If You Let Me: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance

by Nikki Lane

  “Please?” He sat on the edge of the piano bench.

  I waited for a few seconds before walking over and sitting down. I took a deep breath and rested my fingers over the keys. It’d been a while since I had an audience. My fingers fluttered over the keys as I played Bach’s Invention No. 4. I felt Kieran’s eyes on me. I’d played this song so many times, and it felt like slipping into a comfortable pair of shoes. It was a fast song but still had the undertones of something sad and dark. The music trembled from the piano, flowing into my ears, prickling the memories in the back of my head.

  “Wow,” Kieran muttered when it was over. I could see the music reflected in his face, the notes mapped out in his eyes. “That was incredible. How long have you been playing?”

  “Since I was little. I started taking lessons when I was six.” I closed the lid shut, remembering when I used to sit on Mom’s lap as she set my hands over the keys.

  It was the one thin thread that still connected us. After she left, I wanted nothing more than to quit. But after a while, I decided not to give up. I started to appreciate the times when I could make an empty room feel not so empty anymore. Even if it was only while I was playing the song. I got up from the bench and quickly gathered a change of clothes for Dad.

  Kieran wandered into my old room. It still had the pink and white wallpaper and white furniture. Posters of boy bands were carefully aligned against the wall. My collection of books was categorized on the bookshelf. I leaned against the frame of the open door as he pulled a book out.

  “Harry Potter?” He fanned the pages.

  “Careful,” I said when he went to put it back.

  I took the book out and put it in the right place.

  He raised his eyebrows.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” he said with a smirk. He sat on the bed. “Your room is very…organized.”

  “Organization is calming to me. I spent a lot of time in here.”

  He picked up one of my stuffed animals. Bun Bun. My trusted bunny and roommate.

  “We should go.” I snatched Bun Bun from his hand and set him back in his rightful place.

  As soon as Kieran was out of the room, I smoothed down the crease from his weight out of the comforter and followed him out.

  Twenty minutes later and we were waiting for an available elevator in the hospital lobby. There was a lot of walking traffic, people passing through with balloons and get well soon flower baskets.

  “Kieran,” a deep voice called.

  We both looked over to see a tall man with an olive complexion and round face. His deep-set chestnut eyes smiled as he approached us, wearing scrubs and a white coat.

  “Dr. Branson,” Kieran replied, only half smiling.

  The doctor held out his hand and reached for Kieran’s shoulder.

  “How are you?” he asked as Kieran returned the gesture. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

  I stood a few inches back, sensing Kieran’s hesitation.

  “I’m fine.” He turned to direct the attention to me. “This is my friend, Rose. She’s visiting her father.”

  “Hi,” I said.

  “It’s nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to me.

  I gave it an awkward shake as I fumbled with the things in my other hand.

  The elevator doors dinged open, and a crowd of people fell out.

  “It was nice seeing you, doc.” Kieran just about pushed me into the elevator.

  “You too, kid. I hope I’ll be seeing you soon, okay? Tell your dad I’ll see him on the golf course.”

  I smiled and waved as Dr. Branson wished my father well as the doors closed.

  “Family friend,” Kieran said as the elevator jolted to the third floor.

  We rounded the hallway to find the right room, a few passing nurses saying hello to Kieran.

  “Come here a lot?” I finally asked. It seemed that every other person recognized him.

  “My mom used to work in this hospital.”

  We found the room, and I could see Dad propped up in the bed, flickering through the channels on the TV. I knew he was missing his huge flat screen. I took a deep breath before going in.

  “I’ll wait here,” Kieran said.

  I nodded and headed inside the room. The first bed was empty. Dad’s bored expression lit up when he saw me.

  “There’s a sight for sore eyes,” he said.

  Scruffy stubble covered his lax jaw. His eyes were puffy, and his skin was dull.

  I leaned over and kissed his balding forehead. “Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?”

  “Not so bad. I have this little pump here that makes sure of that.” He picked it up and waved it around.

  “Nice.” I plopped the bag with his clothes on the empty bed and sat down on it. “Sorry, it took me so long to get here. My car wouldn’t start.”

  “Again?”

  “I know. It’s like I’m paying the mechanic to make it worse.”

  “How did you get here?” He winced a little as he tried sit up a little more.

  I moved to help him, but he gestured from me to sit back down.

  “I got a ride from a friend.”

  Dad’s gaze traveled behind me to the door. “Shelby? Where is she?”

  “No, not Shelby. My neighbor, Kieran.”

  I glanced back to catch Kieran making his stride past the opened door as he paced the hallway.

  I looked back at Dad. “What?” I asked, as he gave me a funny look.

  He held up both hands. “I didn’t say anything.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “Do I get to meet him?”

  “No.”

  “That’s not very polite.”

  I gave him a disconcerted look. “When can we spring you out of this place.” I got up to adjust his pillow.

  “Not for a few more hours. I haven’t even seen the doctor yet today.”

  “Okay, well I’ll stay with you until it’s time to go.”

  “What about your friend?” He said the word friend like it meant something else.

  “I’ll just get Shelby to come pick us up when you’re ready to leave.”

  “That’s silly of you to stay here with me. Besides, I already called Aunt Sarah. She can come get me.”

  “But you’re going to need help—”

  “I’ll be fine, Rose.” He smiled affectionately. “I want you to go. Go out. Be young while you still can. Stop worrying about this old man for a change.”

  He grabbed my arm and used it as leverage to propel me toward Kieran.

  Chapter 6

  “Don’t,” Shelby said over the phone. “Don’t you dare. You’re going to hang up the phone, put on the dress we decided on last night, and go out on a date with this guy…and possibly have insane, mind-altering sex.”

  I hit the side of my forehead with the phone. This was my second call to Shelby, threatening to call off the date. “Okay, read me the list. What’d you come up with?”

  She cleared her throat. “Okay…”

  Shelby rattled off the Googled roster of hot celebrity guys over forty.

  “Okay, not bad, not bad,” I said when she was done.

  “This is crucial,” she said, annunciating every word. “Make sure you wear the sexy underwear. Not the frumpy stuff you usually wear.”

  “I like the frumpy stuff,” I said. “Besides, I think frumpy is all I have.”

  “Dig deep,” she replied. “I know there’s something in that drawer.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Don’t drink so much. You want to remember what happens this time.”

  “You’re hilarious.” I let out a cynical chuckle. “This is ridiculous. Why am I doing this?”

  “Because he’s hot. You’re hot. And it’s been, like, an eternity since you’ve had a date. My grandmother goes out on more dates than you.”

  “That’s because she’s on every dating website known to man.”

  “Whatever. The point is—it’
s time.”

  Shelby gave me some last-minute instructions before ending the call. I spent the next hour plucking, exfoliating, shaving, and moisturizing. When that was all over, I still had plenty of time to put on makeup and get dressed. Or make that—squeeze my ass into the dress Shelby loaned me that was a size too small.

  Okay. I stared into the full-length mirror, scrutinizing my reflection. I found the last pair of sexy underwear I owned in the darkest part of my underwear drawer. The bra wasn’t an exact match, but it was close enough. My makeup was actually decent looking.

  I was in the middle of a showdown with the dress, hanging in the closet, when the doorbell chimed. I panicked. I checked the time on my phone and saw that I had a full twenty minutes before Callum said he would be here to pick me up.

  The doorbell rang again, and I scurried around the room, looking for the robe I flung on the floor. It wasn’t silk or even satin. It was flannel. Not sexy, but very comfy.

  I did one more check in the mirror, making sure there wasn’t a stray nipple poking out, before I jogged to the door.

  It wasn’t Callum. Not even close.

  “Kieran,” I said out of breath. I pushed back the hair from my forehead and fanned my face. Why was I so nervous? “What are you doing here?” I made no attempt to hide my disappointment.

  Kieran was dressed in black sweatpants and t-shirt and a black backward baseball cap. He looked like he was ready for his shift as a cat burglar.

  “I just wanted to apologize for not coming by tonight to work on the yard. I got a job done later than I expected and—”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, waving my hand. “No biggie.”

  I’d been so preoccupied by my date with Callum, I hadn’t even noticed Kieran wasn’t somewhere in the yard.

  “I wanted to know if you’d like to…maybe come to my house for something to eat?”

  I shook my head, my mouth hanging open. Why was I so disappointed that I’d already had plans? A night gussied up in tight-fitting polyester could have been sweatpants and a hoodie at Kieran’s.

  “I can’t tonight. But thank you.”

  His eyes squinted. “You look different.”

  “I do?”

  “Yeah, are you wearing makeup?”

  “I am, actually. I’m going out on a date tonight. Well, not a date. Well, yeah a date.” Just shut up.

  “A date?” Kieran’s mouth upturned into a half-cocked smile. “Should I stick around until he shows up, ya know, just in case?”

  “Thanks,” I said, kind of flattered by his offer. “But I think I’ll be all right.”

  “Well, maybe I should get some of these weeds pulled up. I’m already here.”

  “Really?” I asked. “But it’s a Saturday night, and it’s pitch black out here. Don’t you have some wild party to throw or something?”

  “Nope,” he replied, matter-of-factly. He made his way off the porch and toward my newly edged flowerbed. “Go ahead. Go finish getting ready. I won’t be long.”

  I didn’t have time to argue. Callum would be here any minute, and I was still wrapped in flannel. I managed to squeeze into the black dress and put on my heels without busting the zipper wide open. I couldn’t breathe and swallowing food would be a challenge.

  When the doorbell rang again, I knew it was Callum. Seven o’clock on the dot. I ran the brush through my hair once more, hit my wrists and neck with a spritz of perfume, and shellacked on another layer of lipstick. I eased my way to the front door, making sure not to take any big strides. This dress had to last me until at least dinner was over.

  “Callum,” I said. “It’s nice to see you.”

  His smile lit a fire somewhere deep in my body.

  “Rose.” He said my name like every time he did it hit him with a bolt of pleasure. “You look absolutely stunning.”

  “Thank you. And you look just as handsome as the last time I saw you.”

  “Shall we go?” He held out his arm for me to hold.

  “Sure.”

  Just as he was about to lead me off the porch, Kieran appeared from out of a shrub. I almost forgot that he was there. His glare immediately fell on Callum, and instead of a smile, there was a frown.

  “Kieran,” I mumbled. “This is Callum. Callum this is Kieran…my neighbor.”

  Each of them took turns acknowledging the other. No handshake. Not even a fist bump. Just two short nods of the head.

  “Well, I guess I’ll see you later,” I said when the awkward got too much.

  Kieran didn’t say anything, just went back to picking the weeds.

  Callum walked me to the car and opened the passenger door to let me in. “Does your neighbor always hang out in your yard?”

  I gave a nervous laugh. “He takes care of the lawn for me. It’s a long story.”

  As soon as my butt hit the seat, I realized I was missing my phone. I couldn’t leave the house without it. What if I needed Shelby to fake-call me out of this date?

  “I’ll be right back,” I said as he slid behind the driver’s seat. “I forgot something at the house.”

  I trotted back up the sidewalk, ignoring Kieran’s stare. With my phone safely tucked into my purse, I locked the front door and headed back to the car.

  “I think you got them all,” I teased as Kieran picked another weed.

  I was hit with a strange bolt of guilt. Something about Kieran’s expression seemed off. But Callum was waiting.

  “Have fun tonight. I hope your date makes it through okay.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “A guy his age, going out with a girl like you, in a dress like that?”

  “Very funny.” I did my best to stomp away, which wasn’t easy in six-inch platform heels and a dress that fit like saran wrap.

  “Rose,” Kieran called.

  The light from the porch poured over him. He took a few steps closer to me. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  Chapter 7

  I knew I would have to start talking more than one- and two-word phrases at some point during this date. It was inevitable. I just couldn’t get over the fact that this man could probably describe my backside to a sketch artist, and all I could come up with was that his eyes were blue, which meant there wasn’t any difference between how well I knew him and how well—let’s say—our waitress did.

  “Rose?”

  Callum’s voice woke me out of my stupor as I held the oversized menu close to my face. I looked up as both he and the waitress were staring back at me.

  “Do you need more time?” Callum asked.

  “More time?” My eyes flickered back to the menu. Even though I was holding it for the last ten minutes, I had no idea what was on it.

  “Um, you go first,” I replied.

  “I already did.”

  “Oh.” Way to give yourself away. “Then I’ll have the same.” I smiled and gave the menu back to the waitress, hoping whatever Callum ordered wasn’t something I would have to choke down.

  “Is everything all right?” Callum said. “You seem distracted.”

  I took a sip of water. “Sorry,” I replied, giving the best fake smile I could muster. “My father was in the hospital recently, and I guess I’m just worried about him.”

  Not a complete lie, but I knew Aunt Sarah went to check on him.

  “Was it something serious?”

  “His appendix,” I said. “He’s also a diabetic, and not a very good one.”

  Callum let out a soft laugh. “Getting older isn’t easy on anybody.”

  I felt antsy. I had to make a conscious effort to stop shaking my leg under the table. What did I have to feel uneasy about? This was a nice restaurant with white linen on the table and great lighting. There were a lot of other couples in the dining room, chatting and smiling. Maybe even some on their first date, too.

  “This restaurant is great,” I said.

  Callum swirled the bottom of his wineglass along the ta
bletop. “I’m glad you like it. It’s one of my favorite places to eat.”

  “Why is that?” I asked.

  “Because I own it.” He settled back into his seat.

  Was he trying to impress me? It seemed beyond him. Someone of his caliber and status didn’t need to impress twenty-somethings with student loan debt.

  The waitress came back to the table to refill our water glasses. She took extra care in pouring Callum’s water. She wasn’t so careful with mine.

  What was that about?

  Callum leaned in closer. The reflection of the tea light on the table flickered in his pale blue eyes. “Is there something else on your mind?”

  I wasn’t a strong conversationalist but even this poor performance was unusual.

  He leaned back in his chair, waiting for me to say something. He looked so calm, put together. The sleeves of his white button-down shirt were rolled up to his elbows, exposing his forearms. When we first arrived at the restaurant, the stares of the other women didn’t go unnoticed. The way his pants hugged his lower body, I couldn’t blame them.

  “It’s just…” How did I start this conversation without it getting weird? “I don’t really remember what happened that night. And I’m having a hard time convincing myself it doesn’t matter.”

  “You don’t remember?” he said, a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

  “Bits and pieces, yes. But there are a lot of holes.” My gaze shifted around the room. “We slept together. It’s fine. I can scratch one night stand off my bucket list.” Not that it was even on my bucket list—but what did it matter?

  The words left my lips just as the waitress returned with our salads. I saw the smirk she was trying so hard to hide. My timing was impeccable as always.

  Callum was unfazed by her presence but waited for her to leave before saying, “Rose, I’m not interested in just a one-night stand. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked you out. In fact, I haven’t stopped thinking of you.”

  And it happened. The moment when everything going on in the restaurant came to a grinding halt. Everyone stopped talking. Silverware clanged to the floor. Food burned on the grill.

  Time resumed and the low murmur of chatter from the other diners continued to provide background noise.