I Will Love You

by E. L. Todd

  “What happened to taking thing slow?” I asked, still eating my omelet.

  “Well, this can be separate from our relationship,” he said. “You can use me all you want.” He winked at me. “I’m like a machine.”

  “Like you’d want to have sex with a pregnant woman,” I said, trying to get the attention off of me. The area between my legs was starting to burn and I squeezed my thighs together so I would stop thinking about Ward nailing me.

  He released a sarcastic laugh. “Darling, I would absolutely love to. You being pregnant is nothing but a bloody turn on.”

  “Having a large tummy, swollen hands and feet, and a big ass is sexy to you?”

  One side of his lips upturned in a smile. “The ass and tummy part is, not so much the feet and hands. But yes, I’m hard just thinking about it.”

  My cheeks blushed.

  “And I can tell you get hard thinking about it too.”

  I tilted my head. “Were you this cocky when we were together?”

  “Probably,” he said. “You just didn’t notice.”

  “I think I would notice something like that.”

  He folded his newspaper and put it on the table. Then he leaned over the surface and lowered his voice. “Regardless of how cocky I am, I can give you what you need. I can rock your world, make you scream, and make you come hard. I’ll make your legs shake so you can barely walk. Just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

  I hated the fact he was turning me on. I tried to act put off rather than intrigued. “I’m not stupid, Ward.”

  “I’m not following,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

  “You think if I have sex with you, I’ll want you back.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Is that a crime?”

  “No. But it’s unrealistic.”

  “Well, maybe I’m wrong and it won’t work. But, I get to have sex with my dream girl so I really don’t care.” He leaned against his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

  If I weren’t pregnant, I’d have better control of my emotions. But right now, they were all over the place. I wanted him so bad and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. There was no other man I wanted but him, and letting him satisfy me sounded wonderful. Masturbation wasn’t working for me. It didn’t give me what I needed.

  “So?” He gave me a questioning look.

  I had to stay strong. “No. Our last relationship was based off sex and look where we ended up.”

  “Madly in love with a child on the way,” he said bluntly. “Sounds like it worked out to me.”

  “I guess we have different definitions of a successful relationship.”

  “Actually, I don’t think we do.” He stared at me.

  Why did he have to be so damn good-looking? It was a crime, really.

  We had a staring contest for minutes. I wasn’t sure why we were staring at each other but a silent conversation was being had. I forced myself to stay in my seat and not beg him to take me on the table. When his hair was messy in the morning he was impossible to resist.

  Luckily, someone knocked on the door.

  Ward stood up then looked at the time.

  “Expecting company?” I asked.

  “No.” He headed to the other side of the house and answered the door. When I heard heated voices seconds later, I knew who came to visit.

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now,” Ward said in a hostile way.

  “Just give me a minute,” Willow argued.

  “You insulted the woman I love,” Ward said. “We’re a family and I don’t let anyone, even my sister, insult my family.” He slammed the door and locked it. Then he returned to my side of the house.

  His shoulders were tense and his eyes were dark when he sat down.

  “Willow?”

  He turned to me. The earlier cockiness was gone. “Unfortunately.”

  “Did she say what she wanted?”

  “No. I told her to take a hike.”

  The front door opened and footsteps headed our way.

  Ward remained seated and gave Willow a venomous look when she entered the kitchen area. “That key is for emergencies, not just barging in when my darling is trying to have breakfast.”

  I hated the fact he kept calling me that. But I loved it at the same time.

  She eyed my empty plate. “She looks finished.”

  Ward stared her down. “She’s only finished when she says she’s finished.”

  I felt self-conscious wearing Ward’s clothes. I wasn’t expecting company.

  Willow crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m came here to talk. Just give me a few minutes.”

  Ward turned away. “I would throw you out if you weren’t a girl. You’re lucky there’s no way I can grab you without hurting you.”

  “And because we both know I’d break your nose if you tried to hurt me.”

  Ward didn’t look amused at all. “Then get out of my house voluntarily before I get the police involved.”

  This was becoming tense. “Just listen to what she has to say.”

  Willow eyed me suspiciously.

  Ward gave me a look of death. “Stop defending her. She’s a bitch and we both know it.”

  “I’m not defending her,” I said. “Just listen to her. The sooner you do, the sooner she leaves.”

  Willow continued to stare at me like I was some science project.

  Ward released an angry sigh. “Fine.” He turned to Willow. “Spit it out.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I want to speak to you in private.”

  Ward laughed but it was clear he wasn’t amused. “No. If you have nasty things to say about Clementine you can say them where she can hear you. Maybe it’ll help you realize how ugly of a person you are.”

  Willow glanced at me then turned to him. “Ward, I love you. You’re my older brother. You always look after me and take care of me, even when it annoys me. You were the one who scared off all the boys when we were growing up. You’re protective of me. But I’m protective of you too. I don’t say these things because I enjoy hurting you or Clementine. I just can’t stand by and watch you make a mistake. You’re an amazing man and you should only be with a woman whose equally amazing.”

  “Well, Clementine is out of my league,” Ward said. “There are a lot of things about her you have no knowledge of. So don’t stand there and compare us when you hardly know the girl. And whether you like her or hate her makes no difference to me. Because I love her with everything I have and I’m not going to leave her no matter what you say.”

  “And what about Iris?”

  Who was Iris?

  “What about her?” Ward said calmly.

  “She’s a really nice girl. If you gave her a chance it could go somewhere.” Willow shifted her weight but stood her ground.

  “I don’t love her,” Ward said. “Plain and simple.”

  Was Iris a woman he was seeing? That made me sick. I suddenly wanted to throw up the omelet he gave me.

  “But she’s better than this tramp,” Willow said.

  Ward was on his feet. “Get out of my house.”

  “But she—”

  “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.” Ward’s voice shook the walls and almost shattered the windows. I gripped the table because I was terrified. Ward had never gotten red in the face like that. He’d never showed such furious anger. I’d never seen him lose his cool like this, not even when that guy tried to grab me at the strip club. “NOW.” His shoulders and arms were shaking like he was restraining himself from snapping her neck.

  Willow didn’t keep her customarily stoic expression. Emotion came into her eyes and her bottom lip quivered slightly. Without saying a word, she turned around and left the house. The door didn’t make a sound when she closed it and locked it.

  Ward stood in the same spot, like he expected her to come back.

  I watched him, unsure what to do or say to make him feel better. When someone was on a rampage, it was best to stay out of t
he way.

  Ward turned to me, the anger deep within his eyes. “I apologize if I scared you.”

  “I think you scared everyone on the block…”

  His lips pulled at a smile. “I did, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah…”

  He shook his head. “I love my sister but…I really hate her right now.”

  “As difficult as it is to believe, she’s looking after you. I doubt she wants to be the bad guy in this situation.”

  He nodded. “Refraining from calling you a tramp would go a long way though…”

  “She’s just upset.”

  “Seriously, stop defending her,” he said. “She would never defend you.”

  “That’s irrelevant. I want you guys to work this out.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to work it out.” He rested his hands on his hips. “Willow has always had a strong personality. I’m not sure where she gets it from. I’ve put up with it for a long time. But now I’ve reached my breaking point.”

  I stared at my orange juice, which had remained untouched. “Who’s Iris?”

  He flinched slightly. “A woman I was seeing. She’s a friend of Willow’s.”

  “Oh…” I wasn’t sure why I asked when I didn’t want to know.

  “The first time she and I had sex I cried.” He didn’t look at me when he said it. “Because all I could think about was you and how I wished I was with you instead of her. That’s why I never called her again.” He turned his back on me and headed upstairs.

  I stayed at the table and continued to stare at my glass of juice.

  ***

  “Where are we headed?” Ward asked.

  “The lab.”

  He cocked an eyebrow from the driver’s seat. “Come again?”

  “You’re taking me to a lab at the hospital so I can have a paternity test.”

  He slammed on the breaks in the middle of the road. “Excuse me?”

  “Either take me or I’m walking. But we both know how much you love it when I walk around and lift things.”

  He gave me a glare. I thought he might scream at me the way he screamed at his sister. “We aren’t doing that, Clementine. I know the baby is mine. I don’t need proof.”

  “But your sister does.”

  Fire burned in his eyes. “Well, she can—”

  “Just take me. Otherwise, I’ll make it happen on my own.”

  A car honked behind us.

  He didn’t move.

  “Ward,” I pressed.

  He growled then drove forward.

  ***

  The results were in a sealed envelope. “Let’s head to Willow’s.”

  “Aren’t you going to open it?” Ward asked from the driver’s seat.

  “I don’t need to. I know what it says.”

  “It’s just…it would be really humiliating if it was someone else’s…” He eyed me carefully. “I would still be here even if it wasn’t mine. But I doubt my sister would ever stop giving me hell for it.”

  “It’s yours, Ward,” I said firmly.

  He eyed the envelope.

  “Open it if you want,” I said. “It won’t offend me.”

  He didn’t grab it. Instead, he pulled onto the road and headed to Willow’s.

  We arrived at her small house in the city then knocked on the door.

  Ward stood beside me with his hands in his pockets. He wore jeans and a blue t-shirt, looking like a model walking the streets. I wanted to run kisses all over his body but I restrained myself. Did I want him so bad just because I was attracted to him? Or was it because I was still in love with him?

  Willow opened the door, and judging the surprise on her face she didn’t expect to see ether one of us. “Uh, hi?” She eyed us both suspiciously.

  I pulled out the envelope and handed it to her. “The paternity test you asked for.”

  She eyed it before she snatched it. She hastily opened the envelope and took out the paper. She read through the lines before she shoved the paper back into the package.

  “You owe Clementine an apology,” Ward said.

  “I don’t owe her anything,” she said. “She should have provided this for you to begin with.”

  “Why would she when I never asked for it?” he said coldly.

  “You need to stop blindly trusting people, Ward,” she said. “It’s going to get you killed.”

  Ward grabbed my elbow. “Let’s go before I do something I’ll regret.”

  Willow watched us go. “Ward, I don’t want it to be like this.” She walked after us and caught up to him. “I’m sorry, okay? I just have to protect you. Now that I know the baby is yours I’ll be an amazing aunt.”

  Ward didn’t look happy like I thought he would be. “I don’t want you to be an aunt to my child. I want nothing to do with you.” He opened the passenger door so I could get inside.

  “Nothing to do with me?” Pain was in her voice. “Ward, I was just—”

  “I don’t give a damn what you were trying to do. This is supposed to be an exciting time for me but all you cared about was turning it into a soap opera. My personal life with Clementine is none of your business so stay out of it. I don’t give a damn if she treats me like garbage. She’s the only woman I want. Now leave us alone.”

  Willow’s eyes watered.

  “Seriously, don’t call me.” He moved to the driver side. “Because I won’t answer.” He got inside then shut the door. Then he hit the lock button so she wouldn’t be able to get inside.

  I didn’t like this at all. I wanted this to be a reunion for them. But it just turned into something much worse.

  Ward pulled onto the street without looking back. It seemed like he hated his sister. And I feared he actually did.

  ***

  Ward and I ate dinner in silence. He sipped his wine then looked out the window. He was brooding, clearly still upset with the last conversation he had with his sister.

  “This pot roast is really good,” I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

  “Thank you.” He kept eating and didn’t look at me.

  I knew nothing I said would cheer him up. He would be in a bad mood for a while. “You should pack lunches for our son when he goes to school,” I said. “He’ll love anything you make.”

  That got him to soften up slightly. “I don’t know about that. I doubt our son would appreciate pot roast that much.”

  “He’d love anything his father made him.”

  “Even broccoli?” he asked with a laugh. “Because I’m pretty sure he’s going to hate that.”

  “You’ll convince him to swallow it.”

  “You know, I would love to have a girl too,” he said. “One of each.”

  I kept my gaze on my food.

  “I hope you can give me one someday,” he said. “Because after having one baby with you I’m going to want more.”

  It made me uncomfortable when he made these assumptions. “I said we would try. I never said it was a guarantee we would get back together.”

  “But we will get back together,” he said. “I’ll prove to you that we belong together—even if you don’t see it.” He stared me down as he said it, like he dared me to correct him.

  “You said you would take this as slow as I wanted. But now you’re trying to seduce me and you’re flat-out telling me I’m going to be with you no matter what.”

  “What’s your point?”

  My eyes narrowed. “You’re being pushy. That’s my point.”

  “If we went at your pace, we wouldn’t work it out until our son went off to college,” he said. “I’m just trying to remind me why we should be together—and give you a little nudge.”

  “I don’t need a nudge.”

  He studied me for a long time. “Sometimes I think you purposely won’t let yourself be happy, like you’re punishing yourself.”

  That caught my attention. “Punishing myself?”

  “I think you took the easiest way out when we got close. I think you purposely did
n’t fight for us because you didn’t want to be happy.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “I beg to differ,” he said. “You’ve never forgiven yourself over what happened with your ex—the fact he was married and had kids. You feel like a terrible person, the reason why their family broke apart. And you’ve never let it go.”

  I turned away because I knew he was right. That relationship still haunted me. The entire time Ward and I were together I always suspected he wasn’t who he said he was. And even when he did prove himself I still shunned him. And when the truth came out about Skye, it was the excuse I was looking for. It was like I expected it to happen, had been waiting for it.

  “Let it go,” he said. “You’re torturing yourself for no reason.”

  “That might have something to do with it. I won’t deny that. But…you still hurt me, Ward. What happened with Skye still bothers me.”

  He sighed and looked away, like he was going to explode. “And everything else I’ve done and said since that moment is irrelevant?” He turned back to me, impatience in his eyes. “I admit that didn’t shed me in a good light. But I’ve bent my back trying to make this relationship work. I’ve proved to you several times that I love you and only you. I even picked you over Skye. So, how can that still bother you?”

  “It just does…”

  He shook his head slightly. “How will this relationship ever work unless you let that go? Because we’re sitting across from each other right now, madly in love with one another, but I can’t grab your face and kiss you because of something that happened six months ago. How can you ever give me another chance if you won’t forgive me?”

  “I do forgive you,” I said. “I just…”

  “What?” he hissed.

  “I just don’t want to get hurt again.” I looked down at my plate.

  Ward paused for a few moments. “I would never hurt you again, darling. I know you know that’s true—somewhere deep inside.”

  I stabbed a carrot with my fork.

  “We’re having a family, Clementine. Let’s just put the past behind us and start over. We deserve that because we love each other. And our son deserves that. I want him to get here and see us as husband and wife.”

  “You want to get married?” I blurted.