Highlander's Choice

by Annis, Dawn

  ~ ~ ~

  Victoria put her kerchief to her nose once they reached the dock. The stench of fish and unwashed bodies an assault to her sensibilities. She watched as ships sailed in, and one lone ship forced its way out to sea against the tide.

  That harpy Callum called a mother had all but forced her out of the house with a stern warning not to return. From the woman’s countenance, Victoria knew a threat when she saw one. She, herself, was exceedingly good at threats, but she was not on firm footing here. She had no choice but to sail back to England and hope the foul woman’s letter did the trick with the earl.

  As the carriage trundled down to the ship leaving for England, Victoria spied the insipid little girl, Thea MacNichol, whom she had met at Callum’s estate. If she could call it such, more like a mudhole. Thea hurried down the docks, checking each slip.

  Using her most regal persona, Lady Monforte hailed the driver, insisting he pull alongside the chit. The driver, obeying her tone, pulled so closely to Thea he nearly ran her down. Victoria chuckled.

  “Come here, girl.”

  Victoria was again amused at the look of surprise on Thea’s face. Obviously intimidated, Thea stepped over to the carriage.

  “What’s amiss?” Victoria asked. “Callum and a group of men left in a hurry this morn’. They seemed harassed by something.”

  “So, they are here. I have been searchin’ for them.”

  “Yes, but why?” The impatience in her voice was clear.

  Thea hesitated.

  “Come, come, girl.”

  “They are seekin’ Charles Stuart. They want to prevent him from leavin’ the country.”

  “What did he do?”

  Thea looked at her dumbfounded.

  Victoria detested being thought of as a fool. It had happened more than once in her life, and when it did, she immediately cut those who’d laughed at her out of her social circle, making them outcasts. She didn’t care to feel stupid. The Earl of Litchfield could tell all about that. She had ruined him socially by spreading the nastiest of rumors about him.

  Victoria merely waved her hand to display her disinterest. She didn’t care what Charles Stuart did.

  “Well, that is not why I wanted to speak to you. I do not mean to be harsh, my dear, but I would not let you be treated as I have been.” Victoria paused. She knew the effect would be dramatic.

  “Callum will never love you. He is not the loving kind. He hops from bed to bed and landed in mine for a time. I thought it could be true love. He said it was so, but he lied as he has lied to countless women. Even I was fooled. I am so determined to get away from my husband, I believed Callum. He made a great deal of promises. Promises he did not intend to keep. Blinded, I was willing to lower myself to his class. After all, he is a Scotsman.

  “You are a ripe peach just waiting for him to squeeze you dry. He will use sweet words and promises to lure you into his arms.”

  Thea’s eyes widened with every word.

  Victoria saw in her face, Callum promised the girl what she herself could not get him to commit. She tasted the bitterness at the back of her throat. Her nostrils flared, and she sniffed, hiding in her kerchief. “I have no use for him any longer. I advise you to stay clear of him.”

  There, that should show him not to get on the wrong side of me.

  Lady Monforte knocked on the roof, and the driver slapped the horse’s reins. The coach moved forward with a jolt, leaving Thea to watch as it trundled down the road.

  ~ ~ ~

  Thea had listened to what Lady Monforte said and what she hadn’t. She’d heard in her voice the sadness and the rejection. Callum seemed to have thrown the woman away. Was this how he’d treated women in England? Did he see her in the same way? Someone to be thrown away when he grew tired? Was his rejection what she could expect? Thea didn’t trust Lady Monforte but couldn’t help wondering if her words were true.

  She searched each dock for her father. Just when she thought her search was in vain, she spied the tall figure of Callum. Her father would be with him. As much as she didn’t want to be in the same company as Callum, she made her way through the crowd. She was surrounded by the Nicolson clansmen as well as MacLeod, MacNichol, and MacCrimmon clans. The men milled around for several minutes, discussing the prince’s escape. Thea pushed through to see for herself.

  She promised herself to be cordial but distant. She had nothing to say. Her experience with Lady Monforte was more than she was willing to endure. Callum had lied. He’d lied about his feelings for her. But a small voice nagged, did his actions speak true? He’d brought her safely back from the dreadful battle. He’d protected her. She reached the men and caught Callum’s gaze. His face and eye swollen and bruised, Thea saw longing and regret. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Her resolve shook like a leaf on a tree in the wind, no substance to it.

  ~ ~ ~

  Callum needed Thea. What could he do to convince her Victoria meant nothing to him, had never meant anything to him? He had sent Victoria back to her husband, secure in the knowledge she would stay there. His mother was a formidable woman. She would make it clear Victoria was not welcome on Scottish shores again.

  Thea was the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Now to convince her he was the man for her. Feelings of regret and guilt racked his brain. Could she forgive him? Could she love him as he did her?

  Fendrel was dead. The prince was gone, out of the country, never to return. Victoria was on her way back to England and her husband. Now was the time for them, for Thea and himself to make a life of their own. If only he could convince her. She was a stubborn woman to be sure. It would, indeed, take some convincing if the look on her face and the way she kept her distance were any indication.

  Callum gave his farewells to the MacNichol and the MacCrimmon, tipped his hat to the other clans, and guided his horse toward home. He was sure what awaited him there. His mother would have a thing or two to say to him. Though Lettie had been left out of most of it, he had no doubt his mother had filled her in. She would have a word for him as well.

  Arriving home, he unsaddled his horse, rubbed him down with a handful of straw, and put him in the stable to enjoy a bag of oats. Lord, he was tired. Callum rubbed his sore eyes and ran his hands down his face to relieve his tension. It did nothing to lessen the apprehension he felt as he walked through the back door into the kitchen. The smell of baking bread greeted him. Not a good sign.

  Callum entered the great hall. He smiled at his sister who merely sniffed in his direction as she tapped her toe. His mother was more vocal.

  “Well, I hope yer pleased with yerself. I got rid o’ that bit o’ baggage ye left in my lap.”

  “I am grateful, Maw.”

  “Grateful ye should be. The trollop refused to leave. Insisted on waitin’ for ye, said ye will no want her to leave.”

  “She was mistaken, Maw.” His shoulders slumped.

  Lettie snorted and went back to her toe-tapping.

  He had successfully alienated all of the women in his life. Even the one he cared for the least. How had he done such a feat? He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down heavily.

  “Maw, I ken what yer upset with me about, and I dinna blame ye a bit. I asked for yer help, and ye gave it willin’ enough. ’Twas no my doin’ she had one o’ her tempers.” Callum held up his hand to forestall her next words. “I dinna warn ye about her temper and her pouts, true enough. I should have. I thank ye still for yer trouble and yer help.”

  “The lass is a bitch if ye dinna mind me sayin’ so.” Fiona blushed at her own words. “Screamin’ and weepin’, she threw her finery out the window into the mud and cow pies. With her bosom heavin’, she insisted I go down to fetch them. She cursed me and told me if I wanted her to leave so badly I could go down and clean them m’self. Said she couldna po
ssibly return to England with her clothes in such a state.” Fiona gave Callum a wry smile. “I sent several lads down to retrieve her things and bring them to the chamber. I gave them an order to throw it into her trunks however they could fit it all. She scrambled about, tryin’ to pull her muddied clothes out as fast as the lads were stuffin’ it in. In the end, the lads won.”

  “Maw, I will say agin, I am sorry for yer trouble.”

  His mother sat on her chair, her arms relaxed, mollified. “Did ye see Charlie on the ship?”

  “Aye.”

  “I dinna believe his leavin’ will be the end.”

  “Nay, neither do I,” Callum agreed.

  He turned to Lettie. “Now, lass, what have I done to ye?”

  Lettie quit tapping her toe and readjusted her arms under her breasts. “Ye have put our home in an uproar, and so soon after Da’s death. He wouldna have put Maw through what ye have, runnin’ off, chasin’ Charlie.” Lettie took in a breath. “Lettin’ such a woman into our home. Playin’ with Thea’s affections. Why did ye come back, Callum?”

  “Lettie,” Fiona cautioned.

  Lettie hugged herself, as the toe began tapping again.

  Callum let his head drop in sorrow and shame. Why had he come back?

  “Lettie,” he said, his words soft. “I came because I am selfish. I stayed because I needed ye.”

  Tears filled Lettie’s eyes. “Och, Callum. We need ye, too.” She flung herself at her brother, who caught her to him and held her. In a short time, both Fiona and Lettie were weeping and Callum’s eyes were wet.

  “Now.” Lettie dried her eyes and wiped her cheeks. “D’ye want to make Thea yer bride?”

  Callum leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I believe she will no have anythin’ to do with me.”

  “Ye dinna ken until ye have tried,” Lettie begged. “She is meant to be my sister.”

  “Ho.” Callum forced a laugh.

  Fiona walked up to Callum and put her hand on his shoulder.

  “Ye dinna ken until ye have tried.”

  Callum searched his mother’s face and clasped her hand. “I will try.”

  Thoughts ran through his head faster than he could pick out any one. He hoped Thea would see his feelings for what they were, to see her happy until his dying breath. How to convince her was perhaps another matter. When he’d seen her on the dock, it hadn’t appeared as though her thoughts of him had improved, but he had to try.

  ~ ~ ~

  Anthol bid Callum to sit down. Callum got right to the point.

  “I love yer daughter and intend on makin’ her my wife.”

  Anthol’s eyebrows raised high. “Aye, and does she feel the same?”

  “Nay, I dinna believe she does. She will if I have to get on my knees and beg.”

  Anthol chuckled. “It has been my experience more than one marriage has included that verra thing. My own to be sure.”

  “I have yer blessin’?”

  “I have considered ye a son for some time now, aye? Ye have it if ye can get her to agree,” Anthol said. “Though I have heard a disturbin’ bit o’ news. Have ye taken care o’ that wee bit?”

  Callum cleared his throat. “Aye, I have.”

  “Then there should be no trouble, aye?”

  “Nay, none at all.” He needed to convince the woman to marry him. No trouble at all.

  Anthol had Thea summoned to his study, and when she arrived, he did nothing more than kiss her on the forehead and seat her next to Callum. He squeezed her shoulder and left the room, closing the door behind him.

  Callum started, his voice shaky, “Thea, I love ye. I love ye more than I can say. Will ye marry me?”

  “Why?” Thea stared hard at him. “Ye have a bairn in yer belly?”

  “Nay, but ye may verra well have.” Callum tried to reach for her hand, but she pulled away.

  “Why does it matter to ye? Ye may have dozens o’ bastards for all ye ken. If I do, I will no be tellin’ ye about it. I will handle it without ye. I dinna doubt the lasses in yer past have handled it without ye.”

  “Nay, Thea.” Callum shook his head. “Dinna let this go on. I tried to explain to ye. Ye ken me. How could we spend all those days tryin’ to get home without ye feelin’ about me the same as I do for ye?”

  Callum saw her mind working on her answer. Before she could reply, he interrupted, “What about yer da and brothers?”

  “So ye would marry me for what others think? I have other reasons.”

  “What can they be?”

  Thea straightened herself in her chair and cleared her throat as her voice had begun to quake. “Lady Monforte said, ‘He will never love ye. He is no the lovin’ kind. He hops from bed to bed and landed in mine for a time. I thought it was true love, but he lied as he has lied to countless women. Even I was fooled.’”

  “Ye canna believe her. She lies for a livin’. She said those things to hurt me and to hurt ye. How can I convince ye?”

  “Write a letter to each woman ye have hurt.”

  “What? I dinna ken,” Callum sputtered. “I canna write to them all.”

  “’Tis so many? D’ye even mind them all?”

  “Thea, I confess. I dinna. I was a different man before I came home. Before I met ye.”

  “I am no that powerful.”

  “Och, aye, ye are. Ye have my world spinnin’. I canna see a thing but what ye allow me to see. Without ye, I am alone. Thea, no one could hold the place ye have in my heart.”

  She searched his eyes for a brief moment.

  Mayhap she was about to give in.

  Thea straightened her spine. “Nay, I will no marry ye.”

  His hopes crashed in the rocks. Callum wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. He stood abruptly and gave Thea a quick nod.

  “As ye wish.” He turned on his heel and left the manor. He climbed on his horse and cantered out of the yard. He wasn’t sure where to go. At home, they would be disappointed in him, for Thea had made herself clear. Clearer than he’d ever dreaded.

  He made his way to Ship Rock. Once there, he hobbled his horse and climbed until he found a seat. He faced the stars and watched long into the night, watching the moon travel across the sky.

  He examined his life. He knew where he went wrong. From the day he had disappointed his father. It was so long ago and yet felt like yesterday. What had he done with his life? Frittered it away on cards, cigars, and women. Women. Had he given them one thought, or had been he more interested in his own pleasure, not caring about the feelings of those he used? Everyone used everyone he had told himself. It was the circle he had run in, bored aristocrats who worried not a whit about anyone but themselves. Did it make his actions right? No. He was the poorer for it.

  Callum let out a yell so filled with sorrow his heart ached from the sound.

  He had come home. He had stayed and joined a people who were simple, genuine, and kind. They were fearless. They had fought for their brethren and included him. They considered him one of them. He was proud to be among them.

  He’d made a choice. A choice to stand with them, to fight with them, to lead them. They’d accepted him. They’d made as much a choice as he had.

  Callum climbed off the rocks. He mounted his horse and headed to Dunvegan Castle where he was sure his mother would be waiting for him. What would he tell her besides the obvious? He wasn’t sure.

  Chapter 18

  Callum returned to Dunvegan to find his mother sitting in front of the fire in the great hall. She had her sewing in her lap but stared into the flames.

  Callum plodded across the room and leaned against the mantle, his arms falling to his sides. “I have asked her to marry me,” Callum said flatly.

  “Ye have, have ye?
And when is the weddin’ to be held?”

  “She told me ‘nay.’”

  “Smart lass, in light o’ all that has occurred,” Fiona said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

  “Enough, Maw. I am the laird o’ this castle. I have heard enough o’ yer scoldin’. I will no take any more.”

  “A laird who dinna ken how to handle his life, past or present.” Fiona stood. “I am yer maw, and ye will hear me regardless o’ how auld ye think ye are. So, sit yer arse down.”

  Deflated, Callum did as his mother bade him, the fight having suddenly left him.

  “Maw, I dinna ken what to do. I love her, but she dinna love me.”

  “Och, dinna fash yerself. O’ course she loves ye. She has been hurt is all, and ye canna blame her. Ye bringin’ the tart around dinna help yer cause.”

  “I dinna bring her around as ye well ken.”

  “Aye, but Thea dinna ken it. Far as she kent, she came to a home where she has been safe for the whole o’ her life to find scorn.”

  “Aye.”

  “What did she say when ye asked for her hand?”

  “I must send a note to every woman I hurt. I told her ’twas impossible.”

  “Well, that leaves ye in a spot. Have ye hurt many women, lad?”

  “Aye.”

  “Have ye been hurt in return?”

  “Aye.”

  Fiona put her hand to her breast. “My lad’s hurt makes my heart ache.”

  Callum grabbed his mother’s other hand and held it for a moment. Fiona gazed into his eyes and brushed her hand across his cheek.

  “I am sure she will calm down and, at the verra least, take the request off the table,” Fiona said.

  Callum studied his boots, gloom surrounding him. His mother knew of this loss. He decided to share another that plagued him. One his mother did not know.