Straight Up

by K. Evan Coles

  “Oh, before I forget, Will’s in town this weekend—he’s already over at our place with the dog,” Carter said as they headed toward the exit. “He and Ri are heading out for dinner tonight and I know they plan to hit Under afterward. David will be there too, provided he can leave Long Island before the traffic gets bad.”

  “Sounds great. Stuart’s off today, so he might be up for it. What about you—are you coming out, too?” Malcolm furrowed his brow when Carter shook his head.

  “Nah, I’m wiped and too pooped to party. I figured I’d keep Mabel company instead, so Will doesn’t need to worry about her. Which will be interesting when you consider how much my cat hates that dog.” Carter gave Malcolm a smile. “Shoot Will a message, ’cause I know he wants to see you.”

  “Will do.”

  “And don’t show your face around here until Monday or I’ll be forced to do something passive-aggressive to express my displeasure. You know how much I hate that!”

  Now Malcolm laughed. “Okay, okay, I’m going!”

  He wondered about Carter’s words as he looked over proofs for CEC T-shirts, mugs and other swag items. Will was Malcolm’s friend, of course, and while they didn’t often meet up outside of the speakeasy crew gatherings, Malcolm always enjoyed his and David’s company. The idea that Will would express a specific desire to see Malcolm struck him though, particularly as it sounded like many of the crew was set to converge on Under anyway.

  Malcolm’s musings shifted from friends to family as he headed downtown for the Gopher’s Parlour, a restaurant and bar located a few blocks from Whitehall Ferry terminal. He arrived a few minutes early and settled in a booth in the taproom with a pint of Gopher Red Ale, exchanging messages with Will and Kyle about meeting up later while also trying not to overthink his mother’s invitation.

  According to Jackson, his conversation with Kim and Stephen in the Staten Island house had been a total roller coaster ride, marked by reactions ranging wildly from outrage and disbelief to sorrow and regret. Kim had gone on the defensive and tried more than once to deny that she was in financial trouble, even storming out of the house at one point. Thankfully, she’d only made it as far as the end of the driveway before she returned, pale and shaken and finally willing to talk about ways to dig herself out of the hole.

  The guilt on his brother’s face as he’d described the scene had made Malcolm’s stomach twist, but they’d known it had been the right thing to do. As much as Malcolm hated the idea of his family hurting, Stuart and the speakeasy guys had shown him that confronting his mother’s financial problems head-on was the only sensible path. She had to be an active participant. And if it took Kim a while to find her footing on that path, the Elliotts were there to back her up and make sure she didn’t fall even further.

  “I’m not late, am I?”

  A familiar voice dragged Malcolm back to the present. He stood, unable to help his grin at the way his mom was beaming at him. “Not at all,” he said, then stepped away from the table so he could give her a hug. “I was early, thanks to the trains being oddly punctual today.”

  Kim rubbed Malcolm’s back as they separated, her smile even bigger. “You know, it occurs to me that we could have met in Midtown. I had an appointment on 33rd and 6th and that would have been easier for you instead of coming all the way down here. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Malcolm gestured to the seat he’d just vacated. “I was out of the office on an errand anyway and meeting here gets you closer to the terminal for the ride back. Unless you have other plans after this?”

  “I don’t but you’re sweet to think of that.” Kim settled into the booth and waited until Malcolm had taken the chair opposite. “I’m glad you could make time today, honey, considering I called you so last minute. You look great, by the way.” She heaved a big breath, her expression going so serious that Malcolm’s stomach tumbled.

  “Um. Thanks?”

  “I mean it.” She patted Malcolm’s hand where it lay on the table. “You’ve put on some weight since the last time I saw you and the color is back in your cheeks, which I hope means you’re eating properly again.”

  Well, hell.

  “Mom—”

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” Kim pressed her lips together in a tight line. “I really… I didn’t realize how difficult I was making things for you and Jack and I know I should have. When your brother told me what the two of you have been going through to keep me afloat, you in particular…” She shook her head. “I knew you looked thinner but Jesus, Malcolm. I don’t know what to say.”

  “I was happy to help.” Malcolm swallowed against the lump that had risen in his throat. He wanted to say more—reassure his mother he really was okay—but stopped himself when the server, who’d introduced herself earlier as Isabel, approached the table.

  “Good afternoon, ma’am,” she said to Kim. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I’d love a glass of white wine,” Kim replied. Malcolm could see she was trying for friendly through her tight smile. “What would you recommend with your salads?”

  Isabel clasped her hands behind her back. “The Trimbach Pinot Gris pairs well with the grilled salmon salad, and I like the Gruner Veltliner with the fresh burrata.”

  “Pinot Gris sounds nice, thanks. The salmon salad, too, if you wouldn’t mind.” Kim glanced at Malcolm’s half-emptied glass. “How about you, honey?”

  “I’m good with beer for the moment, thanks.” Malcolm handed his menu to Isabel. “I’ll go with a couple of the small plates, please—the sausage roll and truffled chips.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want a sandwich?” Kim asked. A crease Malcolm had never noticed before worked its way between her eyebrows. “Small plates don’t sound like all that much food.”

  “And I ordered two,” Malcolm said. “That should be enough even for me and this way we can share.”

  “Excellent.” Isabel’s eyes twinkled as she collected Kim’s menu, too. “I’ll get the order right in for you.”

  A silence hung in the air after she’d gone, thick to the point of suffocating, and Malcolm fought not to squirm under his mother’s gaze. It was a struggle to ignore his instinct to smooth things over and pretend nothing was wrong, but he and Kim needed to talk, even if it took them all afternoon to start.

  “This is my treat,” Kim said out of nowhere. “I know it would have been cheaper to have you to the house instead, but I wanted to do something nice for you. Your father helped me sell off those old motorcycles he’s been keeping in the garage for the past twenty years, so I’ve got some money that I can spend on you for a change.”

  “Mom, stop.” Malcolm held up a hand when Kim made to continue. “I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t have to do that. My bank account is a lot healthier than it was a month ago, mostly because I’m back to splitting a lot of my expenses with Jack and Marissa. That said, I meant it when I told you I was happy to help when you needed it. I wouldn’t change a thing about making sure you’re okay.”

  “Of course, you wouldn’t.” Kim’s throat worked, and she kept talking even as Malcolm tried to protest. “You and your brother are good men, Malcolm, and so giving, but it was my responsibility to deal with life after I lost my job, not yours. I’m not proud of the way I acted. In fact, I’m ashamed that I dragged you and Jack into my mess.”

  “You lost your job,” Malcolm replied. “That’s a blow that can knock anyone off their feet.”

  “It’s still no excuse.” His mom let out a quiet huff. “If I could go back, I would change some things. I never wanted to hurt you or Jack and I know I did. You most of all, Malcolm.” Kim leaned forward in her seat and clasped her hands on top of the table. “Can you forgive me?”

  Sadness and relief warred in Malcolm’s heart. As much as he hated to hear his mother say those words, it was wonderful to know she was taking responsibility for herself.

  “There’s nothing to forgive,” he said once he trusted his voice to be
steady. “Jack and I wanted to help, so we did. I don’t resent you for needing that help, Mom, and I’ll never be sorry that we stepped in.” He held his hand out and managed a smile when his mother took it. “We’re here for you. We may be more than a little dysfunctional, but you have to know that we love you just the same.”

  Kim actually scowled. “Don’t say things like that, honey. You and your brother are perfect.”

  “So not true. I’m far from perfect, Mom. I’m working on being better, though.”

  “So am I. Starting with going back to work full-time.” Kim sat back as Isabel arrived with her wine, then held the glass up toward Malcolm. “I’ve had three job interviews in the last two weeks and, today, I accepted an offer. I start in four days!”

  The pride in his mother’s expression sent a happy surge through Malcolm. “That’s so great. What are you going to be doing? And where will you be working? Wait, is the job here in the city?” His rapid-fire questions made them both laugh. “Sorry, I’m being obnoxious. But tell me everything!”

  He sat back, content to allow his mom to take over the conversation, warmth building in his chest as Kim told him about the job she’d taken with the Kinship Fund, a newly formed foundation dedicated to strengthening LGBTQIA communities in New York and New Jersey by investing in targeted organizations, projects and leaders.

  “I’m working under the program director,” Kim said, her eyes bright. “A large portion of Kinship’s money goes to nonprofits and scholarship programs and we’re setting up consulting and coaching opportunities for the leaders of those organizations that need them. Oh.” She glanced down at her salad and laughed. “I just said ‘we’ and I only accepted the job offer two hours ago!”

  Malcolm waved her off. “Pretty sure that means you’re allowed to use ‘we,’ then. The office is in Midtown?”

  “Yes, over near Penn Station. Not all that far from your neighborhood, now that I think about it. Gosh, it’s going to be so interesting commuting into the city again!” Kim sipped her wine. “The funny thing is, I’m looking forward to it. I think…no, I know I was bored out there at the house because the job I had wasn’t challenging and I never found anything substantive to do with my time. That’s about to change, thanks to you and your friends.”

  Malcolm furrowed his brow. “Thanks to me?”

  “Your friend Senator Mori is the Kinship Fund’s executive director, honey. Didn’t you know that?” Kim cocked her head. “He’s only there part-time right now because he’s still in office, but he’s not running for re-election this fall. After his term ends, he’ll be at the Fund full-time.” She sat up straight in her chair then, eyes wide. “Crap, I’m not sure I’m supposed to say anything about that yet, so pretend you didn’t hear it from me.”

  “Jesus, Mom.” Malcolm spluttered into his beer, his thoughts spinning at the influx of information. He’d known David and Will were setting up a foundation and also that David had considered leaving office, but to get confirmation—from his mother of all people!—was a big deal. Malcolm really needed to catch up with his friends tonight. “Was David the one who contacted you about the job?”

  “No. I spoke with his boyfriend, Will Martin, last week. He called about a position in administration at the college where he teaches. He gave me information about the Kinship Fund too, and said my experience might be better suited there. I applied for both jobs, but I knew from the start that Will was right—Kinship is the better match.” Kim’s smile softened then. “You really didn’t know about any of this?”

  “Not a thing.” Malcolm ran a hand over his mouth. Honestly, did no one believe he was capable of handling his own life? “I’m grateful they helped you, but I’m not loving the fact that they did it without telling me. I’m sure that sounds petty.”

  “No, it doesn’t. But you should blame me, at least in part.” Kim bit her lip. “Will asked me to tell you that he and I had talked, and I didn’t want to say anything until after I’d heard back about the job. I worried you might be disappointed if I didn’t get it.”

  The apprehension in her expression shifted Malcolm’s mood in a flash. “Hey, no. How could I be disappointed when I’m so proud of you for getting out there again?”

  “Thank you. I just wish I’d done it sooner.” Kim sighed. “I’m sure you know this, but your friends are good people. They helped Jack hook me up with a financial planner. And your brother told me about what they’ve been doing to help you too, and that Stuart stepped in first. You have a lot of people in your life who care for you.”

  Despite the fire in his cheeks, Malcolm bobbed his head. “I know. I care about them, too. Stuart especially.” Just saying those two words made his heart swell. Malcolm more than cared about Stuart. He wanted to share absolutely everything with him. And Malcolm loved him, body and soul, even if he still didn’t feel ready to say the words out loud.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” Malcolm swore his mother’s smile could have powered the whole city.

  “That’s the best thing I’ve heard today. Even better than the job offer!” She speared salad greens onto her fork with gusto. “Can I say that you and Stuart are boyfriends when I tell my friends about him?”

  “Ummm, yes?” In fact, Malcolm and Stuart hadn’t talked titles or formalities or anything along those lines, but Malcolm didn’t think they needed to. He had zero desire to see anyone else and felt confident Stuart was happy keeping things exclusive. “I don’t know why your friends would care who I date, though.”

  Kim rolled her eyes. “My poor, oblivious boy. Of course, my friends care. And even if they don’t, I do!”

  Mystified at his mother’s satisfaction but tickled all the same, Malcolm listened to her gush about Stuart and how happy the rest of the Elliotts were that he’d come into Malcolm’s life. Which was funny, given Stuart hadn’t even met them.

  I could change that, Malcolm thought. While part of him cringed at the idea, a larger part loved thinking about Stuart meeting his father. Christ, I’m in deep.

  After seeing his mom to the ferry terminal, he headed uptown on foot. Things had been so good in the weeks since the wedding in Southampton. They spent most nights Stuart wasn’t working together, often hanging out with friends. Other times, they stayed in and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Stuart maintained he liked coming home to Malcolm after work too, so if Malcolm didn’t already have plans, he’d head for Little Italy after eating dinner at home. He’d bring along a tub of leftovers and use the spare key Stuart had given him to let himself into the apartment. And while Malcolm was often sleeping by the time Stuart got home from King’s, he’d rouse enough to exchange drowsy kisses before Stuart slipped away to clean up. There were usually more kisses after Stuart climbed into bed, and they didn’t always stop at kissing, either.

  Malcolm smiled to himself. Sex with Stuart was fun and hot, even at the slower pace Malcolm needed to set, and somehow that made him want to try new things far more than he’d ever have believed. Last night, Stuart had pinned Malcolm down and driven him to such distraction he’d literally begged to come. While Malcolm’s body reacted in a very pleasant way to the memory, his mind and heart clung more so to what had happened afterward when Stuart had wiped Malcolm down and wrapped him up in his arms, so tight Malcolm had sworn he felt Stuart’s heart thudding against his shoulder.

  No matter what heights Stuart could drive him to, Malcolm wanted that connection even more. Didn’t mean he’d stopped worrying from time to time that Stuart needed more when it came to sex. Malcolm had grown certain that Stuart also craved the connection between them. Whether or not they got off before they curled up together to sleep, Malcolm wanted anything Stuart was willing to give.

  A mellow happiness made him feel light as he crossed from Chinatown into Little Italy. Stuart had invited Malcolm into his life. He’d gone out of his way to help Malcolm with his financial issues, even risking Malcolm’s anger, and willingly stepped out of his comfort zone in an effort to
know the speakeasy guys. Shit, Stuart had given Malcolm a key to his apartment, and if that wasn’t a sign they were on the same page, Malcolm wasn’t sure what would be.

  He’d opened the outer door of Stuart’s building when his phone buzzed with an incoming call from Will, who, oddly enough, sounded sheepish.

  “Mal, I just heard from David. He told me the Kinship Fund has a new employee by the name of Kim Elliott.”

  Malcolm headed for the stairs. “She gave me the news about an hour ago. She’s so excited, Will, you have no idea.”

  “Oh, great! You knew she’d applied, right?”

  “Well, no. Today was the first I’d heard of it.”

  “Damn, I was afraid of that.” Will sighed. “I’d been talking to some of the guys about needing staff and Carter mentioned your mom had experience with university admin, so I looked her up and things took on a life of their own. Clearly, since David and I had no idea she’d even interviewed at Kinship until today.”

  Smiling, Malcolm made his way up to the fifth floor. “It’s okay. My mom said she wanted to wait until after she’d heard about the job before she told me, and I have to respect that.”

  “So we’re cool?”

  “Yes, we are. I appreciate that you guys thought about her in the first place.”

  “Well, Carter’s the one who mentioned her name—things are usually his fault.”

  The teasing tone in Will’s voice made Malcolm laugh. “Is my mom’s job the thing you wanted to talk to me about tonight?”

  “Actually, no. I need cookie recipes! I’m taking care of my niece and nephew next weekend while their parents are out of town and I figured baking up a batch or two of your favorites might be fun.”

  “Heck, yeah, that’d be fun.” Malcolm stopped in front of Stuart’s door. “How about I email some recipes and we talk them through when I see you tonight?”

  “Sounds great, thanks. You bringing your boyfriend with you to Under?”

  There’s that word again, Malcolm thought. “Stuart’s at the carpenters’ workshop today. I’ll know more later.”