands up in surrender. “I was surrounded, and they were issuing ultimatums. But at least I’m warning you, right?”

  “There will be rules. First, should the ball and chain be used, the victim will be in good health, there will be a safe word in case of panic, and it will not be used should it potentially cause risk to life or limb. There will be no ball on board the cruise liner, as the ship could rock, the ball could roll, and those in the ball’s way could be severely injured. You may bring the chain and only the chain on board the cruise ship, and you will not use it without the bride’s permission. Actually, you need the groom’s permission, too. I’d normally say the wedding planner’s permission, but it seems I’m being vetoed. Second, you will make sure the manacle can be removed without the key, so you’ll have to replace that part. I got it as a threat, not as something to be actually used. Third, you will make sure that all targets of the manacle are sized appropriately for it, as it is iron and will cut off circulation. You will have soft padding to prevent injury to the victim. Fourth, you will not break any laws while using the ball and chain.”

  With that list, I might dodge it assuming I ever found a man eligible for marriage. As Rick already had his eye on someone, I expected I’d dodge the ball and chain. I narrowed my eyes. “Fifth, you will not hire male strippers or prostitutes to pretend they’re interested in me for an excuse to make use of the ball and chain.”

  Rick covered his mouth, but I heard him snort in an attempt to contain his laughter.

  My brother’s mouth dropped open. “Why do you think I’d hire male strippers or prostitutes?”

  “They’re gorgeous and make a good bachelorette gift? Have you ever met a male stripper before, Mat? Or a male prostitute?”

  “I can’t say I have.”

  “I have, and should I ever be put in a position where a ball and chain might be warranted, well, the groom will have a fantastic night after I’ve been looking at hot men for several hours the night before the wedding.”

  Rick choked on his laughter, went down on his knees, and buried his face in his dog’s fur.

  I smirked.

  “You’re doing this to get back at me, aren’t you?”

  “Absolutely. That said, you don’t have to actually hire any strippers, as I’d probably get upset or jealous if my husband-to-be was drooling all over other women without me. What can I say? I’m the jealous kind.”

  “You are?” Mat raised a brow. “I thought you were the chronically single kind uninterested in marriage.”

  I scowled. “Just because I haven’t expressed interest in specific men does not mean I’m not interested in establishing a permanent relationship with one. I just have a busy job, and it wouldn’t be fair to the poor man who has to compete with my current schedule. Maybe in a few months I will look for a suitable partner. And if I stay too busy, maybe I’ll just hire a male prostitute.”

  “Please don’t,” Mat begged in a strained voice. “If our parents find out, I’m a dead man for not keeping a closer eye on you.”

  “You’re a married man who needs to keep an eye on his wife, not on his wayward sister. Anyway, I’m old enough I can hire male prostitutes if I want to. I’m even old enough I can snag some random man off the street and take him home with me if I want to. No matter what I decide, you get to have zero say in who I date or take home with me.”

  “Hope, please.”

  I engaged in a glaring match with my brother, and I prodded his chest with a finger. “If you can pick any woman you want, I can pick any man I want.” I considered pointing at Rick and making a comment about the man who technically no longer classified as an eligible bachelor, but I decided against it. “Have I made myself clear?”

  “You’ve made yourself clear,” my brother replied. “Please don’t make use of a male prostitute. I’ll do whatever you want, but please don’t go there.”

  “Anything I want?”

  My brother heaved a sigh. “As long as it’s legal and within reason.”

  “I’ll get back to you on that. Is the guest bedroom ready for Rick?”

  “It is.”

  “You can carry my box of stuff to my room while I show him where the guest bedroom is and get him settled in for the night. This doesn’t count as your owed favor, but I haven’t gotten to sleep in for weeks, so I’d appreciate if you convinced our parents I should be allowed to laze about in bed until after noon if I want.”

  Mat chuckled, kissed my cheek, and went to the back of my car. “You got it. I’ll keep them off your back.”

  “Come on, Rick. I’ll show you to your room. As you’re a guest, you do not have to get out of bed before noon unless you want to. Mom and Dad will just expect me to play hostess, so with my luck, Mat will cave and get me up no later than nine.”

  “I’ll really try to keep them from bothering you until noon.”

  Rick chuckled and snagged his bag out of my trunk. “I’ll keep them busy while you sleep, Hope. That’s the least I can do as thanks for driving me here.”

  If Rick kept being nice, I’d be a depressed mess at his cousin’s wedding, aware I was trying to prepare a perfect day and the start of a new life for him and his partner. While I wouldn’t make use of any male prostitutes, I would begin with doing my best to cure myself of my ill-timed, ill-fated crush. I did give myself credit.

  My heart had picked a good man.

  “Thanks, Rick. If they give you problems, just pick a fight with Mat. They’ll forget I exist until you two are all nice and friendly with each other again. Or grab a deck of cards and play Euchre.”

  “I know how to play Euchre. That actually sounds like fun. If Mat and his parents play, we’ll have four. Does Amy play, Mat?”

  “No. Amy prefers to watch television and relax, usually with a book. I can’t tell if she’s reading the book or watching television, but I figure if that makes her happy, it’s no skin off my back.”

  I hadn’t taken Amy to be the type to read while watching television, but while I still had some misgivings about the woman, I would reevaluate my stance with that in mind. “We’re going to bed, Mat. You can play Euchre with Rick tomorrow.” I meant to grab my bag, but my brother slapped my hand and shooed me towards the house. Shaking my head, I headed to the walkway. “After you, Rick. My old man picks his own pace, which is typically a dignified waddle. If he has trouble on the stairs, I’ll give you directions.”

  Rick chuckled. “If he has trouble on the stairs, I’ll carry him.”

  Bye, bye, heart. I didn’t need the damned thing anyway. It just insisted on getting me into trouble.

  True to his word, Rick carried my old man of a dog up the steps, and he insisted on putting Edgar Allan Paw to bed first. Both of my animals settled on the bed while I showed Rick the guest bedroom, but Annabel Lee whined and huddled against my legs.

  “I think she wants to cuddle with her new friends,” Rick admitted after five fruitless minutes of trying to convince his dog to go into the guest bedroom with him while my brother moved my box into my old room.

  What was one more dog in my bedroom? As far as I was concerned, I’d stumbled into doggy paradise. “She can stay with me if she’ll survive being separated from you for that long.”

  “I think she’ll manage,” Rick replied in a rueful tone. “You weren’t kidding about charming my dog, were you? You can’t take her home with you. I love her too much. You can visit her as often as you’d like, though.”

  I took Annabel Lee’s leash, and sure enough, she followed me without hesitation. “I won’t steal your beautiful girl, but I’ll think about it often.”

  “If she becomes a bother, come get me, and I’ll carry her over and deal with the whining. It’s probably a ploy to get extra attention. She lives for attention.”

  I could believe that. “Sleep well, Rick. Don’t let anyone in my family talk you into doing a
nything you don’t want to do. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up helping Dad in the garden while Mat becomes Mom’s slave.”

  “How about you?”

  “I usually end up in the garden because I like it,” I admitted. “I have old pairs of sweats here just so I can play in the dirt.”

  “I did bring spare clothing, so I’ll be all right even if I get saddled into doing yard work. Sleep well, Hope.”

  “You, too.”

  Annabel Lee heeled until I opened the bedroom and unclipped her leash, and then she jumped up on the bed with Edgar Allan Paw and Lenore, curled up, stuck her nose against my dog’s side, and crashed out. I regarded the bed with a sigh, wondering how I’d fit without disturbing them.

  Oh, well. I bothered my kitten long enough to remove her harness, and I changed into the flannel pajamas Juliette Carter had given me.

  With a little work and curling up, I got into bed without dislodging either dog or the kitten. Had I been home, my cramped state may have prevented sleep, but the long drive worked in my favor. I passed out within minutes.

  Sharing the bed with two dogs and a cat was one thing, but waking up buried beneath a pile of animals was another. One of the dogs had their butt in my face, and I spit out long white strands of dog fur. Lenore batted at my nose whenever the dog moved its tail.

  One of them was licking my toes, and I wanted to scream and kick my feet, but I restrained myself, as I didn’t want to hurt my dog or Rick’s.

  On second thought, I doubted I’d be able to kick, as a dog had decided to use my legs as a bed, and the weight did a good job of pinning me in place.

  Lenore pawed at my nose, I spit out even more fur, and I sighed.

  “While you said you wanted to sleep until noon, are you sure?” Rick asked from somewhere nearby. “Are you still alive? Please tell me you’re still alive. You’re completely buried under our dogs. Hope?”

  “I’m not dead yet.” Speaking came with a problem. The instant I opened my mouth, I ate fur, which I had to spit out. Again. “A dog is sitting on my head.”