My thirst was too intense to ignore. Scooting to the end of the bed, I climbed off and headed into the bathroom. I caressed the finely woven material of the robe I found hanging there, and pulled it on, breathing in the delicate scent of James’ cologne.
Wrapped in an enormous amount of warm snugness, I walked back into the bedroom and glanced over at my two lovers, who were still asleep.
Those two gorgeous and very secretive men had a history.The sleeping beauty of a man lying beside Xavier was the one who had launched my life into chaos. But after last night’s revelation, everything had fallen into place. The reason for his possessiveness had finally been revealed, and had brought about an understanding that made enduring all this a little easier.
Before now, I had touched the veil but never seen beyond it. Faced true power but not truly comprehended it. And found love but was destined to never reach its pinnacle.
I’d fallen under James’ spell—just like Xavier, who was caught in the web of his mentor’s allure. I was being drawn toward this man like the pull of centrifugal force, no matter how much I tried to resist. There was no going back.
What now?
Weeks of pleasure before they sent me away? Even with the knowledge that pain waited for me on the other side of this decision to stay, I’d refused to deny myself these precious moments…these unbidden pleasures from those two charismatic men. Quite simply, after everything, this was what I’d needed to heal.
All that was left was to savor every erotic interaction, every inspiring conversation, every stolen kiss and kind word that I hungered for.
Time spent with James was enlightening. Most of all it was opening my heart again so I could play my violin with the kind of passion that would see my ambition realized. Those days without Xavier were too terrible to bear.
Those who have been burned up, obliterated and renewed, are the fearless ones who blindly fly toward the stars because they have nothing left to lose.
I wasn’t going back to that place of loneliness where I would have to be without Xavier. I was going to find a way to keep us together.
Ballad had asked me what I wanted that only he could deliver. I wanted to play my violin for the masses—that was my dream—but I wanted to make it on my own terms.
More than this…I wanted to marry Xavier.
I was willing to do anything to see this become a reality.
Barefoot on the cold stone floor, I retraced my steps back to the dining room, the location of where those secrets had become known.
James had finally shared it all with me—or as much as possible, though his motivation was still unclear. Perhaps he wanted me to have a greater understanding of his actions. Perhaps he needed to be remembered as a man who was good, who had dedicated his life to a greater purpose.
The demonstration of Xavier’s astounding memory had nearly overwhelmed me. My own memories were now tinged with another perspective, one that included knowing he had lived through our mutual experiences differently. He’d held onto our shared moments with a clarity that I could only barely comprehend.
All evidence of our dinner here last night was gone. The room had returned to its pristine state. James had returned this space to order. And that, I realized, was what he needed—to control his universe and everyone in it.
My imagination ran wild with what they had done when I had gone to bed. They’d possibly shared a late-night drink and talked some more, or shared a kiss, perhaps they’d made love.
I felt a twinge of jealousy, but pushed that thought away and continued on to the kitchen.
I grabbed a glass from a cupboard and held it beneath the refrigerator door’s dispenser. Gulping the water and finally quenching my thirst, I took time to admire the modern appliances that tastefully blended with the ancient décor.
Memories of what we had done together in this vast place was etched in my mind, and I clung to them for the comfort they brought. Each kiss from them meant we were becoming more. Surely this was a beginning and not an end?
Wiping my hand across my mouth, I had the vague thought that James woulddisapprove of my uncouth gesture.
Although he’d promised to show me around, it was too enticing a place to wait to explore. After placing my glass in the sink, I left the kitchen, enthused by a rush of intrigue that made me long to see more.
The dark wood hallways were lined with grand oil paintings of serious-looking figures, all of them having been immortalized by talented painters over a century ago. Antique pieces of weaponry hung along other corridors, enhancing the medieval atmosphere and proving that Ballad had gotten his lust for blood from his ancestors.
It made me wonder how he felt about never being able to inherit the crown.
He’d taken the power anyway.
I entered another hallway and noticed that the door at the end was standing ajar. I stepped into a vast office that doubled as an impressive library. Thousands of books were stacked in dark wooden floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. A sofa rested in the center of the room, facing four leather chairs, all of them positioned upon a red and gold weaved rug. The scent of pine needles emanated from a giant stone hearth, atop which was carved a shield with two lions on either side and a crown above them. I assumed it was Ballad’s family crest.
Nearing one of the bookshelves, I fingered the ancient spines as I scanned the many classics. Easing one of them out, I opened it and saw it was a first edition dating back a hundred years. James’ rare collection would make historians dizzy with envy.
Time dissolved as I breathed in the antique book smell that was a heady combination of earth and burned vanilla, wood and smoke.
Continuing on around the room, I admired the other antique objects, like the rusty keys that were displayed in a glass case. A feather pen was showcased, it’s end stained where it had been dipped in ink. Beside it, leather-bound folders were stacked high on a tall table inlaid with leather, and a strange white rope behind a glass frame hinted that the item was of a nautical origin. Reaching a desk, I noticed a thick book, its pages filled with military submarines from around the world.
My fingers trailed along the edge toward the left drawer…
Something moved in my peripheral vision and I let out a yelp.
James was standing across the room.
Dressed in jeans and a white shirt, he looked surprisingly awake. Only his tousled hair gave away the fact that he’d just woken. He was holding two mugs, wisps of steam spiraling up from each.
“Can’t sleep,” I said by way of apology.
“Me neither. Xavier, on the other hand.”
“He does love his sleep.”
“When he’s asleep his mind is quiet.”
“But he has dreams.”
“He does.”
There was only one way he’d know that. I wondered if he still dreamed of me.
James came closer. “Warm enough?”
I looked down at the robe I was wearing. “It’s cozy.”
“Glad you like it.”
“I should have asked to borrow it.”
“I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to wear it.”
Okay. Who swept in during the night and gave this man a personality transplant?
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“You made tea?”
“Milk, no sugar, right?”
I nodded.
Hours ago, he’d been intent on making my life hell. I liked this new version, the one where he gave me blinding orgasms and made us tea. He was coming around to like me more, it seemed.
He seemed to read my thoughts. “I feel we made progress.”
“Oh?”
“We’ve established that you want what’s best for Xavier. And for the country.”
I reached out and accepted the mug, welcoming the heat against my palms. “I love him. I would never hurt him.”
“It’s the letting go that’s the problem.”
“It was hard for you, too, then?” I dug at his heart.
His gorgeous fac
e wore an unreadable expression.
“This place is endless,” I said, changing the subject.
“It is.”
“How much time do you spend here?”
“A good amount.”
“Did you grow up here?”
“I spent a lot of time abroad.”
“Where?”
He hesitated and then said softly, “In sunnier climates.”
“Like where?” Mr. Mystery.
He caught his bottom lip between his teeth to stop himself from answering. He even made uncertainty look sexy.
I took a sip of my tea and it was warm and refreshing.
“Your father worked there?” I pushed.
“No.”
My mind searched for the reason he’d grown up away from England.
“Are you warm enough?” He gestured to the fireplace. “I can light it if you like. If you want to stay and read.”
I gestured to the bookshelves. “Have you read any of them?”
He looked surprised. “Of course.”
“It would take a lifetime.”
“I started young.”
“You live alone?”
“There are staff.”
“That’s not the same.”
“They’re like family.” James gave me a smile.
With each passing second, I saw why Xavier liked him. It was as though he was finally pulling down his wall and letting me in—even if some of the details were sketchy.
“How do you feel about us being together again?” I asked.
He mulled it over. “It pleases him.”
Still. “Xavier seems happy now.”
He looked away and sighed. “Well, he got what he wanted.”
“Are you only sleeping with me for his sake?”
“I don’t think it was the sleeping together that necessarily pleased him.”
“The fucking then.”
He avoided answering me, instead taking a sip of his hot tea.
“I’m the only one who truly gets him,” I chided.
“If Xavier was a country, you would merely have visited the capital.”
“I lived with him.”
“His biggest fear?”
“He doesn’t seem scared of anything.”
“His biggest fear is of anything happening to you.”
I raised my mug in a toast. “And you threaten him with that to control him.”
“Anyone close to us is at risk.”
“Find someone else who does what he does.”
“There is no one.”
“Are you jealous of what he can do?”
“God, no. His gift is a curse.”
“How do you think of him? Simply as a genius?”
“He’s even beyond that. He’s unique.”
“You knew where he was the whole time. You spied on us.”
“I gave him the time he needed to decompress.”
“Then you came for him.”
James smiled. “I let him have you. I allowed you to have him.”
“How generous.”
“I have my moments.”
“We share the experience of knowing what it is to love him,” I said. “The intensity of his affection.”
He strolled over to one of the bookcases and paused before it. “How adventurous are you?”
“Turns out I’m really adventurous.”
He thumped the bookcase with his fist.
It made me jump and tea swooshed around in my mug. Nothing spilled out, thank goodness, as I was standing on a Persian rug.
A door swung open revealing a dark passageway. A throwback to when the castle was at risk of being under siege.
“Where does it lead?”
“Want to find out?”
Heading into the dark unknown with him was potentially a bad idea. “What about my drink?”
“Bring it.”
I blew off a niggling feeling of doubt and followed him into passageway, a chill meeting us as we entered the darkness. James walked beside me with the confidence of a man who knew every inch of this place. The only noise I heard was our footsteps and my shaky breaths. Even if danger loomed, I was mad for letting him put distance between myself and Xavier. Enough distance to silence my screams. And yet…this was exhilarating.
He was exhilarating.
James gave a panel a punch and another doorway opened. We stepped into a living room that was cozily decorated and modern and for the first time I had a sense of James’ true taste in furniture and the arts.
He shut the door behind us.
I wanted to trust this moment, trust him, but he was a hard man to read and that hint of the sinister about him put me on edge. Despite that, it was wrong of my thoughts to go there, back to the way he’d touched me in the bedroom. The way he’d tasted, or even the way his body felt crushed to mine. This was me craving more time with him. I was being honest with myself, at least.
“These are your private rooms?” I said.
“My living quarters.”
The thought of him never taking me hard again filled me with dread. If he could read me as well as I believed, he knew this, too. He’d welcomed my submission, allowing him to lead us to this place he controlled. Like he controlled everything.
“I’ll show you around.”
The room lit up as sensors detected our movements.
We stepped into another study, its walls covered with photos of Officers in the Royal Navy. Each frame held a picture of military men in a line-up, dressed in their fine uniforms. Something told me if I searched their faces, I’d see his.
Neatly stacked files rested upon a simple desk, with a sleek computer monitor rounding out the modern feel. The computer was unplugged, and now I knew why. He didn’t want an AI system hooked up in here.
Strolling over to one of the photos, I read the inscription above it that revealed this formal shot was of a line-up of submarine captains, James being one of them. He looked younger, but that firm jaw and his dashing aura made him easy to spot. And God, if he didn’t look hot in uniform…
“You worked on submarines?”
His smile reflected a time in his life he’d enjoyed.
“You were the captain of one?” I said, impressed.
He gestured. “This way.”
The thought of him mastering one of those impressive vessels made my flesh tingle with pride for him. Or maybe it was the way my arm brushed over his as we entered through the doorway, too close to avoid each other.
James led me to his bedroom.
A grey and white themed decor complemented the low bed with its high-backed headboard.
His real bed…
From the way he kept his distance, I could tell he had no intention of taking me on it. Not yet, anyway.
I couldn’t resist strolling into his walk-in wardrobe for more clues. James followed me in and I flashed him a wry smile, running my hand along a row of bespoke suits. In the center was a chest stacked with expensive-looking shoes.
“Why did you leave the Navy?” I asked.
“I switched careers.”
“You joined Pervade?”
He gave me a reluctant smile.
I pulled out a drawer and peered in at a fine selection of watches. Farther down were more drawers filled with elegant ties.
“What’s in there?” I pointed to a steel door.
“My doomsday collection.”
“Supplies? Are you serious?”
“You’ll never know.”
“Until you let me in there.”
“If I let you in.” His words sounded seductive.
“When the world falls apart, I’ll come here.”
“I’m afraid it’s already fallen apart.”
“And whose fault is that?” I teased.
“I’ll come get you…how about that?” Shadows danced over his devastatingly handsome features.
As though picking up on my scrutiny, he raked a hand through his hair. With that stubble peppering his jaw, he
oozed a sensual masculinity that was dangerously alluring.Thoughts of how he’d controlled Xavier and I in his bed flashed through my thoughts, taunting me.
Luckily, the heavy material of his robe hid my beading nipples. I squeezed my thighs together as the delicious soreness in my pussy throbbed, reminding me of what he was capable of.
“Welcome to my private chambers, Ms. Rampling.” His lips curled in an erotic smile. “Only the elite get to see it.”
“Elite?”
“The ones I like to fuck.”
In that moment I knew Xavier would never give him up. James was too devastatingly gorgeous, too charismatic. Whatever had brought them together had forged a bond that made the one I had with him seem pale in comparison.
I stared into his eyes. “How long were you lovers?”
“Don’t do this to yourself.”
“It helps to make sense of everything. My heart is breaking.”
“I know.”
“Where did you meet?”
James stilled and then said softly, “The Far East.”
“How?”
“I was commissioned to escort him to a location.”
“While you were in the Navy?” I mulled it over. “Why did you say you were a lawyer?”
“I’m allowed to lie.” He arched a brow.
There was too much information being exchanged and I nosedived from exhilaration to terror. If he was willing to share these details it could mean he no longer saw me as a threat. And there was only one reason for that…
“Pervade is part of the Secret Service?”
“Careful…”
“I’m intrigued.”
“I’m telling you as much as possible without endangering you.”
“Why would it be bad for me to know more?”
“People want to hurt me.”
“That helicopter crash…” I narrowed my gaze. “They thought it was you.”
“Apparently you saved my life, Emily. You pulled me back here to deal with you. Obviously, I’d rather fuck than be shot out of the sky.”
A chill descended over me as his words hit home.
“I may or may not regret letting you take me,” I said.
“Always the charmer.” He winked.
“You didn’t like him at first?”
James looked surprised. “I thought Xavier was…complicated.”
“What happened to cause your attitude to change?” For him to fall in love.
The Pervade Duet Page 19