Love So Deep

by Kathleen Ball

  “I’m sure they do.” She handed the other woman a tin cup filled with hot coffee. “This should warm you up.”

  Violet Flower took the offered drink and quickly wrapped her hands around it.

  “You probably shouldn’t have been out in this weather.”

  “I am bearing a child, not an old woman. I do what I’m told. I do what a good helpmate would do. I have the know-how to help Mountain Man in times like these. You don’t.”

  She didn’t answer her. She didn’t want to take the chance Violet Flower would try to kill her again. Some things were forgivable, but being held at knifepoint pleading for your life wasn’t one of them. But Violet Flower was right. She didn’t know how to help them survive.

  Wind rushed in and swirled around her when Patrick and Brian came inside. They dropped the last of the wood, took off their snowshoes and coats and stacked the wood. Patrick caught her gaze and grinned.

  “Good you have coffee ready. Thanks.”

  “Sit and I’ll get it for ya.”

  “Me too!” Brian told her with a happy grin. “I like coffee too.”

  Samantha shook her head. “You are too young to drink coffee.”

  “He did a man’s work today. He should drink a man’s coffee.” Patrick nodded at Brian until Brian smiled even wider.

  She opened her mouth and closed it again. Brian needed something warm to drink. Solomon probably let him drink coffee all the time. Taking two cups off the makeshift shelf, she leaned over and grabbed the coffee pot. The heat from the handle scorched her hand, and she cried out.

  Patrick rushed to her side, grabbed her hand and plunged it into one of the buckets of snow. “Ya need to focus on what you’re doing,” he chided.

  “You are too much of a distraction.” The words flew out of her mouth.

  Patrick rubbed her hand with the snow, wearing a big old grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever been a distraction before. I’ve been called many things in my life but distraction, hmm. I like it.”

  She snatched her hand back and turned her back to him. Her face grew painfully red as her body tingled. His masculinity was too much and she acted like a fool. Glancing over her shoulder, she caught Violet Flower narrowing her eyes. Patrick was right, she did need to focus on her task. Otherwise, she might get herself killed.

  This time she grabbed a cloth to use for the coffee pot. She poured two cups and put the pot back in the hot coals. “Here you go.” Brian thanked her and put the cup against his chest.

  Patrick’s eyes filled with mirth when she handed him his cup. His intense scrutiny flustered her and her stomach turned flips. Patrick was right, this cabin was too small for them all.

  “Aren’t ya going to have any?” he asked.

  No, I’ve had mine already.” There were only three cups and she wasn’t about to make a fuss over something that couldn’t be changed. In life, you had to make do.

  She grabbed the biscuits, this time protecting her hands, and set the cast-iron pot on the table. “I was going to slice up some meat but—”

  “Someone stole the knives.” Violet Flower nodded her head toward Patrick.

  “It’s not stealing if they belong to me. Besides, I didn’t want any accidents to happen. I find caution is best.”

  “You’re right. Ya can’t steal what’s already yours. I do not like the way she looks at you. You are promised to me, Mountain Man. My father said you were honorable and would marry me because of the child. I see he was wrong, you are not honorable.” Violet Flower gave him a look of disdain.

  Patrick’s body stiffened and his lips pressed into a tight line. “Ya know better than to challenge a man’s honor. Ya are mean spirited and it’s no wonder your man threw ya out.”

  Samantha gasped and clutched a hand to her pounding chest. “Patrick—”

  He waved her away. “No, Samantha. Don’t try to make this better. Among the Utes honor is above all else and Violet Flower knows I understand what honor means. For her to question mine is unthinkable. It is something ya never do to a man. I have made sacrifices to be an honorable man, a man of integrity and not the half-breed annoyance the townspeople believe me to be.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Violet Flower, I can't condone your lies any longer. Ya are forbidden to speak to me from now on.”

  “She’s forbidden to speak?” Brian frowned.

  “She can speak, just not to me.” His shoulders dropped as the tension fled his body. At the foot of the bed, he kneeled down and grabbed a locked box from underneath. He drew the key from his boot and unlocked the box. He quickly closed it and Samantha didn’t get a glimpse of what was inside except for the knife he retrieved. “Here, Samantha, use this to cook and keep it on ya at all times for protection.”

  “Pro-- protection? I don’t think I could.”

  “Ya would if ya had to.” He strapped on his snowshoes, grabbed his gear and slammed the door on his way out.

  Violet Flower stood and slammed her cup onto the wooden table. “You have driven him from his home. You will pay, White Woman.”

  “You are wrong.”

  “No! Mountain Man was picked for me to marry. We’d be in bed together sharing ourselves if not for you. You give him no comfort. He sleeps on the floor next to the bed. You have turned him into a senseless man instead of the warrior he is. Once the baby comes, I will be put out. I will be left to starve because of you.”

  Samantha shook her head. “You have some strange ideas of what is right and what is wrong.” She grabbed the empty cups and began to wash them with water she heated over the fire. “There is meanness and anger inside you and I feel sorry for you.”

  “Sam? Can I go outside?” Brian asked.

  “I think Patrick needs time alone to think. It’s best you stay here. Do you know how to read?”

  Brian shook his head.

  “We can get started in a minute. We may not have a slate but we have the hearth and ashes. It’ll do just fine.”

  “I don’t go much for learnin’ and the like.”

  “It’ll be fun and it will help to pass the time.” She smiled at the doubt he showed. It would help to pass the time and she needed something to do besides banter with the other woman.

  It was warm sitting near the fire. She patted a place next to her for Brian to sit. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

  He frowned at her and hesitated but he finally sat next to her. It would be an uphill battle but she hoped to make learning fun.

  Smoothing out a good amount of white ash on the ground before them, she grabbed a stick. A few of the mothers on the wagon train had taught their children in the same manner. “This is the first letter.” She drew a capital A in the ashes and then handed the stick to Brian. “You try.”

  Brian took the stick and pressed his tongue against his top lip as though he pondered the fate of the world. He made a perfect letter A and smiled. “I did it!”

  The other woman snorted and shook her head.

  Samantha shrugged. She wasn’t going to let Violet Flower ruin her good mood. “Let’s try another.”

  Brian nodded eagerly. He was a quick learner and took pride in each letter he wrote. Every time he smiled in satisfaction, Violet Flower snorted or sniffed. One time she actually growled.

  “Do you know how to make clothes from buckskin?” Samantha asked.

  “Of course I do, but I’m not making clothes for you.”

  She wanted to roll her eyes at her but tried for a serene expression instead. “Patrick needs a shirt and a pair of pants.”

  “For Mountain Man I will make a set of buckskins.” Her eyes gleamed as though she’d won a battle but she had no idea she was doing exactly what Samantha wanted—to be shown how to make clothes from the deer skins.

  Patrick came in from the cold and quickly glanced around. He probably expected trouble. He took off his coat, hat, and gloves then unstrapped his snowshoes. He started toward the fire and Brian shrugged.

  “Sam wanted to pass the time showing me some lear
ning. Men like us don’t need learning do we?”

  Disappointment flashed through Samantha. She’d thought they’d had fun. She stared up at Patrick and he cocked his left brow as he stared back. “Actually men like us do need to be educated. Too many people in the world try to take advantage of others. It’s a good thing to know how to read and do some figuring too.”

  The wide grin on her face wouldn’t vanish no matter how hard she tried. Her heart filled with pride for Patrick. He really was a good man. Not because he could read, but because he saw things as they were and took steps to make sure he didn’t come out the loser.

  Brian nodded happily. He’d enjoyed learning and she was surprised at how much Patrick’s approval meant to him.

  “I’m glad you’re in out of that bitter cold. I’m also sorry if we drove you to leave your own house. You’re right, the cabin is too small for bickering.” She started to stand and Patrick gently took her arm and helped her. His nearness made her heart flutter so she instantly stepped away.

  “I nearly forgot I brought ya something.”

  “You brought the white woman something?”

  “It’s for all of us.” Patrick shook his head and mumbled. He walked to the door, opened it and grabbed two crates from outside. “We can sit on these so we can all eat together.”

  “It’s a wonderful idea, Patrick.” Samantha tried one out. “It’s the perfect height for the table.”

  “Good.”

  “I’m going to make you new buckskins to wear. I know how.” Violet Flower raised her chin in pride.

  Samantha wasn’t sure he’d answer.

  Patrick smiled at her. “Thank ya.”

  She closed her eyes and prayed for peace, hoping it wasn’t too much to ask.

  Chapter Four

  Patrick gazed up at the cloudless sky. He lit his pipe and took a deep draw. He knew what cabin fever meant. He’d never minded the mountain winters before, but this year, hell, any excuse to be outside became a blessing. In the last two weeks, every day played out the same. Samantha did all the housework and Violet Flower sat making him his buckskins, all the while glaring.

  Samantha ignored her for the most part, which was for the best, and Brian was learning words. Perhaps the next time he was in town he’d buy a book for the boy. He took the pipe out of his mouth and shook his head. What was he thinking? They’d be gone by the next time he went into town or at the very least, they’d go to town with him and part ways.

  There was no doubt in his mind— Samantha would take Brian with her back East. At least he thought she was going back East—it was the only thing that made sense. As for Violet Flower, there were other bands of Utes besides the Mountain Utes. He’d have to do it before the council gathering or word would get out about her unfaithfulness.

  By the size of her belly, he guessed her time would be soon. He relaxed a bit, knowing she was unwieldy and less likely to kill anyone. Samantha knew how to deliver a baby, didn’t she? All women probably knew. He planned to take Brian for a walk while it took place.

  Puffing on his pipe, his thoughts drifted to Samantha. In fact, it was too common an occurrence, but he couldn’t help himself. She was a truly kind woman and too good for him. He knew the rules, society’s rule, and he couldn’t have her. There was no way he’d subject her to being ostracized because of him. A hurt ran to the very core of him, one he would never completely shake. No, it was not a life for her.

  Additional snow had fallen in the last few weeks, covering the ice. It was time for him to scout around. There were many ice and snow-laden branches felled or close to falling and he’d need to clear the area of the possible dangers. A big branch falling on Brian could kill him. Emptying his pipe, he then slid it into his pocket. He went into the barn, greeted Ahern, grabbed his axe and started clearing a safe path toward one of his traps.

  It was hard work keeping an eye on the branches above while watching where he walked. He dragged heavy tree limbs to the side of the path and chopped down ones he could reach. Eventually he’d drag the wood back to the cabin to use for the fire.

  He made his way down to the river where he’d laid a trap. Looking up one way and down the other, he couldn’t believe his trap was gone. Traps weren’t cheap but he did end up losing at least one a year. It was probably in the river. Slogging on, he reached the next trap, or rather where the trap was supposed to be. His brow furrowed and he made sure he was in the right place. He squatted down and inspected the area. He wiped away snow from the area and sure enough in the ice-packed snow underneath was a boot print.

  A white man and a stranger. A trapper would rather starve than steal a trap. There were unspoken rules in the mountains. Troubled, he made his way to the cabin, dragging one of the downed branches with him. Someone was in these woods and he needed to protect both women and Brian. Did Samantha know how to use a rifle? Shaking his head, he smiled. She was full of surprises. She just might know how to shoot.

  The snapping of a twig on the ground alerted him he wasn’t alone. He dropped the branch and sidestepped off the path into the dense woods. He stood behind a tree, listening and waiting. All was quiet but he could sense someone was out there. Ducking, he silently made his way up the mountain away from the cabin. He stopped frequently, scanned the area, and listened. Stopping behind a few downed trees, he watched and waited.

  Finally, he grabbed a branch and did his best to wipe away his shoe prints from the snow. A real tracker wouldn’t be fooled. It was hard to wipe away tracks in the snow. He laid tracks going in various directions and headed back to the cabin. Who was this person and how were they surviving in this weather? Damn, maybe Smitty died. He hadn’t looked well the last time he saw him. He’d check it out tomorrow.

  Once the cabin was in sight, he breathed a sigh of relief until he got closer. One of his missing traps was set right outside the cabin door. He quickly made his way to it and stuck the branch he’d been using into the trap and added a bit of weight. The jaws of the trap closed and snapped the end of the branch off. The pounding of his heart echoed in his ears. He’d have to track down the son of a bitch and soon.

  The cabin door opened and Samantha stuck her head out. Her eyes lit up. “I thought I heard something.”

  “Grab your coat. I need to talk to ya.”

  She stared at him as though she was trying to read his mind. Nodding, she closed the door. When the door opened, again she was dressed for the outdoors. “What’s wrong?”

  He nodded his head in the direction of the trap.

  “I don’t understand.”

  Grabbing her hand, he led her into the barn and closed the door. Her breathing sounded labored. “I shouldn’t have dragged ya like that. I know the snow is deep. We have a problem. That trap was set and laid right outside the cabin door. I just found it.”

  She covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Two of my traps are missing and someone was out there in the woods. I thought I led him away from the cabin but he was here. I need to go. I have to find this animal before he ends up harming anyone.”

  “Are you going now?”

  “Yes, I can try to track him while the signs are still fresh and there is no new snow to cover them. I’ll need food to take with me. I probably won’t be home for a few days. I have a good idea where he’s been holed up.”

  “You could get hurt.” Her eyes filled with worry and his heart flipped.

  “I protect those under my care. It’ll be fine. Do ya know how to shoot a rifle?”

  Her eyes widened and she nodded. “You don’t think I’ll have to shoot anyone, do you?”

  He took off his glove and touched the side of her face. Her skin was so soft under his fingers. He stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “No. I’m just glad ya know how to shoot. The shotgun is hidden under the mattress on top of the ropes. Now, the shells are in the wooden clock on the mantle.”

  “Is that why the clock doesn’t work?”

  He smiled. “I don’t need a clock,
and I figure if someone broke into my place they wouldn’t want a broken clock.”

  “Please be careful.”

  Her sweet voiced pulled him in but he fought the urge to kiss her. “I need ya to get me the food. I don’t want to go into the cabin and get everyone worried. Just tell them I’m going hunting and may spend the night with an old trapper friend.” She was so damn beautiful. He dropped his hand.

  “Okay. I’ll get food for you. Do you need anything else?”

  Sweet Lord, she didn’t know what she was asking. “No, the food will be fine. I have everything else I need.” She walked away while his body screamed for her to return. “You’re lucky, Ahern, ya don’t have a temptation so powerful ya think ya’ll lose control.” He stroked the horse’s neck.

  He didn’t have to wait long before Samantha, shivering from the cold, returned.

  “I hope this will do. Canned beans and biscuits. I could make you something…”

  “This is more than enough, thank ya.” He took the offered sack and his gaze lingered on her sweet lips. He met her gaze and the way she looked at him made his heart flutter. The sack fell out of his grasp as he took a step forward, cupped the back of her head and took her lips with his. She reached up and wrapped her arms around him and he stilled. He had to walk away but she tasted of everything good. He coaxed her mouth open and almost smiled against her lips when she gasped. He deepened the kiss, promising himself this would be the one and only kiss they would ever share.

  The feeling of finally finding his place in the world intoxicated him, and her lips were so soft, so giving. Reluctantly he pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers, trying to regain his center. She moved until their gazes met and he groaned. Her eyes held promises he couldn’t accept.

  “I have to go.”

  “I know. Be safe.”

  He grabbed his belongings and walked out of the barn. He turned to have one last look and saw her face aglow, with her fingers slightly touching her lips. He’d never really known happiness until now. It was just as well there would be a bit of distance between them.