The Two Leaders

by Kugane Maruyama

  This had happened several times before, so it was no surprise.

  “All right, boss lady, please head on back.”

  If he was going to put it like that, she had no choice but to obey.

  “Okay, thanks, then.”

  With one eye on Enri’s receding figure, Kaijari gave Nfirea a cold look. “What do ya think yer doing? Don’t ya know women only pay attention to men talking about their hobbies when they like them? If a man talks about his hobbies with a woman who’s not in love with him, it drives her away!”

  “…Sorry. It’s just that this amazing thing happened, so… I mean, it’s so amazing! Groundbreaking!”

  Nfirea clearly hadn’t learned his lesson, and Kaijari interrupted with a sigh and a wave of his hand. “Are ya sure yer okay there? Yer in love with the boss lady, right?”

  Nfirea gulped and nodded an emphatic yes.

  “Then prioritize her over yer medicines!”

  “…Okay. I’ll try.”

  “Trying’s not good enough! Ya have to do it! Ya have to get her to fall for ya. We’re with ya all the way. Not only that, but her little sister promised to cooperate, too. Ya need to get it together!”

  “Yeah…”

  “If ya wait for her to say she likes ya, she’ll probably be carried off by some other guy first! Ya need the courage to speak up!”

  Nfirea felt like a sharp knife had plunged into his chest.

  “Well, I’m kinda slammin’ ya, but I know yer doing ya best, boss man. Before, ya could hardly even squeeze out a word, and now ya havin’ conversations on the regular!”

  “Back then, I didn’t get to see her very often. It was only when I came here to gather herbs… I’ve definitely spent more time with her since moving here than all the previous times combined.”

  “That’s the spirit, that’s the spirit. Just keep forging ahead! First, we need to call attention to yer strength. I asked a lady in the village, and sure enough, women fall for strong guys. She was forty-nine, but…”

  “I’m not too confident when it comes to muscles. Should I help out in the fields more?”

  “No, ya have one of these.” Kaijari poked his head to drive the point home. “Fight with that. I was thinking magic might be good, too. But look, when me or one of the others thinks ya have a chance to sell yerself, we’ll pose like this. When we do that, say or do something that’ll make her fall for ya.” Kaijari struck a pose that showed off his bulging biceps. “This, got it? Then if we think ya should keep pushing, we’ll pose like this.” Next, he showed off his chest. The goblin was small but had the sturdy body of a warrior.

  Why the poses? Nfirea thought, but he could see they meant well, so he couldn’t bring himself to wonder aloud. He did have to ask one thing, though. “So hey, why are you guys doing this for me? I know you’re devoted to Enri, but I can’t figure out your motive for helping me.”

  “What a basic question,” Kaijari answered in exasperation and continued in a clear, slow manner that others might use to explain something to a small child. “We want the boss lady to be happy! From that point of view, yer the goal. So ya guys need to get married as soon as possible!”

  “We don’t have to rush, though! We could just gradually grow closer…you know?”

  “…That’ll be too late. It takes time from when a human gets pregnant till when they have the baby, right?”

  When the conversation reached what was arguably the ultimate form of heterosexual relations, Nfirea blinked a few times, and his face reddened slightly. “Yeah. I guess it takes about nine months.”

  “So then ya won’t have enough time to have fourteen—I mean, ten.”

  “Ten?! I think that’s a bit much!”

  The average number of children for a farmer was five. In rough environments where it was expected that some wouldn’t make it to adulthood, the average rose a little, while in places where priests could heal the sick or in the city where contraceptives were available, it decreased slightly.

  For one woman to have ten children was a bit much.

  “What’re ya talking about? For a goblin, that’s normal!”

  “We’re not goblins!”

  “Well, there might be some difference between races, but ya want her to have lots of babies and be happy, right?”

  “…I can’t say for sure that having lots of babies wouldn’t make her happy, but something feels off…”

  “Hmm.”

  Kaijari had cocked his head, but Nfirea didn’t feel like responding. Overall, he was grateful for their support.

  “Okay, let’s go. For now, I’d like ya to make some kind of move, at least. If ya end up too much like family, it’ll be hard to take things to the next level… But, well, that might be the slow route.”

  “Where do you guys come up with all this?” Nfirea shook his head. “Hey, Grandma, I’m going to Enri’s for breakfast. Are you coming?”

  A declining voice answered his call into the house.

  She would probably be experimenting the whole time. Stopping to eat would be a waste.

  He understood her feelings to a painful degree.

  The various alchemical items and instruments in this house were all highly advanced—the correct way to use most of them completely eluded the pair. A maid serving the caster Ainz Ooal Gown had delivered the tools, saying he and his grandma should use them to make new potions and alchemical items. She also brought other things, like a legendary herb purported to heal any and all ailments.

  When they asked how to use the solutions, other materials, and unfamiliar instruments, the maid only said, “Think for yourselves!” so they were left with no clue how to proceed.

  That’s why they had been working without anything that even bore a passing resemblance to a break, conducting every kind of experiment they could think of—they were sure they were making progress, even if each step forward was slow, and even if they sometimes encountered major setbacks.

  It had probably been the most intense two months of Nfirea’s life, naturally, but also Lizzy’s.

  The final fruit of that labor was a purple potion on the table, which completely absorbed Lizzy’s attention and caused Nfirea to lose himself in the excitement.

  “I’ll go get some for you, then, Grandma.” Having said that, Nfirea closed the door and turned to Kaijari. “Shall we go?”

  Even if they wanted to wait until everyone arrived to start eating, Enri’s house wasn’t big enough to hold them all. For that reason, if the weather was cooperative, they took their meals outdoors. Doing it this way meant that a bit of a ruckus was tolerable, too. If everyone had been inside, Enri’s patience would have dried up sooner. Still, it was too loud.

  “So this is what I’m saying—boss lady’s gonna be my wife!”

  “Hey, did ya forget our agreement that ya wouldn’t aim for her?!”

  “Yeah! If yer gonna make a move, then so am I!”

  “What?! I’m first!”

  Several goblins kicked aside their chairs and stood up. A few others jumped onto the table.

  Enri held her anger back and called out to them kindly. “Please calm down, everyone!”

  But the fire in the goblins’ eyes wouldn’t be extinguished.

  “Strugglin’ is futile, brothers! This game’s already been decided. Behold this gleaming meat!”

  Enshrined on the spoon one of the goblins, Kuuneru, held aloft was a piece of chicken that at first glance resembled a bean. It was so small that Enri couldn’t be blamed for missing it or not recognizing it as meat while she was trying to serve equal portions.

  “I ate my meat already, but I found more at the bottom of my bowl! Did you guys have any extra meat in yer bowls? You didn’t, did you? In other words, this is love!”

  “Gimme a break! She just mistook it for a bit of vegetable!”

  “Or maybe you’re just imagining things? What you ate before was actually a potato, and the only meat you got was that puny nub. Careful, you might creep her out. Remember, our god s
ays: Thou shalt make Enri happy.”

  “Your god is probably an evil one, Konaa!”

  Half the goblins got up, and the rest cheered and heckled them on from their seats. Nemu was one of the hecklers. A few people remained outside these groups and focused on the table. Nfirea was a prime example.

  “Ruby powder…magic feathers…a pestle made in Tonelico…a mortar…a mo…a mor…?” He was mumbling something vacantly while working his spoon, so as soon as he put soup in his mouth, it returned to his plate. His hair covered his eyes, but his gaze was likely flitting between the real world and a fantasy.

  “Nfi, are you okay?”

  If she didn’t do something about the goblins, she wasn’t sure how heated their argument would get, but Nfirea was acting strange, so she couldn’t leave him alone, either. He probably hadn’t slept in a long time. The moment he had sat down, his focus fractured even more, scattering in every direction. By the time they started eating, he was missing so much vitality and intelligence it was like an undead had joined the table.

  “Yes…kay… Enri…soup…”

  “Whoa, Nfi. Wake up!”

  “Weren’t you the one who was saying, ‘Nemu for life’?!”

  “Things are different now. Nemu is ten and about as tall as us, so I thought she was a young lady… Then I learned that humans apparently aren’t considered adults until they’re fifteen!”

  “Eh?! Are you serious…? So boss lady and the others aren’t hobhumans or something?”

  The goblins’ boisterous conversation moved along quickly. Enri was about to ask what a hobhuman was, but they grew tired of teasing and happened upon a new argument.

  “Ah! You stole my bread!”

  “My wolf is hungry! Don’t be stingy!”

  “Everyone!” Enri raised her voice only to be drowned out by the clamor.

  Spoons and plates flew even as shouts and jeers raged. They were throwing empty dishes, so no food went to waste, but it still wasn’t behavior that she could let slide.

  Enri finally steeled her resolve, furrowed her eyebrows, and inhaled.

  “Pretty sure wolves’re carnivorous! Ya might be higher level, but don’t kid yerself about how you’d fare in a real melee battle!”

  “Very interesting! How about I remind ya what ya had for dinner last night?!”

  The moment Enri leaped to her feet, they all returned to their seats in a single wave of motion and began eating politely.

  “Would you please quiet down?!”

  Her shout reverberated around the silent table.

  “Oh…”

  She looked about blankly. They all wore faces that said, We were just quietly eating breakfast. Something wrong? and You’re disturbing us with your sudden outburst. After a moment of stillness, Enri blushed and sat down heavily.

  “Pft! Ha-ha-ha!”

  The first one to break the silence was Nemu. Then Enri cracked up, holding her stomach, and the goblins practically fell out of their chairs laughing.

  Their timing had been amazing. They had probably planned it all out in detail at a meeting beforehand, maybe even rehearsed. It was hilarious that they would put so much earnest effort into something so silly.

  “Ahh, it’s too funny. Were you all aiming for that from the beginning?” She’d laughed so hard that she was still wiping tears out of the corners of her eyes while she asked, pretending to be annoyed.

  “Of course, boss lady. We’d never make such a big fuss about things like that.”

  “What he said, ma’am!”

  “Quite right, quite right!”

  They bragged and frustrated her line of questioning with their usual jokey grins, not a hint of guilt on their faces. But Enri narrowed her focus to Kaijari and stared at him. He seemed to grow uncomfortable and averted his eyes before mumbling an evasive answer. “Well, I guess, like, ya seemed kind of down this morning, boss lady.”

  “You guys…”

  “After all, we’re yer bodyguards.”

  “That’s right!”

  “Yeah, we’re yer bodyguards!”

  “We even came up with a pose for when we appear on the scene.”

  “Oh yeah, so we put you and Nemu in the middle like this—”

  “What?! Me too?”

  “Of course! Then you raise your arms majestically…like this!”

  Even describing it in the kindest way possible, he seemed like a frog tipped over on its back.

  “Uh, I’ll pass, I think. I don’t really know what you mean by ‘bodyguards’ in the first place… Nfi, don’t you think it’s a little…?” She turned to her old friend for help, but no one was there.

  On a hunch, she lowered her eyes and found him sprawled on the table facedown in his soup.

  “Nfi!” Her face went pale as she shouted and picked him up.

  Konaa rushed over at once and pried the exhausted Nfirea’s eyes open with his fingers. “He’s only sleeping… If we let him sleep till around noon, meh, he’ll be fine.”

  “Nfi… What’ll we do with you?”

  She piggybacked him and set off for a bedroom in her house where she would let him sleep. She could hear voices behind her.

  “Huh? Isn’t it normally the other way around?”

  “Let’s not say anything, Nemu.”

  “Boss man…”

  Once the village harvested the wheat, the tax collector would come to the village.

  Enri wondered how she would explain the goblins.

  Should I just say we summoned them? Maybe I can call them my underlings? Or…

  Enri thought about how they were always being considerate of her.

  They didn’t merely protect her but also understood her feelings. She wondered what she could do for them.

  The goblins were pretty noisy, but they were reliable, too. They were her new family—there had to be something she could do for them…

  Enri wiped the sweat dripping down the nape of her neck with the clean back of her hand as she gathered up the weeds she had pulled out. There were quite a lot, and the crushed grass gave off a green smell.

  After hours out in the field, her sweat-soaked clothes clung to her. She felt gross and tired.

  She stretched her back to refresh her mood.

  Spreading out before her was a field.

  The heads of the wheat plants she’d sown were filling out. As the harvesting season drew closer and closer, the wheat would turn gold. It was quite a sight when the entire field turned completely golden, but before that, she had to perform the chore of weeding. If she didn’t take care of the weeds before then, the color wouldn’t be as fine.

  Now was the time for that suffering.

  Stretching her back helped relieve some tension and stiffness. Her body was warm from working the field, and the breeze blowing past felt great.

  The gust brought something else to her—noise from the village.

  She could hear something being hammered, as well as chants to help teams of laborers focus—all things she had never heard in the village before.

  They were currently working on a variety of different projects.

  The most important was the building of a wall. And a watchtower. It went without saying that this was to further fortify the village.

  Carne was near the Tove Woodlands. The forest was a threatening place where monsters dwelled. It was impossible to live safely near an area like that without sturdy fortifications.

  But their village, with houses lined up on level ground and a square in the middle, didn’t have anything that could be called defenses; anyone could walk right in. Their arrangements had worked fine for a while—because although they were near the woodlands, no monsters came near them.

  That was thanks to the Wise King of the Forest’s territory in the forest. No monsters would traverse its domain, so the villagers were as safe as if they had been protected by an iron wall.

  But that safeguard was undone by human hands.

  Imperial knights had attacked the settlement, ki
lling their loved ones. No one thought they would be safe any longer as they were.

  That was why the goblin leader Jugemu’s proposal to fortify the village—he mentioned they might not be able to protect everyone if they came under attack again—was adopted unanimously. They were still tormented by unforgettable nightmares.

  First, they broke down houses no one was living in anymore and appropriated the wood for the wall. Obviously, that wasn’t enough, so they needed to cut down some trees from the woodlands. If they went deep into the woods, they ran the risk of entering the Wise King of the Forest’s territory, so they skirted along the edge.

  The goblins, naturally, served as their escorts.

  Through all this cooperation, the villagers’ wariness of the goblins virtually disappeared. Perhaps the knights being fellow humans who killed the villagers was a contributing factor. Their own kind had robbed them of their lives and loved ones. In contrast, the goblins, despite being a different race, worked under Enri to help the village. In other words, it wasn’t right to place trust in others based on whether they were from the same race or not.

  Most of all, the goblins were powerful. Goblin warriors posted as lookouts, and even if they got hurt, the goblin cleric Konaa would heal them.

  It was hard to dislike them when they were so nice.

  Thus, in a few short days, the goblins put down roots in the village and became an irreplaceable presence there. One glance at their house was enough to understand. Despite belonging to a different race, they were living in a big new house built for them right near Enri’s.

  The villagers and the goblins worked together on the defense plan, but unfortunately they were short on hands, so at first they’d been able to build only a simple fence.

  It was at precisely that point that the Wise King of the Forest, who had been acting as a breakwater for the village, abandoned its territory to follow a masterful warrior in black armor. Everyone had worked so hard to finish the fence and then had to lament that it would never be enough to keep them safe.

  But now they were protected by a great wall.

  Things had taken a turn for the better when a peerless beauty, who said she was one of the village’s savior Ainz Ooal Gown’s maids, brought some stone golems to their homes.