Love So Deep

by Kathleen Ball

  She gave him a sad smile, walked by him, and grabbed one of the chairs. She put it closer to the fireplace and sat down. Maybe the storm would be over soon.

  She had nerve, sticking to her story. How could she accept shelter from him when her child was out in the blizzard? Then there were the bruises on the child’s body. He had to fight the urge to give her a bruise or two. He’d never hit a woman before and he didn’t intend to start now, even if she did deserve it.

  The cabin felt smaller, more closed in with her in it. She wasn’t going to stay without working for her keep. “Can ya cook?”

  She jerked her head and glanced at him. “Yes.”

  “What about keeping a place clean and the like?”

  “I can do it all. Don’t worry, I don’t intend to sit around waiting for the snow to subside. I appreciate all you have done for me but I’ll be lighting out as soon as possible.”

  “And the boy?”

  “I don’t even know his name. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. No, the boy will not be coming with me.”

  He grunted. “No sense arguing about it now. The snow will be there for months to come.”

  Her eyes widened and her throat dried. “Months?”

  “Yes, months. You’re in the high country. Once it snows it’s pretty much going to keep snowing until spring.” He briefly enjoyed her horrified expression, until he realized he was stuck with her. “You mentioned your parents died.”

  “My mother started to grow weaker and weaker and no matter what we tried, she died. It was only three weeks into the drive. My dad fell off his horse and broke his neck about two weeks ago. It was his turn to hunt and I drove the wagon. His horse showed up, dragging him.” She closed her eyes. “It wasn’t pleasant to see. We buried him and they banned me in the same day. I’ll never get over losing my parents but being turned away hurt. I nursed many of the people on the train, especially the children. I helped to birth two, but in the end it didn’t matter.”

  Her sadness tugged at his heart. “They banned the two of ya?”

  “Two? Oh, you still think he’s mine. No, they left me alone.” She bristled.

  “I see.” He didn’t see at all.

  “Do you like living here alone? How far are you from town?”

  “I enjoy my solitude. The town is a good two to three days away. I don’t go in very often.”

  “Sounds lonely.” Her voice grew soft.

  “It can be but it’s better than the alternative.”

  “The alternative?”

  He started to reply but a cry from his bed drew his attention. They both went over to see the boy. He sat next to him and was surprised when he wrapped his arms around him and called him pa. Bewildered he turned and locked gazes with Samantha. She just shrugged.

  “Do you know what your name is?”

  “Yes, Sir, I’m Brian.” He nodded hesitantly.

  “I’m Patrick and, well, you know your ma.”

  Brian just nodded, his eyes widened as he stared at his mother. Then he smiled.

  “How’d you end up outside all alone?” Patrick asked gently.

  “I dunno. I don’t think I know. How?” He raised his eyebrows waiting for an answer.

  “Perhaps your ma knows.”

  “I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone knows.”

  “What’s the last thing you remember?”

  “I was sleeping in the back of a wagon. A man was takin’ me to live with him. He said I’d be able to do a lot of work.”

  Patrick gave her a pointed look. “Doesn’t sound like a good situation.”

  Brian smiled. “Here is better. Got any food?”

  “I bet your ma could get you some food. I’d like some too.”

  Samantha stiffened but didn’t say a word. She went to the pot hanging above the fire and stirred the stew before she ladled it onto two plates. She grabbed the two other forks he owned and brought them both food. “It’s hot.”

  “Thank you.”

  She stared at him for a moment and then nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Brian watching him and taking a bite when he did. He wanted to chuckle but thought it best not to. He wasn’t sure what was going on but they’d be stuck with each other for a while and they needed to work things out. The first thing he needed to do was find Samantha’s dress. The occasional peek at her shapely legs was starting to give him ideas. Ideas he had no business thinking. Maybe she would be interested in a relationship with him but he didn’t want any children to come of it. It was better to keep his mind on other things.

  “I’ll go hunting tomorrow and see what I can find. For some reason my traps were all empty today. I don’t rightly remember that ever happening before.”

  Brian hung his head. “Solomon stoled them.”

  His brow furrowed. “Solomon?”

  “Yep, he’s the man I belong to. He took all your animals and reset the traps. I must have fallen off the wagon.”

  “He has a wagon up here? It’s sure to get stuck.”

  “We ain’t from around here. We’ve been traveling and Solomon saw Ma get throwed away so he followed her but he said she was a tricky one and hard to find. He always took the animals. He likes the fur. Soon we were going to hunt for gold.”

  “Brian, I want ya to think hard before you answer my next question. Is she really your ma?”

  Brian’s hands shook but he looked Patrick straight in the eye. “Yes sir, she’s my ma.”

  Chapter Two

  Too stunned to protest, she stood there and didn’t say a thing. Why in the world would this child claim to be hers? Things were bad enough around here as far as trust went. There was intelligence in Brian’s eyes, and she had a feeling he knew exactly what he was saying.

  “Well if you two are done eating, I’ll just get to washing the dishes.”

  Patrick stood and he seemed taller than she remembered. “I’d like to talk to ya, outside.”

  “I’d be happy to as soon as my dress is dry.”

  He looked her up and down then nodded. “I bet it’ll be dry soon.”

  Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Yes, soon.”

  She poured warm water into a basin and washed the few dishes and finally the pot—taking her time, trying to delay their talk. What was there to say? He didn’t believe her. Her word had always been good enough while her parents were alive, then suddenly she wasn’t to be trusted. None of it made sense to her at all. Hadn’t she been through enough? Sighing, she dried her hands and grabbed her dress. She was lucky to be alive.

  “Where shall I change?”

  He blinked at her and looked around. “I guess we’ll just turn our backs.”

  “Fine.” She waited until they had their backs to her and quickly changed into her dress. “I’ll need my coat.”

  “That piece of cloth won’t keep you warm. Come on, we can share mine.”

  Her face grew hot. “I don’t think that would be proper.”

  “Out here we work with what we’ve got. Come on.” He put the giant fur coat on and held his arm out for her to get under. “See, not so bad.”

  It was much too close but she didn’t utter a word as they walked outside in accord. He took her to the barn, which was almost as cold as the outdoors, but it kept the wind off them.

  “What’s your horse’s name?”

  “Ahearn, it means Lord of Horses in Gaelic.”

  “I see.”

  “Samantha, ya must know my confusion and my exasperation. There are too many things that don’t add up and I’m sorry but ya come out at the losing end. I don’t know ya, but the child inside says you’re his ma and I believe him. I don’t know what led to ya both being out in the forest but ya didn’t even mention him once while I was rescuing you. What do you have to say for yourself?”

  She tensed and her chin began to wobble. It was all too much. Her whole life had turned on end and now this. “All I know is t
he truth. He is not my son. I have never lain with a man. I have never tried to steal any woman’s husband and I have never tried to entice a man, ever. I am from a good, God-fearing family and I don’t understand any of this. If you want to put me out, do it now before I begin to like you or something.”

  “There’s not much to like. I’ll not be putting ya out but I’ll not be trusting ya either. I expect ya to treat your son with care. Those bruises came from somewhere. Perhaps not from you. My best guess is they came from your man, Solomon.”

  “I don’t know why I even bother talking to you.” Quick as lightning she unwrapped herself from his coat and ran out into the blizzard. The light from the lamp led her back to the cabin stairs and by the time she got inside, she felt chilled to the bone. She drew a blanket around her but she couldn’t get her teeth to stop chattering.

  The door slammed open. Patrick looked at her and began to mutter something about how people don’t use the brains God gave them. “Let me get you some tea.”

  “You have tea up here?”

  “I’m not much of a coffee drinker. Brian, move over so I can put your ma next to you.”

  Before she could object, he lifted her and tucked her into the bed next to her supposed son. As soon as she had Brian alone, he had a lot to answer for.

  The gentleness of Patrick surprised her as he prepared her tea, plumped up her pillow and made sure she was warming up. He handed her the tin cup and told her to be careful, it was hot. He was a strange, contrary man, to say the least. If it truly ended up a long, hard winter as Patrick predicted, she’d have to find a way to get along with him. It meant she was going to have to swallow her pride. She had a feeling it would involve a lot of tongue biting.

  As she sipped her tea, she pondered her quandary. How had everything gotten so turned around? It hadn’t been too long ago she was helping her parents pack the wagon for a new start in Oregon. Her father already purchased land and made a deal with a rancher for some cattle. It was an exciting time. Then her mother died and she’d thought she couldn’t go on, only to have her father die. She assumed she could drive the team herself and continue.

  They all turned on her and no matter how hard she thought about it, no answers came. It started with Stinky Sullivan and Old Thomas and ended up with her elderly friend Eunice throwing the bag of food at her feet. They took her wagon and left her there. She sat up straighter and her jaw dropped.

  Patrick glanced at her. “What?” His impatience laced his voice.

  “They stole my wagon and the money.”

  Patrick stood up and walked to her side, taking the cup out of her hands. “What money?”

  Running her hands over her face, she tried to take a deep calming breath. “No wonder Stinky was so insistent I leave with nothing. He started the rumors about me the second my father died. I hardly had him buried before others began to snub me. The deed to my papa’s land was in the wagon.” Her hands clenched and unclenched the fur covers. “Stinky even told me to be sure no papers were on my papa before we buried him. I’m so stupid.”

  “Stinky?” Brian giggled.

  Her head ached. “Yes, Stinky Sullivan. He and my pa were making plans to ranch together. He had his eye on me but they don’t call him Stinky for nothing.”

  Brian laughed louder. “I wouldn’t want that name.”

  “He’s a polecat!”

  This time Patrick joined Brian in laughing. The urge to cry left her. There was nothing she could do about it now. “At least I know why. My hurt by their actions grew daily, and I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. Dang, I even cared for their children when they were sick. We spent a lot of time together, and I grew to think of them as family.” A deep sigh escaped her and she lay back until her head hit the pillow. It hadn’t been her fault after all. They had her almost convinced she was a bad person. Peacefulness filled her soul and she stared up at the log ceiling, hoping her parents were together in heaven watching over her.

  “Are ya alright, lass?” His dark eyes filled with compassion and one dark brow rose.

  “Yes. Lass? Might you have a wee bit of Irish in ya?” she asked in her best Irish brogue.

  “My pa was born there, County Tyrone. He loved America but often longed to be back home.”

  “My papa had lots of stories from when he was a boy there in County Mayo. He always had the same longing. He left a lot of family back there.”

  When he smiled, he looked much younger. His grin was almost boyish and his eyes had a bit of sparkle in them. What a transformation from the brooding look he usually had. It was a very nice change indeed.

  Both of his guests were sleeping and he couldn’t help but watch them. What to make of the whole situation, he had no idea. Samantha, so positive of her story and Brian very convincing about his. The boy had the same coloring as Samantha. Blood would always tell. It was a saying he’d heard repeatedly. It was the very reason he lived away from the rest of the world. He’d lived in so-called polite society most of his life but as soon as his pa died, he took off. There wasn’t anything or anyone in town for him. People put up with his pa well enough, but their good will didn’t extend to his half-breed son.

  No sense bemoaning his past. He, like Brian, was just an innocent lad. No one would lay another hand on the boy. No one helped him, but he’d do the right thing and help someone who couldn’t defend himself.

  Grabbing his bedroll from the corner, behind his pile of furs, he spread it out in front of the fireplace and lay on it. Sleep came easier than anticipated.

  The sounds of whispers woke him with a start and quick as lightning he was on his feet. His face heated at the startled expressions on Samantha and Brian’s faces. “Sorry, I forgot ya were here. It’s good to be fast on your feet out here.”

  Samantha nodded but Brian’s brows furrowed. Poor child probably had to be fast on his feet to try to avoid beatings. Though it didn’t appear he’d been successful. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head. How could his ma allow it to happen? Many women were afraid of their husbands and were beaten too, but Samantha wasn’t full of marks on her body.

  She hadn’t asked about him undressing her when he rescued her and put her to bed. It was just as well. It would have made for some awkward conversation. It was an image he couldn’t forget. She was beautiful, the type of woman who would never allow him to touch her.

  “Good morning! If you’ll move your things from the fireplace I’ll make us some tea and breakfast.”

  He closed his eyes—a morning person he wasn’t, but apparently Samantha was extra cheery in the morning. After he folded up his bedroll and put it back in the corner, he pulled on his boots and grabbed his coat. “I need to… I’m going to get more wood and water.”

  “You’re leaving?” Brian’s eyes widened and he wrapped his arms around Patrick’s middle.

  Patrick’s heart tugged. “I’ll be back, don’t worry.” The boy still had doubt written all over his face. “Really, I’ll be as quick as I can.”

  Brian nodded and Samantha leaned down, putting her arms around his small frame. “You can help me cook.”

  He nodded again but he didn’t take his gaze off Patrick.

  “Go on.” She moved her hand as if waving him out the door.

  Once outside, he paused and looked back at the cabin. So much for solitude. It was a shame the poor boy didn’t trust anyone. It was one of those life lessons learned the hard way. He hoped Solomon was out there frozen to death. No, death was too easy; he hoped the bastard was suffering in the blizzard without food or shelter. He made his way to the barn and Ahearn snorted in greeting.

  “Guess we’re going to have a few extra mouths to feed for a bit. Samantha is too bright and happy. I mean she brightens the place up, but I’m used to gloomy silence. And the boy, if someone doesn’t teach him to trust soon, he may never trust anyone.”

  Ahern butted his shoulder with his nose. “I know, old boy, just like me. Looks like it’s going to be snowshoes for a while. The
snow is getting too deep for me to take ya with me. Wish I was alone. I’d hunt down that thieving Solomon and get my furs back, but I promised I’d stay. Glad I have ya to talk to.” He patted Ahern’s muscled flank and walked toward the cabin. He’d stick around for the day but starting tomorrow, he had traps to check.

  “Why do you keep insisting I’m your ma? You know it’s not true.” She tried to keep her voice gentle but she wasn’t feeling so nice now. She’d been at it for at least a quarter hour but Brian wouldn’t budge.

  Crossing her arms in front of her, she tapped her foot. “You’re afraid of this Solomon guy, I get it. It’s understandable, but you can’t go around calling me your ma. I’ve never been married for Pete’s sake. Patrick didn’t think too highly of me before you came along and now he thinks I’m an awful mother on top of it all. I don’t know what to do or say.”

  Brian refused to look at her. He kept his gaze on the floor, barely blinking as though he didn’t hear her.

  “Brian? Answer me please.”

  The door opened and Patrick came in with a rush of cold air. “He has no respect for you. He’d answer ya if he did. Can’t say I blame him.” He set a pail of water on the floor then walked to the fireplace and dropped the wood beside it. He took off his winter gear and his brow arched when he finally noticed her glare.

  “I’m only telling you the truth of things.”

  “You wouldn’t know the truth if it was right in front of you. How far is it to town, did you say?” She couldn’t stay anywhere near Patrick and his judgmental gazes anymore.

  “A couple days by horse, maybe a week walking.”

  She huffed and put breakfast on the table. “You have laid in a lot of supplies.”

  “Living up here, I get snowed in.” He sat down and Brian quickly followed suit.

  She waited for Patrick to offer her the chair but the offer never came. So much for him being any type of gentleman. “We seem to be one chair short.”