Apathetic God

by Ian Withrow

  Lauren brooded on the information. Of course it was the quickest route. Her scowl made Valerie fret until she realized what must be bothering her.

  “Ooh, right.”

  Lauren cast her a pitiful look.

  “Well, that settles it then. We’ll go through Serbia instead.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Lauren, it’s about time you start writing your own story. We can go anywhere in the world as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Seems like the life of a photographer is pretty open-ended... Don’t you have to go to work or anything?”

  Valerie winked conspiratorially.

  “I’m a very, very good photographer.”

  A fierce wanderlust caught hold of Lauren. Here was the travelling companion she had always dreamed of. Here was the crazy, responsibility-free trip that filled the imaginations of young people everywhere. For once in her life, Lauren felt free of the cage of her self-imposed duties.

  “S-so is Serbia also on the way to London?”

  Lauren asked the question as innocently as she could, but she couldn't stop her cheeks from burning or a grin from forming on her face.

  Valerie tried and failed to contain her excitement. She didn’t trust herself to speak, so she nodded vigorously.

  “Will it be safe?”

  Valerie lost her smile. It was replaced by a look of… regret?

  “No, Lauren, it won’t. I’m not going to lie to you. Will it be safer than here? In some ways. Will it be free of angry mobs and religious fanatics? Hopefully.”

  Lauren mulled over the uncomfortable truth. She opened her mouth to argue but Valerie continued.

  “Look, if your handlers promised you you were going to be safe, if they told you that everything was under control, then they lied to you. I’m sure they meant what they said but the simple fact is the world doesn’t work that way.”

  “So I’m fucked,” Lauren retorted bitterly.

  “No, little stormcloud, you’re growing up.”

  Lauren scowled at her, but Valerie’s gaze stayed steady on the road ahead. She scanned the horizon, one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the center console between them. Lauren was annoyed. Annoyed by her slender jaw line, her button nose, the wild, unkempt mess of deep brown curls partially obscuring her frustratingly beautiful face. She tried to stay mad, to deny within herself that Valerie’s words were true, but it was a losing battle. She was right, and the sooner Lauren came to grips with it the better.

  “Lauren, I’m sorry I tend to speak my-”

  Lauren slipped her hand into Valerie’s and gave a gentle squeeze. Valerie squeezed back immediately, entwining their fingers gently.

  “So what comes after Serbia?”

  They hit the Serbian border within an hour, and this time they were considerably better prepared. Valerie helped Lauren get situated beneath her mountain of clothes and blankets a few miles from the checkpoint and they passed without incident. Lauren caught herself dozing off as Valerie drove, lulled to sleep by the soft rock coming in over the radio.

  She must have needed the rest, because the next thing she knew she was being gently shaken by her friend. As she stirred, she picked up the mouthwatering smells of onions, garlic, beef, and pork.

  “Rise and shine sleepyhead.”

  Lauren cracked an eye open. Valerie was waving a loosely wrapped package in front of her nose. The mysterious item was roughly hamburger-sized, which was good enough for her. Her stomach growled in agreement.

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s nearly noon. We’re just outside of Belgrade, the capital of Serbia. What better time to try some traditional Pljeskavica?”

  “Gesundheit,” Lauren joked.

  “Very funny dear, it’s the national dish!”

  Lauren sat up and stretched, taking the package she was offered. Beneath the paper wrapper was a delicious looking burger. Or was it a sandwich? The not-burger consisted of a seared meat patty, pickled peppers, and fresh onions between two pieces of warm, crusty bread.

  “You’re not going to tell me this is like, horse meat or something right?”

  Valerie looked positively horrified.

  “Good heavens, no! What a dreadful thought.”

  Lauren smiled at her distress and bit into the sandwich. It was amazing. Grease and pickle juice covered her fingers and threatened to run down her chin as she devoured her prize.

  “I take it you were hungry then.”

  Lauren stopped mid-bite. Her bulging cheeks made it hard to laugh, but she managed.

  “Shuddup.”

  Valerie, for her part, was eating her sandwich in a way that could only be described as dainty. Lauren’s cheeks flushed, but she stubbornly continued munching away.

  When she had finished, Lauren took the opportunity to observe her surroundings more carefully. They were at the edge of a small town on the side of a hill overlooking a large sprawling metropolis. The city was dotted with large, gothic looking buildings. Lauren stared wistfully at it in the distance, but she feared that to go would be to end her adventure.

  “Did you want to visit the city?”

  Valerie had once again read her like a book. But she shook her head.

  “Do you suppose someday it will be different for me? That I’ll be able to just visit places? See them like a normal person?”

  Valerie finished her own meal and put the truck back in drive.

  “Hope springs eternal, Lauren. I truly hope so.”

  Belgrade to budapest, Serbia to Hungary, the pair chased the sun across the map. Lauren felt young in a way she hadn’t since she’d left Cobden. She was a starry-eyed nineteen year old at last. Valerie was a seasoned traveller, and her passion for it bled through in everything she said and showed her passenger. As the sun set on the second day of their journey, Lauren wondered whether they would bed down in the truck again. She found herself hoping they would indeed share the small, intimate nest of blankets once more.

  “You alright love? Your cheeks are quite red, are you feeling feverish?”

  Lauren jumped, she’d been caught. She couldn't suppress a smile as her cheeks glowed several shades redder.

  “A bit warm,” she lied. “But I’m fine. Just wondering where we were spending the evening tonight.”

  Now it was Valerie’s turn to look curiously blase.

  “Ah well, I thought perhaps Vienna?”

  Lauren narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Valerie’s entire tone had changed. Was she was hiding something? Wasn’t Vienna huge? Lauren contemplated pressing the issue, but she decided to simply trust her companion instead.

  She waited impatiently, expecting any moment to arrive and find out just what Valerie had in store. Hours ticked by, the sun set, the moon rose, and still they hadn’t stopped. Finally, Lauren could contain herself no more.

  “How far is it to Vienna?”

  Valerie flashed another fetching smile.

  “We’re nearly there, about an hour away actually.”

  Lauren checked the clock, an hour would put them arriving close to midnight. Maybe she had been wrong. Perhaps she had misread her friend, and there was nothing special in Vienna for them. Lauren couldn’t rationalize why it so disappointed her, but she did her best to shake the feeling.

  The view of the city as they approached it helped in her efforts considerably. The sea of lights amidst the darkness of the highway was magical in its own right. Lauren half expected them to take a side road and skirt around the city as they had done all day, but they drew closer and closer with no sign of turning or slowing down.

  Shortly, they were in the city. Lights flashed past on either side and masses of young people wandered the streets. Lauren imagined what it would be like to be one of them. To be bar-hopping with her friends. To be leaving a late showing of the newest hollywood blockbuster. To be taking a date to a late dinner.

  “That was a heavy sigh, everything ok?”

  Lauren nodded, pushing her wistful longing b
ack into the corners of her mind.

  “You said we were going to sleep here, won’t I be seen?”

  “I’ve got a place in mind where I think we can have a pretty good chance at privacy.”

  With that, Valerie turned off the main thoroughfare and took them down a few side streets. They were nearly out of the city when she finally pulled down a long dark drive. The shadowy forms of broad trees lined the drive, hiding the city that lay just behind them. The trees gave way at last to a wide clearing.

  Before them was a small dock and an empty parking lot that could hold a dozen cars or so. Lauren’s interest piqued. She peered around for a house that they might be staying at, but aside from a small building that looked like a restroom there was nothing to see.

  Valerie parked the truck and hopped out. She walked around and pulled a few bags out of the rear of the vehicle and then continued around to Lauren’s door. She tapped playfully on the glass.

  “Coming?”

  Lauren raised an eyebrow and stepped out as well. She glanced around, afraid that someone might see her in the low light of the parking.

  “Don’t worry, this is a friend’s place. There’s no one here to see us.”

  Valerie walked briskly down to the dock, Lauren in tow. She went all the way to the end, where a large vessel was bobbing gently in the river. It had a big dusty cover on it, which Valerie wasted no time in removing. Lauren gasped in awe at the beauty beneath the unassuming exterior. The boat, around 40 feet long, was all exquisite walnut with shining brass accents. It was a houseboat, with a wide flat deck and a set of stairs leading down into the cabin. The wheelhouse and the hull of the craft were both painted white, in stark contrast to the dark wood that panelled the rest of the ship.

  Valerie was beaming at her, her eyes bright with joy at Lauren’s reaction.

  “Welcome to the Liebeslied, our home for the night.”

  “Oh Valerie how? How can we stay here, whose boat is this?”

  “A very, very dear old family friend gave me a standing invitation. An invitation I’d like to extend to you.”

  Valerie stepped lightly onto the vessel, set her bags down beside the stairs, and came back to offer a hand to Lauren.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive. Give me your hand and I’ll help you up.”

  Lauren accepted her aid and stepped onto the boat feeling like a princess. Valerie untied the two ropes holding the boat to the dock and settled herself at the helm. She looked a wild sight standing in the starlight at the wheel. Two small but powerful inboard motors powered up and the craft slide seamlessly through the stillness of the water. They cruised away from the dock and into the middle of a small bay leading to a large river.

  Lauren admired her host. She looked strong, capable, and as comfortable on the water as she had been in her massive truck. The air around them was cool and refreshing after spending so much time in the confines of an automobile. She closed her eyes and listened to the dull rumble of the engines as they carried her into the night. She opened her eyes when the engines died again, turning around to look at Valerie.

  “We’re stopping?”

  Valerie nodded and flipped a switch, sending an anchor plunging into the dark waters below.

  “Do you, do you mind if I stretch a bit?”

  Valerie looked pleased.

  “Of course not, that’s half the reason I brought you out here!”

  Lauren smiled and stretched her wings wide. Conscious of her audience she leapt into the sky with a little more flair than usual. She enjoyed the appreciative gasp of her companion as she rocketed upward. She left the now gently rocking boat below and frolicked in the sky. She lost herself in the unmatched joy of turning, diving, and climbing through the air. She finally leveled off, breathing heavily and sweating lightly in the breeze. Far below her was the boat and her companion. She felt guilty, unsure exactly how long she had been goofing off.

  It must have been a while, because when she reached the boat again she could see that Valerie had been quite busy. A large comforter had been laid out on the flat deck of the boat, and a small feast of breads, sliced meat and cheeses were piled in the center. Valerie was nowhere to be seen, so Lauren reasoned she must be below.

  Lauren alighted softly on the boat and set it gently rocking again.

  “Valerie?”

  “Coming!”

  Valerie emerged from below decks, a pair of wine glasses in one hand and a bottle in the other. Lauren missed a step and stumbled. Valerie was wearing an emerald green bikini and a thin colorful wrap around her waist. The top artfully covered just what it needed to, and nothing else. Her petite, well-proportioned bust was held at bay by a small shining clasp from which three tiny jewels hung. The gems led Lauren’s gaze down her flat stomach to her smoothly curving hips.

  Valerie’s laugh made Lauren turn a deep scarlet. She hoped Valerie would mistake it for the flush of exertion from flying.

  “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind. It just seemed right, you know? Being on a boat after all?”

  Lauren shook her head maybe a bit too vigorously.

  “No no, it’s absolutely fine.”

  She felt suddenly very aware of her own attire. She was still wearing the thin dress and lingerie she had taken with her when she left Weyland’s.

  “Do you, um, have anything I could change into?”

  “Yes of course! I’ve left a bag downstairs with clothes for you. There’s a swimsuit as well if you wanted... as well as some other things that should fit you.”

  Lauren stepped quickly down into the belly of the boat, keenly aware of the heat she felt in her face and elsewhere. Most of the cabin was taken up by a bed and a small kitchen area. The bed had a variety of clothes set out and a suitcase. Well, perhaps set out was a strong way to describe it. It looked like a miniature version of the back of Valerie's truck.

  Lauren slipped out of her clothing and caught sight of a mirror. She did a double-take at the black-haired woman she saw there. She took a moment to really examine herself for the first time since she had woken up. Her ebony feathers and deep black hair accented her pale skin and newly darkened eyes in a sensual, dangerous-looking way.

  The runway-thin look of her childhood had softened into the form before her now. Her stomach wasn’t as chiseled as Valerie’s, but it was fit. Her hips and bust had widened a little over the past few years, but she was still trim and athletically built. Lauren brushed her hair back and ran a hand down her side. She felt an unusual confidence in her naked form as she turned back and forth, examining herself from different angles.

  “Lauren? Everything alright?”

  She started, afraid that Valerie might come down and see her.

  “I’m alright, just finishing up!”

  She dug through the clothes, struggling to decide what exactly she wanted to express to her friend. Her time with Valerie, though short, had already emboldened her. Her example of strength and surety started to rub off on Lauren. She held up a red bikini top not unlike the one Valerie was wearing. She tied the thin strings together and looked herself over. The garment was small for her, and there was just enough string to tie it properly behind her back. The bright cherry color screamed for attention and complimented her dark shoulder-length hair. She found the matching bottoms and was suddenly less sure of her choice. If the top was revealing then these were scandalous. All told, the strappy fabric wouldn’t have been enough to make a decent sized glove.

  Lauren took stock of herself in the mirror.

  What do you want?

  Her mind wandered and as she pondered the question she felt her cheeks flush and warmth building within her. She stepped into the bikini bottom and slid the delicate item up to her hips. As a parting thought she grabbed a wide black shawl, twisting it around her hips to make a short skirt like her host’s.

  Lauren took the steps two at a time, rushing to get back to the deck. Valerie was sitting with her back to the stairs, looking out over the water and
sipping a glass of white wine.

  She glanced back over her shoulder and spit out her wine at the sight of Lauren.

  Lauren flushed with pride, her confidence magnifying tenfold. She tried to look innocent but she put an extra sway in her hips as she strode over to her speechless companion. Valerie followed her, slack-jawed.

  “Cat got your tongue?”

  Lauren reached out and gently lifted Valerie’s still-dropped jaw, closing her mouth for her playfully. Valerie recovered, shaking her head and smiling sheepishly. She didn’t stop staring.

  “Well, that was very classy of me. Lauren, you look stunning.”

  The warmth inside her spread from her cheeks to her chest and lower. Lauren reached across her friend and grabbed the bottle of wine and wine glass waiting for her. She intentionally mirrored Valerie’s actions from the night before, getting close enough that she could feel Valerie’s breath on her neck.

  The women sipped wine and flirted as the stars spun above. The drink flowed freely and the two had a light buzz in no time. The air between them felt like a thunderstorm, and Lauren couldn’t wait for lightning to strike. She turned to Valerie to speak, but her friend was already moving.

  Valerie stood and walked to the edge of the boat, staring out into the dark waters surrounding them. She cast a playful look over her shoulder and made a show of taking off the colorful wrap adorning her hips. She tossed it at Lauren and stepped off into the river, plunging into the water with a tiny splash.

  She stayed down just long enough that Lauren started to worry before surfacing again. She leaned on the edge of the boat and wiped her slick hair out of her eyes.

  “Join me?”

  Lauren crawled to the edge of the boat, laying down a foot or so away from Valerie and resting her chin in her palms. She twitched her wings.

  “Have you seen these things?”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Valerie splashed her lightly and then jetted away before Lauren could retaliate. She looked as at home in the water as Lauren felt in the skies. Lauren was content to watch her swim about in the blackness. She wondered if Valerie had done the same while she flew about. Lauren couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret that she couldn’t join Valerie. More than just the water looked inviting.