The Crush

by Ward , Penelope

  Farrah jumped into the pool, and her boy toy followed suit. I continued to stay in the kitchen, slicing tomato and onion murderously as I stole glances out at the water. It was a wonder I didn’t chop my finger off.

  Nathan came up behind me. “He seems okay.”

  I practically jumped at the sound of his voice. Damn, was I on edge.

  “Yeah. Too early to tell,” I said as I maimed a tomato.

  He looked out at the pool and turned to me. “Since we’re hanging out here all day, you should invite someone over.”

  “Why would I do that? Wouldn’t you be outnumbered?”

  “Actually…” He flashed a smile. “This chick from work is coming by. So…”

  “A chick?” I grinned. “Who’s this? And why haven’t you told me about her?”

  “Her name is Crystal. She works the front desk at the dealership. She’s cool.”

  “Nice. It’s about damn time.”

  “Whatever happened to that Alyssa girl?” he asked.

  Alyssa was the last thing on my mind.

  “Nothing. She’s been texting me a lot. I just haven’t seen her.”

  “Why don’t you invite her over?”

  I couldn’t think of one reason not to, even if the thought didn’t excite me. It might’ve seemed strange if I insisted on hanging out alone when Nathan had a girl coming over. I certainly didn’t want to be the fifth wheel. And I couldn’t bolt, as much as I wanted to skip this entire pool party.

  Reluctantly, I took out my phone and texted Alyssa.

  Jace: Hey. What are you up to this afternoon?

  Her response was almost immediate.

  Alyssa: Just doing some shopping. Why?

  Jace: Would you want to come over for some burgers by the pool? We’re having a little get together.

  Alyssa: I would love that! Who’s we?

  Jace: Nathan, his sister, and a couple of their friends.

  Alyssa: Ah. Yup. Sounds like fun.

  Jace: Cool. Pick you up in an hour?

  There’d been no doubt in my mind that she was going to say yes, considering she’d texted me almost every single day since we’d met, despite the fact that I hadn’t shown much interest.

  Alyssa: I’m heading home now. So that will be perfect.

  If Alyssa could get my mind off Farrah for even a minute, inviting her over would be worth it.

  Chapter 13

  * * *

  Farrah

  She was so damn pretty that it made me want to pull my hair out—or maybe chew it like the old days. The moment Jace walked in with Alyssa, I regretted telling him he should resume bringing girls to the house. What the hell was I thinking? I’d said it to be fair, but the current situation was proof that it wasn’t something I could handle.

  Alyssa checked me out just as much as I did her. It was basically a staring contest. I caught her ogling my breasts. She caught me staring at her perfect nose and silky blond hair. Then she’d move her hand over to Jace’s leg, and my eyes would follow as a form of self-torture. The fact that my attention had shifted so dramatically from Colton to what was going on between Alyssa and Jace was a real eye-opener. I’d thought maybe I was turning a corner, finding a way to move on with Colton. My jealousy-induced inability to focus proved otherwise.

  Poor Colton. The guy could not have been any nicer. He just didn’t do it for me the way Jace did. I didn’t have an uncontrollable need to jump him, didn’t feel the intense attraction through my core that I felt any time Jace was in the room.

  Jace took Alyssa’s empty bottle as he stood up. “You want another beer?”

  “I’d love one,” she said.

  The fact that he waited on her and ignored me shouldn’t have bothered me, given that I was sitting next to the guy I was dating. Colton looked at me adoringly as I stewed over my screwed-up feelings.

  Nathan and Crystal played around in the pool while the rest of us continued to hang out on the loungers. I forced small talk with Colton while trying to control my feelings.

  It was exhausting. I excused myself to the bathroom, promising to get Colton a beer on my way back. Once inside, I splashed some water on my face.

  When I opened the door to exit, Jace was walking down the hall toward me.

  He stopped. “I’m just…going to grab an extra towel.”

  His body was a few inches from mine, and I could feel its heat. My gaze traveled the length of his carved chest before moving to his face. We stared into each other’s eyes for a few tense seconds as he towered over me. I finally forced myself to put one foot in front of the other and go back outside.

  As I landed back in my seat next to Colton, my body still quivered from the encounter.

  “Did you forget my beer?” Colton asked.

  Shit. “I’m sorry. I did.”

  “No worries.” He got up. “I’ll get it. Want one?”

  I wiped some sweat off my forehead. “No, thanks.”

  Later, after the sun went down, Nathan thought it would be a good idea if the six of us watched a movie. After much debate, we finally settled on one of the old Bourne films with Matt Damon, because Crystal had never seen that series.

  Jace and Alyssa made popcorn in the kitchen while Nathan pulled the movie up on the TV. Nathan let Crystal have his usual spot in the chair, and he grabbed a pillow and sat on the floor by her legs. I had settled into a seat on the couch next to Colton, who had chosen to sit at the end. That meant there was a chance I’d be sitting next to Jace.

  God. All I could think about was getting to sit next to Jace?

  When Alyssa and Jace finally returned to the living room, I straightened in my seat and tried to seem nonchalant as Jace approached. Then he sat next to me, giving Alyssa no choice but to sit at the far end of the couch. Had he intended to do that? This would be my first time sitting close to him knowing what it was like to kiss him. Knowing that he was attracted to me. Knowing that he wanted me. Knowing that he’d been on to my last movie night leg game all along. With four of us sitting in a row, it was a tighter fit than normal, so I didn’t even have to move my leg closer to his; we were naturally pressed together like sardines.

  Nathan started the movie, but I couldn’t concentrate. I enjoyed the heat from Jace’s body and obsessed about how I was going to handle Colton later. How could I continue things with him when this entire day had solidified the fact that I was still completely and utterly obsessed with someone else?

  About twenty minutes into the movie, I shifted my leg to the left so it leaned even more into Jace’s. I must’ve been a despicable person, because Colton grabbed my hand at almost the same exact time, and I still didn’t shift my leg away. I wanted every bit of the contact I was receiving from my left. My body was on fire. And if there was any doubt as to whether this entire thing was mutual, when I inadvertently moved my leg away, Jace leaned his leg back onto mine. It didn’t even feel discreet anymore.

  Lord.

  This had to end. In that moment, I knew it was over with Colton, because this was just wrong. Even if nothing could ever happen between Jace and me, tonight was a testament that nothing much was happening with Colton either. I wanted to like him…but I couldn’t fall for him hard enough.

  As I pretended to be into the movie, I felt like I was going to explode. There was a chance Jace might go home with Alyssa tonight—or worse, that she’d sleep here. I’d do nothing but toss and turn thinking about it. I knew Colton was hoping I’d leave with him tonight, too. He’d proposed getting a hotel since he lived with his parents and never had any privacy. I’d been making excuses, because I wasn’t ready to take that step. I knew now I never would be—not with him, at least.

  After the movie ended, we all retreated to the kitchen. Alyssa sank into one of the chairs at the table and kicked her feet up. Her body language made it clear she wasn’t anywhere near ready to leave. I was sure she had her heart set on staying right here, hoping to make her way into Jace’s bedroom tonight. That drove me insane.

&
nbsp; Colton wrapped his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “Want to get out of here? Take a ride? Maybe find a place?”

  That was my cue. As hard as it would be to hurt him, I had to do the right thing.

  “Can we take a walk outside?” I asked, my throat feeling parched.

  He frowned, clearly sensing something in my tone. “Sure.”

  Colton followed me out to the front of the house. It was quiet on our street, aside from the sound of crickets chirping.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked. “You seem like something’s bothering you.”

  Looking down at my feet, I said, “Colton…I’m really sorry. I know you’ve wanted us to be alone and take that next step, but I’m just not there. And…I don’t think I ever will be.” I looked back up at him. “This just isn’t working out.”

  He looked at me strangely. “I’m sorry…did I miss something? You brought me here to meet your brother because we were getting more serious. We have a great day, everyone seems to be getting along, we watch a movie, and at some point during that time, you decide you don’t want to be with me anymore? Am I understanding that correctly?”

  “I know it seems sudden, but I’ve been struggling for a while.” Don’t say it. “It’s not you…it’s me.”

  Ugh. I said it.

  I should be shot for that.

  He bent his head back and looked at the sky. “Just fucking great. Feed me that damn line on top of everything? You should’ve just told me to get out and slammed the door in my face. That would’ve been less painful.”

  Despite his belligerent tone, I felt bad for him. I deserved the attitude because I had misled him. “I’m so sorry, Colton. I really am. You’re a wonderful guy, and you deserve the world. That’s why I don’t want to waste any more of your precious time.”

  He let out a long breath before looking me in the eyes. “You sure about this?”

  Feeling terrible, I simply nodded.

  It took him several seconds to process that. “Well…take care of yourself, I guess. Not sure what else to say.”

  “You too.”

  I stood on the sidewalk as he got into his car. A horrible feeling developed in the pit of my stomach as I second-guessed myself for a moment. Had I just made a mistake? He was such a stand-up guy. I shook my head, reminding myself that I needed to follow my intuition—and my heart. They were telling me to move on, and that I needed to talk to Jace tonight. Urgently.

  When I returned to the kitchen, everyone turned to me. Jace’s stare was particularly penetrating.

  “What happened to Colton?” Nathan asked.

  “He…went home.”

  My brother looked confused. “I assumed you were leaving with him.”

  “No, uh, he had to get some stuff done.”

  It didn’t seem like the right moment to drop the bomb that I’d dumped the sweet guy they’d all met today. There was no explanation that would have made sense to them.

  Alyssa put her arm around Jace, and I cringed. His eyes were still boring into mine, though. I turned and got a glass of water, busying myself in the kitchen, and after a moment, Alyssa got up to use the bathroom.

  Relief washed over me. It felt like my one chance to communicate with Jace.

  Once she was fully out of sight, I turned to him and mouthed, Please.

  He swallowed hard.

  I didn’t know what my request meant, wasn’t sure exactly what I was begging him for.

  Please…put me out of my misery?

  Please…don’t take her back to your room tonight?

  Please…let’s just go somewhere?

  It wasn’t like Jace could ask me what the hell I meant, either.

  Nathan stood and took Crystal into the living room. Now it was just Jace and me. I was about to say something more when Alyssa came out of the bathroom.

  To my surprise, Jace suddenly stood. “I need to drive you home.”

  Alyssa seemed caught off guard. “Oh…you have somewhere to be?”

  “I have an early morning tomorrow.”

  I didn’t know where any of this was going until he turned to me. “You said you needed a ride to Kellianne’s, right?”

  Holy shit. “Uh…yeah. My car shit the bed again.”

  His eyes were piercing. “I can take you.”

  My heart beat rapidly as I nodded. “Okay…thank you.”

  Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Your car never seems to be running.”

  Jace went to the living room. “Nice meeting you, Crystal,” I heard him say.

  “Where are you going?” Nathan asked.

  “Driving Alyssa home and dropping Farrah off at Kellianne’s.”

  “You’re going to Kellianne’s this late?” he called to me.

  “She’s…going through some stuff. She just wants some company.”

  He seemed to buy it. “Oh…okay.” Nathan was so into Crystal, I probably could have started a fire in the kitchen tonight and he wouldn’t have noticed.

  “Really nice meeting you, Crystal,” I said.

  “You too, Farrah. Maybe we can grab coffee sometime.”

  “I’d love that.” I smiled and gave Nathan a discreet wink to show my approval.

  Goose bumps peppered my skin as I followed Jace and Alyssa out to his truck. She climbed into the passenger seat next to him while I had no choice but to sit in the back. But I told myself to be patient. As soon as he dropped her off, I would have him all to myself. My body buzzed with excitement and nerves. I couldn’t believe he’d taken me up on my vague Please. He’d translated what I’d asked for: alone time with him.

  The ride was silent and uncomfortable. I could practically feel Alyssa’s disdain seeping through the back of her seat. Jace turned on the radio, maybe to drown out the quiet.

  “Are you dropping her off first?” she finally asked him.

  “No. It makes sense to drop you off first.”

  When we got to her house, Alyssa turned to him after she let herself out. “Call me soon?”

  “Yep,” he said noncommittally.

  She leaned her head toward the backseat. “Have a good night, Farrah.”

  “You too.”

  As a courtesy, I waited for her to enter the house before getting out of the backseat and moving to the passenger side. As I sank into the leather, I felt more relaxed than I had all night. Being next to Jace again felt like home.

  He wouldn’t look at me as we drove off.

  “Where are we going?” I asked after a couple of minutes of tense silence.

  He laughed almost angrily. “Beats the fuck out of me.”

  “Thank you for making time for me. I know my message was vague.”

  His eyes darted toward me. “I knew what you wanted.”

  That gave me chills.

  My eyes fixed on his hands gripping the steering wheel.

  “What happened with you and Colton tonight?” he asked.

  “I told him I couldn’t see him anymore.”

  His breath hitched. “I thought you liked him.”

  “Not the way I like you,” I said matter-of-factly.

  Jace sucked in some more air. “This is so messed up, Farrah. You were with that dude, and I was supposed to be with Alyssa, but all I wanted was to sit next to you during that goddamn movie just so I could fucking touch you.”

  His words made the muscles between my legs contract.

  Jace finally stopped at the same desolate playground parking lot we’d visited once before.

  He shut off the ignition. “You asked where we were going.” After a pause that lasted several seconds, he said, “Pretty sure it’s hell.”

  Then he leaned in and kissed me like I’d never been kissed before.

  Chapter 14

  * * *

  Jace

  My tongue was practically all the way down Farrah’s throat; I’d never felt so out of control in my life. All of the reasons I knew I shouldn’t have been doing this went out the window the second my mouth was on hers. The only
thing that mattered right now was tasting her. I’d been starving all day, ready to lose my mind from jealousy. And this was my reward for the slow torture of having to watch her with him.

  Every whimper that escaped her made my dick swell harder. I pulled her hair to bend her head back and suck on her neck, as if I were trying to draw sweet nectar out of her skin.

  “Why do you have to be so damn beautiful?” I whispered, lowering my mouth to her breasts.

  Farrah made an unintelligible sound as I sucked her tender nubs through the fabric of her dress.

  She wasn’t wearing a bra. I told myself I wasn’t going to undress her, but as soon as she pulled the top of her dress down, I eagerly took her bare breast into my mouth. If I’d thought her neck tasted good, it was nothing compared to this. I knew there were other parts of her that were even sweeter—parts I really needed to avoid touching tonight before there’d be no turning back. I pried my mouth away from one tit and showed love to the other as she raked her fingers through my hair. With every tug of her hand, every moan that escaped her, I felt like I was spiraling. There wasn’t an iota of control left in me.

  “I want you, Jace. Please...I want you inside of me.”

  “No,” I responded. I had to do everything in my power to resist.

  What she said next nearly undid me.

  “I want to taste your cock. Let me suck you.”

  “Jesus, Farrah.” I pulled back, my dick throbbing in protest. “We’re not having sex tonight. Any kind of sex. Don’t say shit like that.”

  She looked flushed. “Okay.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or disappointed or both. “We just...need to take this easy, okay?”

  She licked her lips, and that’s all it took. Despite my words, the urge to devour her mouth again won out as I pulled her back into me, this time kissing her angrily—angry at her for being such a damn cocktease, and angry at myself for my inability to resist.

  “What am I gonna fucking do with you?” I muttered, my tongue halfway down her throat.