by T. S. Joyce
Jenner was a damned werebear! Bear shifter! Bear! Whatever!
Lena closed her eyes as he came within clawing distance of her. She sure knew how to pick them. Adam had broken her, and now she’d given her heart to a man who was going to eat her. She hoped he choked on her.
She squealed a high pitched, terrified sound as Jenner…er…Bear…snuffled her stomach. But when seconds dragged by, and he just rested his head there, waiting, she cracked one eye open and whispered, “Good Bear. Don’t eat me. I’m tough and my bones splinter easily and I taste like piss and gristle.”
Bear huffed a breath, and if she wasn’t mistaken, it sounded the equivalent to a laugh.
“I’m going to pet you. Yep.” She reached out, hands shaking badly. “I’m really going to touch you,” she warned, closing her eyes again. She squealed again as her fingers brushed his coarse fur right by his ear.
Bear rubbed his head against her, and she yanked her hand back again, thinking he didn’t like it, but no. Apparently Jenner’s giant fucking grizzly bear was a snuggler. And now there was a humming in his throat she didn’t recognize. Was he purring? She touched him again, just a quick pet, there and gone, and since he still didn’t seem inclined to devour her and pick his teeth with her bones, she ran her palm over the top of his enormous head.
His body was overwhelmingly enormous and blocked out the entire forest behind him. The muscular hump over his shoulders was taller than she was and, intimidated all over again, she began serial petting him in jerky strokes, trying to stifle the whimper in her throat. At this rate, if her heart beat any faster, it would just explode in her chest, and she would drop like a log.
Bear, apparently sensing her distress because clearly he could sense everything, eased off her and plopped down to the ground where he rolled to his back and wiggled this way and that until the dirt kicked up and made her cough a laugh.
He reached out for her with one giant paw roughly the size of her head.
“Belly scratch?” she asked in a pitch one decibel down from dog whistle.
He huffed a hard breath and wiggled closer, looking more like a giant corgi begging belly rubs than a murderous brown bear.
Lena let off a surprised laugh and stumbled forward on legs that had gone numb and noodle-like. “Right, I’m going to pet your belly now, you massive grizzly.” This was not where she imagined her life would end up.
Primly and carefully, she bent at the waist and reached out for him, standing as far away as possible. Bear had a different idea, though, because he curved his paw around her backside and pulled her forward until she fell onto his belly. There she froze, waiting for him to murder her, but nope, he just made the purring noise as she lay like a star on top of him.
“I’m going to make a fur angel,” she said in a muffled voice against his belly.
Another Bear laugh, and she was off, arms waving slowly against his massive shape. Her emotions were all over the place as she laughed. Spinning slowly, she slid down his belly and sat on the ground against him.
“This is an awful big secret to keep all this time, Jenner,” she whispered, wiping her clammy palms onto her jeans.
Bear curled protectively around her and lay his enormous head next to her, then sighed a sad sound, kicking up dirt again.
“This is why you can growl and your eyes change colors. This is why you can smell everything. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, but you have to understand this isn’t in the realm of what I thought could possibly be reality for anyone.”
Bear grunted an understanding sound, and she scooted over, snuggling against his neck.
“This is why you and your brothers can’t get along.” God, what a hard life, keeping a massive beast tucked away. No wonder he preferred to be out here in the wilderness. He’d found the perfect job. As a guide, he only had to deal with people for a short amount of time, and he had the excuse to be scouting when his animal needed to roam. This was the perfect way to make a living for a bear-man like Jenner. And no wonder he was so good at guiding—so sought after. He could find game because he was a freaking bear. He was one of the animals that belonged out in these woods.
Lena inhaled his scent and committed it to memory. Jenner the man had always had a distinct scent of pine, soap, and something she hadn’t been able to put her finger on, but now she realized it was this. Animal fur. And as she snuggled closer to him, burying her face against his neck, she fell for him even harder. There were no barriers here in the evening shadows, out here away from anything or anyone that would judge her relationship with a wild man like him. Here, she was safe with her bear-man and could say anything she wanted because no one could hear her but him, and he couldn’t respond to reject her. Not like this. Not in bear form.
“Jenner?” He snaked his face closer to her in the dirt, so she dipped her lips near his ear and whispered, “I’m not running. I like you more because you shared this part of yourself with me. I…” She swallowed hard and closed her eyes tightly as she said the words that had been murmuring through her mind. “I love you just the same, maybe more now.”
Jenner froze under her, and for a moment, she thought she’d been wrong. Jenner didn’t need words to reject her. But as the first tendrils of regret unfurled in her chest, Jenner pulled her closer with his massive arm, his claws gentle against her fragile, paper-thin skin, and his satisfied hum was back in his chest, rattling against her.
And it was enough.
Even if Jenner the man couldn’t say the words or perhaps didn’t feel as deeply as she did yet, Bear adored her just fine.
Chapter Ten
Jenner couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her. His mate. Lena didn’t understand the mark he’d put on her shoulder yet, but she would. He just had to find the right time to tell her.
Across the fire, Lena had that absent smile that was so fucking adorable he wanted to take her in the tent and make her gasp his name. She was noisy when she came. Perfect. Perfect mate. Telling him just what she liked and training him to understand her body. He’d never felt so deeply about anyone. Not even Brea could touch what was forming between him and Lena.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” she said softly. She hadn’t said much since he’d Changed back, but it wasn’t the bad kind of silence. The smile on her lips had been constant since he’d come out of the woods a man again, and he’d held her as long as she let him. Until her stomach growled, and his inner bear snarled that he needed to feed her. That he needed to take better care of his mate.
“You,” he said simply.
“Oh yeah? Well I’m thinking about me, too, like, I want you to meet my family, and I’m already thinking of excuses for your growls and changing eyes.”
“You want me to meet your family?”
Now that blush was back in her cheeks as she dropped her gaze to the fire. “Does that bother you?”
“Bother me? Hell no.” It would have to be in the summer, though, and not this year. It was the end of July, and he had two months until hibernation, three max. He was homebound until April because he couldn’t risk falling asleep for the winter without a den and where he could be caught. “I like that you’ve already met one of my brothers.”
“About Tobias. You said he scarred you up, but I didn’t understand how. He’s a bear shifter too, isn’t he?”
Jenner nodded once. “We were sixteen and on one of our first Changes, out in the woods and alone and didn’t know what was happening.”
“Why didn’t you know what was happening?”
“Uh, my dad is a bear shifter. All of the men in my lineage are, but unfortunately, Dad wasn’t too keen on explaining what we would be going through when we came of age. He was more of a hands-off parent. He thinks that good bear shifters just know how to handle themselves because of instinct.”
“But you didn’t?”
Jenner shook his head and set his plate down, then stood and walked around the fire just to be closer to her. He couldn’t stand not touching her right no
w. Not after today’s close encounter with Titus. Not after what he’d shared with her. Lena hadn’t run, and that thought still shocked him. Lena was still here, looking at him like he was a man and not a freak.
Tough woman. His tough woman.
Jenner sat behind her and hugged her back to his chest, rested his chin on the shoulder he hadn’t injured. “It was snowing really hard, and Tobias didn’t have control of his bear like Ian and I did. He needed to bleed something, and I got in the way, and after he left, I thought I was going to die out there. Ian looked so scared. There was red snow all under me, and I got so cold. All he had was this damned tiny first aid kit. I heal fast thanks to the bear, but he just kept packing snow into my cuts, and he was crying. We were under this little rock ledge, unprotected, and terrified Tobias would come back and finish us both off.”
“Oh, Jenner.” Heartbreak tainted her soft words.
“We went to battle that spring, and that was the last time we spent any long amount of time together. Our bears are all dominant and can’t stand to be close to another bruin. It’s the way of it for most of our kind.”
“Are there lots of you?”
“No. Hardly any.”
“Why?”
Jenner pressed his lips against her temple and frowned at the firelight. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her about hibernation right now. Cowardly? Hell yeah, but he just couldn’t. Even if Bear wasn’t a deal breaker for her, no woman was going to put up with him falling asleep for six months of the year. It wouldn’t be fair to ask anyone to stick around for that. So instead he said simply, “We don’t pair up easily.”
“But your dad did,” she argued.
“Nah, he didn’t. He got a woman pregnant, never explained what he was, and she was out on raising me and my brothers while we were still in diapers. Bear shifters are not adept at keeping a mate happy.”
“A mate,” she whispered.
He smiled at how sweetly she’d uttered that word, as if it was something she wanted. She didn’t know all of the grit yet, but damn, he would go to his grave remembering just how she’d said that.
“So Dalton and Chance, huh. Owooooo!”
He chuckled and rubbed his cheek against hers. That was the type of affection Bear had been pushing him to give her all along, and now he could finally do it. “Now you get the Wolf Camp reference, right?”
Lena gasped and grinned at him. “Are they going to be pissed that you told me?”
“No, because you aren’t going to tell anyone that you know. I mean, no one can know, Lena, or it puts me and my brothers in danger. It puts all shifters in danger. We’re really careful with who we tell. Mate’s only. It’s one of the rules.”
“I knew it! Jenner!” Lena twisted in his arms and leveled him with those beautiful honey eyes of hers. “I’m your mate, and you’re my mate, right? That’s why this feels so big. I mean, from the first time I saw you, you felt important. Like a piece of me had always been tethered to you, and it was a relief just being around you.”
God, perfect. She’d just described what he’d felt so adequately. “Yeah.”
Her eyes went wide, and the smile dipped from her face. “Is that why you wanted to bite me?”
Jenner pulled the neck of her sweater over to expose the bandage he’d put on her before he’d cooked dinner. “I’ve never wanted to do that to anyone before.”
“Not even Brea?”
He shook his head. “It’s called a claiming mark. For shifters, it means you’re off limits.”
“I’m claimed,” she said on a breath as she rested back against him. “By you.”
“I thought you would be freaking out more by all of this.”
“I should be. This is insane. You have a bear in you, Jenner. Like a giant, sharp-toothed, long-clawed grizzly bear. It’s not wrong to still want you, right?”
A laugh rattled his chest, and the stretch of his smile felt so damned good. “I don’t think so. You won’t be fooling around with my animal or anything. That’s taboo in both of our cultures. So no, falling for me isn’t wrong.” He rocked her to the side and nipped on her neck. “You’ll have the man. The bear is just an unfortunate bonus.”
“Don’t say that. Bear isn’t unfortunate. He’s a part of you, and I love everything about you.” Her voice dipped to nothing at the end. “Sorry.”
“For what? Accepting all of me. Yes, woman, I’m offended.”
“No, not just for that. I mean, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, and then I’m sorry I said the L-word while you were a bear. I know it’s too soon.”
“I’m not sorry,” he murmured over the crackling fire. He couldn’t bring himself to say those words to her until she knew everything, but down to his bones, he felt them. He loved her so deeply it socked him in the gut to think of her leaving, but that was their reality. She had a life and a career that required her to travel, and he was anchored to Alaska, just waiting and preparing to hibernate every year. He wouldn’t ever ask her to give that up, and admitting he loved her out loud would be a gateway conversation to doing just that.
Lena deserved a better life than what he could give her.
Swallowing down the snarl of his bear as the beast disagreed, he kissed Lena’s lips softly, just as she deserved after all she’d gone through today, then pulled her up. “Off to bed, woman. We have a big day tomorrow.”
“More bears?”
He nodded and said, “I’ll find you more bears, but this time we’ll be safer about it.”
“Will you sleep beside me?”
Damn she was so beautiful. Straight-backed with confidence, her long dark hair hanging in waves down her shoulders. And those eyes—such a strange, soft brown color, like she hid an animal within her, too. His mate looked otherworldly as she stood against the flickering firelight, asking him to sleep beside her. Beyond all reason, she still felt safe around him. But she wasn’t. Not yet.
“Not tonight.” He brushed a soft wave behind her ear just to see her beautiful face better. “I’ll keep watch and wake you in the morning.”
He wouldn’t tell her that he would be hunting Titus tonight.
Lena didn’t need the stress of being left alone while he made these woods safer for her.
Chapter Eleven
Lena startled awake and, for a moment, couldn’t remember where she was. She’d been having a good dream that was just on the edge of her memory, so why did she feel so unsettled now?
A soft rustling sound pricked up the fine hairs on her body, and she pursed her lips to try and steady her shaking breath. It was dark, but outside the tent, the embers from the earlier fire still cast the tent in a soft glow.
Some distance off, the horses were restless, pawing the ground and snorting. One let off a whicker, but it sounded terrified, and suddenly, she could make out pounding hooves, as if they’d pulled off their line. Shit.
“Jenner?” she whispered, sitting up in the sleeping bag. Maybe he was Changed into his bear and stressing out the horses.
A massive shadow covered the tent and then disappeared. Oh God, please let that be Jenner!
As quietly as she was able, Lena reached over and pulled the long knife she carried in a sheath on her belt. It wouldn’t do jack shit against a pissed off grizzly, but if she went for the eyes, maybe she could buy herself time.
The shadow moved around the tent, disappearing into the darkness in the back and reappearing on the side that glowed with firelight. A short bellow blasted from the animal, jolting fear through her. Not Jenner. That didn’t sound anything like him, and there was nothing in between her and whatever bear was out there save the thin nylon of the tent.
The animal snuffled against the bottom edge of the flimsy shelter. Against the fabric, she could make out the outline of a brown bear’s massive nose. Lena clutched the knife tighter and held her breath. Where the fuck was Jenner?
The bear stood up on its hind legs, and this was it. In a rush, she pulled her backpack in front of her just as the bea
st dropped down and raked its claws down the tent, shredding it.
“Jenner!” she screamed as a massive claw ran down the backpack and yanked it from her grasp.
Through the tattered tent, she could see him now. Dark brown bear, scarred neck, missing ear. Titus.
She couldn’t escape the tent to run because the bruin was blocking the only exit, and as he pulled the backpack out, he clamped his massive jaws around it and shook the thing, scattering everything from it. The power of his jaws had tears streaming down the sides of her face in terror. With a bellowing roar, the monster turned his attention to her, so close she could see one of his eyes was fogged with blue. She scrambled for that side of him, hoping to confuse him, but he was on her now. She could see it the second he swung his head toward her and locked his gaze on hers. Shoving forward, he stretched his claws through the opening and just as he reached her, she slammed the blade of her knife as hard as she could into his arm.
The bear jerked back and bellowed an awful sound. Anger and pain. And right as he pushed forward again, tilting the entire tent with him, something hit him on his side with the force of a meteor.
Jenner! The sound of their brawling was overwhelming, hurting her ears with the sheer volume. And when she stumbled out of the collapsing tent, she couldn’t comprehend the raw violence of the enormous grizzlies. Titus slammed into a tree, and it snapped in two with an echoing crack. Jenner was much lighter in color and easy to tell apart, but now he was being clawed and bitten. Titus latched his teeth onto Jenner’s neck and shook him.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” she chanted as she bolted for the rifle. This couldn’t be happening!
Fingers fumbling, she pulled the snap on the saddle and yanked the rifle. She shoved a bullet in the chamber and pulled it to her shoulder. Tight, just like Dad taught her. Aim. Steady. Slow breaths, one, two, hold on the third. Shit! Jenner and Titus were just a mass of fur and teeth as they warred in the dim glow of the smoldering fire. She didn’t want to hit Jenner. Couldn’t hit him. She loved him.