Harlequin Historical July 2021--Box Set 2 of 2

by Madeline Martin

  His face was recently shaven, as if he’d known that the morning one wouldn’t last throughout the night.

  She closed the door behind him.

  Her composure faltered and she retreated into her manners. She reached for the plate. ‘Have a biscuit,’ she said.

  He picked up the lemon one she’d half eaten. ‘I take it you didn’t like this one?’

  ‘Yes. No.’ She heard herself and ducked her head.

  He popped it in his mouth, chewed once, then swallowed. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Mother mentioned that your father has a chipped tooth and I should remember it.’

  ‘She was warning you about my family’s trials,’ he said. ‘Rumour has it that a man had the audacity to throw a teapot at an earl, chipping a tooth.’

  ‘That’s wrong.’

  ‘Father said he shouldn’t have been at the man’s house, in the wife’s room, having tea, with the husband gone for the night.’

  ‘Tea.’

  ‘Yes. Truly. Tea and biscuits.’

  ‘That must have been tense.’

  ‘Father said it is not to be repeated. He was thankful the tea had cooled and that they had not been polishing a broadsword.’

  Silence lengthened between them and she wanted to end it.

  She bit her lip. ‘I wonder if the teapot was one produced for us. One should always check the marking on a teapot,’ she said. ‘One wouldn’t want to throw one of inferior quality.’

  ‘I doubt he paid any attention. He was more concerned with escaping with all his parts intact. I think it changed his perspective.’

  ‘Then I’m pleased a teapot could help change someone’s life.’

  A silence drifted between them again and she touched his sleeve. ‘Thank you for the efforts to make me more comfortable in society. I view it as an act with everyone in on the performance.’

  He gave a nod of approval.

  ‘Your mother guided me after you left,’ she said. ‘She chatted with a few people with whom she expected I might share a common interest and introduced me to Susanna Winston, whose betrothed had died. I embarrassed myself by replying that we cannot all be so fortunate.’ Rachael shrugged. ‘But after Susanna had spluttered somewhat, she then laughed. But she had loved him and had been devastated.’

  ‘Lord Johnstone. What did you think of him? You spoke with him while I was there and danced a reel with him.’

  ‘Yes. A forlorn lord who’d lost his wife and was just out of mourning.’ A shoulder shrug. Words tossed aside with a flip of her hand, but he caught her fingers and she let them rest in his, amazed at how much warmth could flow between two people simply touching.

  ‘He’s not a bad sort.’

  ‘He gulped away tears when he spoke of his lost wife, but then a peach tart distracted him.’

  ‘That’s Lord Johnstone. The one and only.’ Their clasped fingers rested between them and he ran a fingertip over the knuckles of her hand. ‘He would likely wed you if you pursued him and threw in a few confectioneries.’

  ‘Contrary to what the world thinks, marriage is not my goal.’ She contemplated. ‘Which is good for me. Everyone thinks I’m attending to society because of the broken betrothal. Not because of the vagaries of business.’

  ‘Spoken like someone with an eye to commerce.’

  ‘Did you enjoy the evening?’ She had to know. After he’d slipped away, she doubted he’d returned home. But that was his way of life. What she would expect of him. Not to spend his nights doing something that might be admirable, but something entertaining.

  ‘A little long. A little dull after I left the party.’ He looked at her as if to say after he’d left her. ‘I’d promised to finally make good on my promise to Payton to join a few card games. Some drink. Light stakes.’

  This time she didn’t move closer to him, but she didn’t have to. Only their hands were touching, but it felt as if they were one person.

  He shrugged. ‘Payton was there so I knew not to wager much. The odds are not in favour of anyone who bets against him. I mainly played to watch him win. An attempt at trying to work out how he does it.’

  ‘You relish gambling?’

  ‘No. I enjoy the camaraderie, but even that bores me sometimes. It appears I’m gracious when I’m winning and leave, but I’m not. I’m just doing what I wish and everyone assigns me good motives. I’m always assumed to have the best of intentions.

  ‘It’s true.’ His face was towards her. ‘The perfect society events usually fascinate me for the first hour or so, and after I’ve spoken with everyone I leave, ready to search out friends for more revelry. I enjoy them immensely at first, get bored, then I want to find something else. Often, of late...’ he chuckled, an inward jab at himself ‘...I sometimes just long for my own bed and my own pillow.’

  Perhaps he was more of a homebody than she expected. Not entirely the devil-may-care man he appeared. Or, perhaps, he just knew so well what to say.

  ‘The first dance that I attended with you there... I can’t think it bored you.’

  ‘The night rather grabbed me by the throat.’ He regarded the floor, shaking his head before giving her a gaze followed by a commanding glare. ‘Don’t do that again.’

  ‘Once you’ve experienced it, it doesn’t bear repeating.’

  ‘It was a living nightmare. What if I hadn’t been there? I was so grateful I’d promised Mother I’d stay until the end. I hadn’t wanted to. But I knew it meant a lot to Mother, particularly as my brothers left earlier. The longest night of my life was in the seconds I ran across the room.’

  ‘I didn’t really comprehend what was going on.’ It wasn’t the longest night of her life. It was a second, a flash, the Viscount throwing his body against her and people staring. She’d really not understood what was happening, except she was in pain and everyone was aghast. A secret that she hoped to take to her grave was that she’d almost slapped him, except somewhere deep in her brain she’d had a realisation that he had just saved her.

  ‘That night, later, I woke up, the enormity of what had happened blasting into me. And the scent you wore. Even with the toasted silk around you, it was as if you smelled of a summer day’s innocence.’

  She held her wrist in his direction. ‘The same perfume I’m wearing now.’ Nothing special. ‘I couldn’t believe—and can’t—after all that has happened—you were interested in what my hair smelled like. I could give you a bottle of the mixture.’

  He took her hand in the same way he’d clasp a dandelion stem, not wanting to disperse the fluff. He lifted her closer, her arm rising, and he kissed the little hollow opposite her elbow.

  She was off balance and only in place because of his strength.

  ‘It would never be so enticing in a bottle. Never. Or never on another woman.’ He took his time, rubbing his cheek along her skin, letting the bristles rub against her. She stilled. Savouring. Breathing. He had some power over her body that she’d never experienced before. When he’d rescued her, he’d changed the connection between them for ever. She understood now the legend of owing your life to the person who’d saved you.

  It was not based in fact, but in the emotional realisation that the person had given you the opportunity to live another day.

  ‘I didn’t even know you, but within a few moments, I’d always known you,’ he added, reflecting her unspoken words. ‘Almost that we were a part of each other. I’d never been so close to a woman before in such a short time.’

  She knew what he meant. Could see it. Just an honest statement from him filled with nothing but the truth. And she’d experienced the same connection with him.

  ‘I’m grateful.’ She filled her body with a breath, freeing her from the emotional hold he’d captured her with and she could have stepped further from him, but she didn’t want to.

  With a caress, he released her wris
t. ‘I remember that giant ring,’ he said. ‘You stared at it as if someone you cared about had given it to you. I envied the person who’d captured your attention so wholly and I couldn’t ignore you. Probably why I realised you were in danger. My senses had heightened where you were concerned, almost blurring out anything not connected to you.’

  He laughed softly. ‘Later, I woke up thinking of you. Hoping you would be in the library. Disappointed at first you weren’t. Then surprised by you and the relief I felt. On the inside, I could have wept for joy. You were basically unharmed and you were also mortal. Not a dream I had imagined. I’d begun to wonder if I had conjured the intensity I’d experienced around you.’

  He released her hand and walked to the butler’s entrance and even though the space grew between them, the expression on his face kept them close. ‘It was as if I’d only been born for that act of putting out the fire. That’s how I feel.’

  ‘So, now, do you join a monastery, or will you drink to the sunrise every morning?’

  A shrug. ‘Neither.’ He straightened his coat sleeve. ‘When I schooled you on how to act, it seemed I was teaching you that the things I’d always been most comfortable with were little more than a charade at life. Without either of us intending it, you are changing my life as well.’

  Then he raised his eyes to her and he smiled, a reflection of trust and admiration that could erase all the mistakes he’d ever made. ‘When I held you in my arms, I could feel your heart beat. With my entire body. I could feel every nuance of your skin. I didn’t know anyone could feel like silk and velvet and...’

  She knew what he meant when he said he’d seen her across the room and she’d captured his attention in a way no one else had. He’d faded everything else in the world.

  ‘Or perhaps I’m feeling the loneliness caused by all the years of thinking of myself first.’

  Silence flowed like soft music and the flickering light danced around them.

  ‘If you’ve spent your life thinking of yourself first, perhaps you need to get a dog.’ She remembered what her mother had said. ‘They’re faithful. And they don’t judge.’

  And much safer for her if he chose something besides her to shower his attentions on.

  ‘And you? Do you judge?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then I’m surprised you let me in.’

  ‘I don’t judge harshly. Not among friends.’

  She moved to him. Soft. Easily. Unable to stop.

  ‘You might reconsider that.’ He touched her hair and leaned closer, his breath against her lips.

  ‘I have lived my whole life without taking risks and they found me. I think I should take a few of my own choosing,’ she said. ‘I’d like to take a gamble with you.’

  ‘That’s something else you might wish to reconsider.’

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  He saw the moment she took his words as rejection and he felt the pain as a direct hit to his abdomen.

  ‘Sweeting, no matter what happens, never feel rejected by me or anyone. If we do not choose to understand the beauty in you, it is our loss.’

  ‘Easy words to say.’

  He moved so close their lips almost touched and their breaths intermingled, unable to pull himself from her gaze and do the safe thing. Leave.

  He remembered the partings he’d initiated in his past. He’d have preferred them not to feel necessary.

  But he’d used his abilities of persuasion to soften the disappointment. And he’d given kind attentions as he’d distanced himself. The sweetness had melted their frowns and he’d discreetly made them aware they would soon have the chance to toss him a glare or a laugh in front of a new beau.

  He didn’t think Rachael could take a gentle goodbye easily. A few more years in society. A few more rakes to laugh with and maybe she would. But he didn’t want her hurt. Abandoned. Or fighting a battle alone.

  She should not be forced to make her way in the world without someone by her side. It wasn’t fair to her. Even a husband like Lord Johnstone would be of benefit to her. He could entrench her in society.

  He understood that he’d never had to scramble for a footing in society. Although, at boarding school, the boys had insisted he prove himself worthy of their camaraderie. He’d enjoyed the challenge.

  The test of matching wits had been a game. Matching strength and agility had been easy for him as well.

  Even the challenge of marriage hadn’t always daunted him.

  Rachael was someone he wanted as a friend for the rest of his life and her future husband might not accept them together so kindly if they’d had a liaison.

  His words were low. ‘You don’t understand what you’re risking. If things change between us, we will never be able to return to the innocence together we have now.’

  ‘I have already lost a lot of my innocence.’ She puffed out a breath of air that ruffled the wisp that had fallen in front of her eyes. ‘I’ve learned the multiplication tables.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘I don’t think it is entirely the same.’

  ‘I’m feeling stronger now than I’ve ever felt in my life, even though I’ve recently been—for all intents and purposes—jilted, injured and I’ve discovered my inheritance is little more than dust. I’m angry and it’s no time for me to tread lightly. When I did exactly as expected the results were near disastrous. I should experience life, because living cocooned hasn’t kept me from adversity.’

  ‘But you could have many more trials. Particularly if you were to take unmanageable chances. We cannot continue to meet secretly. Too much is at risk. Your financial future cannot have secrecy or whispers attached to it. You have to be above reproach.’

  ‘Yes. I will take care. But I’ve decided scars don’t hurt as much as I’d expected. They’re a part of living.’

  The dark walls surrounding them didn’t seem austere, but enveloping and secure.

  ‘It feels like you’re keeping a barrier between us. Like you’re pushing me, trying to get me to leave.’ Rachael wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on the crisp fabric of his coat.

  ‘I shouldn’t have visited tonight,’ he said.

  ‘I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t.’

  ‘I understand where our feelings are going, and it’s a slippery path I don’t want you to travel. Too much at stake.’ He pulled her free so their gazes could lock.

  ‘I’m willing to take it.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘It’s no hazard for you.’

  ‘Yes. It is. I don’t want to lose our friendship,’ he said. ‘And that you think this isn’t a serious step for you concerns me. I cannot take advantage of naive innocence.’

  Her fingers hid in the lapel on his coat. ‘Things have happened to me recently which changed the direction of my life. Both of them could have had disastrous results. Marriage or death. This time, I would like to choose my direction. Not be a victim of what is going on around me.’

  ‘You can’t tell in advance what cards will be tossed last on the table.

  ‘You’re acting as if, because I am a virgin, I’m not capable of deciding things for myself. Perhaps I need to be a little more jaded. If I had been a little more worldly, I might not have been happily, innocently, betrothed to a man who didn’t want me to call him by his first name.’

  ‘I don’t want to be your method of revenge.’

  She stilled, contemplating his words. ‘I don’t want revenge on him. If he deserves trouble, he’ll take care of it himself.’

  ‘I think he does by not marrying you.’

  She appreciated the supportive words and crossed her arms around herself, letting her emotions tumble out. ‘It’s a rough world and I’ll be better prepared if I’m stronger. I accepted things I shouldn’t have in the past. I questioned nothing. The sun will never rise on another day like th
at for me. I’m going on my own path now and if it fails, it fails. I take responsibility for that.’

  She unfolded her arms and stepped closer again. ‘I can’t stay innocent for ever. I can’t remain in the nursery of my parents’ home and watch the other children go out and play and taste life.’

  ‘Yes. You can. If I have anything to do with it.’

  ‘Innocence got me a suitor who couldn’t get rid of me fast enough when he discovered I might not have the fortune he wanted.’

  She studied him, trying to get beneath the distracting veneer and understand the person with the sincere smile which deflected so much. ‘You want to brush me aside like Tenney did.’

  He took one step from her. ‘I don’t want to brush you aside like I did with all the others, or like I have been.’

  She stared beyond the distraction in front of her, forcing herself to respond. She made up her mind the direction she would choose and she’d deal with the consequences later. ‘You said you’ve always remained on friendly terms with the women in your life.’

  ‘But distant.’ The word seeped into the room with quiet finality.

  ‘You’re trying to keep me from being close to you now.’

  ‘Some would say it’s impossible to be close to me. The smiling veneer only goes into another smiling veneer, and you can’t find what isn’t there.’

  She walked to the mirror, touched the skin on her cheek and stared. ‘The two men I have cared for do not wish for me to touch them.’

  ‘That’s a lie.’ He stepped behind her. ‘Tenney may not have wanted you to touch him—’ his voice lowered to a gravelled whisper ‘—but I do. Since the first night I held you in my arms, I’ve wanted to hold you again.’

  He hesitated. ‘But we cannot continue to meet privately and expect it to remain secret. You would risk too much and I would risk nothing. It’s not fair to you.’

  He put his hand on her shoulders and his head dipped, resting against hers. The caress of his lips against her neck created a fiery yearning that pulled her against him.