I turned and faced the water again. Bringing my hand up to my mouth, I stared out over the bay. “Yesterday was our anniversary. I almost called him, Carol.”
“What stopped you?”
I shook my head and wiped my tears away. “What if…someone else answered? What if he’s happy? It’s been almost two years, and I can’t expect him to be waiting for me. I’ve dated. I’ve seen him with someone. I don’t blame him for moving on. I’m just not sure I’m ready to accept it, even though I’m trying to tell myself I have to.”
“I’m putting on my therapist hat.”
I glanced back at her over my shoulder and let out a half sob, half laugh. “I thought it was already on.”
She shook her head. “Yes, you’ve gone out on a few dates. It’s never amounted to anything. Has there even been one guy you’ve gone on a second date with?”
“No.”
“Slept with?”
“No, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Though I almost did with Jason.”
“Oh yeah, he was cute!” She waggled her brows. “I was really hoping you slept with him.”
My mouth fell open as I stared at her. She waved me off and went on.
“You’ll need to brace yourself for what you’re going to find when you go back to Boggy Creek, if you choose not to call him ahead of time. To not call anyone.”
I felt a tear slip free, and I quickly wiped it away.
“Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that he’s moved on from the anger phase,” Carol said. “He’s a man, and his pride must have kicked in. I’m going to guess that’s the reason he stopped communicating with you. Even if he’s past that phase, the moment he sees you—if he even has a shred of feelings for you—he’ll react.”
“How?”
Carol shrugged. “I don’t know, sweetie. I’d hazard a guess that his instinct will be to try and hurt you like you hurt him.”
I felt my chest grow tight. “That’s fair enough. I deserve it.”
“Maybe, maybe not. You had a lot of emotional baggage when I met you, Abby. You only just started talking about the loss of the baby eight months ago. You’ve got to learn to stop shouldering the blame. You messed up, you tried to reach out to him, and he pushed you away. I think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he might try to do it again. He’ll be pissed, he may say something hurtful, and if he does, you’ll need to work through it by either calling me or going to see the therapist I told you about in Boggy Creek.”
I nodded. “I’ve already called and made an appointment to meet with her.”
Carol smiled. “Good. That makes me happy to hear. She’s really going to be able to help you cope with the loss a lot better than I’ve been able to.”
Walking over to her, I took her hands in mine. “You’ve been such a blessing to me. The moment I told you about the baby…it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.”
She pulled me into her arms and we hugged.
“I hurt him so badly, Carol. And if I could…” My voice trailed off as a sob ripped from my chest. “If I could just tell him how sorry I am. How blind I had been by thinking I was doing the right thing by leaving.”
Carol ran her hand gently up and down my back, then patted it a few times. It reminded me of what my mother used to do whenever I got hurt. It was her way of comforting me. “That’s why you need to go back, Abby. Hiding here in Boston is slowly tearing you apart. You have to tell him why you left. Even if your reasons now seem silly to you, at the time, they weren’t. He deserves to know, and you deserve to be able to move on.”
“Then what?” I whispered. “After I tell him...if he lets me tell him?”
She took in a long breath and slowly let it out. “Then you leave it in the hands of fate. He’s either going to forgive you or he’s not. But you’re never going to be able to escape the past unless you’re able to forgive yourself and tell him the truth. Tell him you still love him. Tell him the divorce was a mistake. Tell him you want him back.”
I dragged in a shaky breath. “I’ve been such a coward.”
“One step at a time, Abby. Take care of things here. Go back home. Get things settled with your folks, then talk to Bishop. If you can’t talk to him first, then talk to your friends. Arabella and Greer…right?”
I nodded. “I, um, I already put in my notice at the nursery, and it wasn’t hard to find someone to sublet my place for the next few months.”
“I bet the nursery will be sad to see you go.”
With a half shrug, I replied, “Maybe. I know they want me to be happy. The owners have been so good to me.”
The day I filed for divorce from Bishop, I’d left the lawyer’s office and had walked blindly around Boston. I’d eventually stumbled into a floral nursery. Pam had immediately noticed that I’d been crying. When I started to talk about the flowers, she began asking me questions. How did I know so much about flowers? Was I from Boston? When I told her I had just filed for a divorce, she asked if I wanted a job. I never looked back. I’d been working at Bakerton Nursery for nearly a year and a half, as well as part time at a local floral shop.
“I want you to be happy too,” Carol said, “and I think this is long overdue. You know I’ve never held back with you, Abby.”
Giving her a look that said no shit, I replied, “No, you have not.”
“Listen, I counsel couples all the time and see what they put each other through, thinking they’re saving each other from hurt. When you love someone so much, you want to protect them. You were afraid you’d hurt Bishop, and in your mind, the best thing you could do for him was to leave. Tell him that.”
All I could do was nod. Then the tears came again. “I just left him, Carol. I left him all alone to deal with the loss of our child. All because I was too afraid to be honest with him. To talk to him. To let him in and grieve with me. Too afraid to tell him I was terrified of trying for another baby. If I had only just been able to be honest… I wouldn’t be surprised if he closes the door in my face.”
She reached for my hand and squeezed it. “Give him time, Abby. Expect the anger, like I said. Let him be angry. Then, when he calms down, tell him everything you told me. He might get angry again, he might tell you it’s a little too late, or…he might forgive you. You’ll never know until you go to him.”
I let out a quick breath. “Are you sure you can’t take a few weeks’ vacation and come with me?”
Laughing, she shook her head and walked back to the kitchen. “I’m only a phone call away, and I’m here if you need me. Now, let me get this lasagna into the oven, and then you and I are going for a walk along the waterfront. If you’re leaving in a few days, I want to hit up that cupcake place and drown my sadness in chocolate buttercream.”
Two Weeks Later – The first week of November
The moment I drove past the sign that said, Welcome to Boggy Creek, population one thousand, six hundred and sixty-two, I pulled over onto the shoulder. I dropped my head onto the steering wheel and let out a long, painful groan. I had no freaking idea what to expect. Who would still be angry with me? Who would be happy to see me? Would anyone even notice I was back?
I drew in a few deep breaths and mentally prepared myself.
But then a light tap on my window made me scream and jump in my seat.
I turned and saw Hunter Turner standing there. He wore the same smile he’d always had, and I couldn’t help but smile back. He hadn’t changed a bit in the last two years.
With a deep breath, I unbuckled, opened the car door, and got out.
“Abby,” he said softly before he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
I fought like the devil not to cry. A sense of relief washed over me at his warm reception. I wasn’t sure what I could expect when I came back. I knew people were aware I was the one who’d left Bishop. I was the one who’d broken his heart. And I wasn’t sure if Bishop had shared our loss or not.
“Hunter, it’s so good to see you.”
He pushed me back at arm’s length and gave me a once-over. “Why are you on the side of the road? Are you sick? Is everything okay? I have to admit, I was a bit shocked when these plates came back with your name.”
“I’m good. Nothing’s wrong. I think I was just a bit…emotional, that’s all.”
He frowned. “Emotional? Why?”
“Too many reasons to get into on the side of the road. How have you been?”
“Good. I’ve been good.”
A dog barked, and I looked back at his Police SUV. “Is that a…dog?” When I focused back on Hunter, I realized his uniform said K9. “You did it! You got a K9 partner?”
He smiled. “I did. That’s Jack.”
My smile instantly faded. “Wait. Jack?”
Hunter laughed. “It drives my dad crazy that I named my K9 Jack too.”
I covered my mouth with my hand and giggled. “I bet it does.” Then I chewed on my lip as we both stood there awkwardly. “Willa? How is she? I heard she married Aiden.”
“She’s great. Yeah, they’re married and expecting a baby in January.”
“Oh wow! That’s wonderful news.”
He nodded. “And what about you? How have you been?”
“I’ve been…okay.”
He pulled his brows in some. “Just okay?”
“Yep, just okay.”
“Are you here to visit your folks?”
I shook my head. “No, um…I’m actually moving back to Boggy Creek.”
His eyes went wide with shock. “You’re moving back?”
Chewing on the corner of my lower lip, I replied, “I am.”
“Wow. Well, that’s great news. I’m sure your folks are real happy.”
“I hope so. I know they’ve been needing some help with the flower farm, and with my mom struggling with arthritis, I figured it was time I stopped running.”
That took him by surprise, and he jerked his head back. “Does, um…does Bishop know?”
I shook my head. “I hate to ask you this, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him. I’d like to talk to him first before he finds out I’m back and avoids me altogether.”
Hunter gave me a sweet smile. “He wouldn’t do that to you, Abby.”
I let out a grim laugh. “I’m not so sure about that. But I’m hoping he’ll at least speak to me.”
Something passed over Hunter’s face. It was like he wanted to tell me something but wasn’t sure he should. “Well…since everything’s okay, I’m going to let you go. Tell your folks I said hi and…I’m real glad you’re back, Abby. I mean that.”
“Thank you, Hunter. You don’t know how much I appreciate that. See you around?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” He walked backward toward his police vehicle and lifted his hand. “Drive safe.”
When he slipped into his SUV, I turned and got into my own car.
Hunter drove by, and I saw K9 Unit on the side of his SUV in big letters, as well as the name Jack. I chuckled again.
After drawing in a few deep breaths, I put my car in drive, then pulled out onto the two-lane highway. Thirty minutes later, I pulled down the long driveway of Boggy Creek Seed Farm.
Home.
My mother was, of course, waiting on the porch for me. My father was nowhere in sight. When I got out of the car, Mom practically ran to me.
“Momma, should you be running like that?” I asked, allowing her to pull me into a tight embrace.
“When I haven’t seen my daughter in months, then yes, I’m allowed. I’m feeling so much better.” She leaned in closer and whispered, “I’ve been taking the medical marijuana, and it’s helping a lot with the arthritis pain.”
I tried not to laugh. “I’m glad, but, Momma, you don’t have to whisper. It’s legal to use medical marijuana.”
“I know, but I still can’t help but think about all those rainbow parties your daddy and I used to go to. It wasn’t legal then.”
Laughing again, I kissed her on the cheek and then looked past her toward the house. “Where’s Daddy?”
Her smile faltered for a moment. “He’s out in the greenhouse with Larry and Jax.”
“Jax?”
“Yes, she’s a horticulturist. She moved here a few weeks ago.”
I frowned. “Does she work on the farm?”
My mother laughed. “Oh no. She works for the state, and she’s doing some work over at the state park and around the area. Something about a beetle and the trees and some flowers being impacted by it.”
“A beetle? How weird.”
She simply went, “Mmmhmm.”
“And her name is Jax?”
“Short for Jacqueline.”
“Oh, cute.”
Looking nervous for some reason, my mother nodded. “Yep, cute. Come on in, let’s get you settled. I made up your bed with fresh linens.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
She waved her hand as if to dismiss me. “I did. I don’t even remember the last time you slept in that bed. At least ten or eleven months ago.”
“You didn’t, um, tell anyone I was coming home, did you?”
“No, of course not. You asked us not to, so we’ve kept it on the down low.”
Laughing, I asked, “On the down low?”
“Jax has a little girl, Ashley. She’s ten. She says that all the time.”
I walked into the house and took in a deep breath. Home.
God, I loved how it smelled in my folks’ house. It was like a fresh bouquet of spring flowers. The smell hit you instantly. I glanced around the living room and smiled when I saw flowers in a vase. My mother always had fresh flowers somewhere in the house. It was something I’d picked up from her. “Is her husband with her as well?”
My mother turned and looked at me. “Husband?”
“This Jax woman. You said she had a little girl. Is her husband staying here while she’s working in the area?”
“No, she lost her husband a few years back in an accident. He was a firefighter. I think a building fell on him or something horrible like that.”
I brought my hand up to my mouth. “That’s terrible. Poor thing.”
With a nod, my mother said, “Yes. But she’s done an amazing job with her daughter.”
She started toward the kitchen and called back, “I made your favorite potato soup! It’s going to snow tonight, so I knew you’d want it!”
And just like that, I felt a sense of warmth surround me.
I was back in Boggy Creek.
Finally, I was home.
Bishop
I walked into The Coffee Pot and smiled when I saw her. I headed toward the booth and stopped. I pulled out the small bouquet of flowers I had behind my back and held them in front of me.
Her little, round blue eyes looked up at me and widened. A smile grew across her face and Ashley shrieked in delight. “Mommy, it’s Bishop!”
Jax pulled Ashley back down into the booth and covered her mouth with her hand while she laughed. “Goodness, Ashley, alert the whole town, will you?”
I winked at Ashley, then slid into the booth across from Jax and her daughter. “These are for you,” I said and handed the flowers to Ashley.
“I love them!” Ashley exclaimed, burying her face in the small bouquet I had picked up at Schmick’s Market.
Never in my wildest imagination did I think I’d date a woman with a kid. Not in a million years. But when Jax showed up nearly a month ago at my door and asked if she could walk around the tree farm, I was interested. We hit it off immediately, and she even laughed at my sad attempts at flirting.
The second time she showed up, I decided it was time to move on from my past. As hard as it was to admit that things were over with me and Abby, I knew I needed to. I had thought about calling her right after I came back from Boston. Even had her name pulled up on my phone…but then I stopped myself. A part of me was afraid a guy would answer, or that Abby would be upset that I’d ignored her all those times she’d
tried to call or text.
I was positive she had moved on, and it was time I did the same.
So, I’d taken a deep breath and asked Jax out. She’d informed me right away that she was a single mom with a ten-year-old daughter. Apparently, that was something she always did right off the bat. She’d learned it was easier to have a guy make up his mind about dating her sooner rather than later after he found out she had a kid.
Strangely enough, it didn’t scare me off. If anything, Jax appealed to me even more now. We had gone out on three dates so far, all dinner dates and all with Ashley.
Tonight was going to be our first night out alone. I wasn’t going to lie; part of me wanted to have Ashley come along. Why, I wasn’t sure, and I really didn’t want to think too hard on it.
“Are you excited about your date with Mommy tonight? She said you were going to dinner, then watching a movie,” Ashley said.
My gaze lifted to Jax. She smiled and her cheeks blushed slightly. It was cute. It didn’t make my heart flutter or my stomach drop with anticipation, but I liked it. “I am excited. Are you excited to hang out with your grammy?”
Ashley giggled. “Yes! She got here this morning.”
Jax’s mother was in town to help her watch Ashley. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be staying in Boggy Creek while she did her research, so having her mom here from Boston was going to be a huge help.
“I’m sure you’re going to have a lot of fun with her,” I said to Ashley as she wiggled and jumped in her seat.
Jax smiled. “She’s more than excited. Grammy gives her lots of yummy foods. Stuff Mom doesn’t let you have, huh?”
Another giggle and nod from Ashley.
“What time should I pick you up?” I asked Jax. It was at that moment I saw Greer and Arabella on the other side of the restaurant—and both of them were staring at me like something was wrong. I smiled and nodded at them.
Greer moved toward our booth. “I don’t think we’ve met your friends,” she said as Arabella walked up and joined her.
I cleared my throat. It wasn’t like I thought Greer and Arabella wouldn’t be okay with me moving on. It felt awkward, though, introducing them to Jax and Ashley. Abby and Greer had been Arabella’s best friends. But they were my friends, as well, and I was pretty sure they’d be okay with me dating again. Hell, the fact that I’d slept with other women after Abby wasn’t exactly a secret.
She's the One (Boggy Creek Valley Book 3) Page 4