Josie's Valor

by Peggy L Henderson

  Josie’s arms trembled, making the bouquet she gripped shake. How was she supposed to join hands with Travis while holding the flowers? Someone whispered behind her, and almost immediately, Salita Jane was there to reach for the bouquet. Josie nearly dropped it as she handed it to the girl.

  Travis wrapped his fingers around her hands in a gentle grip. The warmth from his touch was instant and calming, and flowed up her arms and around her heart.

  She dared a glance at his face. The corners of his lips rose in a smile that was meant to be reassuring. Josie’s shoulders dropped and she inhaled freely. With a simple touch and a grateful smile, Travis had conveyed to her without words that he understood her anxiousness. Perhaps that had been the reason for his antics a few moments ago. Josie thanked him silently with a smile of her own.

  Beside her, Anthony spoke, but most of what he said was lost to her until he asked, “Do you, Josephine Hudson, take Travis Wilder as your husband, to honor and cherish until death do you part?”

  She glanced from Travis to Anthony, who raised his brows when she didn’t immediately answer.

  “Yes.”

  Whether the word had left her mouth was questionable, but Anthony appeared to be satisfied when he nodded. In a louder tone, and glancing at the people gathered around them, he announced, “You are now husband and wife.” With a wide smile, he looked at Travis and added, “You may kiss your bride.”

  Josie’s eyes widened. She almost shook her head and her gaze flew back to Travis. Kiss? No one had mentioned anything about kissing him. She had no idea how to kiss a man, nor the desire to do so.

  Travis squeezed her hands, then released one and brought his palm up to slide along her cheek. The touch sent a shiver of pleasure through her. Josie stared into Travis’ eyes. He hesitated for what seemed like forever, then moved his face closer. His breath tickled her cheek as she forgot to inhale.

  Josie’s muscles stiffened. Her heart pounded. Travis held her close with his one hand, burrowing his fingers into her hair. His lips touched hers like a feather caressing her skin, and it was the most exquisite feeling, leaving her longing for more.

  Before she could blink, it was over. People cheered and clapped, and Travis stepped away from her. Her cheek felt cold where his palm had been a second ago, and the urge to grab for his hand and bring it back to touch her again was overwhelming.

  Josie stood rooted to the spot. Her heart had never beat faster, even when . . . She blinked and focused her eyes on Travis. Her heart was beating fast because of him.

  Ada and Loretta pulled her aside to congratulate her again. Josie endured their hugs and the well wishes from many of the other women. A plate of food was shoved into her hand, and she ate without tasting.

  Too many people around gave her no chance to talk to Travis. He was never far away, but talked and laughed with the others. How could he be so relaxed when she was a bundle of nerves?

  When the only light left was the glow of several campfires, most of the families excused themselves to return to their wagons and prepare for bed. Loretta had left for a while to feed her baby. When she returned, Ada reached for Josie’s hand.

  “Come with us,” she commanded, looking at Travis.

  Ada and Loretta exchanged a quick smile, then led the newlyweds away from the main camp. In the near-darkness, a tent had been erected in a secluded spot near the creek. A lantern had been hung on a stick at the entrance, giving off an inviting glow.

  “We thought you two ought to have a private place for your wedding night,” Loretta announced. “Since neither one of you has a wagon.”

  Ada kissed Josie’s cheek. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

  Loretta squeezed her hand. “Remember what I told you.”

  The two women disappeared into the shadows, leaving Josie to stand next to Travis as apprehension raced down her spine.

  Chapter 17

  Travis reached for her. His arms wrapped around her waist to bring her close against his body. Josie didn’t resist. She glanced up at him and smiled softly. The look in her eyes was one of complete trust and contentment.

  How had it happened that she belonged to him? Hadn’t it been just yesterday that she detested him, and he didn’t think he liked her much, either? They’d both completely misunderstood each other. All of that was in the past now.

  Why had he always resisted the idea of getting married and settling down? He had the best of everything now. He had a beautiful wife who was warm and willing in his arms. She was also a friend and partner who enjoyed going out into the woods to hunt and forage. Travis grinned, then lowered his head.

  “I love you, Travis.” Her quietly whispered words brought a groan from his throat.

  She was so sweet and soft in his embrace as their lips met. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him closer. Travis deepened the kiss. He couldn’t get enough of this new feeling. His hold around her tightened. He never wanted to let go.

  She returned his kisses with the same heated urgency as he. His fingers entwined in her hair, and he held her to him while pushing her to the ground.

  Together, they fell onto a bed of soft grass and Travis covered her body with his. She began to squirm beneath him, no longer clinging to him with passion, but struggling for air and to break free. The more he tried to hold her, the harder she fought. She shook her head from side to side and pushed against his chest.

  “Stop it,” she gasped. “Let me go.”

  Travis stared down at her. Her eyes were round with fear. Her reaction was surprising. Didn’t she know he loved her?

  A thick cloud of dust descended over them, and Travis held her close to protect her from the pelting of rocks and debris. He was only trying to keep her safe, but she pushed harder, even using her fist to pound against his chest, until she finally broke free. She ran, and didn’t look back as she disappeared in the thick dust.

  “I love you, Josie. You know I’ll never do anything to hurt you,” he called after her. He tried to get up, but the wind and dust kept him pinned to the ground. “You’re my wife, and you’ll always be safe with me. I’ll always protect you,” he shouted, but she was already too far away to hear him, and the intense storm was too loud for his words to leave his lungs.

  A horse whinnied somewhere close by, and several women spoke over the noise of a hammer clanking against metal. Travis startled. The images of the dust storm and Josie fleeing faded away. He bolted upright, and his blanket fell away from him. He inhaled sharply to bring some air into his lungs, then ran a hand over his damp face. A quick glance to his left confirmed that Josie was no longer in her bedroll next to his.

  His hand trembled as he pushed the blanket off his body and stood. He blinked and squinted into the bright sunlight that indicated it was well past dawn. He should have already been up and about.

  He scrunched his forehead and shook his head to clear his mind. What had started as a pleasant dream had quickly turned into a nightmare. Josie’s nightmare.

  Travis cursed under his breath. His eyes focused more clearly as he glanced around camp. Nothing was different than any other morning had been for the last ten days. His gaze fell to the bedroll beside his. Of course things were different. For ten long nights, Josie had slept beside him to keep up the pretense that they were happily married.

  Sleeping side by side was something they’d agreed to do on their wedding night, since it wouldn’t look right if they continued to sleep in different camps. The look in Josie’s eyes after Loretta and Ada had brought them to the tent the two women had set up for them said all he’d needed to know that they would never be a true married couple.

  After they’d been left alone, Travis had tried to set her mind at ease. It had been all too clear by looking into her fearful eyes what had been going through her head. She’d pulled back when Travis had reached for her hand.

  “This is an unexpected surprise,” he’d said casually, glancing after the retreating women. “It was very . . . thoughtful of them.�
� He’d looked at the tent, then back at Josie. Smiling at her, he’d hoped to make her see that she was safe.

  “I . . . we can’t, Travis. I didn’t agree to this.” Josie’s voice had cracked, exposing her fear even more. Gone was the woman from earlier in the day, when she’d boldly put Eli Dansforth in his place, and taken control of the situation to save his hide.

  Travis had stepped closer. His free hand had touched her arm in what was supposed to have been a reassuring gesture.

  “I know.” He’d spoken in a quiet voice, offering a smile. “And nothing’s going to happen. We have to just pretend, Josie. Like it or not, we’re now married, and it won’t look right if we continue to sleep in separate camps.”

  She’d given a quick nod of her head. She clearly hadn’t thought it through when she’d agreed to marry him. He’d done what he could to convince her that no harm would come from lying next to him at night.

  “All we have to do is go in that tent and go to sleep. I’ve told you that you’re safe from me, and nothing about that has changed.”

  Josie had looked up at him. In the dim light of the lantern her features were difficult to make out except for the worry in her eyes, but she’d smiled and seemed reassured by his words.

  “Get some sleep,” he’d told her once they’d both settled inside the tent and under separate blankets.

  He’d rolled to his side with the intention of getting a good night’s sleep. Lying next to Josie should have been no different than sleeping next to one of his brothers whenever they’d gone out on an extended excursion and camped out in the woods.

  Nothing could have been further from the truth. He hadn’t gotten any sleep that first night. He’d been aware of every move she made under her bedroll and every breath she inhaled. He’d kept his back to her all night, when all he’d wanted to do was reach for her and hold her, even to just reassure her that he’d never hurt her.

  When Anthony Hammond had told him to kiss his bride, Travis hadn’t known what to do at first. It certainly would have looked odd if he’d refused. He’d kept the kiss as light as he’d possibly been able to manage, but the memory of Josie’s lips had burned within him every night since.

  There hadn’t been much chance to talk openly during the long days on the trail. For all outward appearances, they were now a married couple. A casual friendship had developed between them in the last ten days since the wedding, and it had ignited a spark of hope that it could lead to something more as time went on. All he needed was time, but time was running out the closer they came to Independence.

  Travis spent every possible moment he could at Josie’s side, even holding her hand in the presence of others. She hadn’t resisted, even when he’d given her a peck on the cheek in front of Ada Hammond one evening.

  The old woman had looked at them with a piercing stare. She’d probably expected more amorous behavior from a newlywed couple. If it had been up to him, he’d take her in his arms, kiss her, and tell her he loved her, but that wasn’t an option with Josie. The idea became more tempting with each day, though.

  Every night, they set up their bedrolls under the stars near the Hammond wagon. They took turns at night watch, which minimized their time sleeping next to each other somewhat. Even so, Josie was a restless sleeper and even had occasional nightmares. Somehow he hadn’t been able to shake the notion that she had those bad dreams because of him.

  This morning, for the first time, he’d had his own nightmare, and the lingering pictures in his mind were highly unsettling. Josie’s scars from what had happened to her a long time ago were rooted deep, and he had no answers how to get her past her fears.

  They’d arrived at Fort Laramie the previous night, giving everyone a chance to relax for a couple of days and recoup some energy. It would also give him a chance to spend some time with Josie away from the others.

  He’d told himself over and over again that Josie would never know that he was in love with her, but he had to tell her the truth. As far as he knew, she believed he’d been too drunk to know what he was saying the night he’d blurted the words to her.

  Every day since the wedding, he’d wanted to tell her, but he’d backed off because of how she might react. Because he was a coward and afraid she’d reject him. Maybe it was time to be honest with her and tell her how he felt. Going after what he wanted had never been a problem before, but with Josie, he certainly hadn’t been acting himself lately.

  He’d promised her she had nothing to fear from him, that he was the perfect husband for her because he wasn’t interested in her as a woman. Travis nearly laughed. He’d lied to himself and to her.

  “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

  Travis spun around. Josie stood behind him, holding a steaming tin cup out to him. He smiled and took it from her, letting his hand linger over hers for a moment before she could let go. She didn’t pull away as expected.

  Their eyes met. The uncertainty in her gaze was difficult to read. She returned his smile, but they seemed to be at an impasse on how to proceed. Why was it so difficult to talk to her and reveal his thoughts and feelings? He cleared his throat.

  “I’d like to go to the trading post at the fort this morning. Would you like to come along?”

  Josie hesitated, then nodded. “I’d like that.” She glanced over her shoulder, then back at him. “Ada has flapjacks cooking. We could go after breakfast.”

  His smile widened in a grin. “Sounds perfect.” He paused for a moment, then said, “I know you don’t like flapjacks.”

  Her head tilted slightly, and she narrowed her eyes. “How do you know I don’t like flapjacks?”

  Travis took a sip of coffee, then cupped her elbow and led her toward the Hammond camp. “Believe it or not, Mrs. Wilder, I’ve been paying attention. Every time Ada Hammond makes flapjacks, you skip breakfast. I’ll have you know they’re very good.”

  The surprise on her face made his heart beat faster. His hand on her elbow slid up her arm, and he moved closer. For once, there was no tension in her muscles. What had started as a bad morning with his unpleasant dream hanging over his head seemed to be turning around.

  “I happen to know that flapjacks are your favorite breakfast, Travis, unless there is left-over pie from supper.”

  Her smile made his mouth go dry. She’d been paying attention, too. Travis curled his toes in his boots to fight the impulse to throw caution to the wind and kiss her.

  Loretta Colby waved to them at that moment from her wagon. Eli Dansforth stood a short distance away, staring his way. Travis didn’t stop to think. He tugged on Josie’s arm to bring her closer, then leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips.

  Her eyes widened at his surprise move, then shot to where Loretta stood, still waving and with a wide smile on her face. At least she seemed to approve. Travis grinned. While he would have preferred to pull her fully into his arms and kiss her like a man ought to kiss his woman, he stepped back.

  “Figured we’d show Loretta and Dansforth that we’re enjoying married life.”

  Josie’s eyes darted back to him. She blinked, and her cheeks turned rosy. She shook her head, then nodded.

  “Yes, I . . . suppose you’re right.”

  Travis stared at her, then cleared his throat.

  “How about we skip Ada’s flapjacks and head over to the fort instead. I’ve heard from Trevor that the post cook whips up a nice batch of eggs and bacon. I’m sure I can talk him into making my wife some breakfast.”

  If she was surprised a moment ago, he’d apparently left her completely speechless by inviting her to a breakfast at the fort. Travis didn’t give her a chance to decline.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He hurried back to where they’d set up their camp for the night, tossed the coffee cup on the ground and grabbed his rifle, then returned to where Josie stood waiting under a tree. Her fingers were on her lips, but she quickly dropped her hand as he approached.

  He reached for her hand rather than her
elbow this time and headed toward the fort. The feel of her soft hand in his brightened his mood even more, especially since she didn’t try to pull away.

  They passed dozens of other wagons that were clearly headed west and using Fort Laramie as a brief stop before embarking on the next leg of their strenuous journey. Travis glanced around without being obvious.

  Mixed among the wagons were several camps of men who didn’t give the impression of being emigrants. Their bedrolls were out in the open, so they clearly had no wagons. Some of them sat around their campfires, drinking coffee or whiskey, and playing cards.

  One man looked up, his eyes on Josie before making eye contact with Travis. Something in his posture changed at that moment, but he quickly returned his focus to the man sitting next to him. Travis gripped his rifle and lengthened his strides.

  Trevor had told many stories of when he’d scouted for the army, watching the wagon trains and looking for shady men eager to swindle or rob the emigrants of their few possessions and their livestock.

  His brother’s job had always sounded like an exciting venture, something Travis had considered pursuing, but it didn’t seem important anymore. He had other responsibilities now, and one of those was to gain Josie’s trust completely so she’d accept him as her husband. His hand around hers tightened.

  A blacksmith’s hammer clanked against an anvil as they strode through the main yard of the fort. Soldiers mixed with emigrants. A laundress tossed a bucket of water out the front of her door, and several Indians sat on the ground along one of the buildings.

  Travis eyed the trading post. After finding some breakfast for Josie and himself, maybe he’d stop there to buy her something. Other than a new rifle or knife, what would she like? She certainly wasn’t fond of frilly women’s things.

  He’d observed her more closely over the last ten days to figure out her likes and dislikes. Loretta Colby’s words, that men who loved their wives paid attention to what they liked, seemed to be chiseled into his mind. If he could show Josie that he paid attention, he could convince her that he loved her.