A Girls Guide to Vampires

by Katie MacAlister

  She looked around us. "Boy, you weren't kidding when you said people would be streaming in all week," she told Christian. "There's got to be double the people who were here yesterday."

  "Rox, can we force ourselves to stick to the issue at hand—namely, my happiness?"

  "You're a selfish, selfish person," Roxy replied, then turned her back on me and smiled at Christian.

  "The rules are these," I continued on, ignoring her ignoring me. "First, I have to have my own set of rune stones. I don't want to borrow the ones Arielle was using. They don't have a good feel to them."

  "You wouldn't believe she was the biggest skeptic in all the world last week, would you?" Roxy asked Christian. "Boy, has she changed her tune!"

  "Yes, now I believe six impossible things before breakfast," I replied, giving her a look that should have warned her. "It's that or go insane. I chose sanity. Second, I get to choose who I read for."

  "Dominic said it has to be three readings."

  "Fine," I said. "Then I'll read for Raphael, Christian, and Arielle."

  The line shuffled forward a few steps. "Aye aye, mon capitaine," she answered, still smirking at Christian. He shot me a martyred look.

  "And last but not least, I don't want a lot of people watching me. I get nervous before a crowd, and we all know what happened the last time I got nervous when I was reading the stones."

  "What happened?" Christian asked.

  "Earthquakes, floods, fires, you name it. She's a cataclysient—predicts natural disasters."

  "I am not a cataclysient, there is no such thing as a cataclysient, so you can just stop telling everyone I am one. It was all just coincidence, Christian. A group of Wiccans has banned me from ever reading for them again, that's all. But still, having me do public readings probably isn't a terribly bright idea. I wouldn't want anything to go wrong."

  We moved forward a yard or so. Roxy mouthed "cataclysient" to Christian.

  "The most important thing is to find a set of rune stones," I decided. "Luckily, I saw some yesterday at one of the booths that sell crystals and stuff."

  We paid our entrance fee and worked our way through the increasing crowds until we came to the merchant. I perused his limited selection of stones, trying to decide between the pink rose quartz and the deep purple of the amethyst. Once the merchant told me the amethysts were runes of joy (rose quartz were runes of love), the decision was made.

  As I was handing over the money for the stones, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end and shrieked out a warning of danger. I spun around and met the cold, flat eyes of Milos. He nodded his head, gave Christian the same impersonal look, and turned to leave. He stiffened for a moment as he looked at something beyond the edge of the tent, then turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction.

  "That guy gives me the creeps," Roxy said from where she was busy trying on necklaces.

  I glanced at Christian. He was watching Milos depart, his fingers absentmindedly stroking one of the rose quartz runes.

  "You really shouldn't touch the stones," I warned him, tapping his fingers.

  He looked down at his hand. "I shouldn't?"

  "No. It's supposed to be bad for whoever reads them if someone else touches them. Imprints them or something. I was told to never let anyone touch my rune stones. Not that I ever really believed in that stuff, but…" I smiled lamely. "I guess if I can believe in vampires, I can believe in touchy rune stones."

  He quickly put the stone down and smiled.

  "Come on, beautiful," I called out to Roxy who was peering into a mirror admiring a crystal necklace on herself. "I want this over with as quickly as possible."

  "You just want to be done so you can play a round of kissy-face with Raphael," she said, turning slightly to check out the side view.

  "That isn't why I want to be done with it," I said indignantly, not in the least denying the truth in her statement.

  "I'm sorry to hear that," Raphael said from just beyond the tent. "The thought of playing a round of kissy-face is one I hate to discard, but disappointed and slighted though I am, I will see my duty through as best I can. Your presence, madam, has been requested."

  He held out his hand for me. I smiled and took it, reveling in the warmth of his touch as his fingers closed around mine. "You'll notice, disappointed and slighted as you are, that I did not discount the idea of playing kissy-face."

  "I noticed," he answered, his eyebrows giving me a slight wiggle.

  Christian appeared at my side, giving Raphael a neutral look. "St. John," he said, glancing down to where Raphael held my hand. His lips tightened as he took my other hand and tucked it into the crook of his arm.

  "Dante," Raphael nodded back, giving him a cool, assessing look. Something elemental and male passed between them, something I could sense but was not privy to. I was about to suggest they stop acting like cavemen when Roxy, her purchase complete, strolled past us and nailed the situation on the head.

  "Reminds me of two dogs with their hackles up over the same bone," she called out over her shoulder. "You'd better be careful, Joy. Next thing you know, they'll start marking their territory, and you know what that means! They'll be peeing everywhere!"

  To my surprise, Raphael—and Christian—did not escort me to Arielle's palm-reading tent. Instead we marched down the avenue lined with booths, heading straight for the main tent, the one used for the big events. I assumed Dominic didn't want to interrupt the flow of business at the palm-reading booth by having me do my demonstration there.

  "How long have you known who Christian was?" I asked Raphael as we walked. "And why didn't you tell us? You could have saved Roxy and me from making fools of ourselves by telling Christian all about his books."

  Christian murmured in his rich, silky voice that he would never think me a fool. Raphael just shrugged. "Last night. Someone in the bar told me. I thought he would have told you; you seem to spend enough time with him."

  "Oh, stop it," I told Raphael as we wended our way through the crowds of people patronizing the line of tents. Arielle had a large group in front of hers, I was happy to note. Tanya, grim-faced and hollow-eyed, also had a sizeable crowd in front of her spell-casting booth. "You make it sound like Christian is interested in me in a romantic way, and he's not, he's just being polite. I've never understood why men get so territorial about a woman having a platonic relationship with another man."

  Raphael stopped, pulling Christian and me to a halt as well. "You're serious, aren't you?"

  "About what?" I asked him. "About men acting like boobs around other men? Yes, I'm serious. I've seen it before—"

  "No, not that." His lovely amber gaze shifted until it rested on Christian. "You're serious about thinking he's not interested in you the same way I am, isn't that right?"

  I glanced between the two men, the fingers of my right hand entwined with Raphael's, held strong and safe, my left hand tucked into Christian's arm. "Stop embarrassing me," I said in a low tone to Raphael. "Of course he's not interested in me in that way."

  Raphael kept his eyes on Christian. "Tell her."

  Christian pursed his lips, his gaze holding Raphael's. "In my own good time."

  "Tell her now."

  "Tell me what? Dammit, I hate feeling like everyone else at the party knows a joke and I don't. What does he want you to tell me?" I asked Christian. "I'm not completely stupid. I've dated guys before, I know all the signs one makes when he's looking for a little nookie, and you're not making them, so yes, please, just tell me whatever it is that Mr. Possessive here thinks you need to tell me."

  "Very well," Christian said, placing his hand on top of mine. "If you insist."

  With a move too fast to see, he pulled my hand from Raphael's, wrapped both arms around me, and slammed me up against his chest just as his lips swooped down to capture mine. I stood for a moment in stunned surprise, then realized what he was doing and tried to shove myself off his chest.

  "Let go of her," Raphael growled behind m
e.

  Christian's arms held solid behind me, not giving an inch when I tried to squirm out of them. I was just starting to get panicky when he suddenly let me go. I stared at Christian in open-mouthed surprise. His eyes were black, solid black as if his pupils had dilated to consume his irises, black and glittering and full of something that made me shiver.

  Raphael pushed in front of me, shoving me behind him as he growled directly into Christian's face. "Touch her again and you'll have to answer to me."

  "Hey!" I said, nudging Raphael in the back. I didn't mind a little bit of a possessive attitude, but he was taking things a bit too far.

  "What's the matter?" Roxy called from behind me, hurrying up. "Everyone is waiting in the main tent. What are you guys lollygagging for?"

  "Hans and Franz here are duking it out."

  "I answer to no man, St. John," Christian said in a silken voice that only magnified the menace inherent in it. "If Joy does not wish to receive my advances, she will tell me."

  "Oooh! They're fighting over you? Cool! I figured it would take a couple more days before things escalated to that point."

  "I'm telling you she doesn't want them," Raphael said, his voice dropping in pitch. While he wasn't as good with the unspoken menacing as Christian, I did not like the way the conversation was heading. It was all very flattering to think that they'd want to mix it up over me, but it was also extremely stupid. There was only one man present I wanted to get to know better.

  "All right, both of you, stop it now," I said, pushing Raphael until I could squeeze between them. He didn't back up at all, which meant I was pressed up against a likewise unmoving Christian. I turned my head to Raphael. "Just so you know, you're standing so close my breasts are pressed up against him."

  Raphael immediately backed up a couple of steps, but took me with him as he did so.

  "Look, this is silly," I appealed to Christian. "I'm very flattered that you want to kiss me and everything, but the truth is that I'm just not quite with you on that. I assumed you knew that Raphael and I are, for lack of a better description, interested in one another."

  "He knows that," Raphael grumbled behind me.

  "So you can both just stop your posturing and growling and pretending I'm nothing more than a mindless, ditzy bit of fluff who will happily walk off with whoever wins this pissing contest, and get back to the job at hand."

  Raphael's hands on my arms tightened painfully as Christian stepped forward, took my hand in his, and turned it over to kiss my palm. It was the same move that Dominic had pulled on me, but Christian didn't leave me with the desire to wash off my hand. "As you have asked, I will not press my suit. Yet."

  "Fine. Now that we're all friends again, can we get these stupid readings over with so I can enjoy the rest of the evening?"

  Christian smiled and tucked my hand back into the crook of his arm. Raphael grumbled to himself, but took my other hand.

  "I feel like I should be singing 'We're Off to See the Wizard,' " I said as we headed for the main tent.

  Neither man laughed, although Roxy, accepting Christian's offer to take his other arm, broke her silence with a comment that she'd like to know what perfume I was using to have three men slobbering over me the minute I arrived in the country.

  "No one is slobbering over me," I told her with a look that promised a much more detailed chastisement in the near future. "You make me sound like nothing but a choice piece of meat. I'd like to just drop the subject, if we could. Did you tell Dominic that I wanted to pick the people I'd read for?"

  "No. I thought you guys were right behind me, not standing in the middle of the fair having a testosterone contest."

  I snickered. Raphael glowered. My snicker died when I got caught up in the snare of his eyes, the heat in them sending a wave of warmth through me that kindled a fiery reaction at several key points of my anatomy. The cheerleaders woke up and started rallying the crowd for the main event. If I had any before, the steamy, seductive look in Raphael's eyes left me in no doubt that tonight he would not be asking me to remove myself from his lap.

  "Hooo," I sighed, and allowed him to hustle me off to the main tent.

  * * *

  Chapter Eleven

  « ^ »

  "No."

  "Come on, Joy."

  "No!"

  "Mon ange—"

  "You call me that one more time, and I swear I'll mon ange you so hard you'll walk funny for a week. And stop slobbering on my hand!"

  "You are distraught, mon ange—"

  "RAPHAEL!"

  "Dominic!"

  "Joyful—"

  "All right, stop it, all of you!" I yanked my hand from Dominic's and glared at the assembled company. "This is starting to resemble a circus. You!" I pointed to Roxy. "Sit. You!" I pointed to Raphael. "Stop flexing your muscles at Christian and watch Dominic. You!" I pointed to Christian. "Stop glaring at Raphael, sit next to Roxy, and keep her in line. Feel free to sit on her if you need to. Now, as for you, Dominic, I want it made perfectly clear that I am doing this against my better judgment, and only because my friend foolishly wagered every cent she has that I would. So I will read the runes for three people, and three people only: Raphael, Christian, and Arielle."

  "No!" Tanya shrieked from where she was sitting sullen and angry behind Dominic. "That is not a fair test. She chooses three people who would lie for her, who would say that whatever she tells them is true!"

  "Oh!" I gasped, outraged. "I would never ask anyone to lie for me, and certainly none of the three people I mentioned would think to do so!"

  "Why not? You have slept with both of the men, and I saw the way you watched my sister. Even an innocent like her is not safe from your lustful appetite!"

  "You witch!" I stormed, jumping up from my chair and heading off the stage to where Tanya sat.

  She leaped up and headed for me. "That's right, I am a witch, and you'd do well to remember that for you I have created a spell most powerful. It will rid us of your unwanted presence… permanently!"

  Raphael grabbed my arm and kept me from flinging myself down the three steps to the seats. Milos grabbed Tanya and pulled her backwards, none too gently I was pleased to see.

  "Joie." Dominic oiled over to me and took my hand again, tugging me back to the table he'd set up for the reading. "You make my heart ache when you insist on deranging yourself over such trivial matters. This wager, it is a minor matter, one that is better forgotten when compared to your happiness. I will wave it away and absolve your friend from her responsibility."

  I eyed him warily. "You will? What's the catch?"

  He moved closer to me, his eyelids at half mast as he leaned his head to mine. "If it is within my power to make you happy, mon ange, I will climb the highest mountain to see it so. I will swim the deepest ocean, I will move—"

  "Yeah, yeah, yeah, get to the point. What do you want in return for calling this whole thing off?"

  He leaned close enough to peer down my cleavage. "A night spent in the arms of mon ange is not too much to ask, I think."

  "Think again," I snapped, and turned back to the table.

  He grabbed my hand and hauled me up to his chest.

  "Raphael!" I turned to him with a meaningful glare.

  "Dominic—" he warned with a flash of his amber eyes, starting toward Dominic.

  "Mon ange" Dominic pleaded, one eye on Raphael as he approached.

  "There they go again," Roxy said to Christian. "Kind of like watching an episode of The Waltons, isn't it?"

  He raised his brows at her. She fawned at him.

  "This has gone far enough," Raphael said, pulling my fingers free from Dominic's, massaging the top of my hand with his thumb as he walked me back to my chair. I would have allowed the tingles his touch generated to sweep through my body, but given the present company, I figured it was better to keep all my wits present and accounted for. "Why don't we stop wasting time? Whom do you want her to read for, Dominic?"

  Dominic looked peeved
at having his toy taken out of his grasp, but he rubbed his hands together and gave me a leer that all but stripped off my lovely garnet dress. "Myself, of course, Milos, and Tanya. I believe the three of us will offer ample opportunity for Joie to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Tanya's claims are false."

  "No, no, and over my dead body. I don't give a hoot what Tanya claims," I muttered. "The bet was only that I do three readings."

  "I cannot allow her to stain your honor in such a manner." he answered. "Alas, it is my unfortunate duty to remind you that the wager said you would successfully conduct three readings. Thus you not only do the readings, but they must be accurate."

  "You can't get fine accuracy with rune stones," I protested.

  "Within reasonable doubt," he added.

  "Fine," I said, unhappy but without many choices. "But there's no reason I have to read for you three. Arielle is certainly above suspicion of complicity, Christian is neutral, and Raphael is your own employee, for heaven's sake! There can be no objection to my reading for them."

  Evidently there could. Tanya spat a flurry of unintelligible comments to Dominic, who shrugged and turned back to me. "You must read for three fair employees to satisfy Tanya, mon ange," he said with a hint of immovability.

  I debated continuing the argument until I wore him down, but figured I might as well give in and get the blasted thing over with.

  "Fine. I'll read for Raphael, Arielle, and Milos. Happy now?"

  "With one slight adjustment—you will change Milos for Tanya."

  I looked between the cold-eyed Milos and the raging Tanya and gave a mental shrug. One was bound to be as bad as the other. "Fine, but she's last If my reading calls down any acts of God, I want to be able to leave quickly."

  I ignored Dominic's hand and seated myself at the table, grimacing at the showy casting cloth set over the table. I yanked it off and yelled to Roxy, "Give me your red scarf, would you?" She brought it over and I smoothed it out until it lay flat on the table, then looked out at the people assembled. I was at the edge of one corner of the stage, sitting behind a small table, melting under the bright stage lights someone had turned on. Tanya and Milos dragged two chairs from the seating section to join the semicircle of people already sitting in front of me. The irony of the situation—having to prove something I didn't believe in—did not escape me. If this kept up, I'd be like Lewis Carroll's Alice, believing six impossible things before breakfast.