by K. C. Crowne
“I was. My dad was pushing for me to bring my girlfriend out.”
“But he said he always tries to get you out here. This isn’t much different.”
Christopher shrugged. “Maybe not. I just know that he wouldn’t give up until I agreed.”
“Maybe because he wanted to see you,” I suggested.
Christopher rolled his eyes. “If he wanted to see me that badly, he could come to New York City.”
“Have you ever asked him to? Maybe he doesn’t feel like you’d want him to.”
“Why are you defending my dad all of a sudden? You’re supposed to be on my side, remember?”
“I am on your side, Christopher,” I defended. “I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, if it means defending my dad, please stop. I know him better than you do. You’ve spent a few hours with him compared to my years,” he said.
I cringed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t discount your feelings like that. I’m only trying to help.” I sighed and added, “I think your father might be more openminded than you think, but I can’t say for certain.”
“No, you can’t,” Christopher agreed hotly. He picked up the menu and perused it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. When the waitress came, he ordered a cheeseburger.
“I’ll have the same,” I said, not really in the mood to eat anymore. I hated fighting with Christopher, but I also knew him well enough to know that sometimes I just had to give him space.
“Listen,” he said. “Sorry to get so snappy with you, but being around my family…I don’t know. It puts me in a weird head space.”
“I get it. Not like you have the most normal family situation in the world.”
There was a moment of silence, and I could tell he wanted to say something.
“Tyler wants to go out after lunch,” Christopher announced suddenly. “Is it okay if I drop you off back home and head out?”
Unlike the night before, it was still early. The sun was still out, and I couldn’t imagine staying cooped up in Christopher’s room the entire time.
Maybe I wouldn’t.
There was a lot of space to walk and explore, a chance to clear my head. I could visit the horses in the stables. That sort of afternoon sounded lovely to me. Unlike Christopher, I was enjoying my time at the ranch and wasn’t eager for it to end.
“Sure,” I agreed amicably. “I just want you to be happy, Christopher.”
“Thank you.” His face and voice softened a bit as he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
Ooo000ooo
Mama G was in the kitchen when we returned to the house. Christopher was running up to get changed, but I stopped to talk to her. She was humming to herself when she saw me from the corner of her eye.
“Well hello, dear. You have fun riding today?”
“I did,” I said, beaming happily. “It was amazing.”
Mama G was kneading some dough, and she caught me watching - wondering what she was making. She answered my unspoken question. “Making some dinner rolls for tonight. I don’t always get a chance to make them from scratch anymore, but when we have guests, well, I like to do what I can.”
The kitchen was a lovely little place, small and cozy like the rest of the house. The sunlight caught motes of flour in the air, the scents of spices all around me. Through the windows over the sink the ranch spread out before us. I imagined Mama G cooking in this room over the years, taking satisfaction in making meals that’d get her kids growing up big and strong.
A well-worn cookbook was on one of the kitchen counters, opened up to a dog-eared page. Ingredients were scattered around next to it, all arrayed in what appeared to be a chaotic placement. But Mama G struck me as someone who had a method to her chaos. And the food was good enough to make that case.
“Do you need some help?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind kneading a bit. My old hands get tired pretty darn quick these days.”
I washed my hands at the sink beside her. She stepped away from the counter, and I took her place. I kneaded the dough, trying to imitate what she’d been doing.
“So, how did you really meet my grandson?” she asked, surprising me with her question.
“We met at college orientation, just like we talked about.”
“Really?” She seemed to study me, waiting to catch me in a lie. I realized it wasn’t just Silas who had doubts about us being together.
“Really,” I laughed. “That’s the God’s honest truth. He sat down beside me and commented on my sweater, and he knew more about wool than any one person should know.”
Oops. If she was suspecting something, that might’ve been more evidence.
Mama G chuckled to herself. “Okay, that does sound like him. It just seems so strange that it took you two this long to, you know, get together.”
My smile fell, and I knew she was watching me. I’d given myself away.
“You don’t have to lie to me, dear,” Mama G murmured softly, her voice gentle.
“I—” I couldn’t lie to her, and I didn’t want to. But I also couldn’t betray my best friend’s trust. “I think you need to talk to Christopher. I really can’t speak for him about this.”
Mama G patted my shoulder. “That’s fine,” she said, nodding. “And you can stop kneading. The bread is ready to go in the fridge now.”
“Oh, okay,” I said, staring down at the dough. Kneading the dough had been satisfying. Feeling it underneath my hands, smashing it and knowing I was making something from it. Something that others would enjoy. I honestly had no idea that people still lived this way, that people made their own bread and rolls except for something fun to do. I always just picked up bread at the store, but this gave me a new appreciation. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“I think we’re done for now dear, but I appreciate your help.”
“Of course, Mrs. Walker—”
“Please, call me Mama G,” she reminded me with one of the warmest smiles I’d ever seen. “Even Christopher calls me that, so you can too. I prefer it to grandma anyway.”
“Okay, Mama G. Thank you.”
“You’re a good girl,” she observed. “I can see it in your eyes.”
So good that I was lying to all of them, sure. I smiled and averted my gaze. “Thank you.” Christopher came down the stairs, calling my name. “I’m in here.”
He rounded the corner, dressed in designer jeans and a tight, black top that showed off his fit body. He looked like he was heading out for a night on the town - not just hanging around the ranch.
“Oh, and where are you going? You just got back,” Mama G said, eyeing his outfit.
“Uh, nowhere,” Christopher lied, averting his gaze.
Mama G stepped up to her grandson and lifted his chin. He was at least a foot taller than her, but in that moment, he seemed more like a little boy. She made him look her in the eyes.
“You’re lying Christopher. Don’t lie to me.”
“Fine. I’m going out to meet a friend.”
Mama G glanced at me. “Are you going too?”
I opened my mouth to speak but didn’t know what Christopher wanted to tell her. I closed my mouth and let him talk. I really didn’t want to find myself under Grandma Mama G’s scrutiny.
“No, she wanted to stay here and relax.” He looked at me pleadingly. “Isn’t that right, Molly?”
“Yes, I’m enjoying it here.” That was the truth. “I think I’ll take a walk around the ranch and visit the horses some more, if that’s okay.”
“That’s more than okay. Our home is your home,” Mama G said, dropping Christopher’s chin. “I just want to make sure that my grandson is treating you well and you’re comfortable here.”
“Oh yes, everything is good,” I assured her. And again, it was the truth. I didn’t mind Christopher running off. I liked the serenity of having some time to myself at the ranch. He didn’t appreciate his home and always had something negative to say
about it. It was his right to feel however he wanted, but I didn’t see things the way he did.
And part of me was eager for him to leave because I wanted to spend more time with his father. Something I couldn’t do with him around.
Something I shouldn’t do regardless.
“I should be back in a couple hours,” Christopher told us.
“For dinner?” Mama G asked with a raised eyebrow. “Because I’m making your favorite tonight.”
“Yes, I’ll be back for dinner,” Christopher said, and he smiled a true smile for the first time since we’d gotten to the ranch.
“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of a book and it’s not going to read itself,” she said.
Mama G headed toward the stairs, and I walked Christopher to the front door. I guessed there was no sneaking out now that Mama G knew what was happening. Hopefully they bought his story that he was just visiting a friend and not someone more, though I was starting to suspect they were smarter than Christopher gave them credit for.
I watched as he drove off. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, the clean air filling my lungs.
In the city, it was constantly go, go, go. I always had something to do. Social obligations. Interviews. Internships. Networking events. Always something.
But here, I was free to do as I pleased. I could take a walk without having a destination in mind or a train to catch.
And I was going to enjoy it.
I walked the path behind the house. In the distance, I could see the guest houses and guest stables. The beautiful, sun-drenched prairie was behind all of that. I didn’t walk in that direction. Instead, I found myself walking toward the stables I’d been in earlier.
I had a hankering to spend some more time with the horses. And if Silas was still there, well, that would be a bonus, right? The thought of my pull toward him left me feeling guilty.
But it didn’t stop my feet from moving, taking me in the direction I saw him last.
Silas
“There you go, sweet girl,” I murmured, handing Martha a piece of apple. “You’re a good girl, you know that?”
She’d let me brush her and clean her hooves without a fight. Which was no surprise considering it was Martha, as gentle a horse as they came.
I thought about watching Molly with her. Often, a person gets on a horse clumsily, not intending to do harm. But they can put too much pressure on their back with their hands or kick them too hard to get them moving.
Not Molly.
She was as gentle with Martha as Martha was with her.
Molly thought about the horse, not just about the experience of riding her. She took great care with her, and watching her ride, even briefly, was a sight I wouldn’t soon forget. It was both sweet and beautiful.
She was beautiful.
Thinking of Molly brought back memories of almost kissing her. How dangerous that would have been. I hadn’t kissed a woman in so long, I wasn’t sure where it would stop. I couldn’t let myself lose control with her.
I walked over to Traveler and began brushing his coat. I spoke to him in soothing tones. Some days, I only spoke to the horses - I found them better company than most humans. There were some things you couldn’t talk to your siblings or mother about, no matter how close you were to them. Some things a man had to keep to himself.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned, expecting to see one of my brothers. My breath caught in my throat as I saw Molly standing at the entrance to the stable, the sunlight like a halo around her, highlighting her shape, making her look like an angel.
Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders, loose and free. Her smile was genuine and warm. Her eyes looked straight at me.
“You’re so good with them,” she said softly.
“They’re good to me too.”
The blood rushed south the moment I’d seen here in the doorway, and I couldn’t help but wonder what that sweet voice would sound like screaming my name in ecstasy. Don’t come over here, I thought to myself. Don’t come any closer.
As if I’d beckoned her, she moved toward me. Because the universe has one hell of a sense of humor. She stepped close to me, running a hand along Traveler’s smooth, brown coat. Her blue eyes looked more striking than I remembered.
“Where’s Christopher?” I asked.
“He went to meet a friend.”
“Again? Didn’t the two of you just go out with friends?”
She shrugged and averted her gaze. “Different friend, I guess.”
Her hands looked so tiny against the big body of the horse. Even more so against my own.
I was still brushing Traveler, and our hands briefly touched. Call it a cliché, but sparks flew - static electricity, that is. Traveler lurched back, neighing in protest.
“Oh I’m sorry, sweet boy,” Molly said, her eyes filled with such compassion for the horse. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” I said, dropping my hand from the horse, no longer wanting to risk us touching again.
Traveler calmed almost immediately. If it had been one of our other horses, we might have had a problem. But he calmed under her touch and with her soothing tone. She really was a natural. The horse could tell she was a good person, that she could be trusted.
Or maybe I was reading too much into it. Traveler trusted most people that weren’t too loud or rambunctious. He was good that way.
And Molly was a good woman, of that I had no doubt.
“You didn’t wanna go with him?”
Molly looked at me, confused at first until she realized I was talking about Christopher. “Oh no, I wanted to spend more time at the ranch. I’m a bit tired of traveling and running around. Besides, I wanted to spend some time with the horses and Christopher couldn’t be bothered.”
“Yeah, he’s never been much of an animal person.”
“I don’t get it,” she mused, a small frown on her face. “How could someone not appreciate animals? But yeah, you’re right. It’s just not his thing, I guess.”
“I don’t get it either, but his mother wasn’t much for animals either. She didn’t even wanna own a cat or a dog, much less a horse. She preferred people to animals, while I preferred animals.”
“He doesn’t talk about his mother much,” she revealed.
“He doesn’t?”
“Nope. It’s hard to get him to open up about his family,” she said. “But I guess he’s talked more about her than you.”
“Well that don’t surprise me. She raised him. I merely got him for a few years before he went off to college.”
She nodded and reached out her hand. It took me a moment to understand that she wanted the brush. I handed it to her and watched as she brushed the horse, stroking the coat gently. The repetitive motion was so relaxing to me, and it seemed to do the same for her.
“You know there’s still time to get to know him better.”
“I’ve tried,” I snorted. “He’s not interested in talkin’ to me.”
“He doesn’t think you’ll accept him for who he is. You need to show him that you will. He needs to trust you, Silas.”
“How can I do that when he wants nothin’ to do with me?”
She stopped brushing for a second, seeming to think over my question. “I don’t know. You’re both difficult.”
“I guess he inherited at least one trait from me,” I muttered, a quiet chuckle after.
Molly walked over to the other side of Traveler and I followed, my gaze moving over her body. I felt guilty for it as soon as it happened, but that didn’t mean I stopped looking.
“He inherited a lot from you, actually,” she told me.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” I chuckled.
“He looks just like you for one. There’s no denying he’s your son. The chiseled jawline, strong facial features,” she explained. “And he has your eyes.”
I wanted to ask her how much time she’d spent looking at my eyes to know that, but decided that would come off as flirty.
Too flirty.
She moved along Traveler’s side, stepping right up to me before I knew what was happening. She was standing close, looking up at me, and I didn’t move. “Beautiful eyes,” she said so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.
She licked those plump lips, batted those lashes.
And Christopher wasn’t here to interrupt us this time.
She stood up on her tiptoes and I leaned down to meet her, our lips touching before I even knew what hit me. Her mouth opened for me, inviting me in. I accepted the invitation, my tongue pushing past her lips, tasting her.
It was everything I had imagined. She was sweet and soft, everything a woman should be. The kiss lingered, the two of us turning our bodies toward one another and wrapping each other up in our arms. I couldn’t believe what was happening, that I’d actually lost control enough to do what I’d done, what I was doing.
But I couldn’t have stopped myself if I’d tried.
Molly pulled away, stepping backward and nearly tripping over her own feet. Her eyes were wide. “I’m so sorry,” she stammered. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, I’m sorry—”
Before I could finish, Molly took off running out of the stables, dropping the brush on the ground with a clatter.
I wanted to chase after her, but I didn’t.
Dammit, Silas. What happened?
But I knew what had happened – I’d lost control. And there was no going back.
Molly
Oh God. Oh my God. What did I just do?
I’d never moved so fast in my life. I had to get away from Silas, and fast. I went into the house and ran straight up the stairs to Christopher’s room. I walked into the room and shut the door behind me, pressing my back against it. I felt like the entire world could hear my heart beating and couldn’t trust being around anyone right now. I feared my face would give away my guilt.
I kissed my best friend’s dad.
I kissed Silas.
Yes, he’d kissed me back; I wasn’t the only one to blame. But I had practically asked for it. I came on to him. I had risen up on my tiptoes to press my lips to his. It all happened so fast, and it was over before I even had a chance to fully appreciate what was happening.