We finally filed out and headed to the entrance. I took the lead, Daniel’s hand in mine.
Snicker. Snicker.
“What?” I asked.
Titter. Titter. Then, an enormous shout of laughter.
“What?”
Angie was bent over holding her sides. “I’m sorry, Jess, but Daniel must have wiped his hands on your jean shorts…”
“It looks like you pooped your pants, Mom,” explained David, studying a dandelion like he’d never seen one before.
There was nothing for it but to soldier on. I didn’t have a spare set of shorts.
“No one will notice,” Angie assured me, patting me on the shoulder. “It’s the zoo. Everyone gets dirty.”
We pushed through the stiles, moving fast to avoid the gift shop, as always. A security guard stopped me.
“Ma’am,” she whispered. “One woman to another, you might want to check your pants. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you, but if I’d had an accident like that, I’d want someone to tell me.”
I swallowed hard and said, “Thank you, but it’s chocolate.” I gestured to my son, with his now clean hands and face.
“Yeah, okay. Have a great day.” The guard slowly backed away, and when she got to the guard house, she picked up the phone, gesturing toward me in a frantic motion as she talked.
We went to the elephant enclosure, one of my favorites. I loved everything about elephants, particularly how delicate their feet were. They were giant animals with dainty toes.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder.
“Mrs. Friedman! How lovely to see you again.”
Elisabeth, the zoo’s public relations director, stood next to me, holding a sweatshirt that said, “Friend of the Zoo.”
“Hello, Elisabeth. How have things been?”
“Oh, much better since you got rid of our…” She lowered her voice. “Little problem. No more odd activity, except that our gorilla and female alpha wolf disappear on a regular basis, and we have no idea how or why.” She lowered her glasses on her nose. “Would you have any idea how this happens?”
“I honestly don’t know, Elisabeth. What are you telling the public?”
“That they’ve been taken for some checkups and vaccinations. If our alpha mate disappears one more time, though, I think our alpha male might lose his mind. He keeps pawing at the fence, a sign of anxiety.”
“Men,” I said.
“What?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
She held out the sweatshirt and cleared her throat. “Mrs. Friedman, as a zoo benefactor, we’d like to present you with this sweatshirt.”
“Oh! How nice.”
“And we’d like to request that you tie it around your waist so people don’t have to see your little issue.”
“It’s chocolate.”
“Good idea. I’ll write that one down in case anyone asks. In the meantime, we all understand what happens to middle-aged ladies as they get older. Kegel exercises, I hear, will help the back end too. You should try them.”
I gave up, snatched the sweatshirt from her hands, and tied it around my waist. “How are the wolf snacks? Getting those treats on a regular basis?”
“Oh, yes! We’ve let them try several different types of cheese, but did you know wolves like eggs?” Her eyes squinted a little as she told me this.
“I didn’t know, but now that you mention it, it seems reasonable. Eggs are nutritious and full of protein.”
She pointed her finger right at my face. “Yes, they are! And since you gave them treats, they’ve expanded their diet to include our swan eggs.”
“I’m confused. How do they get to the swan eggs?”
Her face scrunched up with annoyance. “We don’t know. All we know is we find the egg shells in their enclosure, along with the duck eggs as well. This is all your fault, Mrs. Friedman.”
“I fail to see how this could be my fault.”
“You introduced them to the finer things in life, and now they’ve gotten uppity.”
I nodded at her in a slow up and down motion, filtering that statement through my mind. No, still didn’t think this was my fault.
“Elisabeth, my conscious is clear on this. Now if you’ll excuse me, we have exhibits to see.”
Angie and the kids were already running off to the lion exhibit. I turned on my heel to follow when an elephant did a little back kick and some poo shot out of the exhibit right in front of my foot. With the grace of a gazelle, I danced around it and turned my head to give Elisabeth a self-satisfied smile, missing the poo missile that landed on my chest and slid down my shirt in a long brown streak.
Elisabeth put her hand to her mouth, sidled back to the guard house, and came back with a zoo t-shirt. She pointed to the nearest ladies’ room, and without giving her another glance, I held my head high and marched to the restroom, stroller and Daniel in tow, when it occurred to me that the elephant’s aim was remarkably true. I glanced over my shoulder at the female elephant and froze when the elephant, long eyelashes and all, clearly, deliberately, winked at me.
THE END…for now…
About the Author
J.D. Blackrose is the fantasy pen name of Joelle Reizes. She loves all things storytelling and celebrates great writing by posting about it on her website, www.slipperywords.com.
When not writing, Blackrose lives with three children, an enormous orange cat, her husband and a full-time job in Corporate Communications. She’s fearful that so-called normal people will discover exactly how often she thinks about wicked fairies, nasty wizards, homicidal elevators, and the odd murder. As a survival tactic, she has mastered the art of looking interested.
Also by J.D. Blackrose
The Soul Wars Series
Souls Collide
Souls Fall
Souls Rise
Souls Unite
The Soul Wars - Collected Edition
Falstaff Books
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Copyright © 2018 by J.D. Blackrose
Cover Design by Melissa McArthur
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is coincidental. Except that bit about that guy. That’s totally a thing.
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