by Fox, Lizzie
“God yes…” she rutted against my hand rhythmically. My dick was tingling and aching, needing release, as I felt her get wetter and wetter by the moment. I thrummed so hard with desire I was about to tense and explode.
“Fuck, Jessalie—get these off,” I demanded with a small groan, and in no time at all she scrambled off my lap, pushing them down to her ankles. She stepped out of them, straddling my lap once more. With a gentle shove, I was urged backward until I sat upright against the headboard, and she took my hard length in her hand, making me groan so loudly I hoped I hadn’t been heard across the hallway—and if I did, who cared? —positioning me against her opening. She gently slid her tight, hot channel down and over me until she was completely full. Pure desire surged through me as I tensed; she moaned and panted until properly stretched—and then she began to rock her hips.
“Goddamn, honey…” I wasn’t going to last very long at this rate, but I didn’t think she was either.
Our hands roamed and roved over one another, and we interrupted thrusts for deep kisses as her nails dug into the skin of my shoulders. Being a cutter, I was a bit of a masochist. Don’t know if that was surprising or not, but the little bit of pain made my breath hitch and eyes clench shut. I was nearly about to explode, and knowing Jessie still needed a bit of work, I slid my hand between us and rubbed her clit while she fucked my dick and hand. Her hands dug into my shoulders as she moaned, her breath came faster, and I felt her clench tightly around me as she cried out and came undone.
Her pleasure was enough to drive mine out, as my balls tightened, and I released with a loud groan, pulsing inside her as I gasped for air.
“Holy shit…” I managed to croak out as she slumped against me; her skin hot and wet with perspiration.
“No kidding,” she agreed between breaths, and I felt her chest rise and fall in time with mine. She brushed a hand through my hair, pushing it out of my eyes and carefully crawled off me, resting her head in the crook of my shoulder and draping an arm over my stomach while she peered up at me. “God, I know you weren’t like gone, but I’ve gotten so used to being around you for most of the day, it was weird being without you.” She was still breathless as she peered up at me with a heavy expression of love and adoration and a small smile on her pretty face. I wrapped my arms around her, frowning slightly even though I struggled to keep my eyes open at that point.
“I was just in the next room, Jess. I wasn’t gone,” I reminded her, and she smiled and shrugged wryly.
“Yeah, but…I can’t be involved with that like I can with the guys. It was… weird.” She turned her head, her hair brushing over my skin and she nestled into my shoulder.
“Whoa…hey.” I sat up slowly, careful not to jostle her much. With my fingers, I urged her by the cheek to face me, and I was surprised to see a tortured look marring her expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Babe… you’re going to be big,” she confessed in a small voice. “I just know it.”
I snorted and shook my head. “Oh, come on. It’s just a song. Or two. Everyone will forget about me after a bit no matter what.”
She shook her head vehemently. “No… you don’t get how damned good you are, do you? You’re like…magic on a stage, without knowing a single trick.”
My cheeks flushed. “Oh, come on.”
“No, why do you think I was so drawn to you? You probably could have picked any woman in that audience and won her over with just a look like you did me,” Jessie said, tracing absentminded circles on my chest. “You just have… something. Miles wouldn’t have picked you otherwise, you know.”
“Just lucky, I guess,” I said with a slight shrug. “But… wait. You’re worried that I’ll be leaving you out if I get big, is that what you mean?”
“No…” Her tone was unconvincing. “I just don’t want to hold you back.”
“That would never happen. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here at all. I mean that, Jessalie Reynolds-soon-to-be-Archer,” I insisted with a grin. “You could never hold me back. You hold me up when I feel like falling. You keep me strong, so I don’t crumble. Hold me back?” I laughed shortly. “You could never, because anywhere I go, you come with. Even if I became the biggest star in the world, you’ll be there—if you want, that is—on every plane, every tour bus, every show. If they don’t let you there, I don’t go. Just as simple as that.”
Slowly, she beamed. “Really?”
“Yeah. So don’t worry about it. Or try not to, anyway,” I said, sliding my hand down her arm, finding hers and pulling it to my lips, gently kissing her diamond engagement ring as she blushed. “I’m never leaving you behind. Ever.”
Nodding slowly, she stretched to place a tender kiss on my mouth, leaving hers there for a couple of moments, like she was afraid that by pulling away I’d be gone. “I love you so much, you know that?”
My heartstrings tugged at her words, and I reached for her as she slid out of bed. With a light giggle, she said she was going to the bathroom really quick, and I lay back all the way, my arms listless at my sides.
I meant what I said; I would never leave her. No matter how big I could become—that’s not what I wanted.
You could be huge. You won’t want to be, but you could be. And that’s why I picked you.
Dream-Blake was right. It didn’t matter if it was real, or not. Fame meant nothing to me. All I ever wanted was to find someone who loved me—all of me. The good, the bad, and the very, very ugly. Someone to find the little bit of light that was inside amidst the dark and the shadows. To see the stars instead of just the night.
I wanted someone to see me. The real me, and not my disorder.
I didn’t grow up with dreams of being a big star. I just wanted to play music and have my very small place in the world somewhere where I felt safe and could provide that for someone else. That was all I needed.
So…no. I would never be “huge,” because I didn’t want it. Jessie was right; it was very strange being apart and not having her involved with the music. The band was better now for having her influence, no matter how small she thought her role was. And I didn’t care what Anthony or Sabrina said. I wasn’t going anywhere without them. Jessie was my life, and my family and the guys had become my brothers—even Shane, and Christi and Sabrina were like sisters as well.
You didn’t leave family behind. I knew the situation was different, but I wouldn’t be my mother, who abandoned us for her latest addiction, or my father, who was never there to begin with. And no matter what, I’d never let Jessie fear that I’d leave—ever.
The bed shifted, and I felt Jessie’s warm body sidle up next to me, pulling the bed’s comforter along with her. I opened my sleepy eyes, noticing she’d washed off most of her makeup; only a little trace of liner smudged around her eyes, and her hair was gathered into a ponytail that she always wore to bed. Like she usually did, she flung a leg over mine, draped her arm over my chest and laid her head on my pec. She seemed to sigh a little, and I was about to question her when we heard a loud whoop and holler from what I assumed was probably Miles’ suite. I laughed gently; Miles was every bit the typical rock star who loved women and partying. I got the sense that he grew up living a very charmed life, unlike Jessie or me.
“Sad you’re missing it?” Jessie asked, looking up at me expectantly.
I shook my head. “Nope. Not at all. Nowhere I’d rather be right now than here with you.” I kissed her forehead and snuggled into her, melting against her body, meaning exactly what I said. She sighed contentedly, and I watched her drift off to sleep, feeling overwhelmed that she was here with me, now. There was no place I’d rather be.
23
Jessalie
Today was Seth’s first full day of recording with Miles, and true to his word, I was booked for an entire spa day. While I’d rather be with Seth, I couldn’t deny that this was quite damned nice. I’d been scrubbed, massaged, oiled, waxed, smoothed down, and feeling pretty damned good. The complimentary cham
pagne offered with all of it sort of helped that as well, and at around 4 PM or so, I was feeling damn good.
I knew I should have resisted the liquid “courage” but… it was offered so freely. And I felt completely out of my element. The entire day I passed all sorts of women with designer clothing or fancy jewelry that made my engagement ring look like a tiny bauble—and honestly, my ring wasn’t small at all. It was a decent size; Shane said about a carat and a quarter with all the accent stones on the band. Plus the actual band itself which I wasn’t yet wearing. I didn’t feel ashamed at all, just intimidated; these women were high class. Like Caia. I felt like I was just a cheeseburger and fry type of girl in an escargot type world.
Shane would say to that one, “Well, who doesn’t love a cheeseburger? No one really likes escargot, but people just pretend to be snooty.” I could actually picture him saying that, and it made me smirk. And it did make me feel better, until I was laying out on a lounge chair on the poolside balcony outside of the spa, with an umbrella overhead, an umbrella drink in hand, and the surprisingly warm Wisconsin sun beating down on my legs. It had to be in the upper eighties today, with puffy clouds in the bright blue sky and not a trace of humidity. It was nice, and I didn’t even mind sitting out here in a bikini and sunglasses. I hadn’t even had a swimsuit coming here, but after seeing the pool I had to purchase one in the gift shop. It was a pretty teal blue with rhinestones on the bust, a halter tie, and a bottom that was a bit higher waisted but enhanced my curves. I’d hate to see the bill for it when I left, but I reasoned its purchase saying that I could wear it to Florida. And, Seth would probably like it.
The weather was nice but I felt out of place, watching a group of boisterous and probably pretty drunk bachelorettes either at their party or getting ready for an upcoming wedding—after all, July was high time for wedding season, especially in the Midwest. They laughed and joked so easily, clinking glasses together and talking animatedly, it made me sort of…wistful. I never had a group of friends like that. Everyone in Independence Point was the closest I’d ever come.
It also made me a bit bummed knowing that Victoria wouldn’t be there for the wedding, or Kieran. I understood. They both worked and couldn’t take time off on such short notice, but it was still a bit of a downer. As much as I adored Shane—and I did—it still sort of felt like the guys were all Seth’s people, and I had no one. Which wasn’t fair because Shane had no hesitations referring to me as his best friend. And I suddenly wished he was here; he would have loved this spa day. Maybe I’d bring him back after the wedding as a thank you.
“Speaking of…” I muttered, hearing my phone buzz on the glass table beside me. I slid my sunglasses down my nose so I could see the phone’s display better. I smiled to myself; it wasn’t Shane, but Seth.
Seth: How is it going, honey? You having fun?
Yeah, it was a good day. Sitting out at the pool now.
Seth: Pool? There’s a pool?
Outside of the spa, yeah.
Seth:…are you naked or something? You don’t have a swimsuit.
I chuckled under my breath, looking up from my texting to make sure no one heard me. Of course, the noisy bachelorettes were too into themselves to notice me. Just as well.
I bought one, silly. It was expensive but oh well. It fits good so I figured why not?
Seth: Can I see it? ;)
In Florida, sure.
Seth: Aww, come on. Please?
Reluctantly, I did something I didn’t normally do; I took a selfie. I could only get my top half in it since my arms were short—I never really did master the art of taking one—and I sent it on to him.
Seth: Holy shit you’re so hot. Money fucking well spent.
I blushed, reading his message. It cost $180. I don’t know about that.
Seth: I do. Now I really wish we were done so I could come see the rest of it.
Frowning, I checked the clock display; it neared 5 PM. It’s getting late, though? You still have more recording? Is it not going well?
Seth: Actually the opposite it’s going really well. Part of the reason I’m texting you is because we’re going to be later than I thought. Miles thinks if we can finish “Dust” today, we can get most of the other one tomorrow and maybe even fit in time to record shots for a video.
My mouth dropped open. Are you serious? A real music video!?
Seth: I guess so, yeah. I don’t really want to be in one, but he says it’ll help boost interest. I’m not an actor but he said all I have to do is be on a stage and sing. The editing department will do the rest.
I bet you’ll be just fine, baby. <3
Seth: Don’t know about that. I’d be better if you were here.
That’s sweet. I wish I was too.
There was a pause in the messages. Seth: Honey I have to go. It might be close to say, 9 before I get back to the suite. Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?
Another four hours? I thought in disappointment to myself. At that point he will have been recording for twelve hours. Damn. But, what could I do? This was a huge opportunity for him, and just because I was a bit lonely and missing him wasn’t a good enough reason to guilt him out of recording, even late.
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Plenty to do. Maybe I’ll go to the bookstore down the road.
Seth: Miles just said order whatever food you want or eat whatever is in the cabinets; it’s on him.
Well that’s nice of him, I replied, feeling slightly bitter. Thankfully Seth couldn’t sense that.
Seth: Got to go. I’ll see you in a few hours. Text me if you need anything or you get lonely. I’ll do my best to get out of here ASAP.
Okay. Have fun!
Seth: I am! Love you
Love you too.
Sighing with disappointment, I set the phone back on the table and retrieved my fruity drink. It’d started to melt, and the little tipsy feeling I’d been feeling had started to fade. I sipped the melted liquid quickly through the straw, enjoying the warmth spreading through my extremities, mixing with the heat of the summer sun above. I made a loud slurping sound accidentally, not realizing it was empty, but it seemed to catch the attention of a nearby server, wearing khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt.
“Jessie Archer?” The young man inquired uncertainly, and I peered at him questioningly over my glasses, blushing slightly hearing Seth’s surname mixed with mine.
“Umm…” I stammered, not sure what to say. Do I correct him, since we weren’t there yet? Did it matter? How did he even get that name?
“You’re here as a guest of Miles Madison?” He reiterated, and I nodded hesitantly.
“Guess so, yeah,” I replied. That probably explained it. “Reynolds” was probably too hard to remember, I thought sarcastically.
He was carrying a leather-bound book, and he handed it to me. “Mr. Madison said order anything from here, and all drinks are on him too. Can I get you another one of these, Ms. Archer?”
I shivered, the name giving me a slight thrill. Mrs. Archer…wow this is really happening, isn’t it? I knew I was grinning rather stupidly when I took the menu, and the server gave me a strange and impatient look.
Really, I hadn’t wanted to drink anymore, but since damn Miles Madison was going to be keeping my fiancé longer, I figured—what the hell?
“Yes, actually. I’d love another. This one was a little weak, can you tell the bartender that, please?” I asked, with what I hoped was a pleasant smile.
He nodded slightly. “Sure thing. I’ll go get that drink, and I’ll be back for your order. Is that okay, Ms. Archer?”
Biting my smirk, I nodded. “Yep. Just fine.”
“Very good.” With a polite bob of his head, he turned back for the bar across the courtyard, and chuckling quietly to myself, I opened up the large menu. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw the prices of the food. Rich or not, I felt guilty having Miles spending this sort of money on me—just for one day.
My phone buzzed a
gain. I set the menu in my lap and reached for it.
Seth: Actually we might be a bit later than 9 after all. I’m sorry.
Frowning severely, I clenched my eyes shut and took a deep breath. This is for Seth… this is for Seth…this is for Seth…
Suddenly, I didn’t have any further negative inclinations spending Miles’ money. When the server returned with a brand-new drink, I smiled sweetly at him. “Keep those coming, please. And I’ll take the roasted chicken, potatoes, and vegetables. With the chocolate cheesecake for dessert.” Just the cheesecake alone was around twenty bucks. Haha.
“Very good, Ms. Archer. Can I take that or are you still looking?” He asked, motioning to the menu.
“Oh, I’m not done. Can I keep this for later? I might be here a while,” I said, and he nodded in affirmation. “And do you know where I can find a robe? I changed here, and I want to go back to my room to get a book or something.”
“I can get one for you. I’ll be back with that for you.”
“Thanks.” Smugly, I took the drink in hand and took a long sip. The tequila burned easily down my throat, and it was nearly euphoric and instrumental in helping push away the feelings of frustration and a little resentment I was beginning to form for Miles. It was stupid—so stupid. But… a music video? This was going to be so much exposure for Seth. More exposure meant more beautiful women fawning over him. The thought made me slightly nervous. I knew he said he didn’t care about them and he didn’t see them but… Miles clearly did notice them. Could some of that attitude wipe off of him and onto Seth?
No, of course not…you’re being ridiculous. Seth loves you—you know that.
But… was I? If these recordings were successful, Seth could be huge. He could go on tour with Miles, or maybe even a solo gig. I hated to think he’d leave the guys, but I knew that if Seth had the opportunity to make it big, they would have no hesitations in letting him go, with their blessings. They’d tell him to go for it. Why? Because they had families and couldn’t be torn away. Seth had… well me. It’d be easy to leave me for weeks at a time for various tours and performances… living out of hotels… groupies everywhere.