by K. C. Crowne
A warmth rushed down my thighs, and even though I was sore, it was a good kind of sore. A reminder of what we’d just done.
A reminder that I was no longer a virgin.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice surprisingly soft.
“I’m great,” I said, letting out a chuckle. “That was—well, that was amazing.”
“Good,” he said, kissing the tip of my nose.
Silence fell between us, though there were many words we needed to speak. As soon as the afterglow began to fade, I started to panic.
What did I do?
Silas seemed to be having the same thoughts, so I rolled over to face him.
“What are we going to do about this?”
“About what?” he asked.
“This!” I exclaimed, motioning to the two of us in the hay. “We can’t tell Christopher. He’d never forgive me. He’s my best friend and, well, I can’t even imagine what it would do to your relationship with him.”
Silas raised himself up on his elbow and stared down at me, deep in thought. He sighed. “We can’t tell him, and we can’t let this happen again.”
My heart leaped into my throat. The last part bothered me more than it should, even though I knew he was right. But the very idea that I’d never get to experience that again? Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed.
Okay, a lot.
“You’re absolutely right.” I hated lying to my best friend. If it was just my relationship with him in jeopardy, I’d have come clean. But I risked tearing apart father and son with my secret as well - and I couldn’t live with that.
Neither of us said another word. Silas hopped up and pulled his pants on, and I dressed quickly as well. I couldn’t even look at him, afraid that my feelings might give myself away. Afraid that he might have guessed my secret - that I was a virgin and he was my first, and that I couldn’t believe it had worked out this way.
I didn’t regret who or how I lost it, but the fact that we had to keep it a secret and cut ties? That part hurt. But that’s part of being an adult, Molly, I told myself. You make choices and you deal with the consequences of those choices.
No matter how much it hurt.
“Alright, I can walk you back to the house,” Silas offered, staring at the ground and running a hand over his beard.
“No, I’m fine,” I lied.
“It’s dark outside.”
“I’m a big girl, Silas,” I snapped, walking toward the exit.
“Yes, yes, you are,” he said softly. Almost too softly for me to hear.
I didn’t turn back around to see if he was watching me. I wanted to. I wanted to see if he was watching me walk away and thinking about what an amazing experience we had. But I didn’t dare.
I needed to keep my distance from him from now on.
For both of our sakes, and for Christopher’s as well.
Ooo000ooo
Christopher had texted me that he was meeting Tyler while I was in the middle of screwing his dad. I responded as I walked to the house, telling him I’d see him later. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered all the times my best friend had been there for me - the times he’d cancelled his plans because a guy broke my heart, or how when we found out I lost my internship, he held me and comforted me, told me everything would be okay.
And then I’d gone and fucked his dad.
The night breeze felt cool against my skin, and I wasn’t too eager to go inside. Except I was worried I might see Silas again, and I didn’t have the strength to see him again so soon after what we’d done.
I stepped slowly toward the house, then around to the front. Once I was in front of the pond, I stopped and stared into its dark depths.
It still amazed me how dark and quiet it could be out there. The only sounds were from the crickets and maybe a bullfrog in the distance. The wind rustled against the trees. I took a deep breath and had a pep talk with myself.
It’s for the best, Molly. Not for you, maybe. But it’s selfish to tell him just to ease your conscious. It could potentially ruin the relationship with his father, not that the relationship needed any help falling apart. You don’t want to add to that tension. And it was just one time. It won’t happen again.
It can’t happen again.
Let’s forget that it even happened.
It still didn’t sit right with me.
I’d lost my virginity and couldn’t even tell my best friend about it because he’d ask questions. He’d want to know who. And I could maybe lie by omission, but not outright lie to his face. And for all Christopher’s self-centeredness, he could always tell when I was lying.
I don’t know for how long I stayed by the pond, but eventually my feet moved toward the house. I felt like I wasn’t even in control of my body anymore; I was too focused on the thoughts in my head.
And the feeling between my legs - the wetness, the warmth, and the soreness made me feel all tingly inside.
I stepped inside the house and made a beeline for the stairs, not wanting to run into anyone along the way. I made it to Christopher’s room and shut the door behind me, and that’s when the tears started to fall.
I’m a horrible person, I chided myself. How could I do this to my best friend? I ran a hand through my hair and came back with some hay.
Dammit. I almost forgot about the stupid hay.
I walked to the bathroom and drew a hot bath. As I climbed in, I felt the soreness on my body - the scratches from the hay, mostly. But the water soothed me. I washed my hair and laid back, closing my eyes.
If it wasn’t for the part about lying to my best friend and having to stay away from Silas, the experience itself was one I enjoyed reliving. I couldn’t believe it had happened to me. I had finally given myself to a man - and it was better than I’d dreamed.
I adjusted in the bath, becoming aroused thinking about it. No, you can’t do that, Molly. You can’t let yourself enjoy the thought of it. Not when you betrayed your best friend.
The bedroom door opened and Christopher called out, “Molly?”
“I’m in the bath,” I said, lowering my body into the water until it was up to my eyeballs.
I couldn’t avoid him forever, but it was tempting. I could just stay in the bath for a while, maybe until it was time to leave. But I lived with Christopher; hard to avoid him when we shared a tiny studio.
I had to face the music sooner or later.
Christopher knocked on the bathroom door just as I was preparing to drain the water. “Can I come in?”
He was gay, never had any interest in women or our bodies, and he’d seen me naked plenty of times. It had never bothered me before. But now, I felt different. I was a different woman, one who was no longer virginal and innocent.
“I’ll be out in a sec.”
I pulled the drain and stood up, grabbing a towel to wrap around my body. I piled my hair above my head in a separate towel and exited the bathroom.
Christopher was pacing the room, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“What’s going on?” I asked, eager that there was something to talk about, something to distract me from the lie in my heart. I walked over to the suitcase beside the bed and dug out some night clothes to change into “Have a good night, I guess?”
“It was amazing,” Christopher squealed. “Tyler actually took me back to his place tonight. I got to meet his parents and everything.”
I cocked an eyebrow and glanced at him. “Aren’t you worried they might talk to your family?”
Christopher waved it off. “My family and his don’t talk. Besides, we didn’t tell them we were dating or anything. Because we’re not officially yet, but I think it’s coming. After that, we had the most amazing sex at his place. One day, I hope you get to experience something so magical.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Someday you will.”
I dropped the pajama pants I’d picked up, and maybe it was the look on my face, but Christopher’s smile faltered. “Is everything okay with you?�
�
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m happy for you,” I said. My hand was shaking as I picked up the pants. “I’m gonna change. Mind turning around?”
“Uh, you know I’m not gonna look at you.”
I flinched. “Please, just turn around for a second.”
Christopher looked at me, a worried expression on his face. I thought he might delve deeper and ask me why I was acting so strangely, but he didn’t. I couldn’t explain why, but I needed my privacy more than ever in that moment.
Christopher turned his back to me, and I dropped the towel.
We’d told each other everything for the last seven years. He’s seen me naked, at my most vulnerable, and I had been fine with it. But now, the secret was weighing on me. There were times I didn’t want to tell him something, things I wanted to keep for myself - but Christopher had a way of getting anything out of me.
And I knew it was only a matter of time before he got this out of me too.
Silas
“Skipping dinner again?” I knew the look on Mama G’s face; she was disappointed. She sighed when I didn’t answer and continued. “Your son leaves tomorrow. The least you can do is spend the last evening with him. You’re a grown man. You shouldn’t be avoiding Christopher because of something he said.”
I cringed at the idea, but my attention was on one of the horses, so my mother didn’t see the look.
I wasn’t avoiding Christopher.
I was avoiding Molly.
But she was right. I needed to spend time with my son. I wanted to repair that relationship. But every time I was around him, Molly was there too.
And I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
The way her gorgeous body felt against mine.
The way I’d moved inside her, and how it felt so natural to be there.
And then, of course, I’d look at Christopher and feel guilty for having sex with his best friend. There was no winning.
“I’ll be in after dinner to talk to him,” I said.
I couldn’t sit at the table and look at her. I was afraid the entire room would know what we’d done.
My mother sighed loudly and walked away. I knew she was right - I should be at dinner. But I felt like being there would cause more damage to our already fragile relationship than skipping it.
I’d find him later and ask him to talk, alone. Not in the kitchen, but somewhere more private. And I’d tell him all the things I wanted to say to him - how proud I was of him, how much I loved him no matter what. He didn’t have to change for me. I just wanted him to be happy, healthy, and safe. I’d just been scared of him being so far away; I felt like we’d never have a relationship with him in New York City, which was why I fought him going back.
It had been a mistake, and I realized it now.
And even though I knew getting all those words out might be hard, I had to try. I had to get it through to him that I was sorry - truly sorry. For everything. Even the things which I could not control.
All I wanted was a relationship with my son.
I mucked the stalls and fed the horses, checking the time. Dinner had started an hour before, so I gave it a little while longer before heading into the house.
I showered first, not wanting to spoil my mother’s dinner table with the smell of the barn. Finally, cleaned up, I found myself outside Christopher’s bedroom door and I knocked.
“Come in,” Molly called.
I hesitated, considering leaving. I wasn’t sure I could face her.
But I moved forward, for Christopher’s sake.
I opened the door only to find Molly, alone, on the bed. She was in the same silk pajamas from the first day I saw her. Spaghetti straps showed off her freckled shoulders. The short shorts highlighted her thick, curvaceous thighs.
I swallowed hard and shut the door behind me, for her privacy. I’d hate for any of my brothers to see her like that.
She didn’t cover herself, which surprised me.
“I’m looking for Christopher,” I said, my voice not sounding like my own.
“Oh. He went out.” Her cheeks were bright pink, and she didn’t look me in the eye.
“Again?”
She nodded. “It’s really ok. I don’t need him to babysit me. I’m perfectly fine hanging out here and…” she trailed off, her gaze pulling from mine.
I nodded.
I needed to leave. I should have turned and walked out the door, never looking back. They were leaving the next day, and I’d never see Molly again.
The thought bothered me more than it should’ve.
Instead of leaving, I stood next to the bed and thought about how good it had felt to be buried inside her, to feel her body writhing under me. Her voice so beautiful as it cried out my name.
I adjusted my jeans, trying to hide the erection as well as trying to relieve the pressure of it pressed against the zipper.
“Is there something else?” Molly asked, finally lifting her head and looking me in the eye.
My heart stopped. Her hair fell over her shoulders, strands covering her face from view - her beautiful, sweet face.
“I just—” I found myself at a loss for words. “I guess, I wanted to say goodbye.”
“Oh, but we’ll be saying goodbye tomorrow with everyone else,” she said softly.
“I know, but I wanted to say it to you, too. After everything that happened, I thought… well, I don’t know what I thought.”
That pulled a soft giggle from her mouth, and my heart swelled.
Dammit, Silas, leave the fucking bedroom already.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I blurted before I had the decency to think over what I was saying.
Her eyes widened, and she rose from the bed across from me. I thought maybe she was trying to put distance between us, but she walked around and toward me.
“I can’t stop thinking of you either,” she confessed. “And I know it’s wrong, but this is my last night here and—”
She didn’t even have to ask.
I knew it was wrong, and I knew I should’ve been more in control. But having Molly standing there in front of me was like nothing else. I could feel my walls coming down, my desire for her beyond compare.
What was this woman doing to me? How had I gone for so long without feeling the way I did at that moment?
I closed the distance and wrapped my arms around her, my lips finding hers as easily as they had the first time.
Her hands moved through my hair, fingernails lightly scraping my scalp as we kissed. I carried her to the bed and sat her down on it, then I fell to my knees in front of her. I was drunk on her scent, on her taste, and nothing could stop me. I kissed down her jawline, to her neck, nibbling her soft flesh as she trembled.
There was no way she could leave without me tasting her - truly tasting her.
I nudged her back onto the bed and stripped her tiny silk shorts off. She wasn’t wearing any panties. She was shaved mostly smooth with only a tuft of soft, blonde hair at the top. I ran a finger over her lips, teasing them before parting them.
She spread her thighs, inviting me as she watched, biting her lip and staring at me with those big doe eyes.
I dove between her legs, my tongue finding the magic spot instantly. Her entire body spasmed, her back arching upward as she groaned. I grabbed her ass, pulling her to me, wanting to bury my face in her sweetness.
She was so wet, so warm, so delicious.
I circled her clit and explored every inch of her, trying to memorize her skin, and discovering exactly what made her react.
Her hands were on my head again, pressing me into her. Her legs were over my shoulders, her heels digging into my back. She writhed and squirmed, her soft moans causing my erection to throb in my jeans. I feared I might explode long before I got a chance to be inside her again, and what a shame that would be.
“Silas, yes,” she whimpered. “I’m about to…”
She never finished that sentence. Her words broke off into moa
ns as she came, crying out as her body reacted to my mouth. I could feel her pussy spasming around my tongue and imagined it wrapped around my cock - milking me for everything I had.
Molly relaxed onto the bed, pulling at my hair. “Come here,” she begged. “Please.”
I stood and removed my pants, dropping them to the floor.
“Shirt too,” she ordered. She sat upright and pulled the silk tank top off over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra, as I suspected. Her breasts were plump and round, nipples pink and erect.
I didn’t think it was possible to get harder than I was, but I was wrong.
I ripped my shirt off and joined her in bed, and our bodies wrapped around each other. I found her opening, my erection rubbing against her wetness. She grabbed it in her tiny hands, guiding it into her as I hovered above her. I thrust into her, and I thought I was going to lose all control the instant her tightness wrapped around me.
I froze like that, getting used to the sensation. Damn, how could she be so tight?
I rocked back and forth, thrusting into her as I kissed every inch of her face and neck. My hands groped at her breasts, and I wanted to see more of her - I wanted to kiss them, suck them.
I rolled us over in one swift movement, as she squealed in surprise. She was now situated on top of me.
“Sit up so I can see all of you,” I growled. “I want to watch you ride me.”
She rose and moved back and forth, slowly at first. She seemed to be unsure of what she was doing, but soon found a rhythm that seemed to work for her - grinding her pussy against me.
Taking her nipple between my lips, I sucked gently. She let out a gasp, throwing her head back. “Oh God…”
She began riding me harder and faster. I grabbed onto her ass and helped her move up and down on top of me, never taking my mouth from her nipple.
She cried out, her body flailing. Her breast fell from my lips, but I kept up the rhythm. “Come for me, Molly,” I demanded.
Her words were almost indecipherable. “I—I am.”
I didn’t even care if someone heard us - I wanted to make her scream so fucking loud. And she did. Her head fell forward, and she buried her face in the crook of my neck as she came, her pussy spasming around my cock and pushing me over the edge.