Go Dwarf Yourself

by Martha Carr

  With a sigh, she lowered the weapon, ejected the magazine, and tossed both pieces into the corner of the living room. “Wanna tell me what that was about?”

  “Finding information. I thought that was obvious.” Johnny closed his knife and slipped it onto his belt before he strode out of the apartment hallway.

  “Not when it starts with you shouting, ‘That fucking giraffe.’”

  “But it ended with new intel we didn’t already have. So what’s the problem?”

  “Johnny—”

  “How you doin’, boys?”

  “Like a million bucks, Johnny.”

  “Like a million Cheetos.” Both dogs rooted around through what was left of the spilled Cheetos bag, the contents of which they’d quickly demolished. Rex looked up and licked his muzzle as his brother stuffed his face into the empty bag. “Can we raid the kitchen?”

  “All right, that’s enough.” Johnny snapped his fingers and both hounds turned to face him and immediately sat.

  “Hey. What gives?” Luther shook his head vigorously to dislodge the bag from the end of his snout. The bag fluttered to the floor. “Oh. Hey, Johnny. There you are.”

  “Time to go.” The dwarf nodded toward the front door and the hounds immediately fell in on either side.

  “Well, hold on a second.” Lisa grimaced when he disappeared through the broken front door and she jogged toward the kitchen to retrieve her firearm. She checked the magazine, shoved it into place, and returned the weapon to her shoulder holster before she hurried through the door after them. “Seriously, Johnny. I’m glad you squeezed the info out about this new monster, whoever the hell he is.”

  “Bigger than Lemonhead. It’s the perfect size to go after.”

  “Right. And I’m…well, I’m not sure how I feel about you letting that wizard go. I’m still mulling that one over.”

  He stopped at the end of the hall and turned to frown at her as he reached the door of the main staircase. “You’re worrying about the wrong guy.”

  “Not worried. Merely…unsure.”

  Johnny jerked the door open and strode down the stairs. The hounds squeezed through the heavy door before it shut, and Lisa shoved it open again with both hands.

  “Thanks for the backup, by the way.”

  She shrugged. “Well, yeah. That’s what partners are for.”

  “Okay.”

  “You know what else partners do?”

  Johnny rolled his eyes when he reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to push the door leading out to the alley behind the building. “I have no idea. I never had one.”

  “Partners share what’s going on.” The heavy door clacked shut behind her as she hurried down the alley to catch up with him.

  “If you say I need to start sharing my feelings, Agent Breyer, I can’t promise it won’t be the feeling of my fist hitting something you might not like.”

  She exhaled a heavy sigh, finally caught up to him, and cast a glance at Luther trotting between them. “Look. No offense, but your feelings are the last thing on my priority list right now.”

  “None taken. That’s how I prefer it.” He turned onto the next street to head toward their hotel in Tribeca and ignored the other pedestrians. Most of them stared at the sight of a dwarf with a gray dusting of plaster and pieces of wall in his auburn hair and beard and smears of blood on his hand.

  “But I do think you owe me an explanation for why you barged into that apartment because of a damn giraffe statue. I don’t see the connection.”

  “I didn’t expect you to.” She wasn’t there fifteen years ago. And she didn’t spend fifteen years trying to come to terms with how useless she was when it mattered. I did.

  “Johnny. Come on.”

  He spun toward her and pointed at her with a blood-smeared finger. “No. If you bring it up again, I’ll finish this job on my own. And I promise you won’t be able to find me in this city.”

  Lisa folded her arms. “I could but that’s beside the point.”

  His lips twitched into a tight, humorless grimace of a smile. “Sure.”

  Taking a deep breath, she hurried to catch up with him again. “So now what? Are we looking for Lemonhead at this Monsters Ball tonight or the new monster who’s threatening the guy everyone else is afraid of?”

  “Both.”

  “That’s not keeping it simple.”

  “It’s fucking simple to me.” Eliminate Lemonhead at the ball, bring Amanda home, and find out who the fuck this bastard is putting his mark of the boar on everything again. Dawn’s killer is still out there and I’m gonna take everything from the fucker who took my daughter from me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Johnny scrolled through the old contacts on his phone to refresh his memory as they approached the Greenwich Hotel in Tribeca. There’s gotta be someone who’d know about this boar mark. Or at least someone who can point me in the right direction.

  “So I guess we’re done touring Manhattan,” Lisa muttered as she looked at the huge sign on the front of the hotel.

  “You are.” He glanced away from his phone and nodded toward the hotel. “I’m dropping you off.”

  “You what?”

  “I gotta take care of a few things.”

  “No. Absolutely not. You can’t simply lock me in my hotel room and finish whatever crusade you started above that smoke shop.” She pointed at him and raised an eyebrow. “If you say, ‘Watch me,’ I will knock you out right here on this sidewalk.”

  Despite the rage burning through him at the knowledge that Dawn’s killer was out there and almost challenging him to eliminate him, the dwarf smirked. “Fair enough.”

  “Good. If you’re heading out somewhere else, I’m coming with you.”

  “No, you’re not. This isn’t part of the case so you’re excused from dealing with it. I’ll be back before it’s time to head to the Monsters Ball.” He looked at his phone and continued to scroll through his contacts as he strode down the sidewalk.

  “Yeah. We both will.” She hurried after him again, scowling at the hotel. “I’m not staying behind.”

  “I’m not having this conversation—” His phone buzzed in his hand and he frowned at the number for The Low Place. “This one, on the other hand…”

  “Who is it?”

  He ignored her and accepted the call. “Ernie.”

  “Hey, Johnny. Listen, I heard a few things about that girl you’re looking for.”

  He paused. Not Dawn. Of course it isn’t. “Yeah, lemme have it.”

  “Word’s spreadin’ about the Boneblade makin’ moves to get ready for that ball tonight. They’re moving the girl. I wish I could tell you from where, but one of my guys mentioned Brooklyn. Someone else heard they might be comin’ from The Bronx too, so it’s a tossup. But if you wanna strike before you try to blast into the Monsters Ball—”

  “Now would be the time. Thanks, Ernie.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, Ernie. Maybe you can help me with somethin’ else.”

  “I can try.”

  For a brief moment, Johnny considered asking the old elf about the mark of the boar. It isn’t a conversation to have over the phone and certainly not something I can make a top priority right now. Amanda can’t afford it.

  “Never mind. I’ll come down to the bar later and run a few things by you.”

  “That works for me. Good luck, Johnny.”

  “Luck doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it, but thanks.” He ended the call with the sound of Ernie’s low chuckle the last sound he heard. With a small smile, he slid his phone into his jacket pocket and rubbed his mouth and chin.

  “What is it?” Lisa frowned, her arms folded across her chest.

  “They’re moving her.”

  “Amanda?”

  “Yeah. The bets are split down the middle on this one. Half on the Boneblade coming from Brooklyn, the other half on The Bronx.”

  “Damn.” She grimaced. “That doesn’t leave much wiggle room if
we choose the wrong one.”

  “It doesn’t leave any room.” Johnny glanced briefly at his hounds. “You don’t have anything of the girl’s to track, do you?”

  “I wish I did.”

  “Well then, we have to make our minds up real quick and hope it’s the right choice.”

  Lisa nodded and stared at the sidewalk. “Or we could head to Falcon Towers now. We could try to intercept them before they can get her inside for the Monsters Ball.”

  “It’s too early to bring her out there now.” He glanced at his watch. “We still have over five hours until that psycho auction kicks off and it’s too much time for things to go wrong.”

  “Then what do you suggest?”

  “Give me a minute, huh?” Johnny folded his arms in a mirrored pose and glared across the street. If I had time to sit and think about it, I’d be having a fucking drink.

  * * *

  Amanda Coulier sat in the back of the van, her hands and her ankles bound in front of her in handcuffs. The vehicle swayed uncomfortably as it increased speed on whatever highway they’d turned onto. She’d stopped counting the turns twenty minutes before.

  “Yo, Max.” The half-wizard who’d been shoved into the back of the van with her sniffed and ran a hand through his hair. The stink of his body odor assaulted her nose, and she grimaced beneath the black bag they’d drawn over her head. “Tony’s asking about a pitstop.”

  “Fucking Tony doesn’t call the shots.” The driver growled his annoyance.

  “Yeah, neither do you. What if I need a pitstop too, huh? Did you ever think of that?”

  “Man, you should have thought about that before we left the goddamn warehouse,” the gnome in the passenger seat grumbled. “I swear you’re the dumbest asshole I ever met.”

  “Hey, fuck you, you little pissant.”

  Max chuckled in the front seat.

  “What are you laughin’ at?”

  “You said pissant.”

  “So?”

  “It sounds like pissin’ ants. Like Carl’s a fucking ant.”

  “Fuck you,” the gnome added.

  “Yeah, fuck you, Max.” The half-wizard slumped into the seat across the back of the van from Amanda. She heard his rifle click against the unbuckled seatbelt. “So are we makin’ a stop or what?”

  “No. Tony can fuckin’ hold it and so can you. We’re about to reach the bridge.”

  Amanda took a deep breath. This is it. I can do this at the bridge and they won’t be able to follow me.

  “Fuck.” The half-wizard grunted. “I’ll piss in this bottle, then.”

  “Man, don’t take your fuckin’ Johnson out in the van.”

  “I’ll be quick!” The sound of a plastic bottle top being unscrewed filled the space, followed by a zipper being pulled down. The van went over a pothole and rocked Amanda forward before her back slammed against the side of the van. “Fuck. Hey, take it easy, will ya? You want me to piss all over the place?”

  “Not so quick, huh?” Max and Carl both sniggered in the front.

  “You fuckin’ morons,” the half-wizard muttered. The sound of him relieving himself rose over the bump and occasional squeak of the van’s failing suspension. He sighed. “Oh, yeah.”

  “Come on, Reggie. Save that shit for your bedroom.”

  Carl barked a laugh. “You still live with your mom, right?”

  The magicals in the front burst out laughing.

  Reggie grunted and screwed the lid onto the half-full bottle.

  Now. It’s now or never before he picks the gun up.

  “Man, fuck you gu— What the hell?”

  When Amanda shifted, the handcuffs around her wrists and ankles clinked to the floor. She yanked the bag off her head, leapt out of her clothes toward Reggie, and pounded him against the wall of the vehicle.

  “Ah, shit! She’s a goddamn—” His words ended in a tearing sound, followed by a gurgle.

  Amanda had latched her wolf’s jaws around his throat and ripped it out.

  “Holy shit!”

  Before Carl would reach for the gun at his hip, she bounded through the small space between the front seats and snatched the gnome’s forearm between her jaws. Carl screamed.

  “Get it off me, man! Get this fuckin’ thing off me!”

  “Shit!” Max tried to keep the van inside the lines of the road as they approached the Brooklyn Bridge and draw the gun at his hip at the same time.

  “Max! What the—” The sickening laceration of flesh and muscle and crunch of bone filled the cab. The gnome shrieked mindlessly over and over, and she tossed her head to spit his detached forearm out.

  Blood sprayed across the windshield a second before the bloody end of the gnome’s forearm and hand thumped into Max’s lap. “Oh, shit! Holy shit! What the fuck?”

  The van swerved and he tried to correct it as he jumped around in his seat beneath his comrade’s dismembered limb. Carl stopped screaming when her jaws closed around his throat.

  Max shouted in surprise when the metal barrier before the start of the bridge raced up to meet them. He jerked on the wheel, the tires struck the curb and the barrier, and the vehicle launched into freefall before it rolled three times and stopped at the base of the bridge.

  Tires squealed on the asphalt outside, followed by blaring horns and a few select shouts from New York drivers who barely managed to escape a pileup.

  Amanda kicked against the dashboard behind her and realized she’d landed on the passenger-side window with the street directly below it. Max hung suspended above her, his hair dangling down the side of his forehead. He moaned and his eyelids fluttered open, and he immediately struggled to undo his seatbelt when he saw the small but deadly gray wolf growling at him, her hackles raised.

  “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

  She slashed his chest and throat with her front paws and rose on her back legs to reach as far as she could. When the blood dripped down his neck and face with a steady patter on the passenger seat below him, she stopped.

  Get out of the van, Amanda.

  With a growl, she vaulted over the passenger seat and scrambled to get her footing before she launched across the back of the van. The double doors at the back were badly dented on one side, and she charged forward to shove her shoulder against it. With a thump, she bounced back, lost her balance, and shook her head to clear the pain in her side.

  Again. Only one more.

  Backing up with a snarl, she crouched and surged toward the doors again. This time, they popped open with a squeal of bending metal and she tumbled out onto the asphalt.

  “Gotcha!” A man with a red birthmark covering one side of his jaw threw himself at the young wolf and knocked her sideways.

  Her claws scrabbled across the asphalt and she writhed in his arms before she managed to kick herself free. She turned and pounced on him to hurl him onto his back. The man’s eyes widened when she attacked him again and ripped a chunk from his cheek.

  “Ah! Fuck!”

  “Get the girl!” Two other white, nondescript vans exactly like the one she’d forced to crash had pulled over on the shoulder and now, half a dozen Boneblade members raced after her as they drew guns and summoned spells. A dark-gray Chrysler stopped behind the last van and five more magical thugs spilled out of the open doors to join the chase.

  Amanda spun, panting, and located the entrance to the pedestrian bridge of the East River. No cars. Better option.

  She darted around the metal barrier and raced up the incline of the pedestrian bridge. A shattering blast of icy shards struck the side of the enclosed walkway on her right. Ice pelted off her coat as she surged forward, but she kept running. Bullets pinged off the concrete and metal to her left and right.

  “Don’t shoot her, you fucking morons! We need her alive!”

  Footsteps pounded up the bridge in pursuit. She recognized the patter of four paws racing faster than anyone else on two legs and spun seconds before a massive black wolf launched at her. She ducked benea
th the grown shifter’s body and spun to clamp her jaws around his hind leg.

  The black beast snarled and kicked her off. She impacted sideways against the pedestrian bridge’s enclosure and shook it off before she scrambled to all fours again.

  “What are you doing, Lenny?” a half-Kilomea shouted as his huge feet pounded up the bridge toward them. “Bring her the fuck down!”

  As the black wolf leapt at her again, Amanda bounced against the metal gate lining the walkway and hurtled past its snapping jaws. She scrambled to get her footing again on the path and broke into a run.

  A jogger pressed himself against the far side of the walkway as she raced past. He jerked his earbuds out as if that would somehow make more sense of the small gray wolf who raced up the bridge, the black wolf behind her, and almost a dozen huge men with drawn weapons barreling after her.

  She darted away from the blast of crackling green magic that burst against the cement on her left. I can’t do this on my own. There are too many. If Brooklyn has any other shifters, I need to find them.

  Amanda pushed herself faster toward the top of the bridge that seemed way too far away and the young wolf raised her head to the sky and uttered a long, piercing howl. It was a call for help.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I don’t think we have a minute, Johnny.” Lisa turned to look down the street but no one cared about a dwarf and a half-Light Elf arguing on the sidewalk.

  “You’re not helping.” He studied the paving, then turned north. “I’m goin’ with—”

  “Johnny.” Rex jerked his head up and his ears twitched to follow the sound.

  Luther did the same. “That sound like a pup to you?”

  “A scared pup. Johnny, that’s her.”

  He stared at his hounds. “Are you sure?”

  Lisa sighed and her shoulders sagged. “Please don’t tell me you spent fifteen years retiring your sanity too—”