She was the one who left you, remember that.
I focused on making my voice as cold and distant as I could. “What brings you back to Boggy Creek, Abby?”
The small smile faded, and she took a step back while I walked up the steps. “I tried calling you.”
I passed her and headed to the front door, trying like hell to ignore the scent of roses and vanilla coming from her. Opening the door, I said, “I’ve been busy. Opening day isn’t that far off.”
When she didn’t say anything, I looked back at her.
She was looking out over the hills and quickly wiped away a tear. I felt like an asshole, but at the same time, I was so fucking pissed off. Why, of all times, did she have to show up now? When I was finally fucking ready to move on?
Or was I?
“It’s cold, and you don’t even have a coat on. Come inside,” I said, letting the screen door slam behind me.
It took a few moments before I heard the squeak of the door and then a soft click.
I took off my coat and tossed it onto a chair as I made my way through the house and into the kitchen. The sound of Abby’s boots on the wood floors told me she was walking slowly behind me.
Without thinking, I glanced back. She was looking around, her mouth pressed into a tight line with her hand over her stomach. For a moment, I felt a rush of sickness as I thought about what Ken had said. How his sister would hold her stomach.
Turning my head around, I tried not to let my breathing pick up. What if Abby was here to tell me she was with someone? That she was pregnant again?
Fresh anger filled my veins, and I nearly jerked the door off the refrigerator. I grabbed a beer, shut the door, and popped the lid with the bottle opener that was on the side of the island. I didn’t even care that it was only nine in the goddamn morning.
“Whatever you’re here to tell me, just do it and get it over with,” I said.
Hurt and something like regret washed over her face. “I’m, um…not here to tell you anything. Well, I mean, I am. I…I…did want to talk you.” A nervous laugh slipped out from those soft pink lips of hers, and I let my gaze drop to her mouth. I quickly looked back up into her hazel eyes. That was another fucking mistake. They looked red, as if she’d been crying more than just the few tears I’d already noticed.
“Do you want a beer?” I asked.
Her brows lifted some and she glanced at the clock on the wall. Turning back to me, she nodded. “Yeah. A beer would be great.”
When I turned away from her, I closed my eyes and let out a relieved breath. If she was pregnant, she wouldn’t be drinking beer.
Once I’d opened it for her, I handed it over and motioned for her to sit on one of the kitchen island chairs.
She stared at the beer, then glanced around the kitchen. She took a long pull from the bottle before her gaze met mine.
On a frustrated exhale, I said, “I’m kind of busy, Abby. I have a lot of work to do, and I’ve got plans later.”
She swallowed hard, and I noticed her hand shook when she lifted her beer again and took a smaller drink. She set it down, then cleared her throat. “I went over this in my mind for so long, and now I don’t really know where to start.”
“How about you tell me why now? Why the fuck now have you come back when I’ve finally moved on?”
Her eyes went wide as saucers. “M-moved on?”
I let out a laugh that sounded evil. “Don’t play fucking games. You never were good at it. Who told you? Crystal? Pete? Arabella or Greer?”
“Told me what, Bishop?”
I slammed the beer bottle onto the counter so hard, I was honestly surprised it didn’t break. “Don’t act stupid!”
She jumped, then swiftly stood. “What do you want me to say?” Her voice cracked as she fought to hold back more tears.
I frowned. “You don’t know about Jax?”
The way her head jerked back, you’d have thought I slapped her. “Not until yesterday, when I saw Greer and Arabella and told them I came back to tell you…” Her voice trailed off.
“What was so important you had to come back to Boggy Creek to tell me? Did you meet someone, Abby? Are you engaged?” I felt the anger building more and more, and with it, my voice grew louder. “Or, I don’t know, maybe you’re fucking someone and felt guilty because you didn’t give two shits about your husband when you ran away like a goddamn coward? Is that what you came back to tell me?”
She wiped at her tears. “Stop it, Bishop. I know you’re angry with me, and you have every right to be, but please don’t be cruel.”
I let out a bark of laughter. “Cruel? Do you want to know what’s cruel, Abby? Your wife lying to you. Telling you she loves you and will never leave. Withdrawing from you when all you wanted to do was protect her, love her. Take care of her.”
Tears streamed down her face while I spoke. Something inside of me broke, and I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out.
“Cruel is having the only woman you’ve ever loved leave you and divorce you for no fucking reason. Cruel is calling and texting and begging for some sort of explanation, only to have you tell me you can’t talk, or start crying and still not give me any goddamn answers! Don’t talk to me about being cruel, Abby!”
Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to hold back her sobs. After a few moments, she took in a few shaky breaths. “I know…I know I hurt you, and I’m so sorry, Bishop. God, I’m so sorry! I never meant to hurt you so much. I was just…I was so scared and confused. It was a mistake, I know that. I’m so sorry I left!”
“Your sorry is a little too late, Abby.” Her head snapped up and our eyes met. God, I had the urge to pull her to me, even though I wanted to push her out the door at the same time. I sighed deeply. “You don’t have to feel guilty, Abs. Go on back to whoever you’re with now and just forget about me and Boggy Creek.”
More hurt spread over her face. “I’m not with anyone, and I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
Her unexpected confession caused me to stagger back a few steps. I tried to speak, but it felt like someone had punched me in the throat, the chest, and the stomach all at the same fucking time. I couldn’t breathe; my heart felt like someone had reached in and pulled it out, and I suddenly wanted to throw up.
“You…you haven’t dated anyone?” I asked, sounding as confused as I felt.
She swallowed hard. “I tried a couple times to go out on a date, but it never amounted to a second one or anything else.”
My curiosity got the better of me. “Why not?”
Those hazel eyes of hers looked like warmed honey mixed with the soft shades of spring. I could almost see the gold flecks from where I stood as I waited for her answer.
With her gaze never once leaving mine, she whispered, “Because I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to breathe.
“Bishop, I, um…I wanted to talk to you…I mean, tell you why I left and how I wasn’t—”
“No,” I said with as much disdain as I could muster.
Abby looked confused. “No?”
I stared directly into her eyes. “I can’t do this thing—” I motioned between us. “Whatever it is. If you’re back in Boggy Creek to make amends so you can move on with your life…”
“Bishop, I’m not—”
“I’ve got work to do, Abby. You know how busy this time of year gets.” I was done with this conversation.
She nodded. “O-okay. Maybe we could meet for dinner tonight?”
The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. “I’m having dinner with Jax tonight at her place.”
The look of hurt that crossed over Abby’s face nearly brought me to my fucking knees. My words were meant to hurt her, and I had succeeded. In doing so, I felt like the biggest asshole on Earth.
With a slow nod, Abby looked around the house and rubbed her fingers over her lips. When she finally looked back at me, I could se
e tears building again in those beautiful eyes I’d once gotten so lost in.
If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose myself in them again.
She cleared her throat quietly. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Bishop. And…just so you know…I’ve moved back to Boggy Creek for good.”
When I didn’t say anything, she turned and headed out of the kitchen and through the house. I balled my fists up tightly as I forced myself to stay exactly where I was, letting her walk away from me.
The click of the front door drifted softly through the house, and I finally let out a breath.
I picked up my beer bottle and threw it down against the floor. I stumbled back and hit a wall, slowly sliding down until my ass hit the ground.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, staring at nothing. My mind replayed everything that had happened moments ago. Or had it been hours ago? It felt like I had been on the floor for an eternity.
Dropping my head back against the wall, I took in a long, deep breath and then slowly let it out. The only thing I kept seeing was that look on Abby’s face. I’d wanted so desperately to hurt her like she had hurt me. In my mind, I’d always thought I’d feel better if I ever got the chance to make her feel a little of what I’d felt for the past two years. How fucking wrong I’d been.
I closed my eyes and ignored the tears that fell freely down my face.
Abby
I watched as the river meandered along Boggy Creek Valley like it was answering a call in the distance. I felt like that river. Running to—yet away—from something I had never truly been able to pinpoint.
With my knees pulled up to my chest, I rested my chin on them and closed my eyes, taking in the sounds of the rushing water, the birds singing, and the wind blowing gently through the trees. I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been sitting there. Two, maybe three hours. I had left Bishop’s house and couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.
I also wasn’t sure what I’d expected earlier when I saw him. I knew he’d be angry and hurt. I had expected that. When he’d admitted to being with Jax, it had been a blow, but one I knew was coming. One I deserved. But nonetheless, the pain felt like someone had stabbed my heart with a knife. And the worse thing was, it kept coming. Over and over again until I wanted to scream for it to go away.
“What did you expect would happen, Abby?” I asked out loud.
“I thought I might find you here, but I hadn’t planned on you talking to yourself.”
Looking over my shoulder, I gasped and jumped up. “Aiden!”
I ran to him, and he caught me up in his arms and hugged me. “Hey, Abby.”
“How did you know I was here? In town, I mean?”
He smiled, then motioned for us to sit back down.
“I got a call from Arabella when she wasn’t able to get ahold of you. She said you went to talk to Bishop this morning, and she was worried about you.”
I let out a soft laugh and sat down again. “She’s always had such a kind heart.”
He nodded, looking out over the river.
Facing him, I asked, “What made you come here?”
Aiden met my gaze. “Our senior year of high school. You and Bishop had gotten in that huge fight—I don’t even remember what it was about, to be honest with you. You drove off upset. Arabella asked Hunter and me to follow you. We did, and you came here. We must have sat in that group of trees for hours, while you sat here and just stared at the river. Hunter thought you’d do something stupid, so we stayed until you left.”
Smiling, I shook my head. “I never knew you guys followed me. That was sweet of you both.”
He shrugged. “It was Hunter who drove us. I complained the entire time that you were old enough to take care of yourself, and it should have been Bishop, not us, making sure you were okay. But Hunter would have jumped over the moon if Arabella had asked him to.”
My smile faded, and I looked back over the river. Sighing, I couldn’t help but wonder why life was so fucked up.
“Want to talk about it?” Aiden asked. “I hope you’re not upset with Arabella, but…she told me about the baby.”
I felt that familiar pang in my chest, but noticed it seemed to be easing up some.
“I don’t know if you know this, Abby, but when I came back home after the Navy, I was in a pretty bad place. I suffered from PTSD, had some pretty wicked nightmares, and was in complete denial. If it hadn’t been for Willa…”
His voice trailed off, and I turned to look at him. “I can’t believe you two are married and expecting a baby. The girls filled me in last night.”
A brilliant smile lit up Aiden’s face. “She saved me, Abby. When I didn’t want to fight, she fought for me.”
Drawing my knees back up to my chest, I rested my chin on them again. “I’m so glad you found happiness, and Willa too. You both deserve it.”
He grinned like a man who was completely and utterly in love. “I started a business with one of the police officers in town.”
“Really? Who?”
“Mitch Hathaway. He was also a former Navy SEAL. We mainly offer counseling to those who suffer from PTSD, but we also have folks who come in to talk about other things. Abuse, addiction, loss.”
I looked back over the landscape. “I came back to town to stop running from my past and to give Bishop the answers he deserved. Plus, I was miserable as hell.”
“You still love him?” Aiden asked.
A single tear slipped down my cheek. “I’ve never stopped.”
“Why did you leave?”
I sighed. “I was a coward, if we want to get right to the bones of it. At the time, I didn’t know how to talk to Bishop about my fears and feelings after we lost the baby. He kept talking about trying again, and honestly, I couldn’t even imagine being pregnant again. The thought terrified me. I ran because I thought I couldn’t give Bishop what he wanted. I couldn’t see through my grief that Bishop was also just as lost. I don’t know, Aiden. I think I might have had some kind of nervous breakdown. I couldn’t see straight…if that makes sense.”
“It does. Do you see straight now?” Aiden asked.
“I don’t know what I see anymore,” I answered with a dull laugh. “It doesn’t matter anyway; Bishop’s moved on. He’s dating this woman who has a little girl, and he made it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with me.” “So you’re just going to give up?”
I lifted my head and glanced at him. “Give up?”
He nodded.
“What do I have to give up? I already pushed Bishop so far away he’s no longer mine to fight for.”
Aiden laughed and shook his head. “You are so far off the mark with that, Abby, it’s unreal.”
I swung my body around and faced him, crisscrossing my legs. “Am I?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t here when you left, but Hunter told me how distraught Bishop was.” I looked away, and he reached for my hand. “Wait, I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty. I’m sure you’re already carrying around enough guilt. You need to let it go before you move on. Forgive yourself, Abby, then work on winning back the man you love.”
“You didn’t see him this morning, Aiden. He was so angry, and I expected that. But he also made it clear he was seeing someone. His words were hurtful, and he meant for them to be.”
“He’s hurting, so he wanted to hurt you.”
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “He can’t possibly hurt me any more than I’ve already hurt myself by walking away from him. I only wanted to tell him why, to explain. If he doesn’t want me back, then I’ll accept it. But I need to tell him before I even can move forward and forgive myself.”
“Do you want to watch Bishop make a life with someone else?”
Pressing my lips together tightly, I slowly shook my head.
“Then fight for him, Abby! If he doesn’t listen to you today, go back to him tomorrow. Then the next day, and the next, until he lets you talk.”
“What happens if he does finally let me talk to him, and
he still asks me to leave?”
“That depends on you, Abby.”
“Me? If he doesn’t love me anymore, Aiden, then nothing I do or say is going to change that.”
He laughed. “That’s where you have it wrong. Bishop is just as much in love with you today as he was two years ago. Or five years ago. Hell, the day he asked you to marry him. Give him time, Abby. Give him time to take it all in, and when his anger lessens some, talk to him. Tell him what you need to say. If he pushes you away, then fight. Show him he doesn’t really want this other woman.”
My chin trembled, and I groaned when more tears slipped free. Wiping them away, I fought to speak clearly. “And if you’re wrong, and he does want her?”
Aiden’s eyes softened and his expression morphed into one of understanding. “You don’t run away again. You surround yourself with your family and friends. As hard as it’ll be, you’ll try and move on too.”
I reached for his arm and squeezed it. “Thank you for coming and finding me.”
“That’s what friends are for. If you need to talk to anyone, I can set it up.”
“I’ve actually already got an appointment with a therapist, but thank you, Aiden.”
He stood and reached for my hands. “Come on, let’s go get some honey biscuits from Arabella and put her mind at ease.”
Smiling, I let Aiden help me up. We walked to our vehicles, Aiden’s arm around me. It was the first time in months that I truly felt myself smile on the inside as well as the outside.
Standing in the middle of the field, I took in the rows and rows of lavender plants.
“They’re thriving, just like you said they would.”
I spun around and placed a hand over my heart. “Daddy, you scared me.”
My father leaned down and picked up something off the ground, looking at it before he met my gaze. “Are you really staying for good, like you told your mother?”
“Yes. I made an appointment with a realtor to go look at rentals.”
She's the One (Boggy Creek Valley Book 3) Page 8